Too Late... I Love You

by Archer, Kiki

  “Long time ago,” he said, cutting her short.

  Connie flushed. “Yes. Anyway. How’s work?”

  “Oh it’s fantastic! I was up in Manchester yesterday with Karl. He’s doing such a brilliant job. Working so damn hard. He said you’d been holidaying in Brighton?”

  “Just distracting Noah.”

  “Poor little mite. How’s he holding up?”

  “He’s not even noticed Karl’s gone. Are you here for Maria?”

  Louise reddened. “How do you…? Did she...?”

  “Louise. Hi.” Maria appeared next to the woman.

  “I’ve… I just popped in to…” She straightened her suit jacket around her ample bust. “Connie, Ryan, nice to see you both again. Maria, could we grab a quick drink?”

  Connie watched as the two women retreated to the stools by the door, unable to judge Maria’s reaction. She had looked down at her and their eyes had connected, but Connie wasn’t sure if it was a look of apology or guilt? Or was she trying to convey her innocence? Or—

  “Your mind’s in overdrive,” whispered Ryan, “I can hear it whirring.”

  Connie barked back. “Two things: Evelyn’s told Karl about Brighton, and she wants a piece of Maria.”

  Ryan followed Connie’s glare. “Which bothers you the most?”

  “I don’t care about Brighton. I’m free to do as I please.”

  “So why didn’t you tell him?”

  “Karl? He knew I’d be doing something.”

  “But you weren’t specific?”

  Connie shrugged. “He never likes my friends. Why should I mention Maria? I’ll just say I went with you.”

  “He doesn’t like me!”

  “He tolerates you.”

  “A clear conscience has nothing to hide, Connie Parker.”

  “Exactly, so why’s Maria hiding that?” she said, narrowing her eyes to slits.

  Ryan joined in the gawking. “What? What is it?”

  “I don’t know. She’s hiding it. Look, she’s trying to use her back as a shield so we can’t see.”

  “No she’s not. There! It’s a picture. Is that from Louise?”

  Connie nodded. “I saw her pull it out of her bag.”

  “Why would Louise give her a picture?” Ryan continued to stare. “It looks like some arty-farty sort of thing. Nice frame though.”

  “That’s obviously what lesbians do. They don’t do flowers or chocolates. They do pieces of art and surprise visits. I’m so out of my league. Clearly they’ve got a connection. That’s what Maria wants, she doesn’t want… let me think…” Connie paused. “See, there’s actually nothing I could offer her anyway.”

  “You like art.”

  “But not enough to know what to buy the lesbian whose coffee shop’s already overflowing with the stuff.”

  “Offer her great sex then. I’ll take you shopping. We’ll—”

  Connie stood up. “No. The only place you can take me is home.”

  ****

  Maria looked at the print once more. “It’s lovely. But I can’t accept it.”

  “I want you to. It’s my way of apologising. You see how the woman’s holding her daughter? It symbolises how wrong I was to not ask you about Alice. You two come as a pair. I understand that now. I just want one more chance. Please, Maria? My raisin joke was funny, right?”

  “The baby’s a boy.”

  “What baby?”

  “In the picture.”

  Louise shook her blunt fringe and frowned. “It’s just called Mother and Child. It looks like a girl to me.” She pointed at the Klimt prints on the wall. “It’s the same artist though, isn’t it?”

  “No, this one’s by B.K Lusk.”

  “Oh damn it. I popped in at the weekend, hoping to bump into you, but you weren’t here. I saw all the pictures and thought it would be nice to get one to add to your collection.”

  “It was a lovely thought. Thank you, but…” she paused, distracted by the movement at the playpen. “Give me a second.” Maria moved towards the doorway to block Connie’s exit. “You’re not going are you?”

  Connie nodded. “We’ll leave you two in peace.”

  Maria took her arm. “Wait.”

  “Have fun,” she said, not able to control the crispness of her tone.

  Maddalena used the broom that was resting at the end of the counter like a walking stick to increase the speed of her shuffle. “You not go! You stay longer. Tell her, Maria. Bella, bella Connie not go.”

