by Lexi Blake
“Excuse me?” Adam asked.
Jake put a hand on her elbow as though he knew what she had been planning on doing. “Don’t you dare get to your knees.”
She sighed. “It’s nothing serious. He’s just helping me with my form.”
“I don’t give a shit,” Jake admitted. “You’re not kneeling for him. You’re not wearing his collar.”
Master Storm laughed but it was a bitter little huff. “Well, now I understand what’s happening, dear. I was a bit upset at the tone of our last two exchanges. I felt the need to come out and speak to you about it in person.”
She was at a loss. Their last two exchanges had consisted of a phone conversation and a very pretentious lunch at a Japanese restaurant where she’d been forced to sit with her legs crossed for hours. When she’d tried to stretch, he’d explained that sometimes discomfort was good for the soul. It had seemed to her that discomfort just sucked. But she hadn’t said it.
“Did I do something wrong?” Serena asked. The panic that normally accompanied that question wasn’t there this time. She wasn’t terrified she’d made someone mad or done something awkward. She was merely curious. Days spent with Jake and Adam seemed to have had an effect. She’d learned rapidly she could be awkward around them and they just laughed it off. Well, Adam laughed, and Jake’s normally stern face would turn up in a little uptick that let her know he was amused.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Adam insisted.
Jake sat down on her couch and tugged her down beside him.
Master Storm’s brows rose over his gray eyes. “I thought you said he was your employee, dear.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t call him that. It makes him mad.”
“She isn’t paying me. Her agent is. She’s my trial and tribulation. Little brat.”
Somehow when Jake said it she got a warm, gooshy feeling inside. Like he was teasing her with affection. “I am so easy.”
Jake shook his head. “She’s not easy. Do you know what I had to do yesterday? I had to take her and her friends to lunch. Sounds great, huh? Easy. Eat a little Mexican food. Relax. Those three spent the whole time talking about how to murder their characters. And then they talked about three-ways. And four-ways. And five-ways. After three margaritas, I’m pretty sure they talked about how to work a goat in.”
Serena giggled. “You thought it was going to be some boring discussion of the craft didn’t you?”
Jake’s head shook. “All I know is you ran off like five families, and I had to run off a whole table of asshole men who sat listening to you.”
Adam held a hand out, giving his partner a high-five. “They were wimps. All we had to do was flash a piece and they took off.”
Serena felt her jaw drop. “You showed those men at the table beside us your guns?”
Jake shrugged, obviously comfortable with his inner caveman. “It did the trick.” He turned to Master Storm. “Would you like to see my gun?”
“I don’t need a gun,” Master Storm replied. “My body is a weapon.”
Serena could feel the whole room go on testosterone overload. If she didn’t handle this, and quickly, Master Storm was going to get a demonstration of what the Green Berets taught their men. “I’m afraid I’m confused, Sir. I was under the impression you were happy with my progress in our last talk.”
She’d thought she would get an invitation to a demonstration. She’d been looking forward to it, and then her world had cracked open.
“I was referring to the rather bratty tone of your last two e-mails. I asked you if you would like to come to my house to play this weekend, and I was told to play with myself, though you used rougher terms. I’m rather wondering if that was you at all, dear.”
She turned to Adam.
“I actually told him to fuck himself. And that if he needed an ass to paddle, he should look in the mirror.” He sat back without a single look of remorse on his face.
She took a long breath and nodded back at Master Storm. “Obviously I didn’t send that e-mail. I had asked Adam to send me any mail that needed my direct attention.”
“And I was to handle anything that didn’t,” Adam explained. “I did exactly what you wanted me to. I handled the unimportant things.”
They would have to have a talk about that later, but for now she simply sent him her most stern look. It seemed to bounce right off him. He winked at her.
“I am so sorry, Sir. I apologize for any discourtesy.” Just because Adam had decided to act like an ass didn’t mean she couldn’t save the relationship. After Adam and Jake were gone, she doubted they would have the time to answer her questions. She would be alone in her fictional world, and she would need Master Storm. Jake and Adam might not see it that way, but she knew how it would work. They were interested because she was the only woman available. They were being paid to be with her twenty-four seven. When they didn’t have to be, they would find a woman in their league, and she would be out in the cold.
Master Storm finally sat down. He seemed to ignore the men in the room, his eyes focusing on her. “I’m glad to hear that, little one. I have to admit I was more hurt by that e-mail than I would have expected to be.”
Actually, that didn’t help. One of the things she’d liked about Storm was the fact that he’d seemed relatively unmoved by her. The last thing she needed was to get involved with someone she didn’t even like. She’d chosen Storm because she wouldn’t get emotionally involved. And yet she couldn’t quite say it to him.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t send it, and obviously Adam and I will be having a conversation.”
Jake sat forward. “Add me in, baby, because I made him put in the part about this guy being a complete ass. You do know his real name is Austin Stinchfield, right? I would have changed my name, too, dude. Though I would have picked something other than Storm.”
