Forgive Me (Clean and Wholesome Romance)

by N. T. Smith

  She really did pass up the one chance that she had with the perfect man, all because she screwed up and didn’t realize his true feelings, and that what he was showing her was love. He might not have been romantic, but he was a man who cared a whole lot about her. It was perfect, but she didn’t realize the perfection when she saw it. The reality of the situation hit her like a ton of bricks, and she knew that it was time to stop playing pretend and being a princess, and it was time to live her life.

  How did she do that though? How does one get past all of this? She really didn’t know for sure, and the only thing that she could do right now was to just wait and see.

  She then thought about Peter, and she wondered what he was doing. Maybe he would turn out okay, maybe he would find his own girl that understood him. She thought about maybe going online and sending him a message. She remembered his name on certain sites, and maybe they could reconnect.

  “No. It’s not right. I wasn’t the right one for him. Even if he did take me back, I didn’t want that to happen. I already hurt him enough already, and I needed to do my won growing up,” she said to herself.

  In reality, she thought about the truth. She knew that she did care about Peter, and he probably did still love her. If she could turn back the clock, she would’ve stayed with him and chosen him over Tommy. Of course, live doesn’t work that way, and the reality of the situation is that she screwed up, and the only thing that can be done now is to face the past, and to end things with Tommy.

  She then went back over to his home, knocking on the door before entering. Tommy was in his study, looking at her with a glance.

  “Well? What do you think?” he asked with a snappy tone.

  “You know what? You were right. I was a fool for actually thinking that you were the man for me. I threw away the potential for a great relationship because I was an idiot and thought that you were the one for me. But you know what? I’m done with that. I’m ready to end this. I’m done with you, and honestly, I not only hate you, but I hate myself as well,” she told him.

  He closed what he was working on, staring at her with a glance.

  “Well, maybe you’ll grow up and realize what you want. I don’t want your immaturity around here anymore,” he said.

  “And I don’t want your cold stance in my world either. We’re too different, and it’s not going to work out. That’s that. So let’s finish this, I hope you have a nice life, and I hope that Nancy realizes what you’re really like before she gets in too deep,” she said to him.

  “Actually, we’ve already been talking. We’ve already moved on, and I hope that you can as well,” he said to her.

  She couldn’t believe that Tommy was already with another woman! The shock of this was a bit surprising. She thought that he would do so, but not this fast and not with Nancy after what had happened. She felt extremely unconfident, but she tried to feign it.

  “Well, I guess that’s the end of that,” she replied.

  They went to the courthouse and started the divorce proceedings. They separated, and Cindy moved back into her parent’s home. It was a shocker at first to be back here, but her parents gave her the space that she needed. It’s not like she had anyone else to turn to either, because she didn’t feel like bothering Peter, and Nancy was out of the question after what she did.

  Cindy didn’t feel confident now, and the only stable thing in her life was her feet. The only thing that Cindy could think about was how she really did mess everything up, how she managed to let the one good thing she’s had in her life get away, the only thing that she felt was numb, the only thing that Cindy could see right now was darkness, and it was awful for her. She hoped that this would go away, but she knew this mistake wouldn’t disappear for a very long time, and she would have to pay the price for the rest of her life.

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  Chapter 6

  Peter was at home for one of his holiday breaks. He got a job as an engineer and was successful. It was strange that he had gone for so long and hadn’t even bothered to visit this place, but there was a reason for that. She was here probably, and he would rather not run into her.

  It had been years since they broke up, but it still hurt him. It was about two years now, and it felt like it was a long time ago, almost like another life. Of course, since then, he never had a girlfriend. He also didn’t really talk to Joe all that much, because when he did, it reminded him of Cindy, which wasn’t good. He didn’t want to be reminded of that past, so he tried his best to not get the casual reminders from the other guy by not visiting him.

  Of course, this time it was a holiday break. Christmas was in a few days, and he wondered how Cindy was doing. He couldn’t believe it had been so long, and a part of him yearned to at least talk with Cindy. He didn’t want to believe that it was over, but of course, he wasn’t going to hold her back. If this was the life that she wanted, then so be it.

  He was sitting in his room, studying up on a new project. His father was at the restaurant, dealing with the last of the holiday rush, and his mother was out shopping for Christmas. He got a call, and when he looked at the name, he immediately felt shocked.

  It was Joe. He didn’t bother to contact Peter for whatever reason since everything had panned out. He wondered how the guy was doing. He picked up the phone, punching the green button and holding it to his ear.

  “Hey there,” he said.

  “Hey. Can you come over? Or maybe I can meet up with you? It’s about Cindy. I know the two of you aren’t together, but you were a friend, and I need to tell you about what had happened,” Joe replied. His voice was distressed, and Peter could tell immediately this wasn’t good.

  “Come on over. We have some catching up to do anyways,” Peter said.

  They hung up the phone, and within minutes Joe was over. The two of them sat in the backyard, and Joe looked at his best friend.

