by Lexi Blake
He collapsed on top of her, sinking in, his mouth nuzzling her neck. “Now you’ve done it, baby. Now you’re all mine.”
She felt a smile start to cross her face, but then she caught sight of a man standing by the door. She screamed a little, her heart thumping in her chest.
“Sorry,” Adam said, his face a polite blank. “I didn’t think anyone could sneak up on Jake. He was always the one with the best hearing in our unit. Guess he was involved in other things. I finished up early. The rest of the programs can run overnight, and we should have an answer in the morning. I thought you two would want an update.”
Jake sat up, his chest still heaving. “Adam, I am so sorry. I lost control.”
“You never lose control, Jake. I know that about you,” Adam replied.
Serena pulled at the sheet, covering herself up. She was suddenly very aware that Adam had watched them. At least he’d watched the last part. He’d been watching when she’d screamed out in Jake’s arms. But wasn’t that what he’d wanted? “I don’t understand what’s wrong.”
Adam shook his head. “Not a thing, Serena. It’s fine. I’m sure you’ll be really happy with Jake.”
“What?” Confusion set in. She’d been sure this was what Adam had wanted. He’d been pushing her together with Jake for a week. “I don’t understand.”
Adam smiled, but it was a bitter thing. “Oh, but I do, sweetheart. Good luck with him. He can be hard to handle. I’ll let Liam know that he can take my place. Or hell, you can handle the whole op since you’re the big bad Dom.”
“Adam, calm down.” Jake practically growled.
“You don’t fucking top me, Jake. Screw you. Ten fucking years and this is how it ends.” He opened the door and slammed it, the crash clanging through the room with a thud of finality.
“Why is he so mad?” All of the joy that had come with making love to Jake had fled. She was right back to feeling vulnerable.
“Because he’s an asshole who wanted to be first. Get dressed, Serena. We have to find him, and you’re going to have to convince him you still want him. He took everything we said wrong. Goddamn it. This is my fault. I knew I should have waited.” He stalked to the bathroom and closed the door.
Serena looked at it and wondered if both doors hadn’t just closed forever.
Chapter Twelve
Jake stalked down the hallway after Adam. He couldn’t have gotten too far.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
What the hell had he been thinking? He hadn’t been thinking at all. He and Adam had talked about this. Begin as you mean to go. That was their motto. Start together and let the woman bond to both of them. But Jake hadn’t been thinking about that. He’d been focused on Serena. He’d gripped her hand, a little afraid that if he let go, she might walk away. The happiness he’d seen in her eyes was gone, replaced with utter uncertainty.
Yes, Jake knew he was at fault. And he was still seriously considering beating the shit out of Adam when he found him.
“Hey, was I not supposed to send Adam back?” Glen asked. He’d been a monitor at Sanctum since Ian had opened the club. He knew all about Adam and Jake’s proclivities. Jake couldn’t blame him. It was what they did. They shared women.
“Don’t worry about it. Which way did he go?”
Glen pointed toward the bar. Of course. Adam would head straight for the Scotch or the vodka or whatever the hell else was trendy this week. He was being an asshole.
“Maybe I should go change.” Serena struggled to keep up with him.
He slowed down. Adam wasn’t the only one making an ass of himself. Serena was unsure and scared, and she’d just had her first sex in years and what had her Dom done? Her Dom had shoved her into her clothes and made her race through the club.
He groaned and pulled her close. “Serena, baby, I’m sorry.”
Her head shook against his chest. “It’s my fault. You said we shouldn’t do anything.”
“No. It was bound to happen. And Adam will come around. He’s just pissed, and he’s pissed at me.” He better be pissed at me. If Adam was mad at Serena, then they really would fight. He kissed her forehead. They should still be in bed. He should be cuddling her close. Hell, Adam should have tossed off his clothes and climbed in with them.
“I don’t know about that,” she said sadly. “I screw up a lot.”
