by Jane Henry
He’s pushing the rules.
My phone rings. Pulling my phone out of my bag, I recognize the incoming call and sigh, taking it into the bathroom and shutting the door. His teacher only calls me when it’s something important.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Diana. It’s Cindy.”
I’ve been on a first-name basis with Chad’s teacher since September.
“Hi, Cindy. I can tell by the way he got off the bus he didn’t have a good day.”
I hear a sigh on the other end of the phone. “I’m sorry to tell you, but yes. He was teasing another child during recess. From what I can gather, it was only in good fun, but you know he doesn’t always know when too much is too much.”
“I know.” He tries hard to fit in with the other kids but often misses social cues, though his therapist and I work with him, and his teachers do, too. Role playing with him, and discussing social skills, he still sometimes pushes things too far with other kids, who are less understanding.
“So, the other child, who has some pretty serious anger issues, emptied Chad’s bag into the coat room closet.”
“Oh no.”
My voice drops to a whisper. Chad’s religious about making sure his bag is packed the way he likes it. He even lines up his pencils and pens by color, alphabetically sorting his folders by subject. His Avengers backpack is his pride and joy. If anything in his bag is out of place, he often tics.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you earlier. We had a fire drill at school today, and, as you can imagine… I have some students who don’t handle those very well.”
I pinch my fingers at the bridge of my nose. My son is one of them.
“I tried my best, as did my aide, in helping him rearrange his bag, but just around the time when we got him settled, the first fire alarm went off. And honestly, shortly after that it was time to get going home, and he was pretty wound up by then.”
Oh, God. Sirens terrify him.
I let out a shuddering breath. “Hey, thanks for letting me know.”
“Any time. Again, I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.”
“No, you’re fine. I get it. There’s only so much you can do.”
“Good luck. I hope he has a good night, and tell him I’m really proud of how he recited his Spanish today. He did an amazing job. And that I’ve never seen a kid read through Harry Potter so fast. He might even be getting a letter from Hogwarts this summer.”
I smile wanly. “I’ll tell him. Thanks, Cindy,” I say, my voice pregnant with meaning.
“Any time,” Cindy replies, and I hang up the phone.
I square my shoulders and approach Chad’s room, but my phone buzzes once more.
It’s Tobias. Hey, honey. Leaving here in about an hour so we can make dinner before we need to go. Sound good?
Great. How am I ever going to help Chad prepare for dinner with an almost stranger and a movie festival?
Sounds good but I haven’t had a chance to pick up food yet.
No problem, got it covered. Does Chad like ravioli? Bread? Meatballs?
Loves them, I reply. One crisis avoided.
All set then. See you in an hour.
Great. See you then. I hope he can’t “hear” the sarcasm in my tone.
I shove the phone in my pocket and knock on the bedroom door before I open it.
“Not talking,” Chad spits out, his teeth clenched. “I don’t want to talk.”
Lovely.
“We need to talk,” I insist, watching his reaction. If I push too hard, he might meltdown, and I don’t know if I can handle that right now.
“No,” he says staunchly, his fingers moving deftly over the controller in his hand, eyes riveted to the screen.
“I talked to your teacher. She told me what happened today.”
“I don’t want to talk!”
“Hey, no need to scream, buddy. You need some downtime, cool. I’ll let you have that today. But you and I are going to talk and we’ll do it in a way that doesn’t involve screaming. Understood?”
His jaw clenches, eyes still on the screen. “Fine.”
I draw in a breath and leave the room. A folder full of plans I have to work on for my new client sits by my desk. I have a little time to work on those before Tobias arrives, and I have to get Chad out of his room before then.
As I work, a little voice in the back of my mind tells me Chad will not be receptive to having company tonight. He won’t want to leave. Hell, I’m not sure how I’ll get him away from his console long enough to talk to him. As the time ticks by, I throw myself into my work, drawing out the plans and setting a budget my clients will approve of, so immersed in my work I don’t realize the time until the buzzer surprises me out of my work.
