by Lexi Blake
“Shut that shit down, man. Why are you acting like a closed-off asshole?”
Because he wasn’t going to grovel at her feet. It wouldn’t work. “Do you mind having this conversation in private?”
Jake shook his head. “We are in private. It’s just you and me and Serena.”
“Without Serena.” There was no more Adam and Jake and Serena.
“Buddy, she doesn’t seem to have any problem with talking in front of us. I’m just playing by her rules.”
Sure enough, Serena was sniffling into her phone. “It just didn’t work out. Fine. Okay. I did. Well, both of them. No. We didn’t get to that part. They decided they didn’t want me.”
“Bullshit, Serena, and that’s twenty for lying.” Jake narrowed his eyes, attempting to Dom her from the front seat.
She looked up at him. “You can’t spank me anymore.”
“Watch me.”
She went back to her phone call, though a little quieter now. “See, he’s brutal. No. Yes. I didn’t say I didn’t like it, but I don’t now because he’s an asshole. Can’t we just talk about this at lunch?”
“There’s no lunch, Serena,” Jake said. “We’re going home.”
“She has lunch with Bridget and Chris once a week. This was the only day they could do it this week. I coordinated their schedules. I made the reservation myself,” Adam pointed out. He already knew her habits. He loved to be involved in the ins and outs of her daily life. He had no interest in being one of those boyfriends who went his own way ninety percent of the time and just came to his lover for a little sex. He wanted to be important to her. Hell, he wanted to be indispensable.
A fat lot of good that had done him.
“I always have lunch with my friends. It’s the only time I get out.” Serena had her hand over the phone, and there was a lost look on her face.
Adam understood. It was her routine. She found comfort it in. The rest of her life was a chaotic mess, and she wanted to be with the only two people in the world who hadn’t let her down. It was just a couple of hours, and she would be safe.
Jake held his line, but Adam had known he would. “No. You’re going to cancel everything. Including that signing.”
“I can’t cancel the signing.”
“She can’t cancel the signing. We have everything in place.” Adam had worked his ass off to make sure that signing happened.
She frowned, that gloriously plump bottom lip quivering just a little. “But if I cancel the signing, then the terrorist wins.”
He wanted to laugh. She was so damn funny.
Jake didn’t seem to find it amusing. “And if I don’t make you cancel it, then I let the terrorist gut you with a really big knife.”
God, Adam wanted to keep her safe, but he was kind of on Serena’s side on this one. What were they doing here if she couldn’t even make a single appearance to promote her own work? “Aren’t we supposed to be protecting her so she can go on with her daily life?”
Serena leapt right on that. She pointed to Adam. “What he said.” She put the phone back to her ear. “Sorry, babe, we’re trying to figure out if the reasonable asshole is going to win or if the guy with a two-by-four shoved straight up his ass will prevail. Yes, that’s Jake.”
Adam stifled a laugh, but Jake turned around in his seat. “Two-by-four, Serena? Sweetheart, that’s nothing compared to the plug I’m going to shove up yours. You know what little brats who tease their Doms get? They get a nice fat ginger root shoved up their rectum.”
She whispered into the phone. “Yes, he just threatened to fig me. No. He can’t do that because he isn’t really my Dom. No. Ewww. You can’t watch. That’s not research, Chris.”
Jake looked back at Adam, sadly shaking his head. “You don’t have any say in this, man. You already checked out.”
Adam felt a little surge of anger. Jake had gotten him in this trouble in the first place. He’d been the one to get Adam really angry. If they had done this Adam’s way, they would have climbed into bed with her and asked her about the situation. But no. Jake had to make a worst-case scenario out of everything, and now he wanted to shove Adam out? “I am still on this case. If you have a problem with it, take it up with Ian.”
Jake wasn’t the only one who could make a decision. Adam switched lanes and made the next right hand turn.
“Where are you going?” Jake asked, his voice tight.
“It’s Saturday. It’s almost eleven o’clock. I’m taking our client to her lunch date.”
