Seeking Scandal
by Nadine Millard
published by Blue Tulip Publishing
www.bluetulippublishing.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and events are fictitious in every regard. Any similarities to actual events and persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if any of these terms are used. Except for review purposes, the reproduction of this book in whole or part, electronically or mechanically, constitutes a copyright violation.
SEEKING SCANDAL
Copyright © 2014 NADINE MILLARD
ISBN: 978-0991099863
Cover Art by P.S. Cover Design
To my husband, children, family and friends for your continued support.
To the Ging Gang Girlies for tea, scones and brainstorming galore!
PROLOGUE
LADY CAROLINE CARRINGTON smiled as she watched her sister Rebecca dance a beautiful waltz with her newly acquired fiancé, Edward Duke of Hartridge.
They looked so wonderful together and so very in love that it almost brought a tear to Caroline's eye. Almost. One did not cry in public.
Her sister had never looked happier and who could blame her? Never in Caroline's life had she seen a man so desperately in love as the duke was with Rebecca. It was a joy to watch and if Caroline felt a little pang of envy well then, that was to be expected. After all, the duke had been intended for Caroline herself!
The marriage contract made between Edward's late father and Caroline's father, The Earl of Ranford, stated that the eldest daughter of Ranford would marry the eldest son of Hartridge. Caroline had been made aware of the contract the day she left the schoolroom, and so her formative years had been spent learning to be the perfect duchess, the very epitome of a lady.
Ironic then, that Edward would travel to their estate in Ireland having no clue that such a contract even existed, and fall head over heels in love with the scandalous force of nature that was Caroline's younger sister.
Caroline held no ill will toward either of them however. It had been clear to her from the beginning that she and Edward would not suit. The problem was now she felt… lost. She had been raised to be a duchess. She had been raised to stifle silly things like emotions and romantic notions.
Seeing Rebecca and Edward fall in love had made her yearn for the same thing. Was it so wrong for her to want love instead of wealth? Romance instead of a title? How she wished that she could have had both like Rebecca!
She had hoped that seeing Rebecca become a duchess would take some of the pressure off her own shoulders. It appeared however that it had just spurred her father on.
Edward had arranged for her parents and older brother Charles to attend this evening. Caroline had been thrilled to see them since her father had suffered ill health and had been separated from them while the girls had their Season. But once her Father had been settled in their Mayfair townhouse, he had summoned Caroline to his study and sat her down with a smile and a pat to her hand.
"Well Caroline dearest, has any young earl, or dare I hope duke, caught your eye this Season?"
Caroline's mind immediately flashed to Mr. Crawdon, the Duke's extremely wealthy but untitled cousin.
"I cannot say that any has father," she answered truthfully. The truth was, she hadn't even looked at another man since she'd met Tom Crawdon.
If only her father could be persuaded to be satisfied with one titled lady in the family…
"Papa," she began, "surely you are well satisfied with a duchess amongst your daughters, regardless of which of us it is! I am sure I could marry a squire now and you would not object." She said the last with a little laugh so her father would not suspect that she had an ulterior motive to the seemingly innocent statement. She could feel the tension in her shoulders as she awaited his response.
If only he did not care. If only he wanted her to be happy, regardless of who it was with.
Her father peered at her for a moment as if trying to gauge her seriousness before he laughed and patted her hand affectionately.
"My dear girl," he said, "you know I only want what is best for you. But a squire? You are the eldest daughter of an earl, bred to be a titled lady. I would not be happy to see you with anyone less than you."
Once again, Caroline's mind flashed to Tom. Successful, wealthy, more handsome than any man had the right to be. Less than her? He was so much more than she could handle she literally struggled to breathe around him.
Schooling her features to the nonchalance she had practised since her childhood, she smiled serenely and tried again.
"But a title does not make a man, Papa. Why, look at all the wealthy gentlemen from excellent families who do not possess a title, but certainly possess everything else you would look for in a son-in-law."
Her father studied her once again, much more intently this time, making Caroline feel like he could guess what was going on in her head.
His voice was sterner now as he reiterated his refusal to settle for anything less than a peer for his eldest girl.
"My dear I am not getting any younger. And I think we can all agree that my health scare this summer has made it necessary to plan for the future." He held up his hand when she would have objected, and she was struck by how frail it appeared. "I have great hopes that your brother Charles will do a good job as Earl and look after you and your mother. But he is young and somewhat foolish right now. It will put my mind at ease to know that you are settled with someone who deserves you, someone from your own sphere, someone who can give you the lifestyle that you have been raised to."
Her father talking in such a way made her feel guilty and went a long way towards quieting her objections. Perhaps he was right. She had been raised to achieve the highest pinnacle of success. Or at least the highest pinnacle available to a lady, which was an excellent marriage. The problem was, and it was a fairly big problem, she had gone and fallen in love with her future brother-in-law's cousin!
