by Carl Weber
“What do you mean, so? He saw me with your thing in my mouth,” she said. “I don’t think you understand how embarrassing that was.”
“I do, but you don’t understand how much I want you.” I came up with a compromise. “Why don’t we just go somewhere and park before you have to go home, then I’ll come back and study?”
“I can’t.” She pulled out her final argument: the Daddy card. “Daddy’s having company and I promised my mother I’d help get everything together.” Donna popped up and began to gather her things.
I took her hand. “Donna, please. I really need this.” This was getting old. I hated the fact that I was begging the woman I loved to be intimate with me when other women who I didn’t give a shit about would damn near throw themselves at me.
“LC, let’s just wait until this weekend when you get paid. We can have dinner, go see the show, then go to a hotel. It’ll be fun. I promise.” She picked up her books and kissed me on the cheek. I couldn’t believe that once again she was going to leave me high and dry. I tried to think of what Lou would do in a time like this. Lou was a master at using reverse psychology to guilt women into sleeping with him.
“Promises, promises,” I mumbled under my breath. “What I shoulda done was take Missy Wilkens up on her offer.”
“And what offer was that?” Donna snapped with attitude, placing a hand on her hip.
There was no doubt I had her attention. Now all I had to do was execute the plan.
“Huh? Oh, nothin’,” I replied coyly, lowering my head. Donna couldn’t stand Missy and I knew it. She’d caught Missy cheating with her last boyfriend.
“LC Duncan, if you don’t tell me what that slut Missy said, so help me . . .”
“She ain’t say nothing, Donna. Just forget about it. I’ll see you later.” I opened my textbook and pretended to read.
She grabbed me by the ear and started to squeeze, threatening me with, “If you don’t stop lying to me, so help me I will rip your ear off.”
“All right, all right,” I said, pulling her hand off my ear. She was digging her nails in and that shit was starting to hurt for real. It didn’t stop me from telling her another lie, though. “Missy said that when I’m finished messing with little girls and ready for a real woman, I should give her a call.”
“Oh, she did, did she?” She let go of my ear, staring me like she’d just caught me in the act. “So is that what you think, that I’m not a real woman?”
“I didn’t say tha—”
She cut me off. “You didn’t have to, LC. I know how men think. All y’all want is to get your little dick sucked. But that’s not what relationships are all about. Did you at least tell her we were engaged?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “No. Was I supposed to?”
Her eyes welled up with tears. “What do you think?” She stomped off toward the exit.
It took me a moment to realize that this whole thing had just blown up in my face. I jumped up and gave chase, damn near running over a woman on my way out the library door. When I saw my brother Lou, I might just punch him in the face. Reverse psychology my ass.
By the time I caught up to her, Donna was getting in her car. “Donna, wait. Please.”
She stood there gawking at me as if there she wanted to ask something but was afraid of the answer. Finally she whispered, “Did you sleep with her? Did you sleep with Missy?”
“No, I swear.”
I could see the relief in her eyes as she shot off another question. “Did you think about it? Did you think about sleeping with her?” The answer was no, but I’d hesitated for a split second longer than I should have, and by then it was too late. Donna had already jumped to her own conclusion. “Well, then you need to call her.”
“But—but Donna, I didn’t.” She stepped in her car without another word, locking the door as I reached for the handle. I watched her put the car in gear.
“Donna, dammit, don’t leave. Donna, please . . . Fuck!” She barely looked at me as she sped off, leaving me standing in her dust. I stood there in disbelief for almost five minutes, waiting for her to return. She didn’t.
I walked back in the library and sat down at the table where I’d left my books. I wanted to go home and wallow in self-pity, but despite my girlfriend problems, I still had an exam the next day and I had to study. I opened my economics book.
Ten minutes into my studying, I looked up to see that someone was sitting at the other end of the table. I’d been so lost in the complicated theories on the page that I hadn’t noticed her come to the table, but now that I saw her, I had to do a double take.
“Chippy?” I said tentatively. She had on a head scarf and wasn’t wearing quite as much makeup as when we first met, but it was her. “Is that you?”
“Oh, so now it’s all right for you to notice me in public?” I didn’t know it was possible to whisper with attitude, but she managed to do it. I chose to ignore her tone and stay friendly. I’d already had one conversation with a female blow up in my face, so I would keep this one peaceful if I could help it.
“My apologies. I didn’t see you sitting there,” I said, hoping my smile would soften her up.
“I’m not talking about now. I’m talking about twenty minutes ago when you damn near ran me over running after that girl. What’d she do, rob you or something?”
“Oh, that was you. I’m so sorry.” I realized how whipped I must have looked running behind Donna’s ass like a puppy. “I was chasing after my girlfriend. We had a little fight.”
“From the way you chased her down and she sped away, I’d say it was more than a little fight.”
“I didn’t think you saw all that.” I felt my face burning from embarrassment.
“This is a small town. You’ve got to get your entertainment where you can find it.” She giggled, and for the first time I saw her as a woman and not a—
“So what are you doing here?” I blurted out. I just couldn’t keep the surprise out of my voice. My eyes traveled down to the books piled in front of her. Judging from the titles, it looked like she was studying geography.
