by Lisa Cardiff
“I need to make some calls,” Knox said, squeezing my thigh. “Wait here.”
My stomach rolling in nonstop waves, I nodded absently, unable to do anything except stare at Max. I loved that cat. The first morning after I moved into this place, I found Max purring outside my front door. I had tried to get him to go away, but he was stubborn, and he had refused to leave. After a week of him waking me up every morning, I left a bowl of water for him outside my front door. After another week, I added a bowl of food. By the end of the month, Max became my roommate. Now, he’d ended up dead just because he trusted me.
A sob bubbled out of my mouth.
I couldn’t take this.
Oh God. Oh God.
How the hell did this happen?
What did I do to deserve this?
I felt like someone had reached inside my chest and squeezed my heart. My rapid-fire breaths echoed in my ears. The edges of my vision blurred then narrowed to a pinprick. My fingers tingled like a thousand ants were crawling inside of my veins. Sweat beaded on my forehead. The lump in my throat tripled in size. Shit. I was having a full-blown panic attack. While they’d been a common occurrence when I moved to D.C., I hadn’t experienced one in over a year.
I needed to ground myself in the moment to stop it. I closed my eyes, concentrating on taking slow even breaths. Then I rubbed my hands back and forth on the soft velvet sofa cushions, focusing on the way the plush strands brushed underneath my fingertips. I listened to the deep rumble of Knox’s voice as he talked on the phone.
“Trinity.” Knox’s hands pressed into my shoulders. “Are you okay?”
My fingernails dug into the sofa. “No,” I rasped, the word sticking in my throat. “Not even close.”
He laced his fingers through mine and yanked me to my feet. “Let’s wait outside. The fresh air will make you feel better.”
“I’m open to anything,” I mumbled, following him out of the door. “I’m losing my mind and my heart feels like it’s going to explode inside my chest.”
He pulled me into an embrace, tucking my head underneath his chin. Relief seeped through my veins, warming me from the inside out. “It’ll be okay. We’ll find out who did this.”
His hand moved up and down my back in slow, even strokes. I should’ve walked away from him. This was wrong. He didn’t want me in his life. He didn’t want anything to do with me. I should’ve felt the same way. But it felt right to have him soothe me. Comfort me. I didn’t want to move away. I wanted him to hold me tighter, prop me up, and support me.
I melted into him, tuning out the world around me. With every brush of his hand, my heart slowed, and my breathing calmed. All I wanted was to move closer to him, crawl inside him, feel him, and be with him. My intuition told me he’d keep me safe. He’d keep my sister safe. I could trust him. I needed to trust someone. I couldn’t do this alone, and I wanted him in my corner.
I lifted my head. His gaze was bluer, deeper and more intense than ever before. “I…” The words wouldn’t come.
“Shh. You don’t need to say anything,” he said, his deep, smoky voice dropping low. “We’ll figure this out before anything happens to you or Faith.”
“Thank for helping me,” I whispered, finally managing to get the words out of my mouth.
The corners of his mouth tipped upward, and he nodded. “You’re welcome, Jones.”
On impulse, I rose up onto my toes and pressed a kiss against his lips. I wanted to know what it’d feel like to kiss him without any pretenses.
No Miles lurking around the corner.
No need to hide my gun.
Nothing.
Just us.
Just one kiss.
He didn’t respond for a heart-cleaving moment, and rejection twisted my insides. I eased backward, but just as quickly one of his hands clamped around my wrist and the other around my waist.
He shook his head, his eyes heavy-lidded. The silhouette of his midnight lashes shaded the sharp angles of his cheekbones. He looked delicious. “Don’t stop now,” he said, his voice husky. A shiver zipped down my spine
“I…” And there went my ability to speak again.
Pulling me against him, he ducked his head, and before I registered his intent, his lips were on my mouth again. He skimmed his lips over mine.
Once.
My eyes fluttered closed.
Twice.
I moaned softly.
Three times.
My hands curled into the lapels of his jacket.
Then, he stopped.
My eyes popped open. “Can you do that again?”
With twitching lips, he tugged me against his chest. “Later,” he whispered next to my ear, deep and with so much promise I thought I’d spontaneously combust. “Right now, I need to talk to these guys, and then we’ll leave.”
I peeked over his shoulder and saw three men standing on the sidewalk with their backs turned to us. Heat rushed up my neck. “Oh, okay.” I glanced at his car. “I’ll wait in the car.”
***
With our hands threaded together, he guided me into the elevator of his building. He asked me a few questions about Derrick and Miles during the car ride here, but for the most part, we sat together in silence.
“We should know something in a few days,” he said.
I nodded, watching the white number on the screen as it ticked upward like a countdown to something. Whether it’d be good or bad, I couldn’t say. The fingers of my free hand plucked nervously at the hem of my dress. When the elevator dinged and the doors glided open, the air punched out of my lungs. I reminded myself I was in control and nothing would happen I didn’t want.
We walked out of elevator and Knox froze mid-stride. He released my hand, and I missed the heat. The comfort.
