“Why?”
“Mainly because they think they have to find a job exactly like the one they had before. Pride has a lot to do with it,” she explained. “But with some counseling and guidance, we have a great success rate. It may not be exactly what they had before, but that’s something they can work toward if they truly want to.”
It made sense when she explained it like that. Julian had never been poor and his family had never struggled with unemployment, so this was all foreign to him. His father had worked as an accountant for thirty years and his mother had been a stay-at-home mom for most of his life and was now enjoying being a photographer. One career for each. And before the band had hit it big, Julian had worked for a landscaping company. He’d never been fired or laid off—he simply left when the band got a recording contract.
“So how do these people live? I mean, let’s say you help them find a job but they’re living here at the shelter. How do they make it work when they have to start over from scratch? I would think that in itself would be overwhelming.”
“Oh, it is! But we’re lucky we have a donation center where people donate everything from clothing and furniture to dishes and all kinds of housewares. It’s available to everyone, and by the time most people are ready to sign a lease on an apartment, we have enough here to help them at least begin to furnish their new home.”
“But what if they need more? How can they possibly do it all if they’re working at a fast food restaurant making minimum wage and have a family to support?”
Julian had no idea why he was asking so many questions, except now that this kind of situation was brought to his attention, he was curious. Although, knowing what Charlotte thought about him, he was pretty sure she believed he was asking for his own personal reasons.
Before she could answer, three men turned the corner, and he saw by the way Charlotte seemed to relax that these were the ones she was waiting for.
“Carl! Derek! George! I’m so glad you were able to come!”
And with that, they all walked inside for class.
* * *
It wasn’t like her to be so distracted, and yet Charlotte was.
It didn’t matter what she was doing or saying, she could feel Julian’s eyes on her. He didn’t ask any questions and he didn’t offer to answer any of hers, so she just chalked it up to him wanting to observe. That was fine and well, but she couldn’t help sneaking glances his way and every time she did, he caught her doing it.
Focus, Charlotte!
After she had spent the first part of the class talking, she assigned everyone a computer station. She’d offered one to Julian and he’d sat down at it, but she noticed he didn’t search or apply for anything. Maybe he was nervous, because it couldn’t be that he didn’t understand the instructions. It had been her intention to go and sit with him and ask if he needed help, but it seemed like tonight was the night of a million questions from everyone else. And each time she happened to glance in Julian’s direction, he was watching her intently.
When the timer on her phone went off, letting her know classroom time was over, she almost sagged with relief. At least now when they went to help out with the truck, she would be too busy to be so aware of him.
Only…if anything, now she was even more aware of him.
The man had muscles and he wasn’t afraid to use them.
He could have unloaded the truck by himself. There didn’t seem to be anything he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—do. He was mesmerizing to watch, and although she had at least a hundred things she could be doing, she found herself stopping to watch Julian lift and carry boxes.
And wishing there was a second truck to unload.
“CeeCee!” someone called out, and Charlotte immediately turned around. “What time do you need the room on Thursday?”
Hank Carter ran the center and she knew he had her schedule—she always gave it to him a month in advance—but he had a tendency to seek her out to confirm and reconfirm. Walking toward him, she gave him a patient smile. “I’m planning to come in at two on Thursday, Hank,” she said. “I believe we already have a dozen people signed up for the workshop but there is plenty of room for more, so if you know of anyone and want to send them my way, please do.”
“You’re such a blessing to the people here, CeeCee,” he said warmly. She wasn’t fond of the nickname, but she never argued over it. “We had three new families arrive last night, and we gave them all of your information so you should be expecting to hear from them, possibly before Thursday.”
For the next fifteen minutes, he gave her a brief overview of each of their situations. The wheels in her mind were already turning as she thought of ways to help them immediately.
“Have them reach out to me first thing tomorrow,” she said, feeling hopeful. “I’ll be in the office at eight and we’ll get right to work on their cases.”
“You’re amazing,” he replied. “I wish everyone was as involved as you.”
“Thanks, Hank.” With a smile and a wave, Charlotte went to go and check on the progress of the truck being unloaded.
Or maybe she was just going to look at Julian.
“Charlotte!” someone else called out as soon as she began walking toward the loading dock. Why did she think she could just go and stare at someone when her time at the center was usually spent talking to the residents and staff and helping put out fires seemingly everywhere?
For the first time in years, she almost resented the intrusion. She had her own work to do just like everyone else, and yet it seemed to her like nothing got done until she was here on-site. It was something she’d been dying to talk to Hank about, but she didn’t know how to do it without it sounding as if she was trying to tell him how to do his job.
Which, let’s face it, I would.
For the next two hours, she spoke with one of the new families, set up appointments for some one-on-one career counseling, and had more than enough to do to keep her from checking on Julian or the progress of the truck. By the time she was finally able to get back to it, the loading bay door was closing and the only one around was Hank.