Glancing at the clock on my laptop screen, I curse under my breath. “Fuck. I can’t do this.”
But I stand and square my shoulders, drawing in a deep breath and pushing the flash of doubt away. You can do this. You do it every day. Chad needs you to teach him to handle this stuff. How are you supposed to teach him to handle it if you can’t? Girl, you took a whipping with a belt today.
I smile to myself as I go to the living room and hit the speaker button. “Yes? Who is it?”
I’m not gonna buzz him up and get my ass spanked for it, thankyouverymuch.
“Ahh, good girl,” comes the familiar voice.
I grin. “May I help you, sir?”
From the other room Chad yells, “No people! I don’t want anyone over here!”
Tobias speaks again. “It’s me, honey. Let me up? About to drop this bag of groceries.”
Smiling, I hit the buzzer, though my stomach clenches knowing that Chad is not gonna make this easy. A moment later, I hear a knock on the door. Peeking through the peephole, I confirm it’s Tobias and open the door.
“Hey, handsome. Long time no see.”
He smiles and leans down to kiss my cheek. The clean, masculine smell of sandalwood and strength blankets me as he rumbles, “Hey, honey.”
I lock the door behind him and he walks past me to the kitchen, putting the groceries on the counter.
“No people over!” Chad shouts from the other room.
Great.
Tobias turns to me, his brows arched curiously. “Bad day?”
I nod with a grimace. “Yeah. Really bad.” I fill him in. “And I haven’t made him come out yet, but I need to.”
He nods. “Not easy to deal with the meltdowns, but yeah, has to be done.” He leans against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed on his chest. “My sister, the one I told you about? Practically raised her like she was my own?”
I nod. I like that though he’s single, there’s something we can share on this level I haven’t been able to before. “She used to have epic meltdowns,” he continues. “My mom, she was tired and busy and didn’t have time to deal with her, so she’d give her anything she wanted. Mom went to work, but me, I didn’t play by those rules.”
I smile, already imagining the smaller badass version of the man who now stands in front of me.
“One night, she had a fit that beat all fits from the beginning of time. Had a world class temper tantrum over a TV show she wanted to watch. I said she had enough, she wanted more, I said no, fit ensued.”
“Oh no.” It’s easy enough to picture the scene, and uncomfortably familiar.
Tobias shrugs. “Picked her up, brought her to her room, she tore every book off her shelf at which point I picked her up, sat her on my lap so she wouldn’t hurt herself, wouldn’t let her up until she calmed down.”
“I can somehow totally picture this.”
“I was bigger and stronger.” He grins. “Guess who won?”
I smile.
“By the end of the night, those books were on the shelf, she slept like a baby, and next day when I told her to come for dinner, she came. We still laugh about that.”
“You’re big and strong, though,” I say. “I’m… not.”
His eyes warm.
Uncrossing his arms, he crooks his finger at me. “C’mere.”
I walk to him tentatively, wondering what he’ll say, what he’ll do, and how I’ll handle my son in the other room. Beatrice is the only one who “gets” it. Billy always gets angry at Chad’s fits and insists he needs to toe the line which inevitably ends in a painful power struggle, and my last boyfriend was completely bewildered.
“Yeah?” I stand between his legs, planted like tree trunks, and his arms encircle my waist, pulling me close.
“Babe, you’re strong, too.”
“I didn’t mean that I wasn’t—”
“Who’s the one who got him into the program he’s in now, raised him alone while her ex took off, manages her own business, and keeps this place looking so perfect?”
Perfect?
“Well… me.”
He taps my chin with his index finger. “Who’s the one who has a lifetime of experience in this world and has learned how to cope?”
My voice even smaller now. “Me.”
Do I really know how to cope?
