He smiled, and she had the distinct impression he knew what she was trying to do. "I was in the same frat at my old college. Before I transferred, I arranged it so I'd be able to move in here right away. Besides, I've known Mike, Jack, and Doug since we were kids."
"Mike's a good guy, not so good at math though."
"He never has been," he agreed. "Jack and Doug are good guys too."
She had seen them at parties over the years, even shared a couple of classes with them, but she'd never spoken to them. Although, they were among the few frat guys who had never bothered her, or stared at her like she was a piece of meat. They had always been polite, but distant. To her, that alone made them likable. "I don't really know them," she admitted. "Where did you go to school before?"
"Buffalo."
"What made you move to Massachusetts?"
He twirled the water in his elegant fingers. A shudder tore through her as she recalled those fingers on her body. She tore her gaze away from them and forced herself to look at him. Again, there was a knowing gleam in his eyes as he smiled at her. "I grew up near here, and I thought it was time to come home again. I know a couple of guys in this house, and Phi Beta, from high school."
"Then why did you go all the way to Buffalo?"
"Wanted a change of scenery, something new, but I'm not a big fan of the cold, and after last winter I decided to come back."
She raised an eyebrow. "This isn't exactly Florida."
He laughed and placed the water bottle on the floor. "No it's not, but it's also not as cold, or snowy as it is up there." He smiled as he slid back on the bed and leaned against the wall. "What about you, Sera?"
"What about me?" she asked warily.
"Why are you at this school?"
She sat on the corner of the desk. She tried not to show him how uncomfortable the question made her, so she forced herself not to bite her lip as she met his inquisitive stare. "It was far enough away so I could live at school, but close enough to my family so I could go home on vacations. Plus, this is a good school."
"Good reasons. Did you know anyone here?"
"No, but that was the point. I was looking for a new beginning, a chance to start my own life and make new friends. I like the way things have turned out."
It was only a little lie, and there was no reason to feel bad about it, she told herself. "That's good. Why don't you date?"
She blinked at the abrupt change of topic. Her hands automatically clenched upon the desk. "Excuse me?"
"Why don't you date? All the guys around here say you've never dated anyone on campus."
"You asked about me?" She couldn't keep the alarm out of her voice.
He watched her with an amused gleam in his eyes. For a second she was reminded of a panther studying its prey. Unfortunately, she seemed to be the prey. Apprehension prickled its way up her spine.
"Just a little," he admitted.
Sera had to fight against the violent shaking threatening to overtake her. "What did they say about me?"
He smiled at her and shook his head. "It was nothing bad. They just told me you didn't date anyone, that you never had, and not to waste my time. So, why haven't you gone out with someone else?"
Some of the tension eased from her, and she found herself able to breathe regularly again. Then his words caught her attention. Her brow furrowed as she stared at him questioningly. Why hadn't she gone out with someone else? Were they going out? Her heart did a hopeful flip-flop, but she buried it.
"Nobody ever asked me," she replied, "while they were sober anyway."
"That's because they didn't have the courage unless they were drunk."
"What about you then?"
He grinned cockily. "I don't need alcohol."
"Conceited," she commented dryly.
"Far from it. Not having the courage to do something just means you lose out on it. If you get rejected, so what, at least you tried. Besides, it isn't the end of the world."
She admired him for a courage she could never have. "So, how did you know it wasn't the alcohol in me last night?"
"I didn't. That's why I came by so early, I figured you might still be drunk." He grinned charmingly, and she felt the rest of her anxiety beginning to melt away.
"I didn't have that much to drink last night."
"No, but you never know how you're going to feel about someone the next morning."
"Oh, and how did you feel about me?"
"Very good," he said with a small smile. "Sit down." He patted the bed beside him.
She eyed him guardedly. She knew if she got close to that bed, and him, her thoughts and emotions would get all tangled up again. But she desperately wanted to get close to him, to touch him, and to have him touch her. Besides, she didn't think he would hurt her. He could have done that last night if it was what he'd intended. She released the desk and made her way to sit down beside him.
"Come on," he said and pulled her toward the head of the bed. "Lie down; you look tired."
She went rigid beneath his touch. Her eyes flew to his as memories suddenly assailed her. She found she couldn't breathe or even move. He slowly moved his hands away from her, and she was finally able to breathe again. His gaze was intense as he searched her face. Sera lowered her lashes before he could read too much in her eyes.
"It's okay," he said.
She fought back the tears threatening to fall. She had worked diligently to rid herself of her dread of men, and although she had gotten better, she still couldn't control some of her instinctive, involuntary reactions. She hated herself for it, hated herself for the weakness, and hated he’d witnessed it.
He slid his jacket off and lay down on the bed to give her some space. He didn't touch her, didn't force her to lie down. No matter how much he wanted to hold her, he restrained himself from grabbing her. Her back was rigid as she sat on the bed; small shivers racked her delicate spine. A raging anger suddenly tore through him. Something had happened to her; someone had hurt her. His hands clenched at the thought, and he had to take a deep breath to steady himself.
