by Carl Weber
“Momma! Momma!” I yelled as I tried to move his heavy body off of me. He weighed more than two hundred and fifty pounds, and I couldn’t get him to budge.
The door flung open and a light came on. My mother was standing there in her nightgown. Seeing her husband lying there dead on top of me, her expression darkened and she went cold. The look that she gave me made me feel as though someone had shot ice into my veins. And then she started screaming.
“What have you done?” She rushed toward me, scooping him up in her arms and trying to shake him awake. It was too late, and I for one wasn’t the least bit sorry.
Relieved to be free, I scurried away from him. I watched her gently caressing his face and kissing his lips as she tried to revive him. “Willie, baby, wake up. Wake up, honey. Charlotte, what have you done?”
“I did what I should have done when I was twelve years old and that monster raped me the first time. I killed him!” I cried out. I just wanted her to stop hugging him and, for once in her life, throw her arms around me and be my mother.
“Shut up! Shut up, you whore. My husband was a good man!” she howled, still defending the worthless son of a bitch. “You’re going to pay for this. You are going to jail.”
“And I will let every person in this entire town know that not only did he rape me since I was twelve years old, but you knew and you never did anything to stop him.” As I said the words that I hoped were not true, the look of guilt on her face told me otherwise. She had known all along and did nothing to protect me. “I’m going to tell everyone how you pretended to be asleep at night so that your husband could fuck me!”
Willie’s head flopped down, and she rushed at me. Her hands moved a thousand miles a minute, landing on me like lethal weapons.
“You are evil! Evil!” She reared back and whacked me across the face with a blow that almost made me tumble backward. I felt like she had knocked my teeth loose.
My mother grabbed me with a force I didn’t see coming. Her arms clasped around my throat as she attempted to choke the life out of me. I started to feel lightheaded, but there was no way I would let her kill me. Not after all I had done to live. So, I wrestled myself out of her grip.
“How could you do this to me? I was a child! Your fucking child!” I shouted, my head buzzing with rage. I slammed her against the wall, taking her head in between my hands. I kept pounding it into the wall. “I would never do that to a child. Never! Never!” I screamed, slamming her head until she went limp and her body slipped from my hands onto the floor in a heap.
I don’t know how long I stood there shaking, but I knew something inside of me had died. I felt nothing after what I had done.
Everything felt mechanical, as if I were having an out of body experience. I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I didn’t know what to do, but I did know someone who would, so I picked up the phone and dialed zero.
“Operator, I would like a number in Waycross, Georgia. Duncan Brothers Service Station,” I asked.
She gave me the number and I dialed it robotically.
“Duncan Brothers, this is NeeNee speaking.” Her bubbly voice sounded like it was coming from a television screen.
“NeeNee,” I mumbled, not recognizing the sound of my own voice.
“Chippy? What’s wrong?” she asked, obviously hearing my terror.
“I need your help. I’ve done something horrible.”
Instead of losing her cool or even hanging up on me, she said, “Okay, stay calm. Where are you?”
LC
34
I pulled off I-95 and followed the signs to Fayetteville at about three in the morning. She didn’t look like much, but the old tow truck had made a six-hour trip in less than four and half hours. I’d put the pedal to the metal because when NeeNee came frantically knocking on my hotel room door, she made it sound like Chippy was in a life or death situation. I hoped that wasn’t the case, but I also hoped Donna would still be speaking to me when this was all over. I would just have to deal with that when I got home, but for now I concentrated on finding Jones Street.
“Hey, my man!” I waved at a brother wearing an army uniform in a souped-up VW that pulled up next to me at a light. He turned his head and rolled down his window. “You know where Jones Street is?”
“Yeah, ’bout three miles down the road by Food Lion. You can’t miss it, but if you pass McDonalds, you went too far.” I thanked him, and he took off when the light turned green.
I finally pulled up to the address ten minutes later and studied the house. So this is where Chippy grew up, huh? I thought, staring at the modest home as I stepped out of the tow truck. Considering all the abuse she’d suffered in there, it wasn’t what I expected. Just goes to show that you never really know what’s going on behind closed doors, no matter how normal a place looks on the outside.
I tapped gently on the door, not sure what the heck I’d find.
When she opened the door, Chippy stared up at me. She didn’t look like her normal, feisty self. To tell the truth, she didn’t look good at all, although she did look relieved to see me. I reached out to hug her, and that’s when I saw the blood. It was dried up, but it was everywhere. She was totally covered in it.
Shit. What the fuck has she done?
“You all right?” I asked.
She shook her head as she pulled me inside and shut the door. In spite of the gory mess that covered her, I pulled her in and hugged her tight. “What happened?”
“Come with me.” She motioned for me to follow her through the living room and down the hall to a small door off to the side, away from the main rooms. She opened the door, and I had to take a breath to stop from throwing up all over the floor.
“Holy Shit!” I shouted. It looked like a massacre had taken place. An older man lay on the floor, naked and bloody, while an older woman was sprawled across the room, dried blood from her head caked on the hardwood.
