She sat down, her starched, light gray dress suit barely even wrinkling with the motion. She crossed her legs at the ankles and placed her hands in her lap. “I won’t be but a moment.”
Feeling strangled, Xavier loosened his tie. “Make it quick. I have a meeting.”
Katherine lifted her head, looking him right in the eye. Her words came out cool and calm: “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Xavier cocked his head and blinked. “Excuse me?”
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“Did Sophia ever tell you about my mother?”
Xavier stared blankly at Katherine.
“I’ll take that as a no.” She smiled. “That doesn’t surprise me, since I never really told her the truth about her grandmother.”
Why didn’t that surprise him? Xavier slumped in his seat and tried his best to contain his resentment.
“Sophia doesn’t know that my mother was a whore.” Katherine didn’t flinch when she spoke, but Xavier almost came out of his chair.
“That’s a fine thing to say about the woman who gave birth to you.”
“And that’s all she did,” Katherine said sadly, wrinkles forming at the corners of her eyes. “My mother was poor and fell hopelessly in love with a well-to-do man. She got pregnant, and he threw her away like rubbish.” She brushed an invisible hair off her forehead. “When I was born, she resented me. I was the reason she’d lost the one man who’d cared about her. She couldn’t stand to look at me, let alone speak to me. She no longer cared about herself or life. She gave up everything she wanted because of love. Because a man broke her heart.”
Xavier rubbed his hands over his face, trying to take it all in.
“Not able to take the pain I saw every day in my mother’s eyes or the hurt she’d caused me, I ran away when I was fifteen. An elderly couple took me in and gave me the love I needed. I knew how lucky I was when I found my husband. But even that was a struggle. He was an earl, and I was a commoner. Even in this day and age of Charles and Camilla and William and Kate, those classes don’t mix in some circles.” She eyed him curiously. “If you knew Sophia’s grandmother—her father’s mother—you’d know what kind of struggle getting down the aisle was for me.”
Xavier could barely contain his growl. He’d met the woman, all right. He didn’t need to be told she was crazy.
“Elise,” Katherine continued, “never cared for her only son marrying someone like me. I had to prove my loyalty to her and to the family. According to Elise, I was a black spot on the family tree.”
She leaned forward. “Once I had a family of my own, I was determined that no children of mine should think their parents don’t love them. And no one should chase love just for the sake of it. Look where it got my mother.” Katherine rose from her seat and walked to the edge of the desk. “Elise thought the same thing. She was bound and determined to not let the past repeat itself. And because she is head of the family, we went along with her wishes—to make sure her only granddaughter was raised properly without the mess of a young love or child. I always thought I was guarding Sophia from the same mistakes my mother made. I didn’t want her to be loved and then lost in a sea of sadness if you left her. And I certainly didn’t want your child to think the same thing. And Elise didn’t want anything to ruin Sophia’s prospects—”
Xavier withheld a growl. “Prospects?”
An unpleasant grin curled Katherine’s mouth. “Yes. Life prospects. All the things Sophia could have had…if she’d stayed on the right path.”
“The right path being what?”
“Obeying her grandmother. Getting the proper education to carry out her life as the wife of a powerful man. Not having a child and ruining the future that was planned for her. At the time, I truly believed that was the proper thing to do.”
Xavier tapped impatiently on his desk. “What do you believe now, Mrs. Montel?” He was delighted at Katherine’s quick flash of disapproval at his less-than-proper form of address. He’d rot in Hell before he’d call Katherine My Lady or Your Ladyship. God.
Katherine blew the disrespect off quickly, looking toward the window and drawing in a long, deep breath. Her eyes slid back to him, hooded and clouded. “I was wrong. Sophia’s not like my mother.” A rueful laugh escaped her lips. “And she is most certainly not like me. I should’ve trusted her more. I should’ve trusted myself more. Had I done that, she wouldn’t be in this mess. I knew in my heart that how Elise wanted us to raise Sophia was wrong. After all, I wasn’t raised like that, and I turned out well.”
Xavier stifled a laugh at the irony of Katherine’s statement.
“But in the forefront,” she continued, “I had my husband, who was fiercely loyal to his mother. Because of all that had happened in my life and our marriage, he refused to let her down again.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “But he had a soft spot for Sophia. He’d come to the conclusion to raise her with the changing times and give her the slice of freedom we didn’t have. He didn’t regret allowing Sophia to grow into the wonderful child she did, but he took the brunt of the blow from Elise when we found out Sophia was pregnant. After the accident, he wanted to make it up to his mother. So we did what she required of us…because we saw no other way. It didn’t take long after the baby was born for him to have a change of heart. He’d known what Sophia was really missing out on, and he’d hated himself—and me—for going along with his mother’s plan. But we couldn’t change what we had done; all we could do was move forward and give Sophia the best chances she had for a normal life.”
Xavier scowled at the way she’d used the word normal. If Sophia had had any aspect of a normal life, then Xavier was going to be the next President of the United States.