Storm’s eyes narrowed. “Serena, dear, one of the things about our lifestyle is we must decide to ignore those who don’t understand us. And we must make hard decisions.” He leaned forward. “Serena, you don’t have to do this. I have a dojo. I teach several members of the Dallas Police Department. I can protect you. You don’t have to put up with this. As a matter of fact, it would be best if you would get a bag and simply come back to my place.”
Jake sat forward. “She’s not going anywhere. This is a serious threat.”
Jake’s jaw had tightened, forming a dangerous line. Serena put a hand on his knee, silently begging him to let her handle this. They had already damaged her relationship with Master Storm.
“I thank you for the offer, Sir,” she began politely.
Master Storm smiled, a deeply self-satisfied expression. “Good. Because I also wanted to discuss your books with you.”
“I told you,” Jake began, but Adam stopped him. They seemed to have one of those silent conversations she usually found fascinating. After a moment, Jake sat back. “Please feel free to have the discussion now.”
Master Storm frowned. “I think this is best done privately. I don’t like to humiliate my submissives unless I am forced to.”
Humiliate? She felt her gut tighten. She didn’t like the sound of that. Master Storm had told her he would read her books. He’d shown an interest, and she’d thought that perhaps she could change his mind. After all, he was in the lifestyle. She was promoting the lifestyle. She knew that what she wrote was romance and not pure erotica, but surely he would see the value in it. “I’d like to hear your opinion.”
She didn’t want to, but it was better to know.
Master Storm frowned and settled back into the loveseat. “Fine. If you insist. One of the reasons I’ve decided to take on your training is so I can mold your writing career. You have some talent, but you are woefully wrong about most aspects of the lifestyle. There is no such thing as ménage with any permanency in BDSM.”
“Oh, god, he’s a ‘one-true-wayer,’” Jake said on a groan.
Storm ignored him. “You place the emphasis on t
“Really?” Yep. There it was. Humiliation. Adam’s hand crept out, seeking hers, but she ignored it. He’d humiliated her, too.
Storm sighed. “It’s all right, little one. You simply don’t understand. You’re taking a child’s view of the world.”
Serena took a deep breath, trying to banish those hated tears that had gathered again. “So you intend to take control of how I do my job?”
The Dom’s face was a bland blank. “Yes, dear, that’s what a Dom does. I will be in control of your work and your daily life. I already have a schedule planned for you. Your day will be highly regimented. I noticed that you seem a bit disorganized. That will stop. I will inspect your room, the house, and your work station on a daily basis. If they are not up to my standards, you will be punished in whatever manner I see fit. I have a whole contract already written out. I will need you to sign it, and then we can begin our work.”
“You wrote the contract without her input?” Adam asked.
“It’s obvious to me neither of you understands the relationship between a Dominant and his submissive. The submissive will either sign the contract or refuse. I am not going to negotiate.”
“Which is precisely why Ian Taggart refused you a membership to Club Sanctum.” Jake stared straight at the Dom. “I pulled your records when I discovered you were involved with my charge. Sanctum’s counselor wouldn’t clear you. She believed you would potentially abuse the power you took over your subs. I won’t allow Serena to go anywhere with you. You should leave now.”
Gray eyes narrowed and Storm’s mouth turned down in a mulish frown. “I believe that is up to Serena.”
“Convenient,” Adam murmured. “She doesn’t have any say until you need her to agree with you.”
Storm leaned forward. “Those men at Sanctum are dabblers, Serena. They just play at D/s. You need to come with me. I can show you the way. I can free you.”
By taking over her life. Maybe she didn’t understand D/s at all. It had seemed so perfect, but Master Storm’s way just seemed like a selfish thing. It wasn’t what she’d wanted at all. She’d wanted someone who looked out for her. It seemed like Storm merely wanted a slave. Maybe that worked for some, and she wouldn’t deny them their right to enjoy a lifestyle that worked, but once again it seemed there was no place for her.
Her ex-husband thought she was a pervert. The Master didn’t think she was submissive enough. She was never right, and she should just get that through her thick skull. She’d seen BDSM as a place she might be able to fit in, but it was like everything else, she was either too much or not enough.
She stood. “Master Storm, I appreciate all of your patience with me, but I am going to decline to sign a contract with you. I think you’re right. BDSM isn’t for me. I will attempt to stick to writing ménage from now on. I wouldn’t want to embarrass the community.”
He frowned. “But I can teach you, Serena.”
She shook her head and walked to the door. She just wanted to get it all over with. “I don’t think so. Thank you, though.”
He stood and stalked over to her. “I guess I really was right about you. You don’t have what it takes to be my submissive. Good evening.”
He walked off and with him many of her hopes. She hadn’t hoped for him, but he represented what she had hoped for—a place to belong. A little community that accepted her. She watched him walk away. She hadn’t fit into Doyle’s academic world. She’d thought she would fit in with other writers, but it seemed she was either not successful enough or far too successful, depending on the view. Even among erotic romance writers she struggled to find a place. And now this door had closed.
She knew what to do. Sink into her work. The world inside her head was the only place that would ever accept her as she was. She should simply acknowledge and accept it and be done with trying to fit in on the outside. She closed the door and turned around.
Adam and Jake were both standing, waiting.
She sighed. Now she had to deal with them. “I think I’m going to go and work for a while.”
