by Kaley Marsh
The calculated and cordial Southern Belle makes an appearance. Claudia looks Max directly in the eyes. “Thank you for a nice time Max. The food was delicious.” Max shakes his head. “So we’re not going to talk about this…at all?” Claudia looks away from Max, and twist her body as though she was going to leave. “Claudia, I like you…All of you.” Claudia looks at Max. “This is just all new to me…a new experience, and not one I ever anticipated all my life.” She began to explain. “I am from the South for goodness sake. Everyone is polite but, in my town no one crosses race lines in the romance department.” Max smiles understandably. “I get that…really, I do…but I see when different eyes than you’re used to.” Max continues “I was raised just outside this city in blended classrooms, neighborhoods, extracurricular activity all my life. I don’t see color…I see people…”
During Max’s speech Claudia begins to feel more comfortable. She relaxes a bit. Her eyes are fixed on Max as he speaks. All of a sudden she hears her own words leaving her mouth. “You…you like me?” Max stops talking in mid-sentence. He slowly draws closer to Claudia and looks her firmly in the eyes. “Yes…yes I do. I like you a lot.” He began. “I really want to stay clear of the cliché but, the first day I met you and you started speaking to me, explaining about your book and why you like “The Ernest Read” so much...The passion that exuded from you…Well, it was captivating.” Claudia wears a puzzled look on her face. “So, you like me because I like to talk about books?” She asks. Max chuckles. “Well, not just that…You’re incredibly cute too.” He smiles widely, and then continued. “It’s just that…I saw you…I really saw you, and I liked what I saw.” Claudia swallows hard. She was speechless.
Max takes Claudia’s hands in his hands. He comes within just inches of her face. Claudia feels heat rising up the back of her neck. She tries to talk but Max kisses her gently on the lips. He body is stiff at first but the sweetness and caressing feel of his lips causes her to release her inhibitions for a moment and they share a passionate moment. Although the kiss was just 5 seconds long, it felt like eternity to Claudia. However surprisingly to her, a welcomed eternity. They gaze at each other in silence for a few more seconds. “So…Um, you want to hang out again?” Claudia asks softly. “Yes…yes I would like that very much.” Max replies in the same tone. Claudia smiles at Max. He pulls her in, and they embrace.
Chapter 4
Two weeks passed since Claudia’s and Max’s transformative picnic outing. They talked via phone every day and spent 7 of those 14 days together. Max didn’t mind the drive to the city and maneuvering traffic one bit during the week and Claudia shared suburban bookstores and cafes with Max on the weekend. They were both completely enjoying each other’s company. Their connection was easy and fluid. However, Claudia had not updated her friends on the status of her relationship with Max. She dodged most of their calls during the week, and used work as her excuse for not being able to spend time with them on the weekend.
Max began to notice Claudia ignoring calls coming into her phone. “Oh, I’ll call them later.” She’d say. “They just want my input on an outfit. No biggie.” She would also explain. What Max didn’t realize was that the Ladies’ Saturday brunch was a fixed meeting that Claudia chose to blow off to spend time with him over the past two weekends. However, he took her word for it and didn’t revive the questioning. Well, for the moment.
Into the third week of their new relationship Claudia couldn’t take it anymore. She was thoroughly enjoying what she and Max shared. Things were developing well but she had to share the excitement with someone before she broke into little pieces. Claudia made plans to meet up Candace after work.
“Where have you been hiding little lady?” Candace asks as she embraces Claudia. “I feel ignored, and I don’t like that feeling.” Claudia squeezes her friend a little tighter than usual. “I’m sorry Can-Can…Life has been…well, interesting to say the least.”
The two ladies sit down at a casual restaurant. “What’s going on Claude?...And, the truth please!”
Claudia shares the details of her liaison with Max, over the past few weeks. “What!” Candace’s mouth gaps open. “Things have certainly gone from zero to 60 lady! …Wow!” Candace exclaims. “Candace, please don’t say anything to Angela and Anika just yet.” She pleads softly but firmly. “I want to be able to share this with them when I am ready.” She continues. “This situation is still new and I am still trying to wrap my head around it completely.” Candace nods in agreement. “I understand Claude…I fully get it, you don’t have to worry about me saying anything.” Claudia smiles, thanks her friend profusely and leans over to hug her.