“Reasonable asshole won. But I think he won because he’s driving. I’m not sure I’ll be allowed out of the car,” Serena informed Chris. “Yeah. I totally need one. Order a pitcher.”
“No liquor, Serena,” Jake barked. He turned his eyes back to Adam. “I need to know you’re still in this with me.”
“I’ll keep her safe. I’ll do my job.” But he was already thinking about how much her smile lit up his whole fucking day. How was he going to keep his hands off her? Because she’d made it plain she didn’t want him anymore. He wasn’t going to beat his head against a wall. He’d been up front and honest about everything he wanted, and the first mistake he made she’d tossed him out without even being willing to listen to an explanation. He’d been down that road before, and he couldn’t do it again.
“That wasn’t I meant, man.” Jake sat back, a long sigh coming out of his chest. “I need you, man. I’m not any fucking good at this. I can’t save it on my own.”
“There’s nothing to save except her life. Let’s do what we should have done in the first place. Do our jobs. She’s the client. Nothing more.” He kept his words quiet, but every syllable was an ache in his gut.
He looked back at her in the rearview mirror, and for the briefest of seconds, he’d seen a startled hurt on her face, her eyes flaring in pain. She shut it down in an instant and went right back to her friend.
She was the client. He was the guard. It was far past time to start doing his job. Guarding her life and his dumbass heart.
Chapter Sixteen
Serena nearly ran into the restaurant. Bridget and Chris were at their customary table in the back room of the small Mexican food place. When they saw her, they stood and walked to meet her, concern written on their faces.
Thank god she wasn’t alone. Bridget rushed to hug her, pulling her close.
“Hey, sweetie. Are you all right? I know you aren’t, but that’s just something stupid I feel like I should say. I’m so sorry. We’ve both decided to fire Lara.”
Serena sniffled. She couldn’t seem to stop crying today. “Don’t fire her. At least let’s really talk about this before you guys make a decision. I haven’t fired her yet.”
She’d meant to, but things had moved so fast, and then she just hadn’t been able to make herself say the words to cut the relationship off. Lara had looked so miserable, and the truth of the matter was she didn’t have many people in her life who truly claimed to love her. She could at least give Lara a day or two.
“That’s a rational thing to do. Too bad you refuse to give the same courtesy to your lovers.” Jake was standing beside her with a grim expression on his face.
He was going to be trouble. Adam, at least, seemed to just want to get through the day.
“Hello, Bridget. You seem to have gotten rid of the extra chairs.” Jake eyed the small table. Sure enough, the table for four had only three seats.
Bridget faced Jake and gave him her happy middle finger. “Talk to the hand, asshole.”
“It’s really more of a finger,” Jake pointed out.
Chris was infinitely more polite. He held a hand out, though there was a stony, blank expression on his face. “Sorry, she’s a little upset. We both are, actually.”
Jake took the offered hand and gave Chris a bright smile. Way brighter than she’d ever seen him have before. It was a charming smile, a smile that made him sigh worthy. Asshole. “I can understand why, Chris. I hope you give us a chance to explain at some poin
t. For now, we’ll just take this table next to the three of you. I would give you a little more privacy, but obviously that’s not a good idea. We both take her health and welfare very seriously and not just because she’s our client. We care about her. I know you understand.”
Serena wanted to vomit. Jake had figured out exactly how to handle Chris. He’d said he was the one who didn’t know how to deal with people, but that had been another in a long list of lies. Well, she admitted, Chris wasn’t just a person. He was in the lifestyle, and Jake had probably figured it out by taking one look at him. Chris was a big old bottom, and he was already smiling up at the big bad Dom.
“We could get another couple of chairs,” Chris offered.
“No we can’t.” Bridget didn’t even come close to being submissive. “The asshole table is that way. Come on, Serena. I ordered you a swirl. And you better remember where your loyalties lie, Chris. Just because Hottie McHot Ass walks in with his super metro hot best friend, and all those like muscles and shit, doesn’t mean you get to turn into a pile of goo. We hate them.”
