by Mary Manners
The ranch held so many possibilities. Was that what had drawn Mack here? Was it what would hold Addy and Garrett here in the years to come?
Mack…the memory of him tossed the slightest damper on Addy’s smile. He was gone…forever and ever gone. Could she learn to live without him—really live again without a dark shadow of sadness shielding her heart from the world and those around her? And if she could manage, was it fair to his memory to do just that?
The music segued to a slow, soulful tune, now a few decades old, which showcased an unparalleled depth of love. Addy thought of how the words had once been fresh and new, so contemporary that she and Mack had chosen just that tune for their wedding song…and their first dance together as a married couple.
Sadness seized Addy’s heart. She slumped against the counter.
Why did this happen, God? How can this be?
A rap on the door drew her attention. “Addy, dear, are you in there? It’s Carol. I’ve brought over the vanilla bean ice cream I promised.”
“Please just go away.” Addy rested against the counter as her eyes filled with tears. “I need a little more time. I’m…suddenly in a rough patch again. I don’t know if I can manage this.”
“Yes you can.” The door opened and Carol let herself in. She set a hand-crank ice cream mixer on the counter and eased to Addy’s side. In a moment, Addy found herself gently enfolded in the kindly woman’s embrace. “Oh, honey…yes, you can do this,” Carol murmured.
Addy lifted the hem of her apron to swipe at tears that trailed a path down her heated cheeks. “How?”
“One day—one step—at a time.” Carol pressed a hand to her shoulder. “I heard you singing as I walked up to the porch, Addy. It was lovely.”
“I was singing?” She hadn’t even noticed her voice carried the tune. “Really?”
“Yes. You’re going to be OK.”
“But I don’t feel OK.”
“The feelings will come later. For now, just keep moving…keep dreaming of what tomorrow might bring…of all the plans God still has in store for you and for your son.”
“God doesn’t listen to me anymore. I’ve given up on trying to hold a conversation with Him.”
“Never give up, Addy—never.”
“I don’t understand. You lost a husband, too, Carol. But you’re so…” She struggled for the words to express her feelings. “…content…happy.”
“I’m simply living each day, honey. Now, whether you still trust in it or not, God brought you here for a reason. In His good time, that reason will be revealed to you. But in the meantime, heed this warning: the devil will try his best to steal your joy. Don’t let him, Addy. Just stand firm and don’t allow him to get a foothold.”
****
“Dinner was delicious…a real treat, Addy.” Jace pressed a hand to his belly, now pleasantly full, as he and Addy stepped onto the front porch. A breeze whispered through the willow down the drive, causing its languid arms to dance. On the air, the sweet scent of fresh-mown grass drifted. “Thanks for cooking.”
“I enjoyed it.” Addy gazed up at him as she settled into the glider to the right of the front door. “I had forgotten how much I enjoy whipping up a good, home-cooked meal and sharing it with company.”
“And I forgot how much I enjoy devouring one while I indulge in some good conversation with a pretty woman.”
“Why, thank you for the compliment.”
“It’s the truth. You’re a beautiful woman, Addy—much too beautiful to stay holed-up around this place day in and day out.”
“I’m working on that.”
“I’d like to help you. There’s a Fall Harvest carnival in town next week—the annual festival slated to raise funds for public service agencies such as the fire hall, the sheriff’s office, and area EMTs, and I was wondering if you’d like to head that way with me to check it out. It’s a lot of fun—games and a few rides. I can win you a goldfish.” He laughed.
“I don’t know, Jace…”
“Garrett can come along, if it would make you feel better. It would get him out, help him see there’s something besides rolling pasture and mud holes around here.”
“Really…we hardly know one another, Jace. And I’m…” Addy shook her head. “I’m a mess.”
“You’re a beautiful mess.” Jace sighed softly as he motioned to the seat beside her. “May I?”
“Sure.”
He settled in next to her. “Not knowing one another, well, that’s as good a reason as any to spend a little time together. Will you think about it, at least?”