  Connie smiled at the old woman. “Sorry, Maddalena, Noah needs his nap.”

  “Big boy not tired. Look!” She squeezed on Noah’s cheeks. “Alice miss big boy. Maria finish with customer in no time.”

  Louise piped up from her stool. “I’m not a customer.”

  Maddalena glared at her niece. “Why you with her and not Connie then?”

  “Hi, I’m Louise.” The dazzling teeth were out on display as she joined them in the doorway, offering out her hand to Maddalena. “You must be a relative? I’ve always been told there’s some Italian in me.”

  Maddalena ignored the outstretched fingers and glanced at the blue-eyed lady’s breasts, unable to see anything higher. “No Italian in you.”

  Maria tried to turn her aunt back to the counter. “Louise is a friend.”

  Maddalena spun back around. “Lady friend from date?”

  Louise pretended to blush. “I’m usually a very private person but it seems Maria here’s been telling everyone about our little liaison.”

  “Shoo.” Maddalena lifted up the broom and tried to brush the woman out of the shop. “Shoo, lady. You no good for my girl. My girl want nice lady like Connie.”

  “Oww!” Louise bent down to rub her ankles, knocked off balance by the broom.

  “Shoo, lady. Shoo.”

  “Stop it!” Maria took the weapon away from her elderly aunt. “Sorry, Louise.”

  Louise straightened her suit and stood upright, realisation hitting her harder than the broom. “Someone nice like Connie? So that’s where you were this weekend.” She turned to her rival. “Karl was wondering about Brighton.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  It was one-thirty p.m. and nothing was different, yet the house seemed quieter than usual. Noah was halfway through his midday nap and Connie was tucked under the stairs trying to step into Bonnie and Mark’s perfect world, but it just wasn’t happening. Usually she’d be sucked in the minute she sat down, an outpouring of words flowing from her fingers, advancing their story with all of the thoughts and visions that had consumed her since she’d last been able to write. Not today though. Today she was sitting in silence, just listening to the loneliness that seemed to be lingering around her. Connie closed her eyes. What was so different? Karl was never usually around at this time, and neither was Ryan, so why did it feel so quiet, so empty? She squeezed her eyes tighter, hoping the small tear welling behind her lashes wouldn’t find its way onto her cheek. It did, and she let it run freely, following its downward journey towards her keyboard, flattened into a thin film, broken by the impact. She lifted her fingers, she knew the answer. Bonnie’s story was too saccharine. People wanted the happy ending, but only after the struggle. Life wasn’t easy. People made mistakes. Mark would have his moment of madness.

  ‘Trust is to believe, then accept, and have faith in, without knowing or seeing the truth. I know I’ve never cheated, I’ve seen how I behave, so I trust that I’ll be loyal. I love him. I won’t hurt him. But how can I trust him when I don’t see his proof? When I don’t know his truth? We’re strangers brought together after years of living apart. What do we ever truly know about that person? Do we trust what they say? Or wait until we see what they do? Only then accepting their truth for what it actually is: honesty or lies.’

  She paused her typing, sure that she’d heard a quiet tapping. She listened again. Noah would usually shout out the minute he woke, calling her upstairs for a cuddle. She checked the time. He probably had at least anot
her hour in him yet. Her ears pricked up at the quiet noise. Yes, something was definitely tapping. She pushed herself backwards out of the cupboard and spotted the shape in the window. Someone was standing on the tiny strip of gravel outside her lounge. She abandoned the chair and knelt on the sofa to pull up the net curtains, an essential for every main road London property where the pavement was only metres away. She smiled, her heart swelling as she saw Maria standing there, waving.

  “What are you doing?” she mouthed, unable to stop her grin.

  Maria shrugged. “Just waving,” she mouthed back.

  Connie pointed right. “Do you want to come in?”

  Maria’s response was an adorable, yet meaningful, nod.

  Connie tiptoed to the door and opened it quietly.

  “Ryan came back,” she whispered, standing still on the doorstep. “He told me to come.”

  “Did you want to come?”

  “I’ve wanted to come here every day since I met you, but you’ve never let me.”