“So are you up for it?” Max asks Claudia. “I…I don’t know.” She replies as her head lies on his shoulder while seated on his apartment couch to watch a movie. “We have been dating for a little over a month, and I would really like you to meet my friends.” Claudia sits up. She is very nervous. “Do I have to meet them now? ...Like you said, it’s only been just over a month. That is not that long…Don’t you think?” Max turns to Claudia and gently rest his hands on her lap. “Babe, have you been enjoying our time together?”
Claudia looks down at Max’ hands resting on her bare legs, revealed by her shorts. She notices the contrast of his hands and her chocolate skin, and then she looks up at his face. As she peers into his blue eyes, it calms her. When Claudia looks into Max’s eyes, it is as though she can see into his soul. “Yes…yes, I have been enjoying our eyes together.” She finally says. “Good…really good!” He starts off: “And would you like to continue to enjoy more time together?” He asks excitedly.
”I will.” Claudia responds softly.
“Well I definitely want you to spend more time with you and have you be a part of my life…And part of my life are my friends I hang out with at the bar and play darts, and pool.” Claudia cracks a mischief smile. “Darts and pool…really?” She laughs out loud. “What’s so funny Claudia?” Claudia laughs some more. Max begins to tickle her which magnifies her laughter. “Ok, ok I will hang out with you and your friends next Friday night.” Max tickles Claudia lightly. “Awesome!” He says, and kisses her repeatedly on the mouth. Claudia giggles.
Back at work after the weekend, and tentatively looking forward to meeting Max’s friends that Friday, Claudia bravely checks her phone messages. “Why is it so difficult to see you Claudia?” Claudia listens to a perturbed message from Anika during her lunch hour at work. “Please call me as soon as you get this message.” Anika demanded. “I need to talk to you.” Claudia rubs her forehead as she ends the message. Candace had kept her promise but what and how was she going to tell her other two best friends whom have been nothing but good to her. Claudia thought about speaking with Anika for the rest of the day into the evening. “Should I just call Anika?...Should I tell Anika and Angela together?...Am I ready to deal with their responses?” Claudia tossed all of these questions and more around in her head until she finally decided to call Anika at about 9pm.
Chapter 5
“Hi Neeks! How are you?” Claudia says as upbeat as possible. “Where have you been Claudia…what’s going on with you?” Anika replied anxiously. “I’ve been busy…you know…” Claudia tries to play it off casually. “No, I don’t know…that’s why I have been practically stalking you.” Anika tells her adamantly. “What is really going on with you?” Anika interrogates. “First off, I am fine Neeks…just busy…honestly!” Claudia works to be as convincing as possible. “Too busy for your friends?...We haven’t had brunch in weeks. Candace maybe cool with it but I am certainly not…” Anika rants on but Claudia jumps in. “Anika, we are having brunch this Saturday for sure. I will be there with bells on. What do you say?” Anika stops to think. This calms her down for the moment. “Ok…In the city?” Anika asks. “We can firm up the details with Candace and Angela later this week…Ok with you?” Anika backs down. “I guess so.” The ladies end the call on a good note. However Claudia needs to figure out how sh
e will involve all her friends in this new development of her life.
Early the following Saturday, all the ladies met for brunch. “I’m glad we came here. These Mimosas are fantastic!” Angela says enthusiastically. “Well this is Anika’s favorite spot for brunch.” Candace chimes in. “I do have great taste, don’t I?” Anika offers. “It’s also finally good to be able to have some time with Ms. Claudia Jefferies…I think she has gotten too important for us Ladies.”
Anika continues with a chuckle. Claudia swallows hard. “I am sorry about that Ladies… Life has been Um… um busy.” Claudia explains. “What have you been busy doing Claude?” Claudia cleats her throat. “Well…I have been…I have been seeing someone.” She says quickly hoping it will go over easier and better.
