by S. M. Butler
“Fine,” she acquiesced, secretly grateful for the reprieve. As she nodded and left the room, exhaustion hit her like a two by four. She’d been running on nothing for days, since her last mission with Nathan. Wearily, she made her way toward the exit, one foot stepping in front of the other like she was nothing more than an automated robot.
She shouldn’t be letting this affect her so. She wasn’t some giddy little teenager with a crush. She was an adult woman who couldn’t afford to let her emotions off their leash. She’d seen firsthand what love did to a person, how it controlled people, how it destroyed them.
She paused outside the security room, the dim blue glow of the monitors making her duck in. No one was there, but that wasn’t unusual. They generally didn’t come in here unless one of the cameras was malfunctioning. They all had remote access over one of the other hundred systems where Sierra, the artificial intelligence that had been loaded into the computer systems existed.
She liked this room though. It was peaceful, quiet. She could pull the loose parts of herself back together without anyone seeing her. She slid into the rolling computer chair, focusing on the camera installed in Axel’s office. He was there now, sitting at his desk. Maybe this was better than trying to be there in person with him all the time. He’d catch on to the change if she tried, and God knew, he probably didn’t want to be around her anyway. Only a couple of floors separated them, so if something happened, she could be there before anyone managed to get through the building security.
Axel had a bottle of tequila on the desk, the clear liquid untouched in the glass in his hand. Minutes passed them by as he swirled the liquid around in the glass but didn’t drink.
“What are you doing?” Jordan asked as he came into the room. She didn’t answer, just watched the hypnotic way he swirled the liquid around the glass.
Levi glanced at the screen and plopped into the other chair. “Damn. That looks like a man with problems.”
“Someone tried to kill him. Of course, he has problems,” Bea snapped. Levi’s eyebrow arched, much like Hardy’s had and she almost banged her head on the desk. Seriously, she was losing her damn mind.
“That’s not exactly what I was talking about,” Levi replied.
“I don’t understand him, Jordan.” Bea sighed. “He knows someone tried to kill him. He called Nathan for help, for fuck’s sake. But he’s still sitting somewhere that he’d be a target. That office is surrounded by glass. Someone could be pointing a gun at him right now.”
“That glass is bulletproof, love.”
“He doesn’t know that,” Bea said. The construction of that damn garage probably cost an arm and a leg, had every high-tech security system you could think of installed in it, and still somehow managed to look like a homey small-town mechanic’s shop.
Jordan shrugged. “Maybe not. Or maybe he’s trying to be a target.”
“You think?” Bea frowned. It wasn’t outside of the scope of Axel’s psych profile she’d read when she came to Jubilee for him to try something like that. “He’s trying to draw someone out?”
“Perhaps. He doesn’t know who’s after him. Thing is… even trying to be a target, that isn’t why he’s sitting there, drinking a bottle of tequila.”
“What do you mean?”
“That man has woman problems. Since you were with him all day…” Jordan replied, “what did you do to him?”
“Nothing,” she lied. Except let him kiss her, let him touch her. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Shit. She was losing it.
Jordan laughed. “Right.” He paused, his eyes locking on hers when she looked up at him. Knowing turquoise eyes stared back at her. “You know the garage has surveillance cameras, right?”
Of course, she knew that. There were cameras everywhere—
Anger bubbled up inside her. “You fucker. What did you do, play it on repeat for everyone else?”
“No. I happened to be sitting in here downloading the logs to Sierra when I saw it. Jack may have walked by while I was watching.” He threw up his hands in mock I-don’t-know fashion.
“Fuck.” She balanced her head on her hands while she rested her elbows on the desk, her face disappearing into her palms. The last thing she needed was commentary from her three-man peanut gallery.
“Nathan said do whatever it took to stay close to him. That could work.”
“I’m not fucking him for the mission,” she told him. “A man like that… They don’t have casual sex. He’d be in it for the partnership. The heartbreak once the mission is over would destroy him.”
“But not you?”
“Jordan…” she growled.
He put his hands up. “Okay, not you. I don’t get why it needs to be about the heart, really. Clearly, you need some good sex to relax a little.”
“Jordan!”
“But it’s whatever. No fucking the mechanic, I got it.” He leaned back in his seat. “Not sure Mrs. Parker got that memo, however.”
Bea’s eyes shot back to the screen, and sure enough, yep. That was Mrs. Mary Jo Parker inside Axel’s office. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulders in soft waves, the top teased to Texas-sized style. Her breasts were stuffed inside a blue blouse that plunged in front to a deep V, hugging her curves much more than Bea liked. Her capris were white, showing off thin, shapely calves tapering down to white strappy wedges.
“Damn, that woman is fucking gorgeous.” Jordan stared at the screen like a man that had been starved for sex for years instead of days. Jordan went out almost every night looking for a new lay. The only real reason the guys stayed away from Mrs. Parker was because she had a mouth, and none of them wanted to be the center of the town’s attention.
Bea shot him an annoyed glare and turned up the volume. She didn’t want to think about the effect Parker had on the men of Jubilee. Particularly when she worked with four of them.
