by Kiersten Fay
Analia considered his words carefully. He was offering her death at her own hand. She'd contemplated suicide before—many, many times before. But, as closely guarded as she’d been, she never found ample opportunity. Now it was being offered to her on a silver platter.
Thinking over her life, she could only call up memories of suffering and sorrow. There wasn't a single moment that brought her joy. No memory sparked a hint of happiness to make her want to cling to this existence. Could she really push the button that would end her completely?
Yes.
Her shoulders slumped ever so slightly.
At least I had tried.
Her greatest and, sadly, sole achievement was her escape from Extarga. If she were dead, Darius could truly never hurt her again. The time she had spent in the small maintenance room had changed her completely. Even though she was technically still trapped, it was a small taste of what true freedom could be. It had been her choice, her decision, and no one else’s, that brought her here now. She had felt the power of freedom and knew she could never go back. The moment she set one foot back on the Hell Ship would be the moment her spirit broke completely, reducing her to a mere shell of herself.
And here she was, locked up at the amusement of yet another arrogant captain. If she couldn't be physically free, then his offer was the only way to end her suffering.
With her decision resolved, she met Sebastian's gaze. “I accept your offer.”
“Good. First tell me the moment you came to be on my ship.”
“No. I accept your other offer.” She almost smiled when his jaw dropped.
Chapter 4
Sebastian felt his face frozen in shock. Had she just agreed to kill herself? He'd only suggested that to scare her into giving him the information he wanted. There was no way he was going to let her kill herself, at least not while the wards were still in place. Was she that desperate to escape wherever it was she had come from?
When he'd told her he planned to take her back, she had given him a look of such misery and…betrayal? He'd almost wanted to take it back. Almost.
Gaining composure, he considered the prospect that she was calling his bluff. She didn't look like she had the courage to commit such an act. His easy smile returned.
The force field masked her in a soft haze. She seemed to shimmer with a glow that made her look ethereal. Earlier, he had scented her sweet arousal and was still trying to recover from its impact.
When she had been on the medical bed, he thought to frighten her into talking by using his naturally commanding voice and large demon body to intimidate her. At first, it looked as though it had worked…then her eyes had grown heated, dilating as she stared at his horns, his lips. Her body had hummed with need. The lids of her eyes had drooped to half-mast. He thought she might kiss him just then, and damn it if that wasn't exactly what he was craving in that moment.
He'd gone instantly hard for her. He had never been caught off guard like that in his life. Everything in him was screaming to claim her. The scent of her desire had been almost maddening.
The doctor hadn't noticed the exchange when he’d interrupted, pulling her gaze away from where Sebastian wanted it. And the man had almost lost his head because of it. It had taken Sebastian a moment, but he’d calmed himself enough to save the doctor’s life. His lower region, however, refused to listen to reason.
She was staring at him now, with those beseeching eyes, and he realized he hadn't said anything for a while.
“Very well.” If she was going to call his bluff, he would call hers right back. “Do you have the strength to walk?”
She nodded. Disengaging the force field, he motioned for her to follow him.
Dr. Oshwald looked appalled. “Captain?”
Sebastian waived him off. The doors swooshed open, and he stepped out into the hallway. Analia timidly followed close behind. His goal was to trick her into thinking he was going to force her to do this. Without a doubt, she would break—he imagined it would be at the last moment—admitting everything he wanted to know and would beg him to allow her to live.
He couldn't imagine her home could be so horrible that she would willingly submit to suicide in order to keep herself from it. Who would hurt such a delicate creature? Who wouldn't strive to make such a beauty content in every way?
At first, he’d suspected her to be some flippant spoiled wife, running away to torment her husband for some trivial thing. But that wouldn't account for her appearance when he'd first found her. Her clothing was nothing but a torn piece of cloth, obviously neglected for some time, suggesting she and her husband might be impoverished.
He peeked at her from the corner of his eye. Her hair was golden with hints of red when struck by light. Her features were not the features of a poor woman. A woman that looked like she did should be on the arm of some wealthy male who would lavish her with gifts and jewelry and anything else she might crave. Perhaps her husband didn't take good care of her. His loss. Sebastian would take her off his hands…for a little while at least. Eventually he would dispose of her in some corner of the universe, before she could become attached.
His gaze dipped to the sorry rags she wore. Dirt filled, ratty, and tattered as it was, it couldn't disguise her natural beauty. In fact, it was just the opposite. It revealed every curve of her body, leaving nothing to the imagination, and it swished seductively against her thighs as she moved.
As they walked—well, he walked; she appeared to glide down the hall—they began to gather a crowd. Sebastian hadn't anticipated the ship’s residents. He rarely walked the halls for pleasure.
