by Jessie Cooke
I let her legs down and I slid my hand over her tits to her neck. I curved my hand around the back of it and held it back while I lowered my mouth to her soft flesh. I could taste the salt of her sweat as I pressed my lips into her and then nipped it with my teeth. I kept pounding into her, not losing our rhythm, feeling her getting tighter…closer to her own explosion.
I was grunting trying to stay quiet…it was fucking hard as I felt myself tipping over the edge. Rose grabbed my ass with both hands and pulled me into her so forcefully that it surprised me. “Don’t stop,” she panted. “Don’t stop baby, I’m coming…”
I couldn’t even speak…the urges that I’d been having every second since last week after we were together came to a head…literally. She tensed underneath me and grabbed my arms just as I gave myself over to my own climax. I shoved into her hard three or four more times as the orgasm rolled over and over me and she tensed and then shook with her own. I put my mouth to her neck so I wouldn’t be loud and I let out one last grunt and gave my hips one final thrust…hard and deep, before I let my quaking body drop down on top of hers.
“Fuck!” I found her lips with my own and sucked her bottom one into my mouth. She shoved her tongue into my mouth and we kissed hard at first, letting it slow down with our heart beats and our panting breaths. Just before I rolled off her so she could breathe, I thrust one last time. She clenched around me…Fuck, I could do this forever.
She gave me about fifteen minutes before handing me my clothes and ushering me out the door. I may have been insulted if she hadn’t taken a handful of my shirt just before she pushed me out the front door and said,
“That was the most fucking fantastic thing I’ve ever experienced. Thank you.”
I smiled. That was exactly what I was hoping to hear. I kissed her one more time and said, “Thank you, beautiful. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Something flickered across her face like she was having second thoughts about tomorrow, but she didn’t tell me not to go. I continued to count myself as invited.
9
Kyle
It’s one p.m. now and I’m standing at the entrance to the Bronx Zoo and I have no fucking idea what I’m doing here. I can’t stop thinking about Rose and last night only made it worse…or better? My only issue with her at all is the fact that she’s a mother. I don’t fuck around with mothers…ever. But when it came to Rose, no matter how many times I reminded myself of my no dating women with kid’s policy…I just couldn’t get her out of my head. Every time I thought about her, my mind went back to last night and that hot kiss up against the wall. The sound of her sexy voice over the phone, knowing she was touching herself…My dick would get hard and before I knew it, I was like a teenager who had just discovered the joys of masturbation. After I got off, I’d remind myself once again about the policy…I did that three times between last night and this morning. I was kind of wishing I could do it again right now.
That thought lasted until I looked around at all the kids and their parents. I don’t want to be a parent. I wouldn’t have any idea how to go about it. It wasn’t that I had bad parents…they were just different than most, I think because of what happened to my brother. It was almost like they were afraid to love me too much. If they did and the same kind of thing happened to me…then it would hurt just as much. I was luckier than another kid might be though because living on the Rez was different in and of itself. The Paiutes took the old saying, “It takes a village” to heart. Everyone knew what happened to my brother and they knew the toll it had taken on my parents. I became a community project…and that was probably a good thing since I was quite the little handful. It left me with an inflated ego…having thirty people a day tell you how talented and good-looking you are will do that. Unfortunately, it didn’t leave me with much of an idea of what a real family was supposed to be like.
“Hey.” I jumped at the sound of her voice. I’d been so lost in my thoughts I didn’t see her approach.
“Hey there,” I said. I automatically leaned in for a kiss. I wanted to touch her. She took a step back and said,
“Kyle, this is my son, Carlo.”
“Hey there, Carlo.” The little boy had dark hair and eyes like his mom. He had a skinny arm wrapped around her leg and he was looking up at me from behind it with one eye. She tapped him on his head and said,
“Manners, Carlo.”
“Hi.” he said, into her jeans.
She smiled. My heart sped up. “He’s a little shy.” I wish I had my face in her jeans.
“I understand. I’m the same way.”
Rose rolled her eyes and smiled. She looked down at her little boy and said, “You ready to go see some tigers Carlo?” He nodded into her leg. She separated him from her and took his hand. I pulled out my wallet as we made it to the front gate and she made a face at me and said, “This is my treat.”
That was ridiculous. I already had my AMEX card out. It had no limit. She’s a single mother. Women don’t pay my way for things…ever. I started to argue with her but she gave me the same look I saw her give her sister the day she took me to her house. I didn’t want an ass-chewing, so I let her pay. The little blonde at the counter was about nineteen. She took Rose’s money and handed her three tickets and then her eyes landed on me.
“Oh my God! Oh my God! You’re Kyle Case.”
I grinned and winked at her. It was automatic… “Guilty,” I said.
“Oh my God! Will you take a picture with me?” She was holding out her phone to Rose. Rose was looking at her like she was insane.
“Sure, you don’t mind, do you, Rose?”
“Oh of course not, I mean it’s not every day that a girl gets to see Kyle Case up close and personal, right?”
I smiled at her. She got it, “That’s right. She’ll need one picture so she can prove it to her friends.”