He nods. “You’re bigger and stronger, too. There’s a reason you’re his mama, and you’re a damn good one.” He pulls me into him. “Long day, it’s easy not to want to face it. But let me ask you a question. How do you feel when I’m in charge?”
I sigh against his chest. “Good. It makes me feel safe and secure.”
“Exactly. And even though you fight it, you pushed me earlier today to take control. Different kinda control, babe, but you need that from me, he needs this from you.”
What he says rings so true. I can’t say anything in reply at first, but then he leans in and whispers in my ear. “And tonight? Diana, you’re not alone. I’m here with you. I’m not gonna take off because your kid is being a kid.”
It’s a damn good thing he doesn’t say something else at that point like, “Do you want to marry me?” because I’m not quite sure I can trust myself to respond logically.
“Yeah,” I whisper, standing taller now and pulling back so I can look at him. “Gotta handle this and help him process. I’m not getting into a power struggle, though. Billy did that all the time and it helped no one.”
“Big difference from being in control and taking it,” Tobias says. Then, with a smirk. “And that’s right about where the correlations I drew earlier end. Because tonight, I’m totally planning on taking control.” His eyes twinkle and his lips twitch, making me warm through.
Yeah, I’m down with that.
“Go,” he says, leaning in and brushing his lips against the apple of my cheek, a whispery kiss that makes me smile. “Right here if you need me. I’ll start cooking dinner.”
I step away and squeal as he gives my ass a playful smack, then turns to the counter and begins unpacking the bag. Straightening my shoulders, I walk down the hall.
“Chad? We have company.”
“Go away.” The crinkle of the bags in the kitchen doesn’t stop.
I draw in a breath and close my eyes briefly. “No. I’m not going away. You know the deal, kiddo. We talk, you do your homework, then you game. Today you had a bad day and I let the routine slide, but it’s time you put that down and come here now.”
No response.
Fine, then. I decide I’m going in. I turn the handle on the door, and my mouth falls open when the handle doesn’t give. He locked it? He never locks himself in his room. Shutting the door is surprising enough, as he prefers it open.
Panic rises when I try the handle once more and find I can’t budge it. “Chad! Unlock this door this minute!”
No response. “Chad?” Is he ok? The crinkling in the kitchen stops. Shit. I want to prove I can handle this.
“Chad!” I pound on the door, angry that he’s going to pull this, but truly concerned about not being able to get to him. “Open the door!”
“No. I don’t want to come out. I told you I don’t want company. Go away!”
I smack the door so hard my hand hurts. “Don’t you dare lock this door! I’ll take away your game for a month! I’ll—”
“What’s going on?” Tobias’s deep voice behind me makes me jump.
“He locked the door,” I say.
“You don’t have the key?”
“No. It’s one of those push-ones from the inside.”
“Ah.” He crosses his arms on his chest. “Easiest ones to pop open,” he whispers. “Might be better to get him to do it, though.”
“How?” I ask, throwing my hands up.
He points wordlessly to his chest and raises his brows, silently asking me if it’s okay if he interferes. Sometimes, Beatrice does, usually with pleading or bribery that almost always works, but something tells me Tobias won’t try that technique.
I nod.
“What’s going on here, Diana?” Tobias asks in a loud, booming voice, clearly wanting Chad to hear.
I take his cue. “He locked himself in his bedroom,” I respond loudly. “Which is gonna get him in major trouble if he doesn’t unlock this door.”
“Got it. Hey,” he says, so loud it almost makes me jump. “You think he’s okay in there? I know how to open the door.”
The toggling sounds on the other side of the door stop. “Chad? It’s Tobias. We met the other day. Not cool locking yourself in your room. Don’t need to tell you, your mom’s not happy. I’m giving you two choices. You open the door and we all go have the dinner I’ve got cooking in the kitchen. Your mom says you like ravioli. Might even be dessert in there. Choice number two, you don’t unlock the door, I open it for you and then you face the consequences. Your call.”