“I wished we would have handled it differently,” she continued. “I, of all people, knew how important it was to follow my heart. I failed Sophia in that regard. She deserved better than me.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I needed to clear the air. Not for Sophia, because she has a mind of her own, but for myself. I know you two loved each other that summer. I’m not sure how you feel about each other now, but I know what I did was wrong. It affected you both in ways I didn’t consider. I’m sorry.”
Katherine turned around and started to walk out of the office. Xavier rose from his desk and hurried to her side. “What exactly did you expect to gain from this trip?”
She shrugged, a sheen of tears glistening in her eyes. “Redemption for my actions.”
She pulled the door open, but Xavier blocked her path. “Did you come here for the sole purpose of making me feel guilty for leaving Sophia?”
“No. I came to tell you the truth.”
“And your truth is supposed to make everything better?”
Katherine shook her head. “You don’t see, do you?”
“Apparently not.”
“I can’t fix your problems. You’ll have to do that on your own. But I can come clean with my own mistakes, to show you where Sophia comes from, in hopes of making everything clear. You two can repair the damage that has been done so long as you know the truth.”
Xavier stepped out of her way. “Your daughter made the decision for me when she hid the truth. She’s the one who walked out on me. Maybe she’s more like you and your mother-in-law than you think.”
A chilling laugh escaped Katherine’s lips. “If you believe that, Mr. Cain, then you aren’t the man I thought you were.”
As the door clicked shut behind her, Xavier pounded his hand against it.
He went over to the window and jerked the shades closed. Crossing to his desk and seizing the phone, he then called the one person he knew could help him. Glancing at the calendar while the international call connected, he realized he didn’t have that much time to put a plan in place that was only beginning to form in his head.
Time mattered, and he hoped like hell he could pull off a miracle.
A quiet voice answered the
line. Before she could even speak, Xavier’s words spilled out.
“This is Xavier Cain. Please listen carefully.”
“Here it is.” Sophia held out her plane ticket to New York as she sat down on the living room couch. Her clammy hands clutched it like a rickety lifeboat, and her heart was roaring in her ears.
“You’re going to tell him?” Anne Marie asked as she took a seat next to her. It had been a week since she’d given Sophia that annoying speech in bed.
“I have to. He may not want me anymore, but he needs to know about his child.” She missed him so much that it hurt in a way she couldn’t even explain. Sometimes it was hard to breathe, hard to think, let alone actually live.
“When’s the flight?”
“Next weekend. I needed to give myself a little more time.”
“Why don’t you just ring him?”
Sophia shrugged. “Seeing him in person seemed the proper thing to do. Plus, the trip will give me a chance to sort things out.”
Anne Marie shot her friend a condescending look. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing for the past four weeks?”
“Stop. I need more time before I face him. Imagine a man who spent his entire adult life waiting for me only to find out we’ve lost a child he’d never known for certain we’d conceived, and now I’m going to have another child of his, and he can’t stand to even look at me. It’s going to be a pretty unpleasant conversation, so I need to prepare myself.”
Anne Marie murmured something under her breath.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing. I think it’s good you’re going to New York to face your demons. Hey, there’s a Spring is in the Air fashion show going on next weekend that showcases up-and-coming designers. We should go whilst we’re there.”
“We?”
“Well, yes. I thought I would provide my dearest friend with some company, a shoulder to cry on, or anything else she might want in her time of need.” Anne Marie gave Sophia a gentle hug. “It’ll be fun.”
Sophia relented. “All right. He won’t be there, though, will he?”
“Xavier? Why would he be? He’s famous, remember? Not an up-and-comer.”
True. But what if he liked to see the new designs? Then Sophia would have to see him before she was ready.
She frowned at herself. No time would be a good time. She needed to face the facts and realize there was no way to get ready for this type of thing. She didn’t know if he would even see her once she arrived in New York, but somehow she had to tell him the truth about their child.
The doorbell chimed, and Anne Marie went to answer it.
“What are you doing here?” Sophia asked in utter shock when her mother walked into the living room.
“Sophia,” Katherine said quietly. “I know you’re upset with me. But I have something to say, and I shall not leave here until I have said it.”
“Fine—talk.”
“I’m sorry.”
Sophia snorted; this had to be a joke. “Sorry?”
“Yes, dear.” Katherine crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the suede couch. “I’m sorry for not being honest with you. I’m sorry for not telling you the reasons I did what I did. And I’m sorry I put this wedge between us.”
Sophia’s arms dropped to her sides, which suddenly weighed as much as concrete blocks.
“Please sit,” Katherine asked.
Sophia slid into the chair next to her, unable to take any actual steps as Katherine proceeded to tell her all about both of her grandmothers and the circumstances revolving around Sophia’s upbringing. About her father’s conflicted sense of duty between daughter and mother. While the story continued, Sophia did her best to seem as though she was calm and collected. She wasn’t.
“So,” Katherine concluded, “I did everything I did to protect you from making the same mistakes. We both thought we were helping you, but we were wrong.”
Sophia’s memories pieced things together into a frightening reality. “That’s why you two fought after the accident. He wanted to tell me the truth.”