Chris sighed, staring at Jake’s chest. He was wearing a T-shirt, but it was easy to see that he was covered in amazing muscles. Jake nodded to Chris, and then Adam after him, as they made their way to the back of the room and settled down at their table.
Bridget slapped Chris across the chest. “What is wrong with you?”
Chris’s mouth was hanging slightly open. She couldn’t blame him. They looked just as good from the back as they did from the front. They both had amazingly hot asses.
“I…holy crap, Serena. You really did both of them?”
Bridget narrowed her eyes at him. “Yes, she did terribly slutty things and then they treated her like trash, so we hate them.”
“I do. I hate them. But holy crap.” Chris looked back over their way. “Did you see them?” He reached for Serena’s hand and held it to his heart. “I’m so sorry, baby. I really am. Are you sure they’re not gay? Because he seemed really gay to me.”
Serena couldn’t help it. She laughed. Chris thought every man with a half-decent body was gay, so Adam and Jake must have set his faulty gaydar in a tailspin. “I assure you—one hundred percent not gay. At least they didn’t feel gay in bed.”
“So they could be gay.” Chris sighed. “But really, we hate them.”
“Yes, we hate them.” Serena said the words. She just wished she could feel them deep down in her soul. She didn’t hate them. She was still crazy about them, but she could never trust them again. She followed Chris and Bridget back to their seats where Bridget started talking loudly about all the men she would set Serena up with when she was ready to date again.
She was never going to date again.
She listened as Adam and Jake ordered lunch. She played with the straw of her swirl margarita. Bridget and Chris started talking about work, normal, everyday things. It was the same as every lunch before except she was a completely different human being.
How could she already miss them? They were sitting not five feet away, but they were lost to her as though they were gone, never to be seen again. She wouldn’t see them again. Not really. She would move through the days, but she wouldn’t really share them. Adam and Jake would be around, but more like accessories when before they had become essential. She’d come to rely on them far more in a week than she ever had her husband, and they had been married for years.
And someday soon, they would catch this guy. She knew they would. They would honor that promise. They would catch him and she would be safe, and they would move on. She would move on. Except she wouldn’t. She hadn’t moved in years, not emotionally. She’d worked on her career and put up barricades to everyone except her small group of friends. When Adam and Jake were gone, she wouldn’t move on. She would simply move deeper inside herself until the only emotion she ever felt was typed out of her soul and placed on the internet for all to see.
“Honey? Are you all right?” Chris asked, reaching out and covering her hand with his.
She shook her head. “Nope. But I don’t have another way to be right now.”
He eyed her for a moment. “Are you sure about that?”
“Chris, you weren’t there this morning. You didn’t hear some of the things he said to me, and Adam hasn’t said anything at all. Trust me. I know exactly where I stand with those two. I was a convenient lay.”
“I don’t know about that.” Chris sat back, his eyes trailing to the table beside them where Jake and Adam sat. Their food had come, but neither seemed to be digging in.
“Well, I do. Men are jerks.” Bridget leaned in as though ready to go off on one of her tirades.
“No. This is my turn.” Chris didn’t often use that sharp bark, but when he did, he meant business. Bridget sighed and nodded. Chris turned his gaze to Serena. “You know what Bridget is doing, right? She’s going to agree with everything you say because she thinks what you need right now is a completely supportive friend, but I think what you need is someone to actually talk to. What do you want, sweetheart? I can sit here and cuss out men with Bridge or I can ask you some very specific questions.”
She wanted to listen to Bridget wail because it would soothe her. She wanted them to simply tell her she was right about everything, but she simply couldn’t. “Ask away.”
“Serena, they don’t look like two men who are eager to get away from you.”
“Then you’re not looking close enough.” The words sounded stubborn coming out of her mouth.
“I’m watching them.” Chris had a good line of sight to the table. “They both keep looking over here.”