“As opposed to what, lying on my back or getting on my knees? I do both, you know,” she snapped in a voice loud enough for heads to swivel in our direction. When I glanced back to her, she was giving me a look to let me know that I deserved that.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Yes it was. It was all over your face,” Chippy replied, looking me up and down like she was finally figuring me out. She moved like she was about to stand up and leave, but I spoke up fast, hoping to stop her.
“What I meant was I’ve never seen you here. And no, you just don’t seem like the type that spends your free time around a bunch of bookworms like me. However, I’m sorry. Considering I’m a Duncan, I should be the last to judge a book by its cover.”
“Good recovery.” She picked up a book from the pile in front of her like she was dismissing me. Instead of leaving her alone, I began to shuffle through her choices.
“The Treasures of London, Rome on a Budget, Paris is for Lovers? The Architecture of New York City?” I said, reading the titles out loud. She was a mystery to me before, but the more I learned about this woman, the less I knew.
“What?” she answered without looking at up from the book she was reading. I thought I understood why she was doing that. Her lack of eye contact kept up a wall between us. One of the things I’d been good at since I was little was reading folks, but this Chippy didn’t make that easy.
“You going someplace?” I asked, prying for more information about this mysterious woman.
“I’m planning on it, when Sam and I get enough money. Did you think I work at Big Sam’s because I like it?” She finally made eye contact. “Paris, London, Rome, New York . . . ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of running away and seeing the world. Now I’m gonna do it.”
Normally I would have just ended the conversation with a woman like this who carried herself with such an at
titude, but I felt no desire to leave now. In spite of the fact that she sold her body for a living, I wanted to get to know this woman’s mind. Something about her intrigued me.
“Well, it sounds like you have a plan,” I said, hoping she would continue the conversation.
“I’m sure someone smart like you has plans to see the world too.”
“Nope. All I ever wanted to do was to get my degree in business and go to New York. My brother Lou goes all the time on business, but I don’t want to just visit. I wanna live there.”
“To do what?” she asked, closing her book and no longer trying to avoid eye contact.
“I’ve got this thing for cars. One day I wanna go there and open up a big-time car dealership like those guys on the Black Enterprise 100 list.”
She nodded and said, “After John Johnson, those auto dealers are always near the top of the list.”
I almost fell out of my chair. She was the first woman I’d ever met who knew what the BE 100 list was, let alone who was on it.
“Well, if you ever need a part-time secretary or bookkeeper, let me know. I was the best typist in my school before I dropped out.”
I stared at her, wondering if I could ask the question I really wanted to ask without her slapping my face.
Chippy
11
“Chippy, why do you sell your body? You’re better than that.”
It was the same question I’d asked myself a million times, and here I was, sitting across the table from LC Duncan as he stared at me, waiting for a response.
Sam had given me the afternoon off after I saved him from Big Shirley and her big-ass knife. It wasn’t like there was a whole lot to do with my free time in Waycross, so I strolled over to the library, where I knew I could get some peace and quiet. That’s when I saw LC. At first he brushed past me, chasing behind some woman who looked pretty pissed off. When he came back into the library, the woman was nowhere in sight, and LC was so preoccupied that it took him ten minutes to even notice me.
The conversation between us was a little tense at first, but I’ll admit that some of that was because of the chip on my shoulder. Most men I met weren’t interested in conversing with me, so needless to say, I didn’t trust them much. LC was persistent, though, and his conversation was so friendly and non-threatening that I found myself loosening up pretty quickly. And then he took it to the one place I didn’t want to go.
The look on his face was one of confusion, not judgment, as he waited for me to answer his question. I stared back at him, wondering why in the world I would even consider explaining my choices to a man I barely knew. Then I realized why: I could use a friend, and unlike everyone else I’d met in Waycross, LC seemed to genuinely give a fuck.
I glanced around and realized that the library had started to get crowded. Even if I’d decided to open up to LC, I didn’t want the whole world knowing my business. “You mind if we take a walk?”
He nodded, and I stood up, leaving my books on the table. LC and I walked out of the library and headed down Lee Street, a pretty, tree-lined block.
“Love,” I said with a sigh when we were about halfway down the block.
“Excuse me?” He stopped walking and turned to face me.
“You asked me why I’m a whore, and the answer is love. I’m doing it for love.”
I braced myself for his laughter, but he surprised me when he nodded and said, “I kind of figured that.”
“You did?”
“First time I saw you was in Sam’s office. The way you looked at him made me jealous.”
I raised an eyebrow. He was confusing me. “Jealous? Why?”
“Because the only thing I ever wanted was for my girl Donna to look at me that way.”
“Oh.” It was all I could say, because I didn’t have the heart to tell him that based on what I’d seen earlier in the library, I didn’t think he was going to get much tenderness from her anytime soon.
“So, here’s what I don’t understand,” he said. “How do you love a man who makes you sell your body for him?”