Caroline glanced at her father and was shocked once again to see how haggard he looked. How pale and worn and… old. Perhaps the conversation had been too much for him. Had worried him. Feeling suddenly ashamed of how selfish she was being, she resolved to do anything she could to make life easier for him. And if that included marrying a peer? Well, so be it.
She had smiled reassuringly at her father then and had taken her leave to return to the dowager house that she and Rebecca had spent their summer in, lest she ruin the surprise of her family's arrival for Rebecca.
And so here she stood, surrounded by music, flowers, and love and her heart was breaking every second of it. Not that you would be able to tell by her demeanour. A lady did not show emotion in public, she reminded herself, as her icy blue eyes scanned the room. She remained poised, aloof, and…
Her heart stopped. Actually stood still. She had not thought that really happened though she had read of it in the gothic novels Rebecca was so fond of and that she, Caroline, pretended not to read.
For making his way toward her was Tom, Mr. Crawdon, she corrected herself. It was time to break the tenuous connection that was forming between them. She must. For the sake of her family, for her father. She must. She could not think of him as Tom, her Tom.
She watched as he sauntered in her direction, his deep blue eyes intent on her face. Caroline briefly considered looking away so as not to encourage him, but he was so breathtakingly handsome, and she was a woman after all. With eyes no less. It was only natural for her to look!
Tom stopped in front of Caroline and she felt the all too familiar hitch in her breath and slam of her hea
rt. Really, she would require the help of a doctor if she spent much longer around him!
"What you do to a man with your beauty, Lady Caroline," he spoke quietly, his smooth voice causing her heart to gallop even more.
Caroline was not sure how she should respond. She knew what she wanted to do of course. But one did not throw oneself at a man in the middle of a crowded ballroom. So she stayed quiet.
"Shall we dance?" he asked, extending his large hands towards her.
Caroline stared at the hand as her mind conjured up an image of the last time they had danced…
Vauxhall Gardens, the awful night Rebecca had been kidnapped and Edward had been nearly driven mad trying to find her. The night had not started out as terrible. It had been, in fact, quite spectacularly wonderful. Caroline had become caught up in the excitement of the evening, the feeling of the rules not being quite so important. She had spent the night dancing with Tom. Talking, laughing, falling more and more in love with him…
He'd kissed her for the first time that night. An utterly life-changing kiss that had shattered all of Caroline's carefully constructed plans to marry a peer and be a leading lady of the ton within a few years. His kiss had awoken a side to Caroline that she had begun to suspect lurked beneath her poised and polished outward shell from the first time she'd met Tom.
That was the night she'd stupidly begun to think that perhaps she would be free to marry whomever she liked. Not that Tom had offered, but a girl could always dream…
Yet now, here she stood. Making every effort in the world to look as though she were enjoying her sister's engagement night when all the while she wanted to cry for what she was about to lose.
She would not refuse him this dance, would take every opportunity to be in his arms. It would be strange anyway if she did not dance with the cousin of her future brother-in-law. People would notice. And talk. And nothing scared Caroline more than having people talk about her in a negative fashion.
After this, she would begin to distance herself. She would stop talking quietly with him in corners, stop looking forward to snatched moments alone. She would not encourage him to be anything more than a polite acquaintance, though the thought caused her nothing but pain.
For now, they would dance. Caroline shivered slightly as her hand touched his. It was a dance, just a dance.
Tom could see the play of emotions, usually so well hidden, flicker across Caroline's beautiful face and he had to force himself not to ask what was going on in her head.
He had decided, having spoken to Edward at length about it, that he would make an offer for Lady Caroline tonight.
The truth was he had fallen irrevocably in love with the beautiful, proud Caroline and had been driving himself mad wondering whether it was selfish of him to pay his addresses knowing that he would never be good enough for her.
But then, what man ever would be? She was, quite simply, perfect.
The dance ended and Tom led her to the veranda outside. He knew that the right thing to do would be to approach her father first. And he had fully intended to do so. And then he'd seen her.
She took his breath away. Her beauty was such that it almost frightened him. She stood at the edge of the dance floor; her blue eyes pierced him every time she looked in his direction as she scanned the room lazily. The sea green colour of her dress made her golden hair gleam even more and her peaches-and-cream complexion seemed all the more fair. He could have wept. How did she get to be so damned beautiful and not even realise it? For she certainly did not realise it, so sure was she that her sister was the beauty of the family. Lady Rebecca's beauty was enough to send men to war, Tom could admit. But Caroline — Caroline was the only woman in the world for whom he would fight a war single-handed. And he who had never been shy with the ladies, who had the success that other men merely dreamt of when it came to the fairer sex, was as nervous as a lad on the cusp of manhood.
She was too good. That was the problem. Too beautiful. Too refined. Too much better than him in every conceivable way. And yet he loved her. So, although it may be selfish to ask her to tie her life to a man who, although very well off and successful in his various business endeavours would never be more than just a man, he was going to ask her to be his wife.