Rose was smiling as she said, “Absolutely! I’d love nothing more than to take your photo with another woman.” I suddenly got the feeling that she was being sarcastic…She knew who I was…obviously. She couldn’t really expect to go out in public with me and not have at least one person asking for an autograph, right? Was she really jealous?
She pulled the phone out of the oblivious girl’s hand as I slid my arm around her and smiled. Rose snapped the picture, tossed the phone on the counter and walked her son through the gates. She just left me standing there. That was kind of rude. I started to follow her when I heard,
“Can I have your autograph too?” Another employee had come over to where we stood. That was when I heard it. The pitch of the crowd picked up behind me. My ears were tuned to it. They all realized who I was and suddenly I couldn’t get through the crowd if I had wanted to. My manager tells me all the time I shouldn’t be walking around without security, but small crowds are usually manageable if you just sign a few autographs and let them snap a few photos of you. It was what kept me in business after all.
I looked towards the gates. Rose and her boy weren’t anywhere in sight. Oh well, the zoo’s not that big. I’ll catch up. “Sure darlin’. You have a pen?”
I don’t know how long I stood there signing autographs, I lost track of time. The zoo had sent security out. I thought they were going to break up the crowd, but I guess they were just there to keep the peace. They stood by as I took photos and signed t-shirts and finally when my hand was starting to cramp up, I looked at one of the guys and holding out a hundred-dollar bill I said,
“I need to go find my friend. Would you mind…?”
The security officer didn’t answer me. Instead, he took the money and stepped in between me and the crowd and said, “Sorry folks, that’s it for today.” While he was talking to them, I slipped inside. I took my sunglasses out of my pocket and put them on and then stepped into the zoo gift shop and bought a hat and a t-shirt. I went into the bathroom and changed my shirt, tossing the other one into the trash. I looked into the mirror. Even with a giraffe hat and shirt on, I was a pretty good-looking guy. I didn’t look like me
though, so that was good. I left there and went to find Rose and…I can’t remember her kid’s name. That’s probably not good.
It took me a good half an hour or so but I finally found them in front of the alligator habitat. I walked up behind Rose and put my hands on her waist. She jumped and turned around like she was going to hit me. She moved out of my grasp. I guess I’m not supposed to touch in front of the kid. I held my palms up and smiled. She didn’t smile back. She started to open her mouth, but then she looked down at the boy.
“Carlo, let’s go over here and look at the tortoises.” She led him away from the alligators and stood him in front of the giant tortoises that looked like Volkswagen’s. Then she turned to me, narrowed her eyes and said, “We’re almost finished here. You’re welcome to leave.”
I was genuinely confused. What the fuck was she mad at me for? “I thought we were going to do this together.”
“So did I,” she said. “But that was three hours ago, before you decided you’d rather feel up a teenage girl.”
“Feel her up? Are you kidding?”
“Shush! Carlo’s going to hear you.”
I lowered my voice and said, “I wasn’t feeling her up. She was a fan. I took a picture with her.”
“Fine, whatever, I don’t even care.”
“I think you do. If you didn’t, this wouldn’t even be a big deal.”
“It’s not a big deal. We’re just almost finished.”
“Mama! Can we go see the snakes?”
“Sure baby.” She took Carlo’s hand and led him into the reptile house. I followed them. Once we were inside, Carlo climbed up on the step they’d put there for kids and he walked along looking through the glass at the exhibits.
In a whisper, I said, “I’m sorry if I pissed you off.”
“No, you’re not.”
Jesus! This woman was something. “How do you know I’m not? I just said that I am.”
“You’re not. You’re saying that because you think that’s what I want to hear. If you had any respect for anyone other than yourself, you would have told those people you were on a date.”
I grinned. “We’re on a date?”
“No!”
“You just said…”
“I know what I said. Hush!”
“If you keep hushing me, you’re going to give me a complex.”
“Fat chance of that ever happening.”
I laughed. “So, you have issues with my self-confidence, is that it?”
“There’s a fine line between self-confidence and narcissism.”
“It’s just my job. I’m sure when you start publishing things you wrote, you’ll get the same reception when you go places.”
“You keep telling yourself that it’s just your job, Kyle. I can see it in your eyes though, you love that shit.”
“So what’s wrong with that? Don’t you like your job?”
“Mama! Look at the blue frog.”
“That’s so cool baby!” Her voice completely changed when she talked to the boy. With me the words were all spat out like she couldn’t stand the taste of them. I had to ask myself again, what the hell am I doing here? “Nothing is wrong with it…I guess. I just don’t want my son exposed to it, and I’ve been there and done that with men who think with nothing but their egos,” she glanced at her son, lowered her voice even more and said, “AKA their dicks. I’m not going there again. So, you may as well just go now.” Rose turned back towards her son. They had their heads together, looking at a Salamander. She was right. There was no reason for me to still be here. I would never be normal and that’s what this woman and her kid need…I turned around and left. On my way out of the gates I pulled off the stupid hat and sunglasses. I spent another hour signing autographs before I had to pay the greedy security officer another fifty bucks to get them off of me. I went back to my hotel, pissed.