“I suppose I could do that.”
“Good. I won’t hurt you, Addy. If I even tried, my mom would have my hide.”
That brought a smile. “I imagine she would. Your mom is…really nice.”
“She’s sure taken a liking to you and Garrett.”
“We’re pretty fond of her, too.” Addy craned her neck to look over the pasture. Jace noticed what he was sure she did, as well…Faintly, ever so faintly, the porch lights of his farmhouse glowed in the distance over the rolling pasture. Mom had returned safely home. If Jace knew her, she’d soon settle into bed and fall asleep to the sound of the crickets chirping through a bullfrog serenade.
“She’s a pretty good judge of character.” Jace leaned back and draped an arm across the top rail of the glider. Addy didn’t seem to mind that he’d circled her, so he held steady.
“Well, that’s a relief.” Addy smiled and smoothed a strand of hair back from her cheek. “Maybe there’s hope for Garrett?”
“There’s always hope, Addy. He worked hard today. You have a fine son.”
Footsteps approached. “I heard that,” Garrett said as he came to the doorway. “Thanks, Jace.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’m beat. I’m going to head upstairs and listen to some music before I fall asleep. Is that OK, Mom?”
“Sure.” Addy smiled.
Garrett leaned down to give her a quick hug. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.”
He straightened and turned to Jace. “Thanks for the boots and gloves…and for letting me drive.”
“You did fine. It was nice to have a break from behind the wheel.”
“Yeah.” Garrett nodded as Jace clapped him on the back. “G’night.”
“See you in the morning. Sleep well.”
As the screen door slapped its frame and Garrett disappeared up the stairs, Addy sighed. “I’d say he’ll sleep like a log, judging from the meatloaf he devoured at dinner and the fact that he’s hitting the hay before ten.” She glanced up, nodded slightly. “So you plan to take him with you again tomorrow?”
“Yep, if that’s OK with you. Ranch work never ends. We’ll finish working the fence line, and then I thought we’d tackle a few projects here at the house. I walked the grounds, took a look at things and started a list, but I’d like a little input from you on anything in particular on the inside of the house that you’d like to see done.”
“I don’t expect you to be my handyman, Jace.”
“And I don’t expect to act like one. We’re neighbors, Addy…and moving toward friends. That’s the way I’d like to think of things. Does that work for you?”
“I suppose I’m getting used to the idea.”
“That’s encouraging. I noticed the roof of the garage needs a little shingle repair, and there are several slats along the porch that need replacing before it’s painted. Garrett’s not afraid of heights, is he? He can climb a ladder?”
“He’ll love to climb a ladder and straddle the rooftop with a hammer in hand…it’s me who has a problem with the idea.”
“A city-girl who’s afraid of heights? That’s certainly a paradox.” Jace chuckled softly. “No worries now that you’re here in Atascosa County, though…you can keep your feet planted firmly in the soil. Any other quirks I should know about?”
“Too many to list.”
“That makes two of us.” That brought another ro
und of laughter. Jace settled in and his fingers brushed the nape of Addy’s neck. “We should be able to put a pretty good dent in things before the week is out. Garrett returns to school on Monday?”
“That’s the plan. I have to meet again with the principal first thing that morning.”
“Good. Everything will work out. I don’t expect Garrett will have any more trouble from Derek Rhines.”
“I should hope not.”
“Trust me, Addy. That door is closed. But you should talk to him. He has some things he needs to get off his chest. He told me he misses talking to you.”
“You must think I’m an awful mother.”
“No, I don’t think that for a minute. I just think you’re…human. We all are, and life isn’t always easy. But it keeps moving, so we have no choice but to grab on and hold tight.” Jace caught a strand of dark hair and skimmed the silky length from her cheek with his fingers. “Now, this Sunday we’re heading to church together, so let’s make a few plans...”
“Oh, right.” Addy hesitated. “About that…”
“You’re not backing out, are you?”