  “I feel bad for not talking with you. Things got messy though, and I didn’t want to bring up the past. Plus I got busy with work and stuff. Did you hear I’m the junior manager of the office now?” he asked Peter.

  “I heard. How is Cindy doing though? You told me something bad had happened,” Peter replied. He wanted to cut to the chase.

  “Right. Well remember how she got married to that dude right? That Tommy who said she was his princess? Well, apparently he cheated on her, and the two of them got divorced. I’ve tried to get Cindy to go to work, and she did that for a little bit, but the truth of the matter is, it’s not working. It really isn’t working, and I don’t know what to do about this. I’m scared. She’s my sister, my friend, and I know that if she needs someone right now, you’re the one person I could think of,” he said.

  “Wait, so Tommy cheated on her? They just got married? What is this?” Peter said. He was frustrated. He couldn’t believe the woman that he loved was treated like that. How could he hurt her like that? What in the world is going on? Peter looked distressed, but Joe shook his head.

  “I don’t know. Apparently he was only using Cindy for whatever reason. He didn’t love her, they got into a fight, and he filed for divorce. She went with it because I told her she needed to start over, but I feel terrible for her. I mean, I would hate to be in her shoes right now. I just wish that someone could help her, bring her back to snuff, make her happy again. I miss happy Cindy, and I don’t know what to do,” he told Peter.

  “Well I’m going to see Tommy for myself and give that man a piece of my mind. He has no right to hurt her like that,” Peter said.

  Joe nodded. “Fine by me. He works in town. Some shiny office I have no desire to do business with. We can head over there. I’ll stay in the car,” Joe said.

  Peter agreed. He was angry with the man, but mostly angry with himself. Why hadn’t he checked on her? Sure she told him that she didn’t want to see him again, and that she didn’t want to be with him, but it still hurt him to think that he didn’t know about this until now. It really freaking bothered him.
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  They got in the car, and after a couple of minutes, they were at the office. When they got there, Joe parked, looking at Peter with a glance.

  “Be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you dead or anything,” he warned Peter.

  “You won’t. I’m just giving this man a piece of my mind, and I want to ask him why in the world he hurt her,” Peter replied with a solid stare.

  Joe knew there was no way in telling him no. He would have to sit here and wait for the result. Peter then went over to the elevator of the office, heading on up. When he got to the office, he pushed the door open, not even caring if he interrupted a meeting or anything.

  “Yes?” Tommy said. His voice was cold, and when he looked at Peter, his eyes narrowed.

  “Who are you?” he asked him. He didn’t remember this man.

  Peter wasn’t going to tell Tommy who he was yet, but rather he punched the man in the face.

  “I can’t believe you. I really can’t,” he said.

  “Who the heck are you?” the other man spat, looking at Peter with an angry glance.

  “I’m Peter, Cindy’s ex. I heard about what you did to her, how you cheated on her and then willy-nilly brushed it off. I can’t believe you, I really can’t. Why in the world would you hurt her, why can you hurt her? She loved you a lot, and you’re a cruel human being for thinking that,” Peter said.

  Tommy punched Peter in the stomach, and Peter let out a shocked gasp.

  “Because, I don’t love her anymore, that’s why. I don’t care for her, so if you want to run over and take care of her, then so be it. I’m sick of worrying about her, and I hate that you’re some stupid man who randomly came to her rescue. Mind your own business!” Tommy cried out

  Peter gave him the finger and then walked out, tired of his lies, the way he manipulated people, and when he got to the car, he looked at Joe with a glance.

  “You okay?” Joe asked.

  “Been better, but I got my punch in. I’m still pissed though. I can’t believe he did that to Cindy, the one person that I cared a lot about,” he told Joe.

  “I know, but I think you should see her. I mean, she’s at home. She hadn’t done a whole lot recently. I’ll bring her over. You stay put at home. I think it’s better if you guys just take it slow, look at one another, and just say what you need to say. Just do what you got to do,” Joe said.

  Peter knew the man was right. That’s what he wanted, to be the right type of guy for Cindy, to sweep her off her feet and make her happy. That’s all he wanted, and he knew that Tommy would never do that. He hurt her in ways he couldn’t believe himself, in ways he couldn’t believe another man would hurt a human being.

  It angered him to no end to think about this, so he tried his best to avoid the issue. But the hatred for Tommy did bubble up within him. However, he needed to see Cindy first.

  When she came over, Joe drove away, and she looked really unconfident. Peter would talk with her about that later, but she definitely didn’t seem very happy. Her head was down, and she looked sick.

  “Hey there,” she said with a small voice.

  Peter didn’t respond with words, but rather he wanted his actions to speak for her right now. He realized at that moment that he still loved her, and that he wanted to be the one to protect her.

  “Hey there,” Peter replied after he pushed his arms around her. He hugged her tightly, and Cindy just stayed there. She seemed almost like a brick wall. What in the world had that man done to her. This wasn’t the Cindy that he knew and loved, but rather a fraction of the person she used to be. She seemed lost, unsure, and Peter hated that.

