by Johnson Pete
I explained. ‘At school we can dress up as our favourite character. So I… I'm dressing up as you.’
‘Good choice,’ he replied.
All at once we heard a voice calling from Harry's bedroom. ‘Harry, Harry, where are you?’
‘That's Aunt Nora,’ I said. ‘I'd better go and explain what's happened. I won't be long.’ Then I had a thought. ‘By the way, can any other people see you apart from me?’
‘Of course they can,’ Brave Bill said indignantly. ‘I am a magic pirate, you know.’
I tore off to see Aunt Nora, the Brave Bill book under my arm.
‘Hi, Aunt Nora,’ I said. ‘Lovely day, isn't it?’
She looked at me anxiously. ‘I can't seem to find Harry.’
‘Oh, don't worry about him. He's just gone off on a pirate ship for the day.’
‘What!’ she shrieked. Then I remembered what Harry had written in his note.
‘He's with Brave Bill,’ I said.
At once Aunt Nora's face broke into a big smile. ‘Oh, that's all right.’ Then she became puzzled. ‘But who is Brave Bill?’ As soon as she said his name she was smiling again.
‘Look, there he is.’ I showed her the cover of my Brave Bill book. ‘And look, there's Harry.’
Aunt Nora gazed at the picture for a long time. ‘Well, I suppose it'll be a nice change for Harry. And the sea air will be good for him.’ Then she sniffed. ‘Whatever is that awful smell?’
‘We've got a guest, Aunt Nora. Brave Bill.’
Aunt Nora was grinning again.
‘He's just popped out of his story and popped in here. Would you like to say hello to him?’
‘Oh yes,’ she said eagerly. ‘Where is he?’
‘Right here,’ said Brave Bill, standing in the doorway. He bowed to Aunt Nora. ‘At your service, ma‘am.’
‘Oh my goodness,’ Aunt Nora cried. She took her glasses off, wiped them and put them on again. ‘I've never had a pirate visit me before,’ she exclaimed. Then she took a deep breath. ‘Now, er, Brave Bill.’ Her lips immediately began twitching. ‘I understand my nephew is spending the day on your boat.’
‘Ship,’ corrected Brave Bill.
‘Yes. Well, will he be safe there? He is rather young to be a pirate, even for a day, you know’
‘Have no fear, ma'am. Brave Bill's shipmates will look after him very well.’
Aunt Nora looked relieved. Then she smiled at Brave Bill. Jamie's friends are always welcome to drop in… And I expect you'd like some breakfast.’
‘I certainly would,’ said Brave Bill. ‘I've had nothing but stale bread and mincemeat for seventy pages.’
‘So how would bacon, egg, fried tomatoes and toast suit you?’
Brave Bill smacked his lips appreciatively. ‘Perfect.’
‘Would you mind doing something for me first?’ asked Aunt Nora.
‘Name it,’ Brave Bill replied.
‘Go and have a bath, please.’
Brave Bill looked shocked. ‘But there's no need, I had one last Christmas.’
‘Well, if you don't mind me saying so, I think it's time you had another one.’
‘Another one!’ Brave Bill exclaimed. ‘Great, shivering seaweed.’
‘I'll make it two eggs,’ Aunt Nora said temptingly.
Brave Bill looked at her, smacking his lips again. ‘It's a deal.’
‘Now, the bathroom is…’ Aunt Nora began.
‘I'll find it,’ Brave Bill said, marching off.
‘Aunt Nora, do you think Brave Bill could come to school with me today?’ I asked.
‘I should think so, dear.’
‘But I'll only tell Reema who he really is,’ I said.
‘Yes,’ Aunt Nora agreed. ‘We'll tell everyone else he's your friend William, from far away… and he's dressing up today as well.’
Then I went back into my bedroom and put on my Brave Bill costume while the real Brave Bill was splashing about and singing sea shanties in the bathroom. It was all so exciting.
A much cleaner and sweeter-smelling Brave Bill came rushing downstairs. Breakfast was waiting for him. He scoffed it down eagerly. ‘This is delicious,’ he said.
‘Would you like seconds?’ Aunt Nora wanted to know.
‘And thirds,’ he cried. ‘I wish I could take some of this food back for my shipmates.’
