by C. L. Brees
Alex shook his head in disbelief. The thoughts just kept running through his head as he turned right onto the onramp. Could Amy’s far-fetched, crazy notion actually be true? Was Heather just acting out because the attention wasn’t focused on her anymore? If Amy’s theory was correct, it was a really shitty thing to do to her family and friends, especially right after Kelli was just brutally executed. He also knew she was a smart girl, so he attempted to justify her reasoning. They continued down U.S. 36 towards Denver. The roads were slightly damp, which was making rush hour a disaster. He reached down towards the radio, turning it on.
Meanwhile, Amy was trying to cope with the silence in the car. In all of her years knowing Alex, he had rarely been so reserved. All she could discern was that there was something complex floating about in his head. She had worries herself, such as her parents, finding an affordable place in New York City to live in, and finding a prom dress quickly. She knew that eventually her parents would work their own mess out. As far as the prom dress was concerned, it too would find a way of coming to fruition. Her and Alex were technically adults now, and what better time to begin acting like one.
Sitting just to the left of Amy, Alex was battling with his own considerations going through his head. They were consuming him so much that finding the words to express to Amy was difficult, even for him. He was never someone to be at a loss for words. He felt troubled by the fact that his own mother attempted to convince him to not look into his past. He also continued worrying about Heather and her disappearance.
How can I not worry about her? Four murders in one day, and suddenly she’s missing. It all just doesn’t add up.
At eighteen years old he could feel the pressure of life surrounding him, shifting his serene life into a world of chaos. His strong willed personality was no match for the tough choices he was facing. Making those choices was nothing new for him, as he was always the one in control of any and all situations. The feeling of being the lone friend who had a hunch dismissed by almost everyone around him was causing him grief. He knew something sinister was brewing in Ridgewood Hills, and whatever it was he knew it was about to be uncovered.
As the car continued down U.S. 36 the silence and tension reached a breaking point.
Amy reached down at the radio and turned the volume to a more reasonable level, “I can’t take this silence anymore Alex. Are you sure that everything is alright? You are being so incommunicative that you’re starting to scare me just a little.”
Fading back to reality due to her tone, Alex turned towards Amy. “To be quite honest with you, I don’t know how I feel right now, Amy. There are a million different things racing through my head, and I’m slowly trying to put the pieces together.”
“I’ve known you for over eleven years now, and in that time I have never known you to be this quiet about anything. Whatever is going on, doesn’t it help you to talk things out, get alternative theories? You know you can tell me what’s on your mind. You don’t always have to process things alone. You try so hard to be in control of everything that for once I wish you’d let someone else take control.”
“As always, I appreciate you trying to help me out. Things are really out of control right now in all of our lives. Worst of all, there are four people dead, one is missing, and then this morning my mom tries to deter me from going to look into my father’s murder. I’m grateful that you agreed to come with me, even if it is just to be here for the ride. I don’t expect you to understand what I am thinking. Truth be told, I don’t even know myself what I’m thinking.”
The car slowed down as traffic became thicker. Amy looked away from Alex. “Well, try to not stress too much over this. We’ll get to the bottom of everything. Don’t you worry. Besides, we have happier things happening also, like Mike being back in your life and your friend Brandy coming for a visit tonight. We both know those are definitely things to smile about.”
“That’s true, and I know that Mike is doing everything he possibly can to help us out. And Brandy will be up in a few hours; we’re all going to dinner. You’re right, Amy, those are positive things to think about.”
“Let’s just hope that we find nothing and we can get back home. I really hate to bring Brandy into this entire mess.”
“We won’t bring her into this mess, Amy. We’re merely going to find out the facts and possibly a hint of truth, once and for all. And if we find any information that may help the police, more power to us.”
“We have to keep this quiet, though. I don’t think we should do anything that might draw unwanted attention to us. We don’t want to end up like Heather who’s missing in action, or worse like Kelli, who was killed and left in a park restroom.”
“I’ve got some bad news for you. We might have already drawn attention to ourselves. Look in the side mirror.”
“What are you talking about, Alex? How did we do that?”
“You see that white van behind us? It’s the same one that has been following us since we left Ridgewood Hills. I didn’t think much of it until you just said that. I figured they were also driving to Denver, but I’ve been doing the speed limit. I would definitely have thought by now they would have passed us up by now,” he revealed as she began to turn her head, “No! Don’t turn around and look at them. I don’t want them to know we’re onto them. Let’s just see how this plays out.”
“Alex, you have such a vivid imagination. Let’s not let this get out of hand, alright? If you’re correct, then we could be in serious danger, and now you’re sitting here talking about how we should go with the flow. Are you having a bi-polar moment?”
“Calm down, Amy. We’re only going to a library. Have you ever heard of anything bad happening in a library full of people?”
She scoffed at him. “I’ve never heard of anything happening in a library, but that isn’t the point here. If this car is following us, we should be worried, because that means they know where you live and they know who we are.”