I glanced at him, then in front of us and my heart stumbled inside my chest. A woman with long blonde hair stood next to his door. She instantly sized me up as competition. I didn’t wait for her judgment. I looked away. I didn’t need a mirror to realize I looked like a mess. Without a doubt, I had mascara smeared down my face. Half of my hair had escaped my braid. My dress was hopelessly wrinkled.
“Brenna, why are you here?” Knox snapped, his jaw tightening.
Her gaze drifted back and forth between Knox and me. “I wanted to talk. I hated the way things ended last time.”
He jammed his key into the door, the vein in the side of his neck pulsing. “We’ve already talked, Brenna. There’s nothing left to say. I understand your point of view, and I’m pretty sure you understand mine.”
Slowly, she shook her head from side to side. “I wanted to apologize about pushing for more.”
Knox pushed the door open. “Is that all?”
Her hands glided up and down her legs. “Um.”
Knox braced his hand on the doorjamb and cocked his head toward me. “Because, in case you didn’t notice, I have company.”
Her hands fluttered to her chest, then she clasped them behind her back. “Are you seeing her now?”
I didn’t want to hear his answer regardless of what he said. Our relationship consisted of an unpredictable mix of hostility and desire, and I needed to get away from both of them before the uncomfortable feeling coiling in my gut motivated me to do or say something I’d regret. I dipped under his outstretched arm, darted into his shadowy apartment and flipped on the light switch.
“Knox, I’m going to sleep. It’s been a long day. We can talk later.” The words scraped like shrapnel across my tongue.
He frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I answered. My voice was stiff, my smile stiffer.
Clearly, Knox was free to do what he wanted with whomever he wanted. Yet, a small part of me wanted to demand he follow me inside. Resisting the urge, I tried to close the door before he could object. He had other ideas. With the palm of his hand, he kept it propped open. In one seamless move, he bent his head and brushed his mouth warmly against mine in a brief kiss.
“I�
��ll only be a few minutes,” he said as he closed door, leaving me stunned and more than a little confused.
My feelings for him simultaneously frightened and excited me. A small reckless part of me wanted to seize the moment and take whatever Knox offered, even if it only lasted for one night. The logical part of me knew I needed more time to sort out my attraction to him. If Knox were standing in front of me, I had no doubt the reckless side of me would win, but he wasn’t and logic won, which meant I couldn’t waste a second.
I needed to be asleep by the time Knox returned or at least in a position where I could feign sleep. I ran down the hall and snagged a shirt from his closet. In the hall bathroom, I changed my clothes and finger brushed my teeth while studying my reflection in the mirror. I was a wreck. All semblance of color had disappeared from my face. My makeup made my eyes look like black holes. To top it off, I felt physically ill. Sighing, I scrubbed my face with soap and water and settled onto the living room sofa. I curled in a ball on my side, pulled a throw blanket over my legs and closed my eyes.
By the time I heard the door open twenty minutes later, my heartbeat had slowed, and my eyelids were heavy. His leather-soled shoes shuffled over the hardwood floor, and even with my eyes closed, I could feel him standing at the foot of the sofa, staring at me. I was more aware of him than I’d ever been of another person in my life. It went beyond the remedial training Miles provided me.
He leaned forward, his face moving closer to mine. My heart lurched with panic, swelling and pressing against my lungs, making it hard to suck in air. I curled my hands into fists underneath the blanket. It took all of my willpower not to open my eyes. I wanted this day to end before I compounded the damage to my already turbulent life.
Please don’t touch me.
I need to be alone tonight.
I need to think.
As though he heard my unspoken thoughts, he released a weary sigh and walked away. I didn’t move a single muscle until I heard the telltale click of the bedroom door.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Knox
Restless. Wired. Pissed off. That’s how I felt as I watched the minutes tick by on my alarm clock. I couldn’t sleep. From two to five in the morning, I saw every hour; every minute. Thank fuck there wasn’t a second hand because I would’ve ripped my hair out hours ago. At five-thirty, I gave up pretending my eyes would close, and put on my running gear.
When I stepped out the front door of my building, deep purple streaks painted the sky. The crescent moon played hide and seek with the clouds. I loved the early morning when the streets and sidewalks were nearly empty.
Without bothering to stretch, I took off in the direction of the National Mall. Like every other morning, I intended to circle the reflection pool a few times and head home. Halfway there, I took a detour, and twenty minutes later, I found myself on Miles’s front doorstep. Rationally, I knew I should stay away from him until I had the evidence to pin the cat incident on him, but my anger overrode my common sense.
After ringing the doorbell nonstop for five minutes, he flung open the door. “What are you doing here?” he growled, his teeth clenched and his eyelid twitching.
A toxic mix of adrenaline and testosterone rushed through my veins. I balled my hands into fists to stop myself from ripping his throat out. “Did you have anything to do with it?”
Folding his arms across his chest, his lips tightened and his brows lowered. “Can you be a little more specific?”
“I’d be happy to.” My chest heaving both from anger and jogging, I leaned forward until my face was inches from his. “Did you kill Trinity’s cat, string it up over her kitchen table, and leave a note threatening her sister?”
His eyes narrowed. “I didn’t touch her cat, and I don’t give a shit about her sister. I’ve never met her.”