‘Well, perhaps I can make a few sandwiches for them,’ Aunt Nora replied. ‘How many of them are there?’
‘Forty-three,’ Brave Bill said.
‘Ah.’ Aunt Nora's voice fell away. ‘Well, I'll see what I can do. Now,’ she beamed at him, ‘it's all arranged, Brave Bill. You can go to school with Jamie.’
‘School.’ Brave Bill spat out the word.
‘I've told the school you're William, a friend of Jamie's. You will behave yourself, dear, won't you?’
Brave Bill grinned. ‘I always behave myself.’
5. Brave Bill Becomes Very Angry
Aunt Nora insisted on seeing me across the road to school even though Brave Bill was with me. But he didn't seem to mind. Instead, he sniffed the air appreciatively. ‘Strong breeze, bright sun, no clouds: a perfect day.’
I was really happy too. But there was something I had to tell him.
‘Brave Bill, although I'm dressed up as you, I'm not the least bit like you, really. Actually, I'm not brave at all and at school…’ I lowered my voice. ‘A couple of boys call me the Shrimp.’
‘They'd better not call you the Shrimp while I'm around,’ Brave Bill cried, ‘or I'll have them walking the plank.’
When we reached Reema's house, I said, ‘Brave Bill, you stand here, where she can't see you. Then you'll be a great surprise for her.’ So Brave Bill waited at the top of her road.
I rang Reema's doorbell. She answered the door, dressed as Bart Simpson. She'd even covered her face in yellow powder.
‘You look really good.’
‘So do you.’ Then she smiled sadly. ‘So your magic cape didn't work last night?’
‘Oh yes it did,’ I said. ‘But my brother overheard us and sneaked in first. He's on Brave Bill's pirate ship right now.’
‘What a rotten trick!’ Reema cried.
‘But I've got a surprise for you.’
‘For me?’
‘Yeah, there's someone waiting for you at the top of the road.’
She gave me a funny look. ‘Who?’
‘Go and see for yourself.’
Reema dashed out of her house, then let out a gasp of amazement as Brave Bill bowed to her.
‘It can't be.’
‘Oh yes it is,’ he said. ‘The one and only.’
‘But this is just incredible,’ she cried. ‘I've never met a real-life, made-up person before.’ She pulled out her little notebook. ‘Can I have your autograph, please?’
Brave Bill signed his name in big bold letters in Reema's book.
‘Thanks, I'll treasure this,’ she cried.
‘Treasure.’ Brave Bill's eye opened wide. ‘Oh, I see what you mean.’
On the way to school Reema and I kept sneaking glances at Brave Bill. We just couldn't believe he was walking to school with us.
We were walking through the gates when Elliot and Russell sprang out at us. They think they're tough. Today they were both dressed as characters from Thunderbirds.
‘Look at the Shrimp,’ Elliot shouted.
‘He doesn't look anything like Brave Bill,’ Russell sneered.
‘Oh yes he does,’ Reema cried. ‘And you'd better be nice to Jamie because today he's got –’
‘Reema,’ I hissed. I'd told her we must keep Brave Bill's true identity a secret.
‘Sorry,’ she whispered back.
‘Why should we be careful?’ Russell demanded. ‘What's the Shrimp going to do?’
He and Elliot started to laugh. Then Elliot pointed at Brave Bill. ‘And who's that?’
‘This is my friend, William, from far away, who's come to visit me,’ I replied.
; ‘Ahoy there, landlubbers,’ Brave Bill said.
‘I suppose you think that's funny,’ Elliot snarled. ‘You don't look anything like him anyway.’
Brave Bill started to go bright red.
‘And the Brave Bill story is really stupid,’ shouted Russell.
‘Total rubbish,’ agreed Elliot.
‘One more word,’ hissed Brave Bill, ‘and I'll chop you both up and eat you with chips.’
‘Oh yeah,’ cried Elliot. But he didn't say anything else because Brave Bill was glaring at him so furiously.
Russell didn't say another word either. Well, not until he was some distance from us. Then he called out, ‘I think it's stupid, you both coming as the same person. And why couldn't you come as someone decent?’
I saw Brave Bill's hand start to twitch. In another moment he'd have torn off his eyepatch. ‘Just ignore them,’ I said. ‘Please.’
