Lucas smiled and handed her more rosemary. “Is that not your strong suit?”
She laughed. “I’d rather take more time making recipes with complicated details.”
“Like your soap.”
“Exactly. Although I know that recipe by heart. You watch those cooking shows on television. I’m sure their recipes can get complicated.” She shrugged, keeping her eyes down. “Maybe you can show me one sometime.”
“I don’t have cable anymore.”
She glanced up at him. “No?”
“TV’s gone, too.”
“That’s right.” She lowered the rosemary in her hand. “Why is that, exactly?”
“I didn’t need it in my life to begin with, and I’ve been altering some other things, as well. That day in town, I told you I have a lot to say to you.” He turned to lean a hip against the counter so he could look directly at her. “I don’t know how else to put it, but I’ve been feeling things—spiritual things that I haven’t felt in years. My heart feels softer, more receptive to the idea of making some big changes.” He sighed. “The anger toward my father is softening, too.”
“Lucas.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “That’s wonderful.”
As they looked at each other, Lucas felt a need that was more and more difficult to deny.
“I haven’t decided what to do next,” he added, “but I feel…happy. I didn’t know it was possible after all this time.”
As if it were as effortless as breathing, Esther reached out and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. Lucas didn’t care one bit that she was covered in chicken guts. “I’m so pleased for you,” she said in a hush, actual tears rimming her eyes.
His chest felt tight, yet his heart was wide open. Not knowing how to reply, he simply squeezed her hand back.
“I have…” She paused to inhale deeply. “I have something I need to tell you…” She turned her blue eyes to look out the window where his nephews were playing. “But I don’t think it’s the right time.”
“Another time, then?” he said, still gripping her hand.
“If we run into each other on the street,” they said in near perfect unison.
Esther pressed her lips together, then chuckled. Lucas, too, couldn’t stop himself from laughing. Upon hearing one of the little boys shriek, Esther quickly let go of his hand.
“Well, this looks great,” Lucas said, peering at the chicken as they both moved to the sink. “I can’t wait to try it.”
Esther turned on the water with an elbow and then handed Lucas a bar of soap. “You’ll be here for dinner?”
“It’s the weekend. I’d normally be working on my own garden, but Jerry’s got his hands full.”
“That’s what Lizzy said. What are they going to do?” After drying her hands, Esther opened the oven and slid in the chicken.
“I was actually considering something—a plan. But it’s…” When he didn’t finish, Esther looked at him, causing him to sigh. “Well, it’ll never work. I don’t even want to say it.”
“Have one,” Esther said, straight-faced, shoving a small cookie with a dollop of jam into his mouth. The sugar and butter base immediately began dissolving on his tongue.
“Yum.”
“Now.” She faced him, dusting off her palms. “What can’t you say?”
Lucas held up a finger and chewed as fast as he could. Esther rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently.
“I was thinking maybe I could buy some of his land. We’d own it together.”
Esther blinked. “Jah, that is…something to think about.” She pressed her lips together. “How exactly would that work?”
Lucas groaned inwardly, wiping cookie crumbs from his mouth. “That’s the thing. It won’t. Outsiders like me don’t belong in the community, and it’d put a horrible strain on Jerry. He doesn’t need more stress.”
While wearing a blank expression, Esther slid an entire cookie into her mouth and chewed in silence. “There must be something you can do.”
“Help him while staying completely under the radar. Like I said, I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone.” He made sure their eyes locked before he added, “Not anyone.”
A smile curved Esther’s lips. “A little late for that,” she said, then dropped her blue-eyed gaze to the floor. Lucas watched in fascination as a lovely blush crawled up her throat, settling on her cheeks.
“I need to clean up,” she said, as if not wanting her thoughts to go down the same path as his. Neither of them wanted trouble.
“I’ll see what the kids are up to,” Lucas said, needing space to clear his head.
“Would you help Holmes clean the mud off the window? Lizzy doesn’t need stress, either.”