“You know something – it is possible that Mike has some undercover officers watching us for our safety. However, I would think he would have shared that with me for my own peace of mind.”
“Well let’s hope for our sake that’s all it is,” she said as they reached Interstate 25.
After a fifty-minute drive, they finally arrived at the library in downtown Denver. Alex pulled his car into the first available spot that he located along Broadway. The two exited the car as Alex peered over his shoulder. The same white van had parked in a space about a half-block away. It was far enough away from where they stood that anyone could have missed it. However, Alex was too smart for his own good. He knew something wasn’t right about the situation, and now, armed with that knowledge, he would be more hyper-focused on his surroundings.
Brushing off the thought of the van, the two continued walking down the sidewalk towards the main entrance. That didn’t last too long, and Alex found himself once again glancing over his shoulder. He noticed that the two men hadn’t exited their vehicle, which he found strange. If they were following them, wouldn’t they be walking by now? Amy took notice of his strange behavior.
“Alex, why do you keep looking behind your shoulder?”
“I’m just making sure we’re not being followed. We either lost them, or they are somewhere waiting for us to come out.”
“Look, I’m not comfortable with all of this, Alex. Something just doesn’t feel right,” she divulged as they approached the help desk.
“Hello, how may I help you today?” the librarian asked.
“Yes, I am looking for your newspaper archives. Where might I find them?”
“You see these escalators to your right? Take those to the third floor reference section.”
“Thank you very much,” Amy blurted out just as Alex was about to speak.
The two walked towards the escalators. “Amy, you just need to calm down. Nothing is going to happen to us,” Alex assured her as they stepped onto the moving stairway upwards.
/> “I’m putting a lot of trust in you right now, Alex. I hope you’re right about all of this.”
Stepping off of the escalator on the third floor, they emerged into a large space filled with computers and row after row of bookcases. Glancing to his left, Alex saw an available computer and dashed towards it. He sat down at the workstation as Amy pulled an empty chair from the neighboring station. He shook the mouse from side to side to awaken the hibernating computer. Slowly, the monitor before him illuminated, and he clicked on the icon for the web browser. Amy turned her head and scanned the room. The high ceilings and quietness of the space they sat in added more worry to her already stressed mind.
“So, what exactly are we looking for, Alex?”
“I need to find information about my father’s murder. I’m almost certain there has to be a newspaper article on what happened. April—April, no, wait, I’m wrong, he was murdered in May, 1987.”
“Do you know the date? That will help your search if you can remember that date.”
“Well, I don’t remember very many details about his murder. I know I saw it happen, but I was five at the time. And let’s face it, my mother has been of no help to me whatsoever. Let’s just type his name in here.”
“Oh, that’s terrible, Alex. I had no idea that you actually witnessed his murder. What was his name?”
“Robert. Robert Jones. I know I had to have seen it because I get these strange flashbacks all the time. I’ve had haunting nightmares since it happened, and they only keep getting stronger as time goes on. Sometimes, I’m not sure if I’m recalling what happened or if my mind is just creating false memories. I’m such a mess when it comes to this.”
“Well, let’s search and see what comes up.”
They sat there as Alex began typing in search words. “FBI Agent” and “Colorado Springs” is where his search began. After a moment of processing the computer displayed a total of twenty-six related articles. Alex browsed through the first few articles, but one article jumped off the page at him. He began reading the headline, “FBI Agent Murdered after Testimony.”
A Colorado Springs FBI agent was murdered today at his residence in the Knob Hill neighborhood after his testimony helped put away one of the nation’s most hunted criminal masterminds. Agent Robert Stahl was returning home from the Alfred A. Arraj Federal Courthouse in Denver where he testified to the inner workings of the Mogilevich crime family. Agent Stahl leaves behind a five-year-old son and wife. Funeral services are still pending.
Confused, Amy turned to Alex, “Are you sure this is it?”
“I’m speechless, but it has to be it. Let’s examine the facts really quick. When this happened, I was five and we did live in the Knob Hill neighborhood; but my last name isn’t Stahl, it’s always been Jones,” he murmured as he clicked the print button.
“Well, could it be at all possible that maybe at one time you were Alex Stahl and you just don’t remember it?”
“Well, if I ever was Alex Stahl, I never knew it,” he said as he snatched the printed paper from the printer and stood up.
“Where are you going?”
“We’re done here. Now we’re heading to the hospital to see my mother. She has a little bit of explaining to do.”
Grabbing her jacket from the back of the chair, Amy followed Alex towards the door. “Wait up. I sure hope you know what you’re about to open up here Alex.”
“Oh, worry not. I know exactly what I am about to do.”
They raced towards the escalator towards the main floor. They reached the main entrance and exited through the automated door. Feeling nothing but deceit from his mother, his mind was only focused on one thing: who the hell was he after all of these years? The trek to the car was a quick one. Amy looked upwards towards the sky. The sun was now obscured behind the dark, growing, storm clouds. They began rolling in over the city once again for the second day in a row. There was a slight, eerie breeze which had begun to blow down the street, whipping her hair upon her face. The trees that lined the boulevard had begun to sway back and forth, gently causing the petals from the new blooms of spring to blow through the air and tumble to the ground.
