by Jessie Cooke
“Fuck! What is she using?”
“I don’t know. Kyle says she looks like she’s in opiate withdrawals.”
“Kyle huh? How much does that clown have to do with her being so messed up?”
“Kyle’s sober, Tommy. He’s been sober for almost a year now. He’s not giving her drugs, or making her take anything. We all need to stop making excuses for Lynn and either taking the blame or pointing fingers at other people. Lynn’s a grown woman. None of us treat her that way. We’re not helping her. We’re enabling her bad behavior.”
My big, tough cop brother looked like he wanted to cry. He had a hard time seeing me as an adult and I was damned near thirty years old. He was born a classic big brother. He saw it as his job to take care of us from the moment we were born and when anything happened to either one of us he somehow found a way to blame himself. He was worse with Lynn than me because he truly didn’t think of her as a grown-up.
“So, what are we going to tell Ma?”
I laughed. That netted me a mean look.
“We have to tell her something, right? Lynn lives there. If she doesn’t show up, Ma will be sending out the troops to look for her.”
He was right. We were such a mess, three grown-ups who live in fear of disappointing our parents, constantly. “I don’t know what to tell her yet. Let’s see how bad off Lynn is first before we make any decisions. Maybe Ma won’t need to know at all.”
Tommy gave me a “Yeah, right” look, but he didn’t say anything. About five minutes later the idea that Ma might not need to find out was a moot point. My phone was ringing. It was our mother. Shit! “It’s Ma.” I let it ring again.
“Are you going to answer it?”
“Why don’t you answer it?”
He laughed. “I’m driving…and she called you, not me.”
“Always so fucking logical.” It rang again.
“Answer it!” He was still laughing. Punk!
I pushed accept and then put it on speaker phone. “Hi Ma.”
“Rosie! Where is your sister? She’s not answering her phone!”
“Calm down, Ma. You’re yelling.”
“I will not calm down! I walk into the A & P first thing on a Saturday morning and see my daughter’s face plastered all over the tabloids at the counter….”
“Wait, slow down Ma…”
“I will not slow down! What was Lynn doing with that Kyle? Why did her face look all beat up?”
“Beat up? What do you mean beat up, Ma?” Tommy suddenly went from worried to pissed in ten seconds flat.
“Tommy? What are you doing there? What is going on? Should I call your father?”
“No!” Tommy and I said at the same time. Tommy looked at me and said, “Tell her.”
I told my mother what I knew so far. As soon as I finished, she made me remember why none of us has told her yet to mind her own business. Once she had the facts, she calmed down and set about making it all right.
“I’ll start making calls. We’ll need to find a good facility for her to go to. When I sent Uncle Paulie for his alcohol detox he had to get cleared medically first, so get her skinny ass to the hospital as soon as you get there.”
“Okay,” again, Tommy and I said it together. Ma was quiet for a minute and then she said,
“You’re a good sister, Rosie…and Tommy?”
“Yeah Ma?”
“Stop looking over at the phone and put your eyes on the road! You’re a cop for Christ’s sake, you should know that.”
“I’m looking at the road, Ma.”
“Good, keep looking. Remember that you’re not on a high-speed chase. Don’t take risks with your sister in the car.”
“I won’t, Ma.”
“Tommy.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re a good brother too.”
Tommy was shaking his head, but he was smiling. “Thanks Ma.” Rosie ended the call and Tommy turned serious again. “Why does she look beat up?”
“I don’t know. Kyle didn’t say anything about that.”
“That Putz better not have anything to do with this if he knows what’s good for him.”
“Oh stop it! Thank God Kyle was there. What if she was found there by security and she hadn’t known to tell them to take her to Kyle? She’d probably be in jail right now, or worse.”
Tommy dropped it…for now and we drove in virtual silence the rest of the way to Albany. As we drove up to the hotel I suddenly realized that I was about to see Kyle. I’d been so wrapped up in my sister’s issues that I hadn’t really thought of it that way…my heart rate automatically accelerated and my palms got all sweaty and I was having a little bit of a hard time breathing. All of that was just thinking about seeing him. I’m not sure what kind of hold this guy has over me but I know that I need to make damned sure I’m not left alone with him. I glanced over at my brother as we walked into the hotel lobby. His jaw was set and his face looked like we were on our way in to serve a warrant. I’m pretty sure I won’t have to worry about being left alone with Kyle.
We took the elevator up to the tenth floor. When we got off the elevator I had to almost run to keep up with Tommy. He was getting more agitated the closer we got. Tommy raised his arm to knock when we reached Kyle’s room and I grabbed it with both hands. Even together they didn’t wrap around his bicep.
“What?”
“Please don’t give Kyle any shit.”
“If he doesn’t deserve any shit, I won’t give him any.” He raised his arm again and I grabbed it again.
“What the fuck, Rose?”
“I’m serious. Take a breath and calm down and remember that our little sister is an adult and no matter where she got the drugs, she chose to use them herself.”
“You think Case gave her the drugs?”
“No!”
“Then why did you just say, no matter where she got them?”
“I just don’t want you to go in there and lose your cool. I don’t want you to take out your anger on Kyle.”
“You sure are protective of this dickhead.”
“I’m not protective of him. This just isn’t his fault. He’s helping us out so stop calling him names.”