Darn. Had she missed saying goodbye?
“Hey, CeeCee,” Hank said as he turned and walked toward her. “Great job tonight. We got so much accomplished. The new guy who joined your group—Julian?—he was a tremendous help.”
“Really?” she asked, wanting to be pleased, but she was also curious.
Nodding, Hank explained. “He helped unload the entire truck, and when that was done, he helped Gladys and Mark move all the boxes of donations that arrived yesterday. It required quite a bit of rearranging in the back storage room. We just told Julian what we needed, and he did it.”
Brow furrowed, Charlotte had to wonder where the heck everyone else was if Julian was doing all the work. Which was what she asked Hank.
“Oh, the other guys all helped with sweeping up and breaking down the pallets and boxes from the food delivery. This is the best this place has looked in a while.”
And it made her smile. It was nice to know she could do something to help make a difference, and she instantly felt bad for feeling so put-upon earlier.
“So what’s his situation?” Hank asked. “How long has he been out of a job?”
Charlotte shrugged. “Honestly, I have no idea. He hasn’t said. I just met him this morning and mentioned what we were going to be doing here tonight. I was kind of surprised when he showed up.” She paused. “Normally I can get a good read on people, but he’s not an easy case at all.”
“Some people are like that.” Hank studied her for a moment with a patient smile. “You know you can’t work miracles with everyone. And not everyone has so many layers that you need to take it upon yourself to go through.”
“Maybe…”
And while she knew Hank had a point, she didn’t think it applied to Julian. She knew enou
gh about people to know when there was more there than met the eye, and that was exactly what she felt in this situation.
And then there were some blurred lines in her reasons why she wanted to know more about him. It wasn’t solely for professional reasons, and it was the first time she’d ever had to deal with that kind of conflict. From the moment Julian had turned around in the coffee shop this morning, she’d felt more than a professional interest in him.
No matter what she tried to tell herself.
Charlotte was about to wish Hank a good night and say goodbye when something occurred to her. “Did Julian happen to mention what kind of job he was looking for?”
Hank shook his head. “It didn’t come up. If anything, I got the impression he doesn’t like to talk about himself. Any time we started talking about job prospects, Julian would ask what else needed to be done.” He chuckled softly. “That was kind of how we ended up getting so much done. You know we never turn down an offer of help.”
Which meant the topic of job prospects must have come up a lot.
“Oh. Okay. Thanks.” This time she did say goodbye and walked to the office to get her purse. On her way out, she glanced around and noted how the place did look a lot better than it had in a while—cleaner, less cluttered. She wished she could have thanked Julian, but he was nowhere in sight.
She stepped outside, foolishly hoping she’d find him outside just as she had earlier, but he wasn’t there. The sun was going down, and as she wondered where he might be, her stomach growled loudly. It was only then that she realized she hadn’t had anything to eat since her coffee and muffin that morning with Julian.
Julian…
With a sigh, she walked toward her car and wondered again what it was about him that had him so firmly planted in her mind. Did she want to help him? Yes. Did she need to know he was going to be okay? Absolutely.
Did she also want to run her hands up his muscular arms and touch him and then have those same arms wrapped around her?
She hung her head and shook it.
Yes.
It was right then when she knew if she did happen to hear from Julian again, she was going to have to ask one of her colleagues to help him.
She was already too emotionally invested in him, and not in a strictly professional way.
As Charlotte drove home, she forced herself to think about something else. Anything else. And surprisingly, it wasn’t hard to do. By nature, she was a list-maker, and once she pushed all thoughts of Julian aside, she realized how much she had to do in the coming week.
Going out with friends had become a bit of a challenge in the last six months because the last of them had gotten married and now everything was suddenly a couples’ event.
Every. Blasted. Thing.
Even their once-a-month brunch had all the husbands horning in. It was impossible to have any serious girl-talk with five men sitting there!
As much as she’d like to blame it on the guys for ruining their time out, it was also the way everyone was looking at her, wondering out loud why she wasn’t dating, asking when she was going to settle down and why she didn’t want a family.
She did! More than anything Charlotte wanted to get married and have kids and a dog and a house with a white picket fence, but it wasn’t so easy to find! Listening to her friends, however, you’d think it was. Each of them had met their Mr. Right, and when they told the story, it was as if they’d just opened their doors one day and said “Oh! There you are!” and that was that.
Um, yeah. That had never happened for her. If anything, she’d opened her door and found Mr. I-Have-Issues. She’d invest months in helping him, only to have him walk away and be someone else’s Mr. Right.
“Ugh…maybe I need to get a fish,” she said as she made her way to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of water.
Most people would contemplate getting a dog or cat, but not her. The ever-practical side of her knew she should start small and work her way up. Sure, a fish couldn’t snuggle with her, but she was a firm believer in not overwhelming herself when she tried something new. Fish would be easy to care for, and it wasn’t like she was going to invest in a big aquarium. Maybe just a goldfish for starters.