“Good idea.” As he started to leave, he turned back. “When I first walked in, I couldn’t believe it was you. I’d just been thinking about you and—”
“Me too,” Esther said. “Being here like this is a tender mercy from Gott. I believe that.”
Lucas assumed he’d used up his allowance of tender mercies, but ever since having Esther in his life, blessings seemed to keep flowing his way.
What he couldn’t understand was why Gott bothered to bless him if he still hadn’t repented.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Esther awoke to blues skies, a golden sun, rainbows, and a sweet breeze. At least in her mind. Mother Nature had other ideas.
“It’s been raining for an hour.” Lizzy was in the kitchen by the time Esther came downstairs. “Jerry’s in the barn, but there won’t be much to do before church. Would you help me get the kinnahs ready? Jerry insists I stay home, but I won’t allow my children to show up looking like they have no mother.”
“Of course,” Esther said, quickly pinning on her heart-shaped prayer kapp. “I should’ve been down here earlier. Let me make breakfast, too.”
“It’s all done,” Lizzy said, wearing a big smile. “At least you know I’m not an invalid.”
The two women laughed quietly, making Esther want to grin ear to ear, knowing she had a gut friend in Elizabeth Brenneman.
“I have a present for you,” Esther said as she picked up her heavy cloak.
Elizabeth’s eyes brightened. “From where?”
“I might’ve run home last night—it’s real close. Here, for you.” She pulled two bars of soap from her cloak pockets, eager to see the expression on Lizzy’s face.
“Such pretty wrapping.” She took the first one and held it up to her nose. “Smells like oranges.”
“With a dash of vanilla.”
“Yum.” Lizzy took another sniff. “Thank you for thinking of me.”
“Smell this one.” Esther grinned as she held out a bar from her most recent batch. “It’s different.”
“I like this wrapping, too. The rose ribbon is lovely.” Just as before, she held the bar to her nose and sucked in a big breath. Halfway through her inhale, Lizzy erupted in a fit of coughing. “What is this?” she managed to choke out.
“Clove,” Esther said dumbly, watching Lizzy drop the soap onto the floor and stand up, fleeing the area. “Too strong?”
Lizzy kept coughing, waving both hands in front of her face to clear the air. “I’d say so. Mercy, it’s like a whole clove tree is in there.” She walked to the large window in the living room and pulled it open. “I can hardly breathe. Why is it so potent?”
“I…” Esther began. “I’m sorry.” She quickly grabbed the dented bar off the floor and put it in the inside pocket of her heavy cloak. “Sorry,” she repeated.
“Why are you sorry?” Lizzy returned to the kitchen, hand over her chest. “It’s not like you made the offensive thing.”
Unable to reply, Esther felt sweat under her arms and the back of her neck, fighting the urge to burst into tears of humiliation.
“Anyway,” Lizzy said,
spreading butter over warm toast. “Last night was fun.”
“Jah,” Esther answered through a wobbly chin, slapping a quick, yet fake, smile on her face.
“I didn’t realize you knew Lucas so well.”
Esther froze, embarrassment from the soap suddenly gone. “What do you mean?”
“When we were younger, I assumed you were closer to Jacob.”
Esther tried to steady her heartbeats and breathing before she started uncontrollably blushing. “That’s true. Lucas”—she was sure her voice cracked around the name—“was older than my friends.”
“That’s why it seemed strange how, I don’t know, comfortable you two were at supper last night. I’m sorry, I suppose I should’ve warned you he’d be joining us. I’m sure your folks wouldn’t approve.”
Esther felt a pit in her stomach. “You think not?”
“Well, your mother’s a sweetheart. She’s got the biggest heart of anyone in Honey Brook. But your father…”
Esther couldn’t help swallowing. “He’s a bit more rigid,” she said, agreeing with Lizzy’s unspoken sentiments. “But Lucas is part of your family. If you decide it’s okay for him to be here, that’s not our business.”