‘No one speaks like that to me,’ Brave Bill declared.
‘They speak like that to Jamie every day,’ Reema said. ‘And he never stands up for himself.’
‘Why not?’ Brave Bill wanted to know, staring right at me.
I hung my head. ‘I told you why. I'm nothing like you. Now just forget it and come and meet our teacher, Mrs Davis.’
Mrs Davis was already in the classroom, cleaning the board. ‘Don't you three look splendid,’ she cried.
I introduced her to William.
‘Pleased to meet you, William,’ she said.
‘At your service, ma'am,’ Brave Bill replied, bowing very low.
Mrs Davis seemed a bit surprised by that. Then she asked Brave Bill where he lived.
‘My home is the seven seas, ma'am,’ he replied. ‘I sail them all year, except for the weeks when I am on my own secret island, of course.’
By now Mrs Davis was looking totally astonished. But then Reema explained,
‘He's pretending he's Brave Bill, the magic pirate.’
‘So I see,’ she murmured. ‘Well, I haven't read the Brave Bill book myself.’ Then she glanced down at Brave Bill's hands and saw all his rings. ‘My goodness!’ she exclaimed.
Brave Bill grinned. ‘It saves me carrying money.’
‘Well, we don't normally allow pupils to wear jewellery,’ Mrs Davis said. ‘But I don't suppose they're valuable.’
‘Not valuable,’ Brave Bill cried furiously. Then he muttered to me, ‘Your teacher's a fool.’
Luckily, the rest of the class began streaming in. And a number did come over and say how good our costumes were. They especially admired Brave Bill's hat.
Brave Bill sat between Reema and me, staring around him as if fascinated by what he saw.
That morning Mrs Davis told us to write a story about the character we were pretending to be. But there was to be no talking when we were writing. And when Mrs Davis says ‘no talking’, she means it.
Soon everyone was working in silence – except for Brave Bill.
First of all he didn't have a pen.
‘It's all right, I've got a spare one,’ I whispered.
But after a few minutes he looked across at me. ‘Can we swap? Your pen's blue and blue's my favourite colour.’
‘Yeah, sure.’
While we swapped pens Mrs Davis clicked her tongue with exasperation.
A few more minutes went by and Brave Bill still hadn't written a single word. Reema and I tried to help.
‘You must have had lots of adventures,’ Reema said.
‘So I have,’ Brave Bill replied. ‘And I write them all up in the ship's log at night. I sit on the deck staring up at all those millions of stars.’ His eye was as bright as a star now. ‘And I hear the waves lapping…’
‘Everyone is being very good,’ Mrs Davis said suddenly, ‘and doing their work and concentrating, except for our visitor.’ She stared at Brave Bill.
He glared back at her. Then he whispered to me, ‘Can we set sail now?’
Reema giggled and I replied, ‘We've got to stay here until ten past three.’
‘But I'm bored already,’ Brave Bill cried.
Mrs Davis put down the papers she was studying. ‘William, are you still talking?’
‘Yes, I am,’ he replied cheerfully.
‘Well, you're disturbing the whole class,’ she said. ‘You wouldn't behave like this at your school, would you?’
‘I don't go to school any more, ma'am,’ he replied. ‘I left when I was eight.’
‘I think you're being rather silly now,’ replied Mrs Davis.
She called Brave Bill silly! His face was bright red and he was hissing really loudly. He sounded like a kettle about to boil.
And then he pulled off his eyepatch.
6. The Incredible Shrinking Teacher
Underneath the eyepatch was an eye sizzling with rage. You've never seen such an angry eye. It twitched and rolled furiously.
And then one of those sparks of anger shot right out of
Brave Bill's eye. It was just like a tiny speck of very bright light. And no one noticed it spring out of his eye except Reema and me.
She gasped and I cried, ‘No, Brave Bill.’ But we were too late. The spark set off like an arrow towards Mrs Davis.
One moment Mrs Davis was sitting at her desk as usual. The next, her head was
just peeping over the top of it. She looked down at her chair. Her feet didn't even reach the ground now. Then she swung herself off the chair, gazed around and gave a squeal of horror. And I didn't blame her at all. It must have been a really nasty shock for her, shrinking like that.