He tilted her head up. “No. Not this time. You were perfect, baby. Don’t you forget that. And you’re mine. Mine and Adam’s. Don’t forget that, either. Go and get dressed, and we’ll take you home. I gotta warn you. He’s going to want equal time.”
Adam would most likely take more than equal time, but Jake was willing to give it. He’d fucked up. And he’d do just about anything to see Serena smile again.
She shook her head. “He doesn’t seem interested now. It doesn’t matter. I would really like to head home. I’m tired.”
He held his temper in check. It wasn’t directed at her. He kissed her again. “Serena, I meant what I said before. We’re together now. I won’t allow you to pull away because it got a little scary. Now go and change. We’ll all talk when we get home.”
She nodded, but there didn’t seem to be a lot of hope in her eyes. She walked into the locker room. Jake turned and found his quarry. Adam was standing in the bar, talking to Liam. He was probably telling Liam how he could take over his assignment now that Jake had stolen the girl. Drama queen. Goddamn it.
Adam didn’t even look up as Jake walked into the bar area.
“So you’ll need to coordinate with Jake,” Adam was saying.
“You, fucker. Do you have any idea what you just did to her?” He knew he should start with apologies, but that sad look on her face was too fresh in his mind. She was in the locker room all alone because Adam hadn’t been able to hold his own fucking feelings in.
Adam turned his face up. “I certainly know what you just did to her. Let’s see. You fucked her. You claimed her. I believe your words were something like ‘You’re mine. All fucking mine.’”
Liam hopped off his barstool. “I am not getting in the middle of this. You two need to work this out. And Adam, I ain’t taking your place. Not until Ian tells me to. This is a fucking job. This ain’t about your love life. She’s still in some sort of danger. Put your dick aside. You’re getting paid to do a job. This is exactly why Ian told you to stay away from her.”
He started to walk away. Jake got ready to lay into Adam, but Liam turned back.
“You two are supposed to be fucking partners. Fucking partners don’t split because one partner did something stupid. You two better get your shit together. You have no idea what it’s like to be alone. No fucking idea.” Liam didn’t wait for a reply. He stalked away.
Alone. Jake had been alone most of his life, even among his family. No one had understood him. He’d been that trashy Dean kid who hadn’t lived in anything nicer than an apartment or Army barracks until he’d become Adam’s roommate. Hell, a good portion of his life had been spent in communes or living in his dad’s truck because his parents wanted to find nature or some shit. It might have been nice if his parents had paid a moment’s attention to him, but they were far too busy finding themselves to deal with their kids.
Adam had taught him most of what he knew about moving through society. Adam had been his touchstone. Adam had been the first time he’d truly connected with another human being. He didn’t want to sleep with Adam, but he cared about him deeply. He couldn’t imagine his life without Adam. But now he couldn’t imagine it without Serena, either.
“I am sorry, Adam.”
“You knew how I felt about her.” Adam sat back in his chair. He sounded tired.
“Yes.” He probably wouldn’t have moved forward if he hadn’t known how Adam felt about her. It wouldn’t have worked if Adam hadn’t wanted her, too. “You’ve made it clear. And you’ve pushed me into her arms.”
Adam’s eyes narrowed. “And you damn well knew I should have been there. You want the upper
Jake growled. “What fucking upper hand? You’re the one who likes to play little mind games, Adam. I don’t do that. I wanted her. She was naked. End of story. You’re the one who pushed me to initiate her into D/s.”
“That’s your excuse?” Adam huffed the question out. “You were initiating her? I get put on the fucking back burner because I don’t walk around with a crop in my hand twenty-four seven?”
Jake leaned over, getting into Adam’s space. “She writes BDSM. What did you think would happen?”
Adam’s eyes came up, narrowing. “She also writes ménage. I rather thought I would be invited to that fucking party. I didn’t realize that Jacob Dean would take the woman I fell for as his sub. Ten fucking years, Jake. How many women have I been serious about? And you claim the one who might have worked. Ten years. Ten fucking wasted years.”