“Did you have someone kill her cat?” I asked, rephrasing the question. Miles talked in circles.
“My people take their orders from me.”
The air around us dropped twenty degrees. I squared my shoulders and rolled my neck, struggling to release the tension curling in my muscles like a wind-up toy. As much as I wanted to convince myself otherwise, beating the shit out of Miles wouldn’t help the situation. “Is that a yes?” I asked.
He raised his eyebrows. “No, it’s not.” He shrugged. “I won’t lie. I don’t like that she’s using you to get back at me, but I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t need to. She’ll be back with me soon enough.”
My brows snapped together. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“She’s toying with you to make me jealous. I don’t like it, but if it’s what she has to do to end up back together with me, I won’t stand in her way.”
Rage surged through me, and before I could think twice about my actions, my fist connected with his jaw. His head whipped to the side. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.
He backpedaled, cupping the side of his face. “What the fuck was that about?” he groused.
I rubbed the knuckles of my right hand down my thigh. “That’s for being an asshole. That’s for interfering with my investigation. That’s for treating Trinity like shit. She’s done with you.”
He smirked. “You’ve known her for a couple of weeks now. Is that about right?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It means that you don’t know anything about her or our relationship.”
My gaze swept down his body and back up again. “She’s told me all that I need to know. All that matters.”
“Sure, you can keep telling yourself that.” He rolled his eyes. “One way or another, she’ll be back. I’m just biding my time until I reel her back in.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Are you planning to blackmail her with Benton?”
An uneasy look flashed across his face, but he hid it quickly. “What do you know about Benton?”
My mouth curled into a humorless smile. “Just what Trinity told me. Is there anything else you want to add?”
“Trinity wouldn’t tell you anything. She doesn’t confide in people unless she trusts them.”
I rocked back on my heels and snorted. “Well, I guess that means she trusts me. Not you.”
A sound of muffled anger slid though his clenched teeth. “You’re bluffing. You don’t know anything.”
I arched my eyebrow. “Keep telling yourself that, but it’s only a matter of time before I have all the evidence I need to put you behind bars, and I plan to make your life damn inconvenient until I succeed.”
He folded his arms across his chest and barked out an uneasy laugh. “Go ahead and try. I don’t have anything to hide. I’m not worried.”
I glanced at my watch. “Then you’re a fucking idiot,” I growled as I backed down the front steps of his home. I wanted to get back to my place before Trinity took off. We needed to talk. I was done playing games with her. I wanted her, and I was done pretending otherwise.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Trinity
Knox strolled in the front door with his polished, loose-hipped gait and a lopsided grin on his face. His navy jogging pants hung low from his narrow hips, and his white shirt clung to his shoulders and chest like a second skin.
He grabbed an icepack from the freezer, molded it around his hand and sat down next to me at the kitchen counter.
His hooded stare raked up and down my body with an unnerving intensity. “That’s quite a shirt. You look good in it,” he said, his eyes flashing with amusement.
I smoothed the front. “I’m glad you like it.”
“How are you feeling today?” he asked, studying me closely.
“Better.” I pointed at his hand. “What happened to you?”
He leaned back in the chair, hooking his sneaker-clad foot around the leg of my stool. “I paid Miles a visit this morning, and we didn’t exactly see eye to eye.”
I reached for my cup of coffee and swirled the dark brown liquid. “Jesus, Knox. What did you do?” I said
through a reluctant laugh.
He brushed his hand across the top of my head. “We disagreed on a few matters, and I tried to persuade him to change his mind.”
I ripped the icepack from his hand. His knuckles were puffy and red. “By hitting him?”
He lifted one shoulder and dropped it like he didn’t have a care in the world. “He pissed me off, so I did what I had to do.”
“And what did that get you?”
He chuckled. “Nothing, but I won’t lie, I enjoyed it. A lot.” He rested his uninjured hand on top of mine, his eyes distant. “I didn’t like the way he was talking about you, and I don’t trust him. I never have.”
I shifted to the edge of the barstool until my face was level with his. I lowered my voice. “Did he admit he had something to do with last night?”
“No.” He shook his head. “But I didn’t expect him to admit to anything. I wanted to evaluate his reaction both to seeing you with me last night and when I told him what happened to your cat.”
I tried to ease my hand out from underneath his, but he tightened his hold. “I don’t remember asking you to confront him. In fact, I don’t remember asking for your assistance. You helped me with—” I cleared my throat, battling the tears building behind my eyes. “Max. You let me stay here last night, and for both of those things, I thank you, but I don’t expect anything else.”
“Did you already change your mind? Because I’m pretty sure you wanted something more from me last night.” He released his hand from mine and dropped it into his lap. “Or are you telling me I misinterpreted your words?”
“Answer something for me,” I said, tugging on the bottom of the shirt I borrowed from Knox. Unless I wanted to put on my cocktail dress, I didn’t have any other options when I woke up this morning. “What did that woman want last night?”
He sucked his lower lip into his mouth. “She wanted more than I was willing to give her.”
I adjusted the rubber band in my hair, and it snapped. My hair spilled down my back. “What wouldn’t you give her?”