People stopped what they were doing in mid-action to gape at the newcomer. He ignored them as best he could. Analia, however, was looking at everything and everyone, as if she were surrounded by the most interesting things in the universe. When they passed by a mother and her child, Analia stopped short and let out a gasp. The child, a small round faced boy with cropped blond hair, smiled sweetly and waved at her, drawing from Analia an amazed giggle. The sound reached something deep inside him, and he couldn't keep from glancing at her. She was smiling too. The sight of it caused him to lose his footing, and he stumbled.
Righting himself, his curiosity of the awe she seemed to be feeling got the better of him. “You act as though you've never seen a child.”
“I haven't,” she stated simply, still smiling at the little boy as they continued past.
“How is that possible?”
She merely shrugged.
He let it drop for now. The entire length of their journey, he allowed her to linger and marvel at anything that caught her eye. Her obvious unfamiliarity with the most common things fascinated him. A small window into space drew her attention for a moment. She looked as though she were savoring it rather than imagining herself out there.
Her nose flared at a fragrance as they passed Marik's galley and the adjoining salon. If a door was open as they passed, she crooked her neck to see more.
Sebastian was sure that anyone who seemed to want to experience all the things around her would never do what she expected him to believe she was about to do.
Eventually they reached the exterior maintenance access chamber. A room that had two hatchways; one hatch closed off the small room from the inner ship and the other, when activated, opened to space. Right now, the room was deactivated, hadn't been used in years.
He led her into to the chamber and pointed to a button. “When the room is sealed, all you need do is press this and the hatch will open.”
Analia regarded the button warily. “That's all?”
“That's all.” He noted her sickened expression and felt he was about to win this battle of wills. “Unless you've changed your mind?”
For a moment, she just stared at the button, then, “No. I'm ready.” Her voice remained steady, almost light in tone. He expected to hear a quiver or a twinge of doubt.
Could she truly mean to do this?
“Do you know what happens to a body o
ut there, without protection?”
She looked him dead in the eyes, hers full of cold understanding, and he knew the truth of it before she spoke. “Yes…I do.” Her tone was grave. He had no doubt that she very well may have witnessed such an event first hand. The revelation dropped his stomach like a solid piece of iron.
While keeping his face blank, he stepped out of the room. She turned to him then, and he prayed she was about to cave, no longer filled with confidence.
“Thank you,” she said. Her eyes were slightly glossed.
Sebastian scowled at her. She was looking at him as if he was doing her a great kindness, instead of ending her life. It felt so wrong.
“Don't thank me for this.” He forced himself to close the door, with only a sliver of hope now that she wouldn’t press that button.
Turning her back, she stood motionless for a heartbeat…two. Sebastian found himself desperate to see her face, to have her look at him so he could implore her to ask for her life.
If she would only ask.
His heart sank as her hand rose above the button. He watched, glued to her actions, as though this were truly a matter of life and death. As if that button would do anything at all. She didn't know this was only a game. Her hand was steady. She accepted as truth, that once her hand came down, her life was over.
* * *
Analia waited as Sebastian exited the small room and closed the door behind him. Her heart was racing in her chest. A lump settled in her throat.
Aside from her body’s reaction to the knowledge that it was about to die, she was at peace. There would be no more fighting, no more suffering. She felt light as though a great burden had, or was about to be, lifted. She wanted to smile and hug Sebastian for this gift, but all she could manage was a simple thank you. And she almost couldn't get that out. He would never know how much she appreciated what he was allowing her.
Sebastian had asked her if she knew what was about to happen to her. She knew all too well. A few years back, Darius had caught one of his crew stealing from him and, as punishment, the offender was thrown into space just as she was about to be now. Darius had made her watch the cruel scene. She remembered him smiling at her as though he were providing her with entertainment.
The only thing she could remember was the torment burned into the poor man's features as he suffocated to death. After several moments, it looked as though something in him had ruptured. Blood seeped from his nose and mouth. His eyes appeared to boil away, his body twisting in agony. He was conscious through all of this. It was a very unpleasant way to die.
When Analia had first discovered what was about to happen to the man, she thought it would be over quickly for him, but it was not quick enough. The poor man's horror-filled face was etched in her mind forever.
Even having the knowledge, Analia was not afraid. It will be over soon, she reassured herself. There would be pain at first, but it would be nothing compared to everything she'd been forced to live through.
Sebastian's face was truly grave when he left the room, and she could only hope that he wouldn't regret giving her this…final freedom.
She raised her hand above the button, excited for the prospect of what was to come in the afterlife.
She let her hand fall.
Nothing happened.
Perhaps she didn't press it hard enough. She pressed it again, still nothing. She pressed harder, using the weight of her entire body. She began to bang her fist against the damn button.
Then the door opened—not the one she was hoping for—and Sebastian entered with a growl. She glared at him and backed away.
“Why?” Anger shook her voice.
“I wanted to know if you were serious,” he sneered, gradually approaching.