“I don’t want to open the door.”
“Fair enough. More ravioli for me. Diana, be right back. I’ll get what I need to open the door.”
He turns, and I can tell by the look of determination on his face, he’s not bluffing.
There are sounds of scuffling on the other side. Then, “I didn’t want company tonight!”
Tobias turns back to the door. “Sorry to hear that, bro, but your mom did, and she lives here too. No worries, though. You don’t have to talk to me or anything.”
There’s silence, then, “I don’t want to unlock the door.”
“Got it. Be right back.”
He starts to walk away, and as he does, I hear the door handle jiggle. “What are you doing?”
Tobias stops, projecting his voice. “Me? Cooking dinner and preparing to unlock your door. You?”
I admire how matter-of-fact he is. He never raises his voice. Doesn’t back down. Means exactly what he says.
Nothing happens for a moment, then Tobias takes a credit card out of his wallet and heads to the door. He says in an aside to me, “Your call, babe, but my kid locked me out of his room, that door would lose the lock, and that gaming system would be mine.”
“Totally.”
But before he slides the card through and unlocks the door, I hear a pop and the door flings open with a somewhat startled-looking Chad standing on the other side. “How do you open a lock?” He doesn’t seem angry, anymore, just curious.
“We can talk about that after,” I say, walking past him into his room. “Games are mine until you finish your schoolwork and eat dinner. Do all those things with a convincing apology, and I’ll consider giving it back.” I turn to face him. “You do not ever lock your door again.”
He opens his mouth as if to protest, his eyes flashing at me, but Tobias speaks up, his arms crossed on his chest. “Seems reasonable to me.” He shakes his head. “Consider yourself lucky, man, you get another chance of getting that back.” He says it in a way that somehow both underscores he has my back, yet sympathizes with Chad. “Dinner won’t take much longer. Wanna help?”
Chad blinks, looks at me, then back to Tobias. “Yeah,” he says. “But first can you show me how you unlock doors?”
Tobias chuckles and claps Chad on the back. I freeze. Chad hates when people he doesn’t know touch him. It’s resulted in epic meltdowns in the past. Bu
t he seems to like Tobias.
“Yeah, I’ll help you cook dinner.” He turns to me. “But I am not going to any stupid film festival, and you can’t make me.”
“Whoa, now.” Tobias holds up a hand, his voice sharper. “I’m a full-grown man and I don’t talk to your mother that way. Why don’t you try that again?”
Though part of me chafes at the correction, I know my son needs the example of a good man, and I’m doing Chad no favors by babying him.
Chad looks at him, then me. “I really don’t want to go tonight.”
“Fine with me, baby,” I say, my eyes going to Tobias, who nods.
“Fine by me, too, could do our own film festival right here.”
Chad grins and walks behind Tobias as he goes to the kitchen. I follow them, wondering if what I’m seeing is really happening. I shoot a quick text to Beatrice.
OMG. Chad locked himself in his room and was on the verge of an epic meltdown and Tobias stepped in. Got him to come out, and now he’s helping him cook dinner.
A second later Beatrice responds. That is the sexiest thing I’ve heard all week.
Right?
Hold on to that one, babe. KEEPER. Keep. Er.
I shove my phone into my pocket, and look to my boy, standing beside Tobias who’s just made him laugh, Chad’s eyes alight.
What’s happening here? The relief I felt a moment ago evaporates. I have to be careful. My stomach twists with nerves, afraid of what could go wrong. Am I doing the right thing?
I let out a shuddering breath.
There are now two hearts at stake.
Chapter 16
“Do not let go of that headboard,” I order.
It’s a full week later, and I’ve made good on my promise of taking control, her reaction so visibly pleased, it’s all I can do not to fuck her up against the wall of my office when she pays me a surprise visit. I haven’t, though, not immediately. I took care of business at my desk with a raging hard-on, then somehow made it to the private room earmarked as mine.