Both Anika and Angela express their shock all at once. “Who Claudia…who have you been seeing?” Angela asks excitedly. “Is it that guy you were conflicted about before?” Anika asks. “It is…it is him Anika.” Anika falls back into her seat. Angela leans forward with anticipation. “Wow, Claudia…I mean, Wow!” Angela expresses in amazement. “How has it been…What is it like?” Angela fired off. “Are you serious Claudia…you’re dating that guy?” Anika interrupts. Anika’s words cut Claudia like a knife. She really wanted the support of all her friends. “You have not been spending time with us, to spend time with him?” Anika continues with aggravation in her voice. “Calm down Neeks.” Candace interjects. Anika shoots Candace a penetrating look. “I wouldn’t calm down.” Anika says to Candace before focusing her attention on Claudia again. “You know he’s just using you, right?” Anika shoots out at Claudia. “Using me?” Claudia barely gets out with a whimper. “Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.”
Claudia heads for the restaurant bathroom. Both Angela and Candace turn and look at Anika disapprovingly. Angela decides to follow Claudia to the bathroom. Meanwhile Candace confronts Anika. “What is all that about?” Candace pointedly says to Anika. “I mean, our friend does not deserve that.” She continued. “She needs to wake up Candace…This guy just wants to get a taste of her chocolate then dump her…If you know what I mean”.
Anika offers emphatically. “Like I said; Calm down Anika…Claudia knows what’s she’s doing…She didn’t enter into this lightly.” Candace advises. “Also, no one is perfect…There are bad people and good people everywhere, regardless of race…So don’t get so distracted by his ethnicity.” Anika shrugs. She is still not convinced.
“Claude, are you alright?” Angela asks, leaning on the bathroom stall door which her friend stood behind. “I am fine Angela…I just needed a moment.” She replied. “Please don’t let Anika get to you…If you are happy and everything inside you is telling you this is right, don’t let me or anyone turn you away from that.” Angela’s words were comforting to Claudia. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but that was exactly what she needed to hear and it soothes her. “Thank you Angela. I truly appreciated that.” The bathroom stall door opens. Angela smiles broadly. “You are most welcomed my friend.” Angela says to Claudia.
Claudia and Angela walk back to their table but one person is missing. “Where’s Anika?” Angela asks. “She decided to go. She didn’t want to upset Claudia any further.” Candace informed them. “Wow…” Angela replied. “Was it really that serious?” She went on to ask. “Let’s just continue to enjoy our meal and our day and not worry about…” Candace looks at Claudia. “OK…Can we do that?” Angela reaches out and touches Claudia’s hand and looks her squarely in the eyes. “Can we do that?” Claudia smiles at her friends, one at a time. She nods. “Ok…let’s finish our brunch.”
For some reason Claudia likes spending time at Max’s more than then spending time at her place. Unconsciously it is her opportunity to get out of the city, and get away for a bit. After her explosive brunch with “The Ladies” Claudia spends the afternoon with Max. “So how was your morning Babe?” Max asks right after letting Claudia into his apartment. Claudia does not answer right away but distracts herself with settling in. “Claude...” Max walks over to Claudia who’s hunched over her bag searching for her book. “Babe…babe...” Max extends his arms to straighten up Claudia and holds her at the shoulders. “Is everything okay?” Max looks Claudia directly in the eyes. Claudia attempts to look away and fidgets in Max’s arms a bit. She decides to change the subject.
“So, what did your friends say after last night?” Max tilts his head to the side, knowing that Claudia is avoiding what’s really troubling her. “My friends think you’re great. Someone even said that you were funny.” Claudia looks at Max questionably. “Funny? ...I am not usually described as funny.” Max laughs. “I know you think so but that’s just part of your charm…you’re funny though you don’t realize it.”