Katherine nodded, still casting her eyes away. “You see, his mother’s approval was important to both of us, me especially. But after he saw your hurt through the eyes of a father, he couldn’t take it. You would wander around the house, crying, and kept saying that you felt like something was missing. And that you wouldn’t be whole until you found out what it was. As a mother, I felt it as well. It broke my heart, Sophia, really it did.” She blew out an unsteady breath. “But what was done was done. I thought telling you the truth at that point would only make it worse.”
Sophia’s eyes stung with unshed tears. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because I stole your future and you needed to know. I’m so sorry.”
Sophia rose and stepped toward her mother. She stretched out both arms, and Katherine’s eyes went wide in surprise.
“Thank you,” Sophia whispered as she held her mother in a long embrace, the first one in a long time. It was a small step in the right direction. “You may have had something to do with the past, but I’m the one who ruined my future.”
Katherine drew away. “Are you going to try to fix it?”
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that. But I am going to tell him about his child.”
Katherine’s jaw dropped. “What?”
“I’m pregnant. Xavier is the father.”
Katherine folded back down in her chair like a deflating balloon. “Oh…my…bloody h—”
Sophia gasped in shock. “Mother!” Katherine simply stared at her with wild eyes. “In all my years I’ve never heard language like that from you.”
“I’m…I’m shocked. That’s all, dear. I wouldn’t have expected this.”
Sophia bit her bottom lip. “Me neither.”
“What’s next, then?”
“The truth for him. But it’s the end for us. I’ve hurt him, and he doesn’t trust me. I lost him because of me.” Sophia failed to hide the unease in her voice.
Katherine took Sophia’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Are you sure?”
Chapter Twenty
SOPHIA FOUND HERSELF in the last place she wanted to be: New York, getting ready to attend the Spring is in the Air fashion show. She’d have rather been holed up in her hotel room and mulling sadly until her scheduled meeting with Xavier. She’d been rather surprised when Xavier’s secretary had so willingly and excitedly set up the appointment.
But instead of eating a quart of vanilla bean ice cream and silently wishing her life was different, Sophia had let Anne Marie drag her to the show. Anne Marie had hoped it would lighten Sophia’s mood. So far it hadn’t. The only thing Sophia could think about was the fact she would see Xavier in less than twenty-four hours, and she had no idea what she was going to say.
The car drove up to the tents, and Sophia found it hard to breathe. Déjà vu raised goose bumps on her skin.
One more day, she told herself as she stepped out of the limo. One more day and she could go back to the comfort and security of her flat. She would rest there until she decided what to do with the remainder of her life.
Taking her seat in the front row, she reminded herself that she had a child to raise. A special life to give it. Her only job now was to make the baby as happy and as healthy as she possibly could.
If she only accomplished one thing in life, it would be to make sure her child wanted for nothing. It would have her love, unconditional and absolute. She would not make the same mistakes as her parents or grandmother. She would make sure her baby was happy, even if it meant sacrificing happiness for herself. And she would remember that the child had been conceived in love.
The last designer on the program was up, but where in the bloody hell was Anne Marie? She had missed the last three lines entirely. She’d probably gotten distracted by some handsome man on her way to the bathroom. That girl never surprised Sophia with her affection for the opposite sex. Anne Marie would be sad if she missed the next
line, though. According to the program, it was a last-minute addition and promised to bring what it called “excitement and heart-stopping emotion never before seen at the spring show.”
Sophia glanced again at Anne Marie’s empty seat and frowned. Focusing back on the entrance to the runway, she hoped her friend would make an appearance soon.
The bright white light dimmed to a muted but glowing gray that washed over the audience. It looked like the tent had opened up as millions of pieces of tiny silver glitter showered down from the ceiling. The light brightened ever so slightly and reflected a rainbow of colors over the audience.
Orchestral music played, beautiful harmonies of strings and flutes. The first model appeared wearing a short bubble dress made of chiffon. It was the most striking marine blue Sophia had ever seen, almost the color of the ocean she’d seen in the Hamptons. The dress had a strapless bodice and an empire waist with beading and metallic embroidery. Simply perfect.
The model stopped at the end of the runway, but she didn’t turn around to walk back; she only stood in place. The music continued as the next model walked out, and to Sophia’s surprise, she was wearing the same dress as the first girl. Exactly the same. That model likewise stopped at the end of the runway and stood next to the other one. A third girl came out in the identical outfit, and then another.
Sophia scrunched her face. What type of designer would have an entire line of the exact same dress?
When the fourth girl stopped next to the others, the music hushed, and the lights went black. A spotlight flicked on, aimed at the entrance to the runway. Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” rang through the speakers.
Sophia’s mouth opened as the next model stepped into the light. Gliding across the now glittering stage was a woman draped in a long white A-line dress. The snug bodice was thickly trimmed along the top with the same marine blue adorning the other dresses, and the trim itself was heavily embroidered with intricate designs and perfectly placed glass beads that sparkled and shimmered as the dress swayed. The woman’s face was cloaked in a tulle veil stopping just below her chin.
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