  He hugged her tighter, realizing that he did love her a lot still. All of those feelings she tried to bury from a long time ago came flooding back like a deluge of water. It was nice to feel this again, and in a way it felt like the right thing to do.

  They stayed like that for a moment, and then he pulled away, looking at her.

  “I wanted to talk to you. I want to start again with you. To take care of you, to help you. I want to ask you if you can give me a second chance. I know a lot has happened, and I know that you’re going to need to take some time to find yourself, but I want to be there for you. I want to be yours,” he told her.

  Cindy looked at him, her voice quiet and unsure. She didn’t feel confident in herself anymore. For the most part, she spent her days crying, feeling unsure of what to do next with herself. It didn’t feel like the right thing to be, for she knew that it was going to be hard for her to feel confident again. She was insecure about who she was, not sure if she would anger him or not if she did act like a princess. She felt like being a princess was wrong, and she realized at this moment that the princess complex she adopted for so long was nothing more than a stupid fairy tale that she used to make herself feel better with time.

  “I can’t. I can’t do it right now. I’m so sorry,” she said.

  “Why not? I’m not going to hurt you Cindy. I know what that man did. Joe told me all about it, and I regret that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most. But please, let me make it up to you. I never had a girlfriend since we broke up, because I still love you, I love you a lot, and I want to take care of you. I want to show you once again that it’s not bad to be treated right,” he told her.

  Cindy shook her head. “I know you are a good person, I know that you love me and you’ve forgiven me, but this isn’t about you this time. This is about myself. I honestly haven’t forgiven myself. I hate myself for hurting you, for throwing you away for such a childish reason. To be honest, I hate myself for everything that I did to you. You deserve someone better than me, and I hope that you find that person someday. Right now, I need to figure out what to do with myself, because I feel like I’m not important to anyone anymore,” she said to Peter.

  “You are important Cindy. You’re very important to me, and I care about you a lot. I don’t want you to think that you’re just someone who’s going to fly out of my thoughts within a moment or so. To be honest, I realized that I should’ve been better towards you. I was young and stupid. I mean, this time I will take care of you, to try to be a better person. I may not be a romantic man, but I’ll make sure that you’re taken care of and loved by me. So please, will you give me another chance?” he asked her.

  Cindy wanted to, but she didn’t even know if she could at that moment.

  “I can’t. I can be your best friend. But I can’t be your girlfriend right now. It’s too hard on me, and I have a lot of baggage to take care of mentally. I don’t want you to suffer as well,” she replied.

  Peter wanted to argue, to tell her that he was willing to work with her and actually make things better for them. But he knew that he would have to earn her trust and work out how to make her happy once again. She was suffering, and he could see that. He hated to admit it, but he didn’t want to be a bother for her.

  “Sure. Let’s do that. I’ll be your friend,” he said.

  “Yeah. I just don’t feel ready for a relationship,” she admitted. The pain of her divorce, and the words that he said to her made her wonder if there was something that she would ever get over. After all of that, the last thing she wanted to do was to get into another relationship. Right now, she would rather be alone for the rest of her life than have to worry about suffering again.

  “That’s fine by me. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there. But I want to take care of you. I want to help you even if it doesn’t mean that we’ll be in a relationship together. I know that it’s something that I’m going to have to deal with, but to be honest, I want to just see you happy and doing well over anything else,” he replied.

  She looked at him, giving a very faint smile. “Thank you,” she replied.

  He hugged her once again, and he realized that it was going to take a lot for her to get back to who she was before. He could also see that she was a lot skinnier than ever before, and it worried him as well. She was never this skinny before, and it worried her. He
r skin also looked very pale as well, and it worried him.

  “Well don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you,” he told her.

  “Thank you,” she breathed.

  They stayed like that, hugging for now. Even though they weren’t in a relationship, it was obvious that this would be one of the most important moments for her right now. It was obvious that things were about to get interesting once again, and he hoped that no matter what, he could be there for her and hopefully save her from the madness that she got sucked into.

  Chapter 7

  About a month had passed since everything had gone on, and Peter did visit her often. He managed to get a job transfer to another plant, and now he was a successful engineer. He did come to see her a lot, and she was happy with that.

  Since the divorce, Cindy hadn’t felt like she needed another home. She went to live with her parents. She hated that it was happening like this, that she had to go to her parents and live with them, but right now, she couldn’t live anywhere else. She tried to work, but it was hard. Her parents understood, and her father took over most of the duties of the business while she recuperated. Still though, Cindy felt like she was going to be a mess forever, that the wounds of the divorce would never heal, and the words that cut her like a knife would resonate with her forever, haunting her every thought.

  She still thought about it after all this time. She remembered the moment when he told her to stop acting like a princess, and that he never wanted that. It scared her every time she thought about that, especially since she didn’t really know what to do at this point. She didn’t know what her parents would think if she decided to live with them for a while. Already she had felt like wanting to leave everyone a couple of times, mainly because she didn’t know what to do with herself. It scared her that she had all of these thoughts, but she knew for a fact that the only thing to do for now as to take each day at a time and figure things out.