“That’s another thing,” Lizzy began. “I’m not sure even we can—”
Her friend was cut off when the little boys came rushing downstairs, eager for breakfast. Lizzy set to work at filling their plates. Esther tried to help, but her mind was fixed on Lizzy’s unfinished sentence.
Had she been about to say that Lucas would no longer be allowed to visit his family? Was the Ordnung so strict as to not permit a brother to visit home again? That seemed unfair. Lucas hadn’t been baptized, therefore he hadn’t been officially shunned. Was the church unforgiving to the point that Lucas must sever contact with his family forever?
Or maybe Lizzy was going to say something completely different.
Esther had no idea and was too shy to ask. Instead, she did her best to feed the boys and get them ready for church.
During the singings and the deacons’ sermons, Esther struggled to stay focused. She tried to follow along in her Bible, to understand the words preached, to feel the Holy Spirit, but her mind was too tied up in what lay in store for Lucas.
She knew how grateful and ecstatic he was to be with his brother again. If that was all to be taken away, he’d be crushed. Her heart ached for him all the way through Bishop Abram’s preaching.
After the services, they returned to the farm—the boys drenched from playing in the rain without umbrellas and without Lizzy there to keep them in line.
“I’ll get a warm bath going,” Esther said to Jeremiah as they neared the house. Upon entering, Esther noticed the three younger Zook girls were there preparing a new meal.
“Hi.” Lizzy waved from the sofa—wrapped in a blanket, feet propped on a chair, Bible in hand. “Look who’s here.”
Esther smiled, happy to have more hands on board so she could get the boys cleaned up. “Hallo, girls. Danke for coming.” She walked into the kitchen. “What are you making and how can I help?”
“Shepherd’s pie,” Lizzy said, “and you can’t.”
Confusion made her face get hot once more as she felt her jaw go slack. Was she being dismissed from her duties already? Had Lizzy somehow…found out?
“Since it’s still sprinkling, and it’s the Sabbath, and there’s not much to do outside on a day like this, I’ve asked Lucas to run an errand for me in his truck.”
“Oh,” Esther said, playing nonchalant at the mention of his name, all the while longing to talk more about him. Before she could open her mouth, the distinct sound of a car engine and tires on the gravel road drew near.
“Voilà, as the French say.” Lizzy said in a singsong voice.
A swarm of butterflies flew into Esther’s stomach, knowing she was about to see him.
“I’ll get the crates from the shed,” Jeremiah said. “Do not think about moving.” He pointed at his wife who’d just thrown off her blanket. “We’ll take care of everything.”
Lizzy lifted her chin and groaned. “I was only going to tell Esther the rest.”
Jeremiah blew a kiss to his wife before leaving the house. Esther tried not to look out the window when a car door shut. Lucas was right outside the house now, and she’d give anything for one look-see.
“Sorry,” Lizzy said. “We need your help, too. I know it’s the day of rest, but aren’t you supposed to be at my beck and call?”
“Whatever you need,” Esther said, knowing how difficult it was for Lizzy to ask a favor.
“Lucas is delivering our apple preserves over to the Weavers’ store in Lancaster. They’re not open today, but we can drop off the jars any time. Today seems as good a time as any. I’m sorry to have to ask, and tell me if this is completely inappropriate, but I was wondering if you’d go with him.”
Esther’s tongue felt too big for her mouth. “You want me to drive to Lancaster with Lucas?”
Lizzy began waving a hand around in the air. “It’s a terrible idea. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay.” Esther couldn’t help laughing. “Tell me what you need.”
“Well, I worry the Weavers will be hesitant if it’s only Luke. They know you—or, their father knows your father—so it should be fine. Just tell them it’s from us. Jerry will call them from his phone when we think they’re home from church. You know Minister Jansen’s sermons can go on for hours.”