  Connie lifted her hands to the pitiful porch and kept her voice low. “Now you know why.”

  “He told me to tap on the door so I didn’t wake Noah, but I knew you’d be writing so I thought I’d try the window instead.”

  “Door, window, it’s all the same in my metre wide house.”

  “I’m not here to see your house.”

  Connie lost herself in the brooding brown eyes. “No?”

  “I’m here to see you.” Maria took Connie by the waist, holding the back of her head and kissing her with passion.

  Connie felt her knees buckle, overwhelmed with emotion, terrified by her lack of control but too intoxicated by the intensity to end the connection. They were kissing, so deeply, on her doorstep. She pulled back, drawing Maria into the house and shutting the door, returning the kiss with as much force as had been given, touching Maria’s skin, tasting her sweetness. “Here,” she gasped, pulling her down onto the sofa.

  “He’s sleeping?” managed Maria, her lips back on Connie’s, their bodies pushed roughly together.

  “Mmm hm.” Connie was breathless. “Alice?”

  “Maddalena.”

  “Good,” she gasped, unable to hold herself back from the smooth skin and supple lips, feeling the heat from their flushed cheeks as they kissed with such fervour, igniting every sense in her body. Connie felt Maria’s fingers on the back of her neck, trailing down her top until they reached her spine, finding their way onto her skin. She moaned deeply, wanting the contact, encouraging the exploration, needing the experience. “Touch me,” she urged.

  Maria shifted her position, straddling Connie on the sofa, forcing her back into the cushions with each powerful embrace as she trailed her thumbs up her body.

  Connie succumbed to the sensation, her skin sending shivers of anticipation with each inch Maria continued to climb, strong fingers now at the edge of her bra. Connie gasped, desperate for them to slide beneath and touch her. Desperate for them to feel her properly. Desperate for them to own her. Desperate for them to—

  Both jumped at the groan that sounded from the monitor, with Maria diving off the sofa in shock. “Noah,” she gasped.

  Connie tried to straighten her hair, aware that it would be pointless, but feeling it was the appropriate thing to do. “He’s just stirring.”

  Maria stood up and tucked herself in. “So…”

  “So.”

  “So I just came round to say hi,” she said with a smile.

  Connie laughed quietly. “Can all of our hellos be like that from now on, please?”

  “I’m not sure a polite cheek kiss would suffice anymore.” Maria crouched in front of the sofa and stared at Connie with sincerity shining in her dark eyes. “Louise is a no one. I saw the look in your eye, Connie. You have to trust me. It’s exactly as I said. We had a date, it was awful, she texted a couple of times trying to entice me back but it didn’t work, so she showed up today with her final play.”

  “That picture?”

  Maria nodded. “And it was sweet, but I’m not interested.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because she’s not you.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. She won’t be back.” Both heard Noah’s second groan. “Bounce-a-rama tomorrow? We can plan out our weekend?”

  Connie smiled. “Just try and stop me.”

  “I’ll let myself out,” said Maria. “You’re looking rather incapacitated down there.”

  Connie laughed as Maria sneaked out the door. As it shut she closed her eyes and let out a silent wail of pure exhilaration. She jumped up and raced to her keyboard, typing as fast as she could.

  ‘He said: “Marry me.” Mark wants to marry me! That’s all the proof I need.’

  “Coming, Noah.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “Well hello, lady,” said Connie, walking up to Maria’s table at Bounce-a-rama.

  “Hello to you too, pretty miss.” Maria stepped forwards and kissed Connie on the lips, lingering slightly too long for mere friendship.

  Connie could feel herself floating with giddiness, as if it were just her and the dark-haired seductress in the room. She pulled away quickly and glanced around, spotting Earth Mother and Crusty in the corner. “Maria!”

  “What? You said you wanted every hello to be special.”

  Connie looked again. “They saw.”

  “Good, maybe they’ll come out of the closet.”

  “They might just be friends who happen to have the same wedding rings.”

  Maria frowned. “And engagement rings? And they snog in the ball pit?”

  “Ooo, can we snog in the ball pit?”

  “After I bounce you on the princess castle.”