He never felt like this; never let his anger reach such a point. It was dangerous when it did; he was dangerous. But the idea of anyone harming her was pushing him toward a perilous edge. He didn't understand why he was unable to resist this girl, why she got to him in a way no one else ever had.
"You're safe with me, Sera," he said kindly.
She lifted her lashes to look at him. Tears shimmered in her eyes, and self-loathing filled them. Those tears touched something inside him, something savage and protective. He was tempted to pull her into his arms and shield her from the rest of the world, but he knew if he tried to touch her now, she would bolt like a frightened rabbit and never come back. That wasn't an option.
She bit her bottom lip, straightened her back in determination, and scooted back on the bed. She lay down beside him, forcing herself not to tremble as he wrapped his arms around her. She hated herself enough for letting him see her weakness without making it worse by shaking like a leaf in his embrace. He drew her closer, so her head rested on his chest.
She found herself relaxing. He’d given her no reason to fear him; it was unfair of her to do so. His warm body, steadily beating heart, and enticing aroma served to comfort and relax her even further. She stifled a yawn as she melted beneath his soothing touch.
"I can't stay long," she whispered, trying to keep her eyes open. "I'm supposed to meet Kathleen for lunch."
"Okay, just rest for a while."
He kissed the top of her head, and her eyes started to close. Liam remained staring at the ceiling long after she had drifted off to sleep. He couldn't quell the protective drive swelling through him as she lay trustingly in his embrace.
His body craved and responded to her in a way it never had to anyone else. But it was more than his body yearning for her. She was so warm, caring, and delicately fragile that he couldn't resist her. In the library, he had only planned to say hi and to see her, but he had l
ost himself in her dazzling warmth.
He couldn't seem to get enough of touching her. It was a treacherous game he played; one he was sure to lose. She’d been hurt before, and he could bring her nothing but more sorrow. It was against the rules, rules he had made for the safety of them all.
Sera stirred a little; her hand twitched on his chest. He clasped it and ran his fingers along her silky skin and delicate bones. Bones that could break so easily. He tensed at the thought. He was losing his mind, he knew that, but he didn't particularly care. He kissed the top of her head. Rules be damned, sanity be damned.
He didn't really know her, but for some reason, he knew he wasn't going to be able to let her go.
Chapter Four
Sera woke with a start. Her heart raced as she realized she didn't know where she was. The room was shadowed and unfamiliar. Loud, boisterous laughter echoed through the hall outside as people shouted to each other. Then she felt Liam's arm still wrapped around her waist, and she heard his deep breathing. She lifted her head to look at the clock on his nightstand. The bright red numbers announced it was five forty-three.
"Crap," she whispered. "Crap, crap, crap!"
She carefully lifted Liam's arm. His eyes instantly flew open. They were a brilliant green in the dim light of the room as they landed upon her. "What time is it?" he asked sleepily.
"Quarter to six."
"Oh." She stiffened as he pulled her back into his arms. "You missed lunch already."
She lay rigid for a minute before relaxing back against him. His arms were like steel around her, but she knew he would release her if she asked him to. He lifted her chin and kissed her. The brief touch sent a wave of warmth through her dissolving her remaining anxiety. Never had anyone been so kind to her. Her body yearned for his in a way it never had with anyone else.
He pulled away to stare at her. He seemed to be searching for something, but for what, she didn't know. His hands wrapped in her hair, drawing her against him as he kissed her. She melted against him, her body on fire as their tongues touched and teased. His kiss gradually grew deeper and more urgent.
An involuntary moan escaped her as she held onto his solid, well-muscled back. He groaned and nibbled at her lip as his hand caressed her neck, then her collarbone. She gasped when he cupped her breast. She moaned as he teased her nipple into a taut bud while his mouth kept firm possession of hers.
A loud bang in the hallway caused her to jump. With the contact broken, reality crashed down on her. She shouldn't be here, shouldn't be doing this. If anything, she had learned from past mistakes how quickly things could get out of control. How rapidly she could be betrayed. Her breath came in rapid pants as memories washed over her.
He brushed a loose strand of hair off her face. She flinched involuntarily, and his hand instantly fell away. She rolled away before she could see the disgust sure to follow her reaction in his eyes. Putting her head in her hands, she fought against sobbing out her self-loathing. She hated this weakness.
She wished she could be normal. She wished that night had never happened. She’d tried to forget about it, but she couldn't. It was always in the back of her mind, constantly haunting her, chasing her. Now she'd met someone she genuinely liked, who made her feel things she never imagined she could, and she was going to lose him. No guy, no matter how nice, would choose to be with someone who flinched every time he touched her.
"Sera," he whispered.
He sat up and laid his hands on her shoulders. She turned her head so he couldn't see her face. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"For what?"
She shook her head, her long hair falling forward to obscure what little of her face he could see. A small tremor shook her, but she refused to look at him. He took hold of her chin with his thumb and index finger and turned her head, forcing her to look at him.
"There is nothing to be sorry for," he said firmly. "Okay?" She nodded, but self-loathing still filled her eyes. He was unsure of what to say, or do. "I won't do anything you don't want to do."