“I hadn’t heard from you in a while, Axel,” Mrs. Parker was saying as she deliberately sashayed around the desk to where Axel was sitting. He turned the wheeled chair to face her, his face unable to mask the desire in his eyes. The carnal knowledge of her body. She almost hadn’t believed he would have slept with her before, but the look on his face was absolute confirmation. Something gnawed at her insides, something she couldn’t identify. Didn’t want to identify.
“I’ve been busy, Mary.”
“I’ve missed our talks.” Talks. Ha.
His throat worked up and down, but his eyes didn’t move from Mary Jo. Bea clenched both her fists to keep from wrecking the screen as Mrs. Parker straddled his legs and lowered herself onto his lap, running her palms over his chest. The woman grinned as her breasts pushed against Axel’s hard chest, wrinkling his t-shirt. Violence turned Bea’s vision red.
Bea hazarded a glance at Jordan, who was mesmerized by the scene. She punched him in the arm, and he grunted, holding his hand over where she’d struck him. “Ow. What the fuck, Bea?”
“You’re staring,” she replied. “Fucking perv.”
“It’s a video. You’re supposed to stare at it. It’s how videos work.”
“She’s old enough to be your mother.”
“Mm, I do like the idea of a MILF.”
She stared at him. No intelligent life there. “You know what I mean,” she grumbled, turning back to the screen.
Mrs. Parker leaned her body over Axel’s, and planted her mouth right on him, her long manicured nails sliding along his jaw and cheeks as she kissed him.
Whatever was holding her blood inside her body burst open, filling her with fury, crimson coating her vision. She fisted both her hands, to keep from pulling her gun or her knife. That woman was kissing Axel, and he was letting her do it.
“Bea?”
She turned toward Jordan, whose face had turned concerned. “I’m going to get some air.”
As she burst from the room, Levi laughed behind her. “Try not to stab the woman!”
8
Axel closed his eyes, feeling the heat of
Mary Jo’s arousal against his body. But it wasn’t her he was seeing but the soft, dark almond eyes and the delicately thin curves of a woman with a much smaller stature.
Fuck.
He cupped Mary Jo’s face and broke the kiss, gently pushing her away from him until she was forced to put her feet back on the ground as he stood up.
Her face turned red, sadness creeping into those crystal blue eyes. He slid his hands around hers and pulled them away from his body. “Mary Jo… I can’t.”
“Why not?” She pressed herself against him, the bulge of his cock against her stomach. Damn that fucker, he was getting hard just from the feel of a woman. “We enjoyed it last time. Quite a bit, I believe.”
“We also agreed after last time, it wasn’t a good idea.”
“Maybe we don’t agree anymore,” she said, sticking her lower lip out in defiance. “Maybe what we did was good enough for round two.”
He sighed. “I can’t, Mary Jo. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“You got a girl now?” She asked.
He shrugged. “Not really.”
“That’s not a no.”
“It’s complicated.” Nothing was ever simple with Bea. Maybe that was part of what he liked about her. Maybe it was what he didn’t like too.
“You like the scary girl.”
Axel blinked. “What?”
“The one you work with?” Mary Jo laughed. “She scares all the girls at the salon.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
Mary Jo shrugged. “She’s just so serious. Walks around like she’s about to kill someone.” She sighed and took his hands in hers. “Axel, you need someone to laugh with. Someone to have fun with. She’s not that person.”
Axel stared at Mary Jo’s face. This had to be more than something against Bea. Mary Jo’s body had slumped a little during the conversation, no longer as confident as when she was trying to get in his pants. “What’s wrong?”
Mary Jo smiled tightly. “I’m just worried about you, Axel.”
“Liar,” Axel whispered. “I know you better than that.”
She sighed. “Fine. It’s James.”
“Oh,” Axel breathed.
It was all making sense now. It was the anniversary of the night she lost her husband. It had only been a couple years for her, so no doubt she was still processing the loss of losing her partner of more than thirty years. The first time they’d been together had been a mistake, not because she announced it to the town afterwards, but because she’d been an emotional wreck and trying to forget her own pain.
He brought his hands up to her face, cupping her cheeks gently. But instead of kissing her lips, he kissed her forehead and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Mary Jo. I didn’t realize.”
“Help me forget it,” she whispered into his chest.
“We tried that once. Last year. Remember?”
“You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it.”
“No, I can’t.” He shook his head. “But I can’t be your Band-Aid every year, Mary Jo.” He pulled back enough to see her face. She wasn’t crying but it was plain on her face that she was close. “Go see him tomorrow. He’d like that.”
“My life has been so empty since he died,” she admitted. She smiled up at him. “At least I have good friends to fall back to.”
“Always,” he replied. “Do you need me to drive you home?”
The Parker ranch was five miles out of town. He couldn’t let her walk and the tremble of her lips made him doubt she could drive.
“Thanks, but I can handle that, at least. Besides, my car is here.” She smiled and back away from him, smoothing her clothes down as she raised her chin.
“If you need anything, Mary Jo…”
She laughed, but it was a bittersweet sound. “The one thing I wanted, you won’t provide. I wanted to forget, if only for a few hours.”