Claudia wiggles out of Max’s arms and sits on the couch. “Hmmm…very interesting.” Claudia tries to open up her book to begin reading, but Max grabs the book out of her hands. “What are you doing?” Claudia exclaims. “Did you come here to read or to spend time with me?” Claudia looks at Max in astonishment. “We always read…I thought…” Max stops her. “You’re barely communicating with me…Is there something you don’t want to talk about?...At least tell me that.” Claudia sighs “I met with my friends this morning…I told most of them about you for the first time…One in particular was not happy about our dating.” Max listens intently and nods. “Is her opinion a deal breaker for you?” Claudia is surprised of how blunt Max is but being open is one of his positive attributes, she thinks. “I don’t Max…I don’t know.” Max stands and paces the living room a bit. “Is that why you haven’t offered me the opportunity to meet them?” Claudia drops her head and shakes it. She looks up at Max. “Max we have just being going out for 6 weeks. What is the rush?” Max walks over to Claudia and sits beside her again. “The rush is that I am one thousand percent sure about you…I want to build something together, and share my life with you Claudia…I was just hoping that you wanted the same thing. Claudia drops her face into her hands. “Max, this is too much….” Max places his arms around her. “Claude, I am sorry…”
Claudia shifts her body and gestures to stand. “Max, I need to go.” Max jumps to his feet. “Why Claudia…why do you always choose to run from things?”
Claudia is offended by Max’s statement, grabs her purse and overnight bag and heads for the door. Max gets to the door ahead of her and stands in front of Claudia. “Claudia, let’s talk about this please.” Claudia stands her ground. “Max, I need to go…Please.” Claudia pleads. “We can work through this Claudia…” Claudia begins to whimper. “Max, I am not sure like you are…this is a bit too much…first my friends, then what about my family…or your family for that matter…Sharing lives?...I don’t know…I just don’t know.” Max draws close to Claudia and firmly but affectionately wraps his arms around her. Claudia begins to cry in Max’s arms.
The couple talked for hours at Max’s and came to a compromise. Max promised to take one day at time and Claudia promises to be more open about her feelings about their relationship, and transparent with her friends and family in her own time. Following her heart-to-heart talk with Max, Claudia decides that it would be healthy to have a heart-to-heart talk with Anika as well. Back at home on Sunday evening, Claudia gives Anika a call. “Hi there, how are you Neeks?” Claudia said trying to sound as chirper as possible. Anika was not as upbeat. “Hey…What can I help you with Claudia?” Anika says in a dry tone. Claudia becomes apprehensive.
“I wanted to talk about what happened at brunch yesterday.” Anika remains silent on the other end. “Anika, I would really like to talk to you about this.” Claudia continues. “Claude I just don’t understand why you’re settling for a White guy when there are several educated and eligible Black men in this city…Furthermore, you know the struggle of our people…” Anika went on a rampage. But Claudia tries to get a few words in. “Anika, I understand…I understand what you are saying but I didn’t plan this or go looking for this…It just h
appened…Remember first and foremost we are humans created by one creator, regardless of the ignorant errors of history. How long are we going to hold this generation accountable for the past failure of their ancestors?” Anika cuts Claudia off. “Haven’t you learned anything at the Historically Black University we attended? …Furthermore you are from the South and know the racial injustices first hand…” Claudia jumps in. “I know…I know…But those are human injustices which I believe I need to rise above…Besides, Max has not done anything to hurt me…” Anika interrupts her “For now, he hasn’t…” Claudia was worn out with the debate. “Anika, how long are you going to hold on to these negative feelings?...” Anika becomes offended. “You know what Claudia, I think it is best that we agree to disagree, and that we don’t hang around each other any longer…Good night.”
Claudia hears silence, then a ringtone as the call drops. She begins to weep uncontrollably. She had lost her friend of seven years due to a new romantic relationship. “Was this sacrifice worth it?” Claudia begins to think. Through her tears, heart ache and grief Claudia summarized that she sincerely believed the words she told Anika, and she believed in the new found love she had been experiencing with Max. She didn’t want to lose Anika but the entire situation revealed hurt and pain that racial groups hold on to which can be alleviated with forgiveness, understanding and love. Still, Claudia’s mood remained low and she sobbed for another hour.
While Claudia made steps to completely embrace and develop her young relationship Max, she also struggled with wanting it to be accepted by her close friends, and family. She was due to meet Max’s family in a few days on the anniversary of their 8th week. It was casual family gathering but that didn’t alleviate any of Claudia’s anxiety. Claudia drilled Max constantly with questions about his family. She wanted to impress them and survive the meeting all at once. Claudia knew she wasn’t the first Black woman Max had dated but as her feelings for him grew she wanted more to be accepted into his life as she prayed he would be in hers.