Esther’s mind spun like a top, but she was not about to fritter away the opportunity to be alone with Lucas. “Of course, no problem. Does, um…” She couldn’t help looking out the window. “Does Lucas have the address?”
“Jerry gave it to him. Also, Esther.” Lizzy sat up straight. “Take your time, please. The roads are a mess from the rain, so make sure he drives slowly. Maybe you can find a place to stop for refreshments. You’ve helped us so much the past two days—I’d really like to repay you.”
Esther was nearly giddy inside. Had Lizzy just given her permission to go on a date with Lucas?
“You have nothing to repay,” Esther said, though unable to stop from grinning. “It’s been my pleasure being in your home.”
“You’re sweet,” Lizzy said, then lowered her voice. “The Zook girls really need to learn how to cook and clean. Heaven knows what their mother’s been teaching them. Their being here is definitely a better use of resources, and, since your darling maam expects you to be gone for a while longer, I thought a little adventure for you might be fun.”
Esther’s grin widened. “As long as you think it’s fine with Lucas.”
“Oh, please.” She waved another hand. “That man needs an adventure more than anyone.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
The whole plan felt unreal to Lucas. Even now, as Esther sat beside him in the front seat of his truck, it seemed he was being blessed beyond every good deed he’d ever done.
“Stopped raining,” she said, then rolled down the window. She appeared the cheerful, carefree girl as she slid on a pair of round sunglasses and slanted her face out the window. When a gust of wind nearly blew off her prayer kapp, she grabbed its ties and sat back.
“Learned from last time?” he asked.
“Did I tell you my mother was awake when I got home that night? I nearly forgot I wasn’t wearing my bonnet.”
Lucas ran a hand over his mouth. “What did she say?”
“Nothing, really. She asked where it was, and I answered honestly that I had no idea.”
Too easily, he recalled in perfect detail how she’d looked when arriving at his house that day: her blond hair loose and wild over her shoulders. Before his mind got too far away, he gripped the steering wheel and concentrated on the road.
“If I neglected to tell you before I left last night, dinner was delicious.”
&n
bsp; Esther exhaled a sweet, feminine laugh. “You did tell me, five times.”
“Did I?”
She nodded. “And thank you—for the sixth time.”
As they drove, she asked more questions about that day in the field when he’d reconnected with Jeremiah. Lucas was more than happy to share every detail. The more he spoke of it out loud, the more it truly did feel like he was home.
Far sooner than expected, they arrived in Lancaster. His brother’s directions were easy to follow, and James Weaver’s farm quickly came into view.
“Back in,” Esther directed. “It’ll be easier to unload. Wait, let me jump out first.”
Before he could put the truck in park, she leaped like a graceful kid goat, running to greet James Weaver on the front porch. He watched them chat; then Esther waved her arms, directing him to pull beside the barn.
“Hallo,” James Weaver said, coming to Lucas’s open window. “Mighty nice of you to come all this way for your brother.”
“No problem,” Lucas replied. “Let me help you unload.”
“Looks like your wife’s already taking care of it.”
For a second, Lucas was confused, until James gestured at Esther carrying a small crate of jars.
“She’s not…” He allowed his voice to fade out, deciding to soak in the “what if?” feeling, as ridiculous as it was. “I’ll give her a hand!” he added when his fantasy quickly flew past ridiculous.
He unloaded the biggest crate, feeling his pulse speed up as they passed each other, purposely making his shoulder bump against hers. Mostly in silence, they worked side by side, Esther’s playful eye contact making Lucas want to take her by the shoulders like he had on the street all those weeks ago. This time, however, he wanted to complete the action by pulling her close.
He wasn’t sure if his arms ached at the thought of touching her like that or because of the heavy crates.
In a matter of minutes, their job was done. Lucas started the truck while Esther disappeared inside the house. A few moments later, she reappeared, carrying a basket. Lucas opened her door, relishing her sunny smile as she climbed inside.
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