Axel remembered how that felt, to mourn those that had passed on. For years, all he could think of was the faces of his dead Marines. He’d have drunk himself into a stupor or fucked anything that moved if he’d though it would have made him forget. “It won’t help. Trust me.”
Mary Jo rolled her shoulders back. Her head lifted, the jut of her chin defiant and determined. “I hope your girl figures out what she’s got.”
His girl? It was hard to imagine Bea liking that label.
“See ya later, Axel,” she added as she left the room.
Axel turned back toward the desk, seeing the shot sitting on the surface, untouched. He growled and took the shot, downing the contents in one second and slammed the glass on the desk.
Damn it.
Why couldn’t he get Bea out of his head? Or the way her skin tasted, the way she’d kissed him? Or the way her eyes filled with fear when she pushed him away? It wasn’t disgust or anger. It was fear. What had happened to put that fear in her?
Maybe he had pushed too hard. But she’d never even given him an inkling that she’d want to be anything more than co-workers the last year she’d been in Jubilee. He had to admit, it had surprised him, and he’d gotten greedy.
It was the stress, he told himself. He was acting like an asshole because someone shot at him yesterday. He was still processing. Maybe what he needed was to get out of Jubilee for the day.
What was it Mary Jo said?
Axel, you need someone to laugh with. Someone to have fun with.
Maybe Bea needed the same thing. Shit, even Mary Jo called her the scary girl. He’d spent a long time mourning. He had no idea what Bea’s issue was, but maybe there was something in her past that had her mourning too. Maybe there was a reason for the kiss earlier.
The hairs on the back of his neck prickled with awareness. He swung around. Bea stood in the doorway, her chest heaving like she’d run miles to get there.
“Bea?”
“Shut up,” she commanded as she entered the room. She grabbed his t-shirt, fisting it in her delicate hands and then her lips were on his. He groaned against her softness as he slid his hands around her waist and pulled her close.
She wasn’t one to have idle hands though. She slid them up his shoulders and dug her fingernails into his shoulders, turning them so she could slide her ass onto the desk without stopping the kiss.
He pressed against her body, his hips between her legs. He let go of her and braced his weight on the desk as she unbuckled his belt. He tore himself from her, dragging in a ragged breath. “Bea, what are you doing?”
“We’re getting this out of our system right now,” she replied.
Two women in one night. What the fuck was in the water tonight?
Her nimble fingers deftly undid the belt and unzipped his pants. He grabbed her hands with a groan and held them still to get her attention. “Bea. What are you talking about?”
“You want me. And I can’t stop this feeling. So, let’s do it and get it over with.”
Axel frowned. She tried to pull her hands free, but he took hold of her wrists and planted her hands on the table, holding them down with his weight. “Is that what you think I want?”
“Isn’t it?”
“I’m not saying I don’t want to see you naked underneath me. Over me. Around me.” He shook his head. “But that’s not why I kissed you earlier.”
She pulled her hands free and pushed against his chest. He didn’t want to move from her, but he did with little resistance. She hopped off the desk.
“What are you afraid of, Bea?” He whispered.
Her eyes shot to his and narrowed. “I’m not afraid.”
“Yes, you are. Maybe you’re afraid that you’ll actually feel something with me. You keep trying to take emotion out of it, but it’s part of sex in general. There’s no way to separate it.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m not some fucking virgin, Axel. I know what sex is.” She swallowed. “I’m not going to let you manipulate me that way.”
“What?” Axel blinked. What in the ever-loving hell was she
talking about? Manipulate her? “I’m not trying to manipulate you.”
“Bullshit. That’s how it works. That’s how people get what they want.”
He stared at her. She showed no signs of joking. Her face was straight, completely humorless. He shook his head, disbelieving what he was hearing. “You’re serious?”
“Let’s just do it. Get it over with and we can go on like nothing ever happened.”
“I…” He ran his hand over his jaw and then crossed his arms. “I don’t want to go on like nothing happened.” He sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours. I’m not looking to manipulate you, control you, or anything like that. I just… I want to spend time with you. That’s all.”
She stared at him, her thin eyebrows pinching together above the bridge of her nose. God help her, she looked confused as fuck. Like anyone wanting to just be with her was a strange thing.
“Bea…” He stepped toward her carefully, then gently and slowly took her hands in his. He let out a long breath. “We don’t have to have sex at all, if you don’t want to. I just… I want to get to know you. Will you let me do that?”
Axel, you need someone to laugh with. Someone to have fun with.
Mary Jo’s words echoed in his head when Bea didn’t answer immediately. In fact, Bea looked about ready to bolt. He wished he did have some psychic ability to know what she was thinking.
“Bea, spend one day with me. Okay? If at the end, you didn’t have fun with me, if you didn’t enjoy your time with me… Then we will put this thing to bed and never think about it again.”
“You’d do that? Just… drop it?” Her confusion over the little things like this was kind of cute in a way, but it worried him. Why didn’t she understand the very basics of a relationship? Why did she think he was out to control or manipulate her with sex? What had happened in her life to scar her in such a way?