And how pathetic was it that she was actually starting to feel a little excited at the prospect of getting a goldfish?
* * *
“And nobody recognized you?”
Julian shook his head. “Nope. No one. I’d say it was weird, but I was just on the road without it happening so…maybe I’m used to it now.” He was sitting poolside at Riley’s house along with Dylan and telling them about his night working at the homeless shelter.
“So, here’s my question,” Dylan began. “Why? I mean, why go? You talked to this woman and she just assumed you needed help—which we’ll get to later—and that was the end of it. You never had to see her again, so why bother going?”
With a shrug, Julian reached for the bottle of water in front of him. “What else have I got to do?”
Riley and Dylan looked at each other and then back at him. “I would imagine after three months away you’d have a lot to do,” Riley said. “You’ve been away from everything and everyone. I would have thought you’d want to reconnect with your friends and your family, Jules. Your first night home and you’re out unpacking a truck in Santa Monica. It just seems a little…odd, that’s all.”
“It was my second night,” he corrected. “I talked to Mick, I’d been in contact with my folks the whole time I was gone, and now I’m here with the two of you. I’m meeting with a Realtor later today about the house, and I’m going to put most of my stuff in storage until I find a place of my own.”
“You may find someplace pretty quick,” Dylan said. “Paige and I did. It was the first house we went to and we just fell in love with it.”
Riley nodded. “That’s how I felt when I saw this house. Savannah and I talk about moving, since this was my place from before we met and it’s getting a little crowded with two kids, but we just love it.”
Julian couldn’t help but smile. If ever there was a family man, it was Riley Shaughnessy. It wasn’t just the fact that Riley came from a big family; he really seemed to have hit his stride since becoming a father.
“How’s the baby doing?” Julian asked. “I noticed it was pretty quiet in the house when we arrived.”
Riley’s grin spoke volumes. “He’s doing great. Savannah’s parents are flying in today and she took the kids to meet them at the airport. Her mother would be devastated to have to wait even an extra minute to see them.”
“Speaking of kids,” Dylan said, and Julian noted the slightly goofy grin on his face, “we just found out Paige is pregnant!” There was a flurry of congratulations, and Dylan’s smile grew. “Can you believe it? Me! I’m going to be a dad!”
“That is amazing news, Dylan,” Riley said. “How is Paige feeling?”
“She’s great. I mean seriously great. I was going to wait until Matt got here next week to tell you guys, but…I couldn’t,” he said with a laugh. “We knew as soon as we bought the house that we couldn’t wait to have kids and I’m so freaking excited it’s happening.”
“Good for you, man,” Julian said and he meant it. Dylan had gone through so many years of battling his demons that it was good not only to see him clean and sober, but also so happy. Then he glanced over at Riley and realized how his friend hadn’t gone through anything even remotely as dark as the rest of the band, but he’d overcome a great deal after his mother’s death so long ago, and here he was loving life too. And no doubt when he saw Matt he’d notice the same thing. So it was possible to find happiness after the lowest points in your life.
At least for other people.
Somehow, Julian didn’t think it was going to happen for him. He doubted he would ever be willing to open himself up to the possibility ever again.
&nbs
p; Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
“I’d say let’s make a toast,” Riley said with a small laugh, “but it feels weird to be doing it with bottled water.”
But that didn’t deter Julian. “Doesn’t matter what we’re drinking, the sentiment is there.” He raised his bottle of water and looked at Dylan. “Here’s to you and Paige and baby Anders. We can’t wait to see what kind of hell he puts you through!”
They all laughed and drank, and for a few minutes, the conversation was all about babies. Julian sat back and pretended to listen. It certainly wasn’t in the cards for him, and no matter how happy he was for his friends, he was surprised at the pang of sadness that hit him at that realization. He was happy for Dylan—and Riley and Matt—and the last thing he wanted to be was the downer of the group. Especially on a day like today with Dylan’s big news.
“So, where do we want to play next week when Matt gets in?” Riley asked. “Normally I’d suggest here, but with Savannah’s parents I think it would be too distracting.” He looked over at Dylan. “Is your space ready to use or should we book space someplace else?”
“I’ve been waiting for a chance to christen my studio,” Dylan said excitedly. “I’ve played in it alone a couple of times, but I’ve been dying to get you guys all together and jam. This is gonna be awesome!”
Julian’s heart pounded like the drums he usually played. Now. He had to tell them now and pretty much kill the mood. If he didn’t, it would just be that much harder next week.
“Listen…” he began hesitantly, “I’m not sure.”
“No,” Dylan said firmly. “No way. Uh-uh. This is in no way a professional commitment. This is just four friends getting together to jam. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Then Riley chimed in. “We’re not rushing you, Jules. When you’re ready to get back in the studio with us, you just say the word and we’re all there. But you just got home and you’ve got to work things out in your head. We get it.”
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