I felt my temper rising a little. Who was this guy to question Sam’s motives or his love for me? Sure, what we had was a little unconventional, but what did LC with his perfect little stuck-up girlfriend know about real life? Some people had to make tough choices for love.
“That’s all I have to give him,” I said defensively. “I’m a whore because that’s what I can do to help him for now.”
“But you’re worth so much more than that. Doesn’t it bother you that he’s got all those other girls around?” he asked.
I sucked my teeth, trying to conceal the truth, which was that I felt a stab of jealousy every time Sam touched one of the other girls. I told LC the same thing I told myself all the time: “What I have with Sam is completely different from what they have with him.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, really.” I felt myself getting fired up. Why was LC pushing this issue? “Look, the only reason I’m doing this job is for my man, so that we can make enough money to get the hell out this place.”
I guess there was enough attitude in my voice to let LC know it was time for him to change the topic. “So that’s why you reading all those travel books?”
“Yeah, Sam and I are going to travel the world together one day. See Bora Bora and the Eiffel tower. Hell, we might even take ourselves to the Great Wall of China.” I laughed at the idea of Sam and me with all those Chinese people.
LC wasn’t laughing with me. He had a serious look on his face, and he stayed quiet for a minute as we turned around and started walking back toward the library.
Back at our table in the library, we opened our books and started reading again, but the silence between us didn’t last too long. He leaned across the table and whispered, “Aren’t you worried that he’s taking advantage of your love for him?”
I shook my head emphatically. “Don’t many people know Sam the way that I do. He’s not as tough as he seems. He’s had a hard life, and most of the women he’s loved, including his own momma, have disappointed him. I’m not going to be one of those. You know how in church they say to give your life over to God? Well, I found something better to give my life to. I committed my life to the church of Big Sam, and he’s the one I plan to worship for the rest of my life.” Maybe my devotion sounded extreme, but if LC was going to keep questioning my man, I was going to leave no doubt how I felt about Sam.
“That’s deep. So you’d do anything for him?” LC asked me.
“Isn’t that obvious? I already am, and I don’t care what anybody thinks. When you love somebody, you can’t sit on the fence deciding you’ll do X for them but not Y. You have to be down with them in their corner like every day is a war between the two of you and the rest of the world. I’m either going to give you everything and call that love, or I’ll give you nothing and you can fuck off.” I glanced around the room to see if anyone had heard my salty language, but the people around us had their faces buried in books, and they were paying us no mind. I continued, whispering fiercely, “So, yeah, I love Sam, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to support him. Anybody got a problem with that can kiss my black ass.”
LC put his hands together and briefly applauded after my little speech. At first I thought he was mocking me, but he actually had a smile on his face. “If I had a woman like you, I’d probably run the world.”
“Probably,” I said with a laugh, enjoying the attention and his compliment.
“Big Sam is a lucky man. I hope he knows it.”
I could hear a touch of skepticism, but I ignored it. Other than Sam, LC was the nicest man I’d met since I left home. He was definitely the first one who wasn’t trying to get into my panties.
“Well, that Donna isn’t doing too bad for herself neither,” I told him.
He scrunched up his face. “Why can’t she see that?” he asked. “She just isn’t in my corner like you are with Sam—and I’m ready to marry that woman.”
/> His statement made me think of all those snooty girls back home with their legs zipped shut until their wedding day then doling out sex to their husbands like it was a reward. I hated the games women played, especially when they were lucky enough to land a good man. That’s why their men ended up in places like Big Sam’s every chance they got. Maybe someday I’d have a chance to talk to Donna to make her understand how to keep the good man she had.
“Wanna go get some food?” I asked. “I’m hungry.”
He hesitated for a quick second, and I realized that it was stupid of me to even have asked. LC was friendly and all, but he was a college boy, and I was sure he didn’t really want to be seen in public with me. What if someone spotted us and told his girlfriend?
I was about to rescind my stupid offer when he surprised me by saying, “Sure, why not. It’s not like I can concentrate on this test anyway. I know a great spot for some fried chicken and biscuits.”
“Sounds good to me.” I started to gather my books to return them to the librarian.
“What sounds good?” We both looked toward the harsh voice that belonged to his fiancée. This sister was standing there, arms folded across her chest, looking completely bent out of shape.
LC looked like he was about to pass out, although I doubt she noticed, because she was busy boring holes into me with her harsh stare. Whereas before I was thinking about giving her some friendly advice about keeping her man, now I had nothing but contempt for this snooty heifer.
“Donna, you came back,” LC said weakly.
She turned her attention to him, and the scowl fell off her face. “I thought about it, and my mother’s dinner party can wait,” she cooed in this overly dramatic voice she must have picked up from one of those corny-ass white movie stars. If she had to use that shit in real life at a place like Big Sams, she’d probably starve to death. “It’s time I reminded you why I’m the only real woman in your life.” She shot a glance in my direction.
The smile on his face lit that brother up like a Christmas tree. I’m sorry, but I had to laugh.
“Yeah,” I interrupted, “if you were a real woman you wouldn’t have to remind him of shit, ’cause you’d be putting it on his ass every night. But of course I wouldn’t have to tell you that, would I?”