He felt sure she was beginning to feel the same way as he. The night they'd kissed had affected Tom more than any other experience in his life so far. Such a feeling could not be one sided. Could it?
Tom thought back to his final talk with Edward that morning as he guided Caroline silently toward the steps leading to the dimly lit garden. A fat lot of good that talk had done him!
As soon as Tom had asked Edward about the first time he'd realised that he'd fallen in love with Rebecca, Edward's eyes had glazed over and the look on his face had become altogether seductive. Tom felt certain he could go his entire life without ever seeing that particular expression on his cousin's face again.
Shortly after, Edward had excused himself to find Rebecca. And judging by the sounds coming from the closed library door that Tom passed on his way out, he could only assume that find her he had.
One piece of advice that Edward had given him, which struck Tom as being very sensible, had been to take any opportunity he could to tell Caroline how he felt.
"I almost lost Rebecca, Tom," Edward had said, the fear and pain of that night still evident in Edward's expression and desolate voice. "My life would have ended that day had I been too late to reach her. I could never have lived with the knowledge that she did not know how I loved her. Do not make the mistake of waiting until it's too late."
Caroline's shiver brought Tom back to the present. The evenings were getting decidedly cooler now that the summer months were drawing to a close. And she did not even have a wrap to protect her from the chill. Wordlessly he shrugged off his jacket and placed it over her shoulders. She was taller than her sister, yet his jacket still dwarfed her.
He wondered if he should be concerned at her silence. But he was too nervous to think on it overly much. Besides, he realised he hadn't actually spoken a word.
"Caroline," he squeaked. Marvellous, he had just sounded as if his voice were breaking. He tried again. Clearing his throat he stuttered, "Caroline, there is something I must speak with you about."
Caroline gazed at him expectantly. Damn but she was beautiful. He felt the now familiar pull of attraction that had given him constant sleepless nights and uncomfortable breeches.
He must not get distracted. There would be plenty of time for that sort of thinking after they were married…
The moment had come. Here it was. Right here. He should speak. Any moment now he would. Speak, he told himself.
He felt his throat close up as he became unable to talk. At all. He could not utter a word.
Caroline's face changed from expectant to confused. She was going to think him insane.
In his head, he could hear exactly what he wanted to say. It was beautiful! Romantic, poetic. But his mouth was refusing to cooperate. And so they just stood, staring at each other. It was excruciating. Tom could feel a cold sweat break out on his brow.
"For God's sake man," he told himself, "get a hold of yourself and tell her that you love her, you want to be with her, that nothing makes you happier than the thought of her being your—
"Wife!" he shouted. One word? One word came out in that entire spiel? Heaven help him.
"I beg your pardon?"
Tom froze up again. Surely she would give up and walk away soon.
In desperation, he did the only thing he could think of to try to rectify the situation.
He reached out and grasped her shoulders, pulling her toward him and bending his head toward hers. He could hear her breath hitch, feel her galloping heart and he smiled, suddenly realising that this was the easiest thing in the world to do. Propose to the woman he loved.
Just before his lips touched hers, before he took them both on a journey of pure sensation, he whispered, "Marry me."
H
er heart stopped. For a moment it actually stopped. He felt it. He also felt when she stiffened in his arms. He looked up in surprise and was confused and more than a little scared by the look of despair on her face.
She pulled away from him and turned her back, her head bowed. It was a testament to how much he'd lost his mind because of her that even in his concerned state he could not help but notice the smooth arch of her neck.
But now was not the time.
"Caroline, I—"
"Don't!" She whipped round and he noticed that her eyes were filled with tears.
"Don't what? Tell you that I love you? That I have loved you almost from the second I've known you?"
"Tom, please," she sobbed as tears began to fall freely down her pale cheeks.
Tom felt as though he'd been punched in the gut. An overriding sense of fear came upon him. He'd been sure, so sure, that she loved him too. What if he were wrong?
"I had expected a rather more joyful reaction," he quipped, falling back on his failsafe of humour that he used to cover any strong emotion he might have.
The joke failed to raise a smile in either of them.
Taking a deep breath, he asked the questions that he dreaded hearing the answer to.
"Do you not love me? Do you not want me?"
Caroline's heart constricted painfully at the vulnerability Tom tried to cover with bravado. Her entire being ached with sadness. This moment should have been the happiest of her life. He loved her! Oh, and how she loved him. How she longed to be his wife.
For a moment she was tempted to throw caution to the wind and accept. She was sure that her father would not cut her off. And even if he did, Tom was one of the wealthiest men she had ever met. Surely he would not care if she had no dowry.
Here was her chance at the type of happiness she secretly dreamed of. She could have a love to rival Rebecca's and Edward's. It was tempting, oh so tempting to accept.
But her mind threw up the image of her father, frail and old before his time, sitting in his study and spelling out his plans for her. His wishes. She thought of the years of schooling in the art of being a perfect society lady. A perfect wife to a perfect peer.
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