Alex was so consumed with his thoughts that he didn’t notice that the white van had vanished. There was only one thing on his mind in that moment: confronting his mother and finding out once and for all what had really gone on in his past. Standing at the driver’s side of his BMW, he quickly opened the car door. He jumped in and before Amy could even buckle her seatbelt he sped off down Broadway. The force jerked Amy backwards in her seat. She looked at Alex with an expression of fear in her eyes.
As Alex shifted the car from second to third gear Amy begged, “Alex, slow down! I know you’re upset, but let’s not get us killed before we get there.”
“Amy, do you have any idea of how pissed and confused I am right now? This is exactly why my mother hasn’t been supportive over the years when I expressed interest in finding out the truth about what happened to my father. Stahl? Who am I? Better yet, who was my father and what really happened to him?”
“Alex, I’m sure there’s a valid explanation for all of this. We just need to take a deep breath and start to think rationally here. Maybe something really bad happened and your mother changed your last name for your protection? I mean, didn’t you say that your father was working undercover within the mafia? I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want those guys coming after me. So let’s not fly off the handle again—not until you get all of the facts from your mother. And quite honestly, I’m sure she will have all the answers.”
“Wait, what do you mean fly off the handle again?”
“Alex, we both know how you get when you’re upset. Besides, wouldn’t you remember having your name changed?”
“Amy, I was five years old when that happened. What do you remember about being five?”
“Now that I think about it, not much.”
“And secondly, since you brought it up, I’m pissed because we’re talking about more than half of my life—all of it a complete lie,” he angrily fumed.
“Alex! I just need to calm the hell down for a minute here. This side of your personality is really starting to alarm me. I know how you get when you’re angry. And you’re right—it’s not fair that you have to deal with this. But when you meet with your mother, I don’t want you to say anything that is going to be disruptive to your family. We both have seen what happens when you bring up past incidents. Let’s take, for example, what happened between you and Mike recently. You assumed that something was going on, when in fact it wasn’t. You almost lost the person you love over allegations that weren’t even true.”
“Alright, yes. You make good sense. I’ll just go there, stay calm, and get to the bottom of this,” he promised as his posture finally relaxed a little more.
He hung a left onto Colfax Avenue driving towards the east side of Denver. His mother worked at Presbyterian Hospital very close to downtown. He didn’t quite know what exactly he was going to say just yet. He couldn’t bring all of his thoughts into cohesiveness. The scenarios danced around his head, each one ended badly.
What am I going to say first? The opening line is the most crucial.
He wasn’t the type of guy to just calmly ask questions; when it involved deception, he tended to have a flair for the dramatic. This was a hospital, however. People were there trying to get better, and they were not at home where no one else was around to hear things. After a moment of calm, rational thinking, it came to him instantly. He knew he could just go in there and remain calm. There was no need to burn a bridge with his mother.
Maybe Amy’s right, after all. If I just ask, maybe she’ll be adult enough to just tell me the truth once and for all.
Unexpectedly, Amy broke his train of thought. She turned to him and asked, “And another thing Alex, why now, after all of these years, are you just realizing this? That is what is confusing me the most about this entire thing.”
; “To be honest with you, it wasn’t until recently that I began having these strange nightmares, these strange feelings inside. What happened yesterday at the 7-11 triggered something in my mind. It was almost like one of those ‘ah ha’ moments, you know? When you’re a kid, you just go on with your life, pretend that everything is fine, even if it’s not. So, now I’m an adult and therefore in order to move on with my life, I have to put the past to rest. The only way to do so is to know what really happened. When I know, I can be at peace with myself, once and for all.”
“That’s just strange, Alex. You didn’t remember seeing your father’s murder until a few months ago?” she asked.
“Yeah, that’s what is so odd. Could I have been so traumatized by his murder that I somehow locked all of those memories away? Then, those gunshots yesterday in the parking lot brought a flood of emotion to the surface. It’s hard to explain this to you, but I know that you’re my best-friend—who better to understand me than you?”
“I’m doing my best here, Alex. That is all I can promise you right now. Let’s just see what your mother says and go from there,” she concluded as they arrived at the hospital parking garage.
He pulled up to the gate, taking a ticket from the machine and placing it in the visor above his head. The gate swung upwards and he drove in, whipping around the tight corners. Amy sat there quietly in the passenger seat, pondering if she should once again ask him to take the curves easy or just let him get the anger out of his system before he went inside. She tightly closed her eyes and conceded to the fact that saying anything would just annoy him even more. As they ascended, they reached the sixth floor of the parking garage. Driving only a few feet, Alex slipped his car into the first spot he found. Realizing that the car had come to a quick halt, Amy opened her eyes and let go of the handle above her head. “I’m still alive, thank God,” she said, opening the door and falling to her knees upon the concrete.