Analia kept the distance between them until she was backed against the wall. “You were just playing with me!” It was a statement not a question. Hearing the hurt in her own voice, she was disgusted with herself for believing him. Her stomach retched. Freedom once again ripped from her grasp.
“Why would you want to do that?” His voice was rough and full of venom.
“Why wouldn't I?” she whispered, refusing to elaborate.
“Well?” he demanded.
Full realization hit her. Her eyes closed briefly and her body slumped in defeat. He was going to keep her alive. “Do what you will with me, but I don't have to tell you anything.”
Without warning, he hooked his large hands around her waist and threw her over his shoulder. She gasped with surprise. She thought she should scratch, scream, or bite him to get away, but what good would it do?
She felt the strength of his arm around her legs. His hand on her thigh tightened as if he had read her thoughts. If she could get away, she wouldn't get far, and it would only worsen her situation. In defeat, she allowed her body to fall against him.
Carried all the way back to sickbay, she was once again placed in the little room, force field in place. He stood there for a moment. She refused to look at him. The doctor said nothing at their reappearance, only watched with silent reserve.
Finally Sebastian left the room. She remained where he'd dropped her, filled with a dull detached feeling.
Her little room consisted of only a small cot protruding from the wall with a thin, but plush mattress, a lightweight soft blanket, and a pillow. The pillow’s softness consumed her as she laid her head on it.
Laughing without humor, she realized these were the best accommodations she'd ever had. A few hours passed before she allowed herself to drift into sleep.
* * *
——
* * *
Sometime later, she woke to a woman entering the room, a tray in her hands. The force field was removed briefly and the tray set down on small protruding shelf. The woman who brought it smiled at Analia expectantly.
The aroma of food filled her lungs. It smelled so good. Her stomach grumbled with an impatient demand.
She lifted her body into a seated position and grabbed for the offering.
At the first bite, Analia's taste buds were swimming with delight. On the Hell Ship, she was only given a small amount of sustenance, always ruined scraps or a brown-green blob of something unrecognizable, which was horrid. This was nothing like she'd ever tasted before. Each flavor sang against her taste buds. She eagerly shoveled in another mouthful, and another.
“Analia, right?” The woman was still standing there, staring at her. Analia realized she was shoving food in her mouth like a starved beast. Making an effort to slow herself, she nodded at the strange woman.
She had hair much like Sebastian's, similar in color, styled in two pigtails draping down her front. She had horns as well, though more dainty, which were poking out of her black hair. There was even a similar magenta hue at the base of them. She wore a deep purple strapless top and a short black skirt.
Is that a tail?
Analia marveled as the thin tail swished back and forth. The woman's footwear—also strange—were spiked at the heel.
“I'm Sonya,” the woman said. “It's nice to meet you, Analia.”
Analia swallowed her food. This woman knew her name? She must have spoken to Sebastian. Her guard instantly went up. “Thank you for the food, Sonya,” she said, not sure what else to add, and not wanting to be impolite.
Sonya offered another sweet smile. “You're welcome. Though it's not the best stuff. Prisoners are only allowed whatever is left over.”
Analia eyed the food again. This was the leftovers? She focused on Sonya, who continued to closely inspect her. Analia felt her cheeks heat at the unusual scrutiny, which made her acutely aware of the fact that Sonya was in clean tailored fabrics, while her own clothing was ripped and filthy.
“You're pretty,” Sonya exclaimed. Analia nearly coughed up her food. “No wonder you have his panties in a wad.” She laughed then.
Panties in a wad?
“You know, you're the only person to ever sneak onto our ship…ever,” Sonya emphasized.
“That's pretty impressive,” Sonya continued, cementing Analia's confusion at this odd conversation.
“Thanks?” It sounded more like a question than a term of gratitude.
Sonya laughed at her reply, a carefree sound that was almost foreign to Analia. Pointing to the food, Sonya added, “Next time I'll sneak you something better than leftovers.” With a wink she turned and left Analia to gape after her.
No one had ever spoken to her in such a way. She decided it must be another of Sebastian's tricks. He was determined to know where she'd come from, and that did not bode well for her.
After finishing off the rest of the food, Analia relaxed into the little bed, enjoying her full stomach. The bed was astoundingly comfortable. Even in the brightly lit space she easily fell asleep.
When she woke sometime later, the doctor kept asking how she felt and if she needed anything. She just assured him all was fine and curled into the warm blanket, prepared for a long duration of captivity.
She thought she had recovered from the devastation of Sebastian's trick, until he entered the room. Her outrage returned in full force. She should be grateful, in a way. Instead of attraction, the sight of him now filled her with rage.
* * *
Sebastian almost laughed at the look Analia gave him. Without a doubt, she was imagining scratching his eyes out at this very moment. Though amusing, that was going to make what he was about to do a little difficult.