Her clothes had shrunk as well, so they all still fitted her. Which was one good thing, I suppose.
The other good thing was, she might have been smaller still. In fact, Brave Bill was about to shorten her even more, but I stopped him by hissing, ‘No, don't, please.’
He frowned. His face was still scorching red but no more sparks flew out of his eye.
Mrs Davis tottered around her desk. She could nearly walk under it now. Then she faced the class. ‘Get on with your work,’ she squeaked. Even her voice had shrunk. Now she was looking very alarmed indeed.
Meanwhile, all the pupils were just staring at her. Their mouths had dropped open in astonishment. And their eyes were popping out of their sockets. But no one, not even Russell or Elliot, said a word. They were too shocked.
Then the head teacher swept in. He always walked very quickly. In fact, his walking was like most people's running. He spoke very quickly, too. ‘Ah, Mrs Davis, are these forms all completed? I do need them urgently.’
‘Yes, they are,’ Mrs Davis squeaked.
‘Excellent, excellent, and I would like…’ His voice trailed away, and for the first time he looked at Mrs Davis. He gazed down and down at her. Normally she was as tall as he was, but now she only came up to his stomach.
He jumped back from her in alarm. He removed his glasses and gave them a good clean. After this, he squinted down at her again. ‘You seem somewhat shorter today, Mrs Davis.’
‘Yes,’ she squealed.
‘Are you quite all right?’
‘I'm not sure,’ she quavered.
‘No, well, I'd better get someone.’ He walked, even more quickly than usual, to the door. ‘Don't worry now’
Then he was gone.
All at once Elliot began to laugh and then Russell called out, ‘Miss, did you know you're shrinking?’
‘Yes, yes, I had noticed,’ she replied in her tiny little voice.
‘Are you going to get any smaller?’ Russell asked.
‘I hope not.’ She gazed about her anxiously.
‘The incredible shrinking teacher,’ Russell yelled.
And then Russell and Elliot both jumped on to their desks and started singing and dancing.
‘Come down, come down at once.’ Mrs Davis was trying to shout, but she couldn't.
‘Sorry, can't hear you,’ Russell cried.
Then they laughed and jeered at her. Russell even started eating a packet o
f crisps. (And Mrs Davis normally goes mad if you eat even a crumb in her class.)
This was awful.
I turned to Brave Bill. ‘You can't leave Mrs Davis like that.’
‘Why not?’ he replied.
‘Well, for a start, she'll never be able to teach again,’ Reema cried.
‘She shouldn't have called me silly, should she?’ Brave Bill said huffily.
‘Oh, please change her back,’ Reema and I begged together.
Brave Bill frowned. ‘All right. But if she annoys me again, well – I'll turn her into a maggot next time.’
He stared at Mrs Davis. She was jumping about anxiously, as the noise in her classroom grew louder.
Reema and I waited impatiently for Mrs Davis to start getting taller again. But nothing happened.
Brave Bill scowled. ‘I'm still angry. That's what it is. I can only make people grow back when I'm not cross with them.’
‘Try and think of something happy then,’ Reema suggested. ‘Like when you're on your ship at night, looking up at all the stars.’
‘Good idea,’ said Brave Bill.
Immediately a large smile crossed his face. And at once Mrs Davis sprouted back up to her normal height.
The class gasped, while Mrs Davis looked dazed and confused.
‘Will she be all right?’ Reema wanted to know.
‘Of course she will. She may feel a bit dizzy for a while, but that's all. And she won't remember anything that's just happened either.’
Mrs Davis gazed around at the class. Then she spotted Russell and Elliot jumping about on their desks, munching crisps.
‘Whatever are you doing up there?’ she snapped. ‘And how dare you eat in my lesson. Get down at once.’
‘Yes, miss,’ they both said meekly. ‘Sorry, miss.’
Mrs Davis shook her head at them. Then she sat down, blinking her eyes as if she'd just got off a merry-go-round that had been going too fast.
Suddenly we heard quick footsteps approaching. The head teacher bounced in again. And this time he'd brought someone with him.
‘Ah, Mr Catton,’ exclaimed Mrs Davis.
‘I expect you've come for the forms.’ And she handed him a stack of forms.