10
Rose
“Rosie!” Lynn was calling me from the living room. I’d left her alone with the kids for five minutes so I could take the cookies out of the oven and she was already calling me. Sometimes I think I need to leave someone to watch her too.
“What?”
“Come here!”
“I’m taking the cookies out! What’s wrong?”
“Kyle’s new video is on!”
For six months I have ignored everything that was Stone Mother or Kyle Case. He walked out of the zoo that day and I’ve done everything I could to forget about him…well, almost everything. For some weird reason, he still texts me at least once a week. I’ve never answered a single one of them, and they don’t really say anything other than where he’s at or that he’s recording an album or doing a personal appearance. I’ve never figured out why he does that, but every time I’m tempted to respond, I have to remind myself that we have absolutely nothing in common. I have my memories of that one hot day and night and sometimes…a lot of the time, I touch myself when I think about him. But during the day I’m more disciplined. When I see his face on the cover of a magazine in the grocery store, I turn my back to it. When I see his face on TV, I change the channel, and when my sister cried for three days because she caught Guy getting a blowjob from a groupie in the back of the new tour bus that Kyle bought, I’d never once asked anything about him…nothing at all. If he was getting blow jobs in the new bus too…and I’m sure he was getting plenty of them, I didn’t want to know about it.
“I’m busy!” I told her. I finished taking out the cookies and putting them on a plate to cool for the kids. Tommy was on shift until three so I had all the kids today. It was Saturday and Carlo had just finished his first week of kindergarten. He loved it. I still cried every morning on my way home after I left him there. He was getting big too fast, and although him being in school was going to give me a lot more time to get my work finished during the day, I missed him like crazy.
Lynn pushed open the kitchen door. “You never really told me what happened between you two,” she said as she grabbed one of the warm cookies off the plate on the island.
“Nothing happened,” I said.
“Then why do you refuse to even talk about him?” That’s a good question, one that I don’t have an answer to. It wasn’t like we were in a relationship…or even dating. We had one evening of conversation, one afternoon of hot sex, phone sex and the hottest follow-up to that I’ve ever experienced. But then there was that one day when I saw who he really was and had to force myself outside of the fantasy and realize this was real life. I had responsibilities. That was it. Nothing to talk about. Lynn doesn’t need to know about the text messages…or how I feel for days afterwards when I get one…or even that I’ve begun to look forward to them. None of it was worth talking about because my fifteen minutes of fame with the rock star burned out in ten. It was over almost before it began.
“I just don’t see the point, Lynn. What do you want to talk about? We did what a lot of adults do…we used each other. I needed the release; he was obviously slumming that day.” I hadn’t told her about the phone sex…or the rest of that night. That was mine to hold onto.
“Oh knock it off! Slumming! You’re talking about yourself the way you used to with Bobby. He’s going to be in New York again this weekend, Rosie. He likes you. He sent me two tickets.”
I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “You’ve been talking to him?”
“Yeah, just a couple of times. He called me to see how you were. He told me he texts you sometimes but you never answer.” Kyle is not Bobby and Lynn isn’t the innocent girl she used to be…
“What did you tell him?”
“I didn’t tell him anything about you. I don’t know anything to tell. If I was going to guess, I would say my big sister has feelings for the hot rock star…but that’s just my opinion. We talked about his shows and his new video.”
“What are your feelings for him, Lynn?” I felt mean all of a sudden and I wanted to take it out on my sister.
“What do you mean?”
“Just what I said. You’re not with Guy anymore…the whole reason we went to that stupid concert and met Kyle that night was because you wanted to be with him…And you seem to be keeping in touch.”
“Rosie please don’t do this.”
“I’m not doing anything. I asked you a simple question. Why not just answer it?” I felt like such a bitch, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“Rosie he likes you! He wants you! You’re the one that told him he should leave that day at the zoo, he told me…”
“It seems like Kyle tells you a lot. Maybe he’s called you more than once, Lynn, huh? Or maybe…you’ve gone to see him.”
“Oh knock it off! Stop it!” she had tears in her eyes and the bitch in me wanted to give way to the big sister. “I’ve paid for what I did with Bobby and you said that was forgiven…I would never go there again! I think you like him as much as he does you and it scares you. You’ve built this fucking ten-foot wall around yourself and you refuse to let anyone inside. You can’t blame me for that. I wouldn’t touch him now if he begged me for it…I know that you want him…and he wants you!” A tear escaped and rolled down her face. I felt like shit.
I mentally shook myself and said, “I’m sorry Lynn, you’re right. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
She wiped her tear and said, “I do. You have feelings for him. What is up with cheating yourself out of everything good in life, Rosie? You deserve better.”
I told my sister the truth, “I do have feelings for him, but they’re too strong, Lynn. I’m just a distraction to him while he’s in New York. I would never be able to fit into his lifestyle…I can’t let myself, and possibly my kid, fall in love with another man who is going to hurt us.”
“I don’t want you to be alone forever, Rosie.”
“Better happy alone than miserable with someone else, right?”