She definitely needed to take a long step back from everything. Especially from them. They had come in and turned her world upside down, but they would leave at the end of this. They would go back to their world where they fit in and had a whole team who cared about them. She would be alone, and she shouldn’t come to depend on them.
“Serena, I should have told you he’d written,” Adam said, his voice tentative. “I’m afraid I didn’t think he was good for you so I told him off. I was in the wrong.”
“No, you weren’t,” Jake replied. “He is wrong for her. We just handled it the wrong way.”
It didn’t matter. She knew now. “It’s fine. Like I said, I need to get some work done.”
Adam crossed his arms over his chest, considering her. “You don’t have much time. You’ve met your word count for the day. Why don’t you go and take a shower? We’re supposed to be at Sanctum in a couple of hours. Let Jake and me take you out to dinner before we show you around the club.”
Wow. She was so not going there. “I changed my mind. I want to stay in. Please thank Mr. Taggart for inviting me, but I’ll stay out of things I don’t understand from now on.”
She would focus on the ménage books. They were just her fantasy. She wouldn’t be offending anyone by writing them. Well, no one who wasn’t already offended.
“Stop.” Jake’s voice had gone completely still.
“What do you want from me, Jacob?” Serena asked, feeling past tired. She’d gotten too used to them. Pulling away was going to be hard. Having them around had made her realize just how lonely she’d been.
Adam got into her space. He seemed to like to do that. “We want you to yell at us. We fucked up. Me more than Jake.”
“No, I high-fived you as you sent the e-mail off.” Jake seemed determined to present a united front. “Serena, you have to see Master Storm was wrong for you. There is a faction of the lifestyle that truly believes their way is the only way and the rest of us are posers. They treat it almost like a religion when it isn’t. It should be far more flexible. If you got involved with a man like that, he would have you believing there was only one way for a sub to get into that great dungeon in the sky.”
And they thought she was an idiot. Nice. “I wouldn’t have signed a contract with him. I would have walked away the minute he started to try to tell me what to write. I was curious, Jacob, not a doormat.”
Though she probably seemed that way sometimes.
“Excellent,” Adam said, taking her hand. “Then you can’t be too mad at us. Sweetheart, you need someone to organize your life. You need someone to take care of you, not to try to turn your life into taking care of him. That works for some people, but it wouldn’t for you. BDSM is about having choices and figuring out what works for a couple…or a trio. Don’t let him run you off.”
“I think I should just lay low until this whole stalker thing dies down.”
Jake moved in front of the door that led to the back, an obvious road block. “He got to you. Don’t let him spoil our night. Don’t let him send you back into your shell.”
She took a deep breath. “It’s all right. I was just disappointed to find out what a douche bag he was. He was my only real contact.”
Adam waved a hand. “Hello.” He pointed at Jacob. “Real live certified Dom standing right there. I wouldn’t let Ian bark at me for three weeks, so I don’t have my shiny piece of paper, but I know a thing or two. And I think I’ve been doing a damn fine job of taking care of you. I’ve been topping you for days, and you didn’t even notice.”
That was ridiculous. Except it wasn’t. She thought about the last several days. Adam had quietly taken over much of the day-to-day details of her life. He’d done it with a smile, pushing her to concentrate on her work. He’d started answering her e-mails, making her appointments, even answering her phone calls. He’d taken over, and she’d just been happy to not have to do all those things. It had felt natural. Adam had taken over the minutia, and Jake made sure no one got close.
They were topping her. And she kind of liked it. It had made her life easier, and she’d felt safe and cared for.
“See,” Adam said as though he could read her mind. “It can work for you, but it has to be gentler than what Master Douchewad wants from you. That can work, too. But not on you.”
She shook her head. “But I’m not doing anything for the two of you.”
“Aren’t you? Jake had a headache yesterday. What did you do?” Adam asked.
She’d noticed that he looked stressed. She hadn’t really understood that he’d had a headache. She’d just followed her instincts. She rubbed his scalp until he’d practically melted into his chair. She’d been a bit surprised and deeply pleased that he’d allowed the contact.
“You made me feel better,” Jake said. “You did what you could to take care of me. Hell, Serena, you went into the guest bedroom and pulled out mine and Adam’s dirty clothes. You didn’t have to wash them. We would have gotten them.”
“I was doing a load anyway.” She said the words, but they felt a little stubborn. At the time, she’d wanted to do something for them. She’d wanted to help them the way they were helping her. Maybe that was what a relationship really was.
“Come with us tonight,” Adam cajoled, his hand on her arm. “Let us show you that this lifestyle, like anything else, is what you make it.”
Jake stared down at her, not touching her at all, but she still felt his heat. Adam’s hand caressed her.
She could take the chance. She didn’t have much to lose. She might learn a little something. Despite the fact that she’d told Storm that she would concentrate on ménage, she was still thinking about the fact that her latest book had BDSM in it. And apparently Ian Taggart was the ultimate authority in the DFW area. She’d heard of Sanctum. And she’d heard that they only admitted people who passed strict tests. She was being given a true opportunity to research. If she could keep herself separate, it could work in her favor.
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