Her eyes flicked over his face as she thought over his words and tried to figure out if he was telling the truth or not. He seemed to be telling her the truth. He had to be. She was sitting with him, alone in a dark room, and he was making no move to do anything to harm her. Instead, he was only trying to reassure and comfort her.
"There's no rush," he assured her. "I'll wait until you're comfortable, until you're ready."
She had to fight back the wave of tears flooding her eyes. "Wait?" she managed to choke out through the lump in her throat.
He smiled. "Yes, wait. I like you, Sera. I want to be with you, with, or without sex. Understand?"
Her eyes widened as his words sank in. He could have almost any girl, at any time, why would he choose to wait for her? For someone who shrank away from him? For someone who was broken? She simply couldn't believe what she was hearing, but he seemed so honest, so sincere, and she wanted to believe him.
"Why?" she had to ask.
He stared at her as he tried to figure it out for himself. He liked her, he knew that, but he had liked girls before. Though none of them had ever made him feel the way she did or so protective before. And none of them had managed to arouse him as much as she did with just a look or a kiss. He was rigid right now, yet he was telling her he would wait for her.
It would be better for her if he left now, walked downstairs, and found the first girl he could take his lust out on. Instead, he found himself going limp at the thought. He was suddenly sure they wouldn't be able to satisfy him, and only she would be able to. Although they had just met, and he barely knew her, she helped to ease the loneliness of his bleak existence, and he was not going to let her go. He would have to someday, but not yet.
"Because I want to be with you. Okay?" he asked with a small smile.
She managed to smile back at him as her heart filled with happiness. He was surely too good to be true, but right now she didn't care. His thumb stilled on her chin as he leaned forward and kissed her. He pulled back and smiled as he held his arms out to her. She didn't hesitate as she fell into them. He hugged her against his chest, his chin resting on her head. To her amazement, she realized she’d never felt so safe before.
"Can I ask you something?" he inquired.
"Sure, what?"
"You may not like it, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to."
She nestled closer to his warmth. "Then ask."
"What happened to you before?"
Her breath froze in her lungs as her heart beat a staccato in her chest. "What do you mean?" she asked, trying to keep the tremor from her voice.
He stroked her hair. "I mean, what happened to make you so frightened?"
Agony tore through her as memories threatened to rush forth. Resolutely, she turned her attention away from the past and made herself focus on the here and now.
"You don't have to answer me," he reminded her.
She didn't know why. Maybe it was because he hadn't pressed her, or maybe it was because she felt so incredibly, irrationally safe with him, but she suddenly felt the need to tell him... or at least tell him some of it. "Remember when I said I came to this school because it was close to home, but far enough away?"
"Yes."
"Well, that wasn't entirely true. To me, it wasn't far enough away from home, not nearly far enough, but I couldn't afford anything else. My parents only live three hours away, in New Hampshire, but I don't go home for the holidays. I stay with my grandmother on the Cape. Sometimes my mom comes to visit me, but she never stays long, and my father never comes."
She took a deep breath to steady herself as she reopened wounds which had never completely healed. "My graduating class was only thirty-two kids, and we all knew where everyone else was going. No one was coming here, so I did. No one from the following classes has attended here either."
He remained silent while she took another deep breath. Now that she was speaking, she suddenly found herself unable to sto
p. "In the middle of my senior year, I started dating this guy named Jacob."
Her voice broke off as she shuddered involuntarily. She hadn't said his name in years, just saying it brought cold terror to her gut. Liam stroked her hair and back, easing some of the tension from her muscles, and giving her the strength to go on.
"He was the quarterback on the football team of the town next to ours. Our town was too small for a team, so the kids in our school played on that team too. My friends and I went to all their games; it was the only thing to do on a Friday night. Jacob was outgoing and good looking. I thought I was the luckiest person on earth when he asked me to go out with him. My parents wouldn't allow me to date until I was a senior, so he was my first boyfriend.
"We had been dating for about a month when we went to my homecoming dance. I was crowned queen." Sera snorted as she recalled how happy she’d been that night, how childish, and naive. "It had been the greatest night of my life. After the dance, we went to a party at my friend Lisa's house. I never wanted the night to end, but I had a two o'clock curfew, so Jacob drove me home."
She closed her eyes as she tried desperately not to shed the tears pooling in them. She nestled closer to him, needing to know he was there, that Jacob was the past, and she would never have to see him again. That he couldn't hurt her anymore. Liam's hands massaged the back of her scalp as he hugged her closer to him.
"He was drunk, but I didn't care, nothing bad could happen to either of us," she continued in a strangled voice. "He pulled onto a side road and drove to a place we had gone to a few times before. It was private there; no one bothered us.
"He started to kiss me, and at first it was okay, you know. But then... I don't know; I don't know anything anymore." She blinked rapidly as she lost the battle against her tears and one slid free. "I can't believe I'm telling you this," she mumbled. "I haven't even told Kathleen. She'd be so mad at me if she found out I told you, and not her."
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