Jake couldn’t help it. He rolled his eyes. “You set this up. You pushed us together. Fuck, man, you dressed her yourself. I am sorry that I didn’t wait, but it just happened, and guess what, I’m crazy about her.”
“Yeah. I got that. And she’s yours. I fucking got that, too.”
“It was the heat of the moment. Goddamn it, Adam. You’re acting like a child.”
Adam threw up his hands. “Well, I guess that’s just my fucking place, isn’t it? It’s my place to be the dumbass fuck up. It’s my place to hang on to you and hope that the woman wants to lower herself to the fucking beta guy. You’re in charge. I’m the metro douchebag who hangs on to your alpha-male coattails.”
God, Adam’s father had done a number on him. “She’s crazy about you. If you’d been the one walking her around tonight, you would have been the one in bed with her.”
He shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t have. I would have waited for you. I could have had her in the elevator, and I didn’t.”
And that was the heart of the matter. Adam would have waited. “I’m sorry. I can’t say more than that. But you set her back tonight. I had her in a good place. If you had taken two seconds to think about her, you would have talked this out. Now her only sexual experience in years is coated in guilt.”
He went ashen. “I wasn’t mad at her. I was mad at you.”
“She doesn’t get that. Her husband had her thinking she fucked everything up, and you reinforced that tonight.”
Adam stopped, that brilliant mind of his finally working through the problem. “But she said she was yours. I heard it. I know what I saw. I don’t blame her. I didn’t really get a chance, did I?”
He was like a two-year-old when he got this way. “No. You didn’t take your chance. Did it occur to you to jump in bed with us?”
“No. It didn’t.” Adam took a long drink of the Scotch in front of him. “I understand rules and boundaries. When your best friend’s girl tells him she belongs to him and only him, a decent man steps aside.”
“Really? Have you told that to Sean?” Adam had spent plenty of time chasing after Grace even after she’d gotten together with Sean.
“That was different.”
“Sure, it was different. That was Grace. This is Serena.”
“You were in love with Grace?” A familiar voice broke through their argument.
Jake closed his eyes and wished he hadn’t brought that up at all. Fuck. Serena had spoken the words. And she’d gotten ready far faster than he would have given her credit for. He turned and saw she was back in her frumpy clothes, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. She’d dragged her armor back on, and like a knight who didn’t procrastinate, she’d come out for battle.
Adam flushed. “I was attracted to her. I was going through kind of a crappy time. I made a mistake. She’s in love with Sean. She always was. She didn’t want me.”
Serena took a moment. Jake could see her mind working, and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t like what she was thinking. “Grace is very beautiful. I can see where you would be interested. Can we go home now, Jake? Or do we have to wait for Liam?”
Jake gritted his teeth. Serena was the freaking author. Adam was the charming one. Neither one of them had a problem with communication. So why the fuck were they relying on him? He didn’t even like to talk. He liked being the silent type because he never really had anything to say, but now the two people who meant the most to him were clamming up.
The two people. Serena had become important, maybe even necessary. Adam had fucking done this to him, and he wasn’t about to let Adam screw this up now. If Jake let Serena walk away, it could be days before they hashed this out. Jake didn’t want to wait days. He looked down at his sub. She was the weak link. She was the one behaving unlike herself.
“Ask him. You don’t have any trouble asking people the weirdest most awkward questions that can pop out of your mouth. Ask him. Be brave. Be Serena.”
She stopped, her eyes widening. “Be Serena? That’s rich, Jake. Serena is a little mouse.”
Jake scrubbed a hand through his hair. “No, she isn’t. She’s a fighter. She’s a woman who didn’t quit because her jerk of a husband told her to. She’s a woman who fights for her damn place. She’s a woman who doesn’t stop looking for what she needs just because she finds some douchebags along the way. Damn it, Serena, I’m not cut out for this shit. I don’t know how to argue. I would rather just punch things, but I’m asking you to be the woman I’ve spent days getting to know. That woman wouldn’t let him off the hook. That woman wouldn’t walk away. That woman would make him explain himself.”