Well, she had the obvious answer to that one. “My life has been threatened numerous times. They’re bodyguards. They’re doing their jobs.”
“I don’t think so. They’re worried and not about your life. Look, honey, I’ve been around a lot longer than you have. I know men. I can spot a playboy from a mile away. Neither one of those men even glanced at Bridget’s cleavage, and she has the girls on full display.”
Bridget shrugged. “It’s true. I even opened another button when I found out they would be with you. No man can resist these double Ds. I hate to say it, but I think Chris might be right. They’re either crazy about you or gay. The boob test doesn’t lie.”
Serena stared down at her drink. “You don’t understand, guys. Think about it. They like to share a woman, and Jake is fairly hardcore when it comes to the whips and chains stuff. I’m completely open to both lifestyles. It’s just easy. They couldn’t really care about me and have acted the way they did this morning.”
“Yes, because love is always rational,” Chris said sadly. “I love my boyfriend, and we have said some of the most hurtful things in the world to each other. Sweetie, a man who is really passionate about you, who loves you to the core, can be deeply cruel when that love is threatened.”
“All I asked for when we started this thing was a little kindness.” It hadn’t been that much.
Chris sighed. “There’s nothing kind about passion. It can be, but you’re expecting love to be one way, and it’s not. It sure as hell isn’t going to be with two men. You have two men with two hearts and two pasts to deal with. Have their lives been all sunshine and roses? You know we react the way we do because of what life has taught us. Ask yourself the question. What has life taught those two men? Did that factor into the way they reacted to some spectacularly bad news? Was what they did really unforgivable?”
Unforgivable? What did that really mean? But even if Chris was right, maybe she was simply too damaged to ever make this work. He’d talked about the way the past informed how a person dealt with the present. Her past had taught her that she made very bad judgment calls. She couldn’t trust herself any more than she could trust them. She’d made the mistake of throwing herself into this when she’d known damn well it wouldn’t work out.
But then that was just what she did. Nothing worked out how she’d planned. Even her writing career. She’d had visi
ons of being acclaimed and beloved, but mostly she’d gotten scorn and derision from anyone outside the erotic romance community. And now someone took such singular exception to her work that she required bodyguards. Everything she did seemed to isolate her, to push her further and further away from the white picket fence and kids. She just couldn’t see why her white picket fence couldn’t go around a dungeon. And why couldn’t there be two guys in her dream house?
Her fantasies were harmless. Why was she being punished for them? Why would any woman be punished for them?
Bridget took her other hand. “Hon, I know I can be a bit much, but even I can see you’re miserable and it isn’t all about the asshole who’s sending you nasty messages.”
“And a snake,” Serena mentioned. God, she couldn’t get that out of her head.
Bridget’s eyes got wide. “A snake? In your car? Like Sweetheart in Chains?”
Chris turned a bright red. “He’s pulling stuff out of your books and using it against you?”
Serena nodded. “Yep. Makes me wish I hadn’t written all that creepy stuff. I think I’ll give up the romantic suspense. The next time I write a stalker, he’s going to leave fluffy bunnies behind. Living fluffy bunnies. I hope he hasn’t read Missing in Joy.” What she’d done to her former FBI profiler character had been really awful.
Chris stood up and stalked to the next table, his hands clenched into fists. He stared down at Jake and Adam. “You tell me you’re going to kill this guy. You better kill him, or I swear to god, I will.”
When Chris went into protective mode, he went all out.
Jake looked up calmly. “I promise. I don’t promise I’ll do it quickly.”
“We’re going to take care of her,” Adam said, finally looking at her. There was a hollow look in his eyes that she was pretty sure matched her own. “We’ll take care of her whether she likes it or not.”
Chris sat down at the table with her bodyguards and started asking all kinds of pointed questions.
Bridget poured Serena another drink. “They don’t seem like men who are happy with the day’s outcome. I hate that. I sound so reasonable, but Chris is in protect-his-women mode. So now I have to be the voice of reason. Yuck.”