  “You’re on,” giggled Connie, kicking off her shoes and running towards the big pink inflatable.

  “I’ve already got my shoes off!” sang Maria, catching up with her quickly and lifting her by the waist, throwing her straight onto the cushions.

  “Make me fly!” squealed Alice, sliding herself off the pirate ship to join the whoops and the laughter.

  “Noah fly too!” giggled the small boy, bounding towards them and diving straight onto Maria’s back.

  Maria rolled over and scooped him up, bouncing around as she flew him in her arms.

  “Me, me, me!” pleaded Alice, leaping about in utter excitement.

  “I’m coming for you, little lady,” said Connie, chasing her and swinging her round by the hands.

  “Me swing, me swing!” yelled Noah, wriggling free from his position as pilot and charging straight at his mother.

  Connie lost her balance, letting go of Alice like Fatima Whitbread throwing the hammer.

  “Again!” shouted Alice, peeling herself off the pink castle wall.

  “Let’s do a group one,” said Maria, forming a circle and encouraging both of the children to take hold of her hands. “Come on, Mummy Connie, you’ve got to go opposite me.”

  “On my way, Mummy Maria,” said Connie, trying to pull herself up and wade across the bouncy pillows as quickly as possible, a difficult feat given her short legs and the sheer size of the castle. “I’m here.” She joined up the hands. “What are we doing?”

  “This!” said Maria, jumping them all round in a circle.

  “Whirlpool!” giggled Alice.

  “Faster!” shouted Noah, his feet not touching the floor.

  “Whirlpool?” said Connie, finding it more difficult to breathe with each swinging bounce. “Good word for a three-year-old.”

  “We play this in the pool when we’re swimming, don’t we, Alice?”

  “And we let go!” giggled the little girl, freeing her fingers and launching herself into the air, causing Connie to fall backwards once more, this time dragging Maria and Noah down with her.

  “Alice!” Maria laughed. “We’ll keep going round when we let go in the water, but not in the air!”

  “Again, again, again!” said the little girl, desperate to fly u
p to the turret.

  “Do you mind if we join you?” Earth Mother and Crusty were standing barefoot at the base of the castle.

  “Umm sure,” said Maria, trying to remember their real names. “Bertha wasn’t it?”

  “And Clare,” added Connie.

  Earth Mother’s voice was louder and more confident than ever before. “Yes. It looks like so much fun, and please forgive us, we didn’t realise you were a rainbow family. We’d have approached you sooner had we known.”

  “In the club.” Crusty giggled, still as nervous as ever.

  “Slides!” shouted Alice, pulling her friend away by the hand.

  “I thought you wanted to do the circle again?” said Maria, aware that the family of four were already clambering onto the pillows.

  “No,” said her daughter, bouncing onto another inflatable.

  “Slides,” agreed Noah, more than happy to be taken charge of.

  “Come on, Noah, once more?” asked Connie, trying not to sound too desperate as he disappeared behind a wobbling wall. “Obviously not,” she said to the group now all standing rather awkwardly as if they were about to embark on some sort of old-fashioned circle dance. She couldn’t look at Maria knowing she’d laugh if she did; the toe-curlingly cringe-worthy nature of the situation too much to address.

  “So,” said Maria, clearly struggling to keep hold of her own composure, “let’s all hold hands.”

  The family of four joined up, leaving one of Crusty’s hands and one of Earth Mother’s hands free for Connie and Maria to complete the circle. Maria grabbed hold of Connie, squeezing their fingers together in amusement, before taking Earth Mother’s hand too, so Connie would pair up with Crusty.

  “Right,” said Connie.

  “You’ve got soft hands,” giggled Crusty, looking more excited than both of the little boys.

  “And go!” said Maria, starting the bouncing.

  “Bounce round!” added Connie as she jumped straight into Crusty’s side.

  “Oh we see, we see, we see,” said Earth Mother, getting into the rhythm.

  Connie couldn’t bear to look. The huge udders were flying free, totally braless under the thin fabric tie-dye dress. She felt her fingers being squeezed even tighter and lifted her eyes to Maria, letting out an involuntary snort as she saw the sheer amusement on Maria’s face.