“No…maybe…it’s just…” She snatched the hem of her blouse, twisted the fabric until it wrinkled. “Jace, I just don’t know if I can.”
“You won’t know until you try.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.” He winked. “It’s a curse, you know, to be right so often.”
“Show off.” Addy swatted his arm playfully. “Are you going to let Garrett drive your truck again?”
“That did seem to be the highlight of the work day.”
“I can’t imagine why.” She grinned and that cute little dimple at the corner of her mouth winked at him once again. “You knew exactly how to hook him.”
“It was a no-brainer. I’ve been in his shoes, Addy…young and confused and just trying to make sense of the world around me.” Jace looked away, out over the pasture to moonlight that washed the field to silver. “You’re not the only one who’s struggled through dark waters. Do you really want me to go into the ugly details?”
“It’s only fair, Jace…you know so much about me and I don’t know anything, really, about you. Why are you here now? What brought you home? How did you get those scars on your arm? And why—”
“That’s a lot. Can we tackle one bullet at a time?”
“Whatever works for you,” Addy nodded. “In the meantime, would you mind to help me with something?”
“Sure. What do you have in mind?”
“Stay here a minute.” She slowed the glider and scrambled to her feet. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”
“Can I breathe, at least?”
“That would be OK.” Addy held up a finger as she backpedaled toward the house. “Just one minute…”
“OK,” Jace murmured. “Hurry back.”
9
“A little to the right. That’s good. Stay right there.” Addy waved her hand to guide Jace to the edge of the pasture shadow, where moonlight kissed his back. “Perfect.”
She’d found the camera while unpacking boxes that morning and now its shutter snapped once, twice, three times as the wispy arms of the weeping willow tree caressed a gentle breeze while gold columbines danced along the pasture. Light and shadows…they played perfectly into the mix as she captured a few more still-shots. On the breeze, the scent of damp pasture drifted with the rich, heady musk of autumn leaves. Fresh…natural. The mix of earthy fragrances caused a trill of excitement to course the length of Addy’s spine and circle ’round to nestle lightly along the pit of her belly.
The camera felt good in her hands. Addy had forgotten just how much she enjoyed the freedom that came with roaming nature in search of the perfect still. Whether the lazy, cerulean blue of Lake Michigan or the gentle, breezy dance of the Texas columbines that bloomed to bright golden nuggets, she’d never grow weary of capturing memories onto paper.
As Addy paused to stretch kinks from her neck, Jace rounded back to ease in close to her side. His gaze drifted from her to the camera as he asked, “Did I break it?”
“Hardly.” Addy switched the camera to view mode and clicked through what was stored in the memory. With Jace as her subject, along with the massive acreage of their combined properties and all the livestock that roamed the grounds, she’d surely make use of an SD card with massive storage space. “These are good. You make for excellent subject matter.”
His long legs and sculpted torso created intriguing angles against the horizon, while his eyes captured dancing, luminous wisps of moonlight just perfectly beneath the low-dipped brim of a snug, black cowboy hat. “You’d make the perfect hero of a romance novel cover,” she told him as she fast-forwarded through the snapshots. “You’re the very definition of strong and powerful with that enticing, chiseled jawline and eyes tough as steel.”
“You should write ad copy. That’s quite the flattering description.” Jace scrubbed a palm along his jaw as if testing her words. “But, for the record, I don’t want to be a romance novel hero. I just want to be—” Jace paused as if catching himself just as he slipped from the edge of a cliff. “I just want to enjoy this time…with you.”
Did he want more? After all, he’d asked her to church—well, sort of—and to the fall carnival that was slated to take place in town in a week or so.
No, it was crazy to even broach the subject. Addy wasn’t ready for anything of the sort…was she? The fact that she’d even entertained such a thought startled her to the core. Jace stirred a depth of emotions she’d thought had gone forever stagnant. He’d stepped in to help her take care of her son, and the change in Garrett was already palatable. Nothing could possibly stir her heart so powerfully than a man caring for her son.