Adam stared at him. “That’s the most words I’ve ever heard you use at one time.”
Serena smiled up at him like he was a toddler who’d just done something good. “You are very good with words, Jacob.” She went on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss, then turned to Adam. Jake was a little happy to see Adam had earned a frown. “Explain yourself, Adam.”
Adam’s face turned mulishly stubborn. “I don’t think there’s all that much to explain.”
“I think there is,” Serena shot back. “You put me in this position. You’re the one who talked endlessly about how you and Jake are trying to find one woman to share. You knew how I would feel about that. Were you lying? Were you just playing up to my fantasies? Did you find out I wrote about ménage and decide it was a way to control me?”
Adam’s brows came together. “No. That’s ridiculous, Serena. It’s the truth. Jake and I have shared women for years. We really are looking for something permanent.”
Serena’s foot tapped against the floor. It was something she seemed to do when she got impatient. “Then why the big dramatic moment? Did you not expect me to sleep with Jacob? Does a ménage work differently in your world?”
Adam was beginning to look a little cornered. “Jacob and I agreed that we would work together.”
“Fine. We screwed up. I wasn’t given a schedule. You’re good at that, Adam. Why don’t you shoot me off a schedule of who I’m supposed to screw and when and in what position? That way I’ll know.” She turned on her heels and started to walk off. “I’m going home now. You two can hash this out. I can see plainly it has nothing to do with me.”
Adam stared after her. “What the fuck just happened?”
Jake smiled. “I think the sub just took you down.” He looked at his partner. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it felt right to be with her. I wasn’t trying to cut you out. She wouldn’t let me. I was in Dom space. That doesn’t mean I was tossing out ten years of friendship. But you seem really fast to. I have to change. Follow her. Whatever you plan to do about this, try to remember she’s still in danger.”
He turned and jogged for the locker room. He had a feeling Serena might take a cab if he didn’t hurry.
* * * *
Adam watched Jake head off. How had he fucked things up so completely? He’d been happy when he’d found out they were in a privacy room. He’d taken the extra key from Glen and expected that he would walk in on a hot BDSM scene. He hadn’t expected the tenderness he’d found.
Serena had been wrapped around Jake so perfectly that he’d just known there wasn’t a place for him. The way she’d moaned Jake’s name and promised that she was Jake’s and Jake’s alone had cut through him, slicing him to the bone. He’d been the one to recognize her. He’d been the one to try to get them all together. He should have been the one she’d clung to as he’d made her come. His gut had curled with jealousy.
And he’d made an ass of himself. Now Serena was walking away, and he had to stop her. He wasn’t sure what the hell he was planning on saying, but he knew he’d better say it fast or she might try walking home. He took off for the front lobby.
She stood there, staring out into the dark parking lot. Her shoulders were hunched as though she was already drawing into herself. He’d done that to her. Jake was right about that. She’d been happy in the privacy room. She’d been passionate and uninhibited. Now she was busy putting up walls again.
He decided to start with the obvious. “Thank god. I was afraid you would leave.”
She didn’t look at him, simply continued to gaze through the windows. The street was dark, only a sliver of moonlight illuminating the world outside. “I’m not an idiot, Adam. I know that would be dangerous. I was just waiting for Jacob. The doors are locked and there’s security. I’m safe enough standing here. I’m not going to throw myself out into the night just to prove a point.”
She was standing right there, but she’d never been more distant. He’d put that remote look on her face. If he let her, she’d retreat completely. She had a whole world in her head. He’d watched her go inside, and he’d had to draw her out. If he played his cards wrong, she might stay there.
“Serena, I’m sorry about that scene.” The words sounded dumb coming out of his mouth. He was smooth, damn it. He always knew what to say, but now the words wouldn’t come.
She sighed, her mouth turning down. “I’m not. It’s better to know now.”
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