“I couldn’t let him do that to me again,” she mumbled. When our eyes met, the pain in hers jarred me, but it was also mixed with something else—relief? I wasn’t sure, but I knew that she wasn’t the same person I had met a few months ago on the porch. That was the first time I really thought of why she had wound up turning tricks for Big Sam. She was just too smart. Clearly, she had to be leaving something a whole lot worse to wind up in a place like that—so bad that it had ended in the death of her parents. From the position of the male body and the lack of clothing, the situation pretty much explained itself, but the mother, well, that was a bit harder to figure out.
“I’d do it again,” she started before breaking down and crying. “My mother,” she said, turning back to the bodies. “I didn’t mean to . . .” She seemed to be in a state of shock. “She just pushed me too far.”
“Who else knows that you’re here?” I asked her.
“Nobody. I got a ride, and my mother wasn’t exactly calling people to throw me a party to celebrate my return.” Her voice cracked as she finished that thought. “What are we going to do?”
“Let me think for a second.” I looked around the room. “Does anybody else live here besides them two?”
“No,” she whimpered. “He just showed up. They aren’t—weren’t big on company.” She stepped away from me, turning away from the two dead bodies. “And I’m an only child.”
“We got four hours to clean this up,” I told her, because we had to get back to Waycross. I couldn’t make it look like I’d skipped town. “I just read this thing about DNA and how all the cops are starting to use it to solve cases. Okay, so, first things first: I want you to grab some clothes and go take a shower. Can you do that?” I asked, hoping she could keep it together to help me.
“Yes, I can.” Her eyes were brimming with tears of both pain and gratitude. For the first time since arriving, I was glad that it was me who had shown up and not Larry and NeeNee. There was no way he’d be able to deal with this and comfort her. Sure, this was more than I had expected, but I couldn’t
risk leaving and having anything happen to her.
With her in the shower, I headed out to the truck and grabbed two five-gallon gas cans, being careful not to be seen. I spread the gas from one can throughout the house then moved the two bodies into her mother’s room. I poured half the remaining can on their bodies, leaving a trail of gas toward the front door.
“What are you doing?” Chippy asked. I was thankful that she looked more like herself. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, but she was dressed, and the blood was washed away.
“Getting rid of evidence. Is there anything in this house you need?”
She shook her head. “No, nothing.”
“Then when I light this match, you run like hell out that door to the truck, and don’t look back, you hear?”
“Yes. And LC?” She stopped as if she were trying to figure out what to say next.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. I’ll never forget this as long as I live.” She leaned over and kissed me. It wasn’t the most passionate kiss I’d ever had, but it was by far the most meaningful.
“Neither will I.” I struck the match then watched her exit the house. I gave the place a quick once over then threw the match to the floor and sprinted out the door behind her. I didn’t look back until I was in the truck, pulling away. The house was smoking, and I could already see the curtains go up in flames. Within minutes, the entire place would be gone.
I glanced over at Chippy, who was facing front, looking straight ahead. I knew I had told her not to, but I don’t think I could have resisted a final look back.
“You okay?” I asked.
She sighed deeply, reaching over and taking my hand. “Yeah, I think I’m going to make it.”
Chippy
35
About two hours down the road, I was still in another world, but I could see LC was getting sleepy, so I asked him to let me drive. He protested a little bit but finally conceded after we stopped for gas and breakfast somewhere in South Carolina. With his belly full, poor LC fell asleep less than ten minutes after we hit the highway. This gave me some time to think about my next move.
“Damn, we home already?” a groggy LC asked two hours later. He stretched, still slouched over in his seat as he looked out the window.
“Yeah, almost home,” I said sadly then turned off McDonald Avenue onto the strip on Oak Street. I pulled up to the curb and sighed, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Bye.”
“Bye? What do you mean, bye?” He sat up straight, staring at me with the same horrified look he had when he saw my mother and Willie. “And what are we doing at Big Sam’s?”
“Not we,” I replied. “Me. I’m going to work.” I reached for the door handle, but he grabbed my wrist.
“No,” he said sternly. We locked eyes, and he softened his approach. “Please, please don’t do this. I didn’t drive all the way up to North Carolina to bring you back to this. You’re better than this.”
“Am I?” I shrugged, feeling lost. “Maybe I am, but where else do I have to go?”
“You can come home with me. Everybody’s expecting you.”
I think he really believed that could work.
I shook my head. “Please. You got Donna, and we both know that she won’t understand this thing between us. Hell, I barely understand it, and you, you don’t have a clue.”
He gazed at me, his face softening even more. “You’re right. I don’t have clue.”
“Let’s see if I can open your eyes.” I looked at him, taking in all that he was, all that he’d done. I already had feelings for him. Shit hadn’t even gone all the way and he was still the best lover I’d ever had, so I knew it wouldn’t take much to love him for the rest of my life. “You once told me you envied the way I looked at Sam. Well, it took me a while, and maybe you can’t see, but that’s how I look at you now. I love you LC. I’m in love with you.” There, I’d said it. I’d admitted it not only to him, but also to myself.
He looked spellbound, almost shocked by my words. I don’t think he expected me to say anything like that. “Oh, wow. Shit, I don’t know what to say.” He rubbed his hand across his head.