But she was just now beginning to emerge from the cocoon of her grief. She had to take caution in trusting her feelings. She had no intention of hurting Jace, or anyone else for that matter. And what would Garrett think if yet another s-curve was tossed into the roadway of his life?
“Let me see those.” Jace peered over Addy’s shoulder, an easy feat since he topped her by more than a head. “Are you sure there’s not a crack in the viewfinder?”
“Not yet.” Addy hid the camera behind her back. “Look, there’s Charlie. She wandered down to the fence line for a visit.”
The calf loped lazily along the fence, pausing every few moments to chew at the grass.
“I noticed she’s beginning to make a habit of roaming between our properties. Maybe she’s telling us it’s time to tear down the fence and join forces.”
Join forces, now there’s a thought…
“I hardly think so.” Addy collected herself, rolling a bite of tension from her shoulders. This was heading in a direction for which she found herself totally unprepared. “But I’d like to snap a few shots of her, regardless. She’s a cute little thing…well, maybe not so little, but definitely cute.” Addy headed that way, the camera tucked carefully in her hand. When she reached the fence, she swung a leg over the top rail and shimmied down to the other side. “Can you round her up for me?”
“Sure.” Jace took the fence in a single leap. He went after the calf but the animal bolted as if she was ready for a game of freeze tag. Undeterred, Jace took off after her, calling, “Come here, Charlie.”
“Get her, Jace.”
“I’m trying.” He picked up the pace and jogged after the calf, whistling between his teeth. “Come on, girl…give me a break.”
“That’s some cattle call.” Addy giggled as she lifted the camera and began to snap photos of the pursuit. “Highly effective. Did they teach you that impressive technique at the rodeo, Jace?”
“Very funny.”
“Keep going.” Snap…snap…the shutter clicked as Addy went into action once again. She knelt into the dirt, planting herself as the photo-ops rolled out like the red carpet on Oscar night. “This is perfect.”
“Perfect, huh?” Jace suddenly
changed direction to head back her way. “It’s my turn now, Addy.” As he jogged by, he snatched the camera from her hand and directed the lens toward her. “Smile.”
“No,” Addy squealed, scrambling toward the opposite direction. Moonlight veiled the creek in a shimmer of silver. “Give that back to me.”
“Typical.” Snap…snap. “Every photographer I’ve ever known loves snapping shots, yet despises having their picture taken. What’s up with that?”
“We’re a finicky lot. We like to be in control.” Addy lunged for the camera but came up empty-handed. She frowned. “Come on, Jace…there might be another mud hole. I don’t want to fall in.”
“No mud holes around here, Addy. Garrett and I checked. And it hasn’t rained in a couple of days now, so that’s an invalid excuse, anyway. Try something else. What are you gonna do?”
“I’m not doing anything. You’re handing the camera back to me before you destroy it, Jace Baldwin, and we’re deleting every one of those pictures of me that you took. Or I’ll...”
“You’ll what, Addy?”
“Jace!” Addy’s voice echoed from the ridge as she chased after him. “Give that camera back to me this instant or I’m…I’m…well, I’ll march straight to your house to tell your mother.”
“So you’re a tattletale, are you?” The gleam in his eyes clearly stated the challenge as he cross-cut through a swatch of columbine to head her way. “I might have imagined as much. Well…we’ll just see about that.”
With three giant strides, Jace turned to close the distance to Addy. He handed her the camera, and then caught her around the waist and lifted her high into the air, twirling her toward the sky.
Addy squealed as she spun; her fear of falling kicked in. But Jace held her tight, secure, and she felt suddenly weightless and completely liberated in his arms. Her eyes drifted closed and with her arms stretched wide and the camera strap dangling in the breeze, she embraced the feeling of freedom.
She lowered her head toward Jace when he quickened the pace and her shrieks slowly turned to laughter.
****
“I heard you with my mom last night.” Garrett said to Jace as they headed into town for supplies. “What’s going on with the two of you?”