“You were supposed to say I love you too. At least that’s what I’d hoped.”
He swallowed hard, looking embarrassed, and I raised my hand in protest. “It’s okay.”
“I care about you. I really do, but I’m engaged. I made a commitment. If I let myself go there—”
I placed my finger over his lips. “Shhhh. I don’t expect you to feel or understand what I’m going through. I just want you to know that I love you, and I hope one day you’ll learn to love me too. It’s her time now, but my time is coming, and when that day comes, I hope you come find me. Until then, I have to live my life too.” I stepped out of the truck.
“Chippy!” he called out to me as he slid into the driver’s seat. I turned to him, but we both knew that there was nothing he could say to make a difference. Still, he tried. “Please don’t do this.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m used to taking care of myself. You go back to your life and let me go back to mine,” I said, trying to keep any emotion out of my voice. Even though I was being tough, I was sure he could hear the vulnerability behind my words. I leaned into the car and kissed him again. God, his lips were so soft. “Bye, LC. Don’t you be a stranger.”
I stepped back and waited for him to pull away. The solace in this whole mess, if you can call it solace, was that although he didn’t say he loved me, he didn’t say he loved her either.
Larry
36
“Where is that boy?” NeeNee was pacing around the convenience store like a mother waiting for a child who missed curfew. She must have peeked outside the door a hundred times looking for LC and that damn tow truck. He had called to let us know he was safe and on his way home about three hours ago. Unless he made a detour, he should have been coming through that door any minute. “When he gets here, I’m gonna kill his ass,” she said.
“Kill him? Shit, you’re the reason he’s in trouble in the first place.” Lou spoke up from the table where he was playing chess with John. He was trying to act like he didn’t care, but we all knew he’d be a lot happier when LC walked through the door. We all would. “I don’t know what the hell possessed you to roust that boy out of a hotel room with Donna when he’s finally getting some, just to send him up to Fayetteville behind one of Sam’s whores. I’m surprised that wench Donna ain’t killed you.”
“I don’t care what you say. Chippy is all right with me. And truth be told, she’s a hell of a lot better for him than that stuck-up Donna. She’s the kind of woman, like me, who’d lay down her life for him. That’s what he deserves.”
I’ll be damned if I didn’t agree with her, but I wasn’t gonna say it out loud. LC was an adult, and I was going to take my cue from him. Whatever one he wanted, that was fine with me.
NeeNee continued, “I just hope we can get through the day without Donna popping up.”
“Oh, she’s been by here a few times, and that girl was hot as fire.” I laughed, knowing baby brother was about to have some real shit on his hands with that one.
“Look, here he comes,” Lou announced, a delighted smile covering his face as the tow truck pulled up. We all ran to the door. “But I don’t see her.”
“Where’s she at?” NeeNee’s loud voice carried as she reached LC getting out of the truck. She threw her arms around him in a hug. “Where’s Chippy?” she asked before she leaned inside the cab as if Chippy might be hiding in there.
“Hey, bro.” I waved, coming to stand next to them.
“I dropped her off at Sam’s.” He sounded defeated. Before he even got another word out, I could see how upset he was. “I still don’t know what the fuck happened.”
“What? Why did you let her do that?” NeeNee yelled at him like it was his fault, without even knowing the facts.
“I tried to talk some sense into her,” he explained, but his words were falling on deaf ears.
NeeNee was insistent. “That’s a bunch of bullshit and you know it, LC. That girl don’t need to be in that place, so I don’t know why the fuck you left her there.” NeeNee was losing it.
“Look, NeeNee, she’s a grown-ass woman, and we got enough trouble with Sam as it is. I wasn’t about to just stroll in there and say I want the woman who just walked in the door.”
“Nee, give him a break,” I told her, wanting her to give him some breathing room.
But like all women would have done, NeeNee continued, “Something must have happened, because that girl did not want to go back to that place, and certainly not to do what she had been doing.”
“Nee?” I pulled her away from him. “I said give him a break.”
“Fine. But I still want to know what happened, even if I have to march over to Big Sam’s myself and get it out of her.”
The two of us just shook our heads as we watched her turn around and strut back into the store.
“You all right?” I checked because I could see the dark cloud swirling around him. LC just shrugged his shoulders like he didn’t want to talk about it, so I left it alone as we walked back toward the shop.
Lou, Levi, and John were all waiting with big smiles on their faces. NeeNee joined in, but I could see she really wasn’t happy about this Chippy shit.
“Happy birthday!” We all yelled to LC, who looked like he had actually forgotten that today was his twenty-first birthday. Levi rushed at him and grabbed him in a bear hug.
“C’mon back here.” Lou motioned to LC as everybody followed him out the back door.
“What?” LC asked, not able to hide the impatience in his voice. I could see that he wasn’t in the mood for a whole lot of fanfare, but maybe he’d change his mind.
“Patience,” I joked, trying to humor him so he’d lighten up.
“Yeah, p–p–patience.” Levi spat out the word and looked so pleased with himself that it made LC smile for the first time since he got there.