“Fine Rosie, I won’t take my anger out on your boyfriend. Can I knock now?” Kyle pulled the door open and suddenly all I could see were those dark chocolate eyes. I’ve heard of tunnel vision but this was my first experience with it. It was like everything else around me disappeared and time slowed down. He’s too fucking perfect. He acted like he didn’t even see my giant brother framed in the doorway. He was looking at me.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“Um, not time for a lover’s reunion here. Where’s Lynn?” Fucking Tommy. Kyle finally looked at him then like he only just realized he was there. He took a step back and Tommy brushed past him. Then he returned that intense gaze to my face. I wanted to look away. I wanted to remember that I was there for my sister…but damn it was hard.
“Rose!” As usual, my brother brought me back down to earth.
“Oh Lynnie!” Our little sister was lying in the big bed in the enormous suite. She looked so small and once again it was hard for me to remember that she’s not a little girl any longer…far from it. She had a white towel on her forehead and her blonde hair was stuck to her face in places. She was shaking like she was cold and sweating at the same time. Her right eye was black underneath and swollen around the top. Her lips were so dry they were cracked. There was a long cut that ran from the side of her mouth down her chin and an abrasion on her cheek. Tommy looked up at Kyle and said,
“What happened to her face?”
“I don’t know. She looked like that when they found her. She said she was here with a guy but beyond that she didn’t remember anything.” Kyle was talking to Tommy, but he was still looking at me. I was shaking all over and I wasn’t sure how much of it was seeing my sister in this condition, and how much was Kyle’s presence in the room. He was sucking out all of
the oxygen and my lungs were beginning to burn. His black hair was all messed up. He was unshaven. He was wearing a white A-frame tank and a pair of old, faded jeans. He is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. It hurts my heart to look at him.
Silently cursing my shaky voice, I asked Kyle, “How long has she been asleep?”
“I gave her a sleeping pill a couple hours ago.”
“Seriously? Because more shit is what she needed in her body?” Tommy was on his feet and my hand was on his arm.
Kyle didn’t flinch. “Because she was uncomfortable as hell. She’s cramping up and crying out. I had to do something for her.”
“I think you’ve done enough.”
“Tommy, stop it!”
“I told you I wouldn’t punch your boyfriend in his fucking face. I didn’t promise that I wouldn’t tell him what I thought of him.”
“You should be thanking him!”
“Look at her Rose! She wasn’t like this before she started hanging out with this fucking band.”
“She’s been in one mess or another since she was fourteen years old, Tommy! If you can’t keep your hot-head in check you can leave and let me deal with this.”
Tommy shot Kyle another look, but I could tell by his posture that the anger was receding. He sat back down by Lynn and brushed the hair out of her face. I took Kyle by the arm and led him a few steps away.
Before I could say anything, he smirked and said, “He called me your boyfriend.” Sometimes I feel like I’m surrounded by fucking sixth graders.
“Get over yourself, Kyle. Did she ever say what happened to her face?”
“No, she really has no idea.”
“She’s a mess.”
“I missed you, Rosie.” I rolled my eyes and went back to my sister. I missed him too. Way too much.
12
Kyle
Rose is probably right. I do need to get over myself…but then she would be my only obsession and as much as I probably need to get over her, I don’t want to. She ignored my remark about being her boyfriend. I guess I deserved that because considering what was going on with her sister that was a pretty juvenile thought on my part.
Rose and her brother…who hates me by the way…finally got Lynn to wake up enough to tell her she was going to the hospital whether she wanted to or not. She was as mean as a snake when she woke up. I wanted to tell them both not to take it personally…it was an addict thing, but I realized that they didn’t need to hear it. They were so used to being part of a family and caring about each other that it didn’t matter what she said. They were still going to take care of her and they were all still going to love each other in the morning. I wonder if they know how lucky they are.
Lynn talked them out of calling an ambulance. Rosie cleaned her up some while Tommy bored holes in me with his eyes and then we helped her downstairs. We helped her into the back of Tommy’s car and before Rosie got in the front seat she looked at me and said,
“Thank you, Kyle.” I let myself wonder what she would do if I just kissed her right there. My lips ached for it. I had to believe that she might knee me in the crotch and her brother might finish me off, so I didn’t do it.
“You’re welcome. I’m not leaving for Jersey until tomorrow. Do you want me to come with you?” Please say yes….
Her eyes looked like she did want me to come. That was my encouragement. She smiled and that only served to encourage me more. Then she said, “No thank you, Kyle, this is a family thing. We’ll handle it. I do appreciate your help. You go and take care of your business.” That was the dagger through my heart.
“Rose…”
“Rosie, let’s go!” Tommy was barking at her. I guess if a guy like me was hitting on my sister, I wouldn’t like it either. Rosie at least gave me a reluctant look before getting in the car and closing the door. I don’t think I’m imagining it. I think she wants me. I’m not sure why she’s fighting it so hard, but I’m still not ready to give up.
I went back to the room and tried to clean up and air it out a little. No offense to Lynn, but detoxing is some dirty business. Then I sat down and called my manager.
“Hey Kyle! Are you on your way?”
“Not yet. I’ll get a flight out in the morning…”
“Shit! Kyle you just got your own shit together! You don’t need to be caught up in this mess. Have you read that tabloid article? They’re saying you’re partying again…”
“I don’t give a fuck what they say. It’s not true. I’m helping out a friend…”
“A friend with a sister that you’re in love with.”
“I’m not in love with her.”
“Yeah right, whatever. Kyle, you have to think about your reputation here. It’s your bread and butter.”
“That’s funny, Jerry. I thought that my talent was my bread and butter.”
“You know how talented I think you are, Kyle. But when it comes to marketing, it’s all a package deal and you know that.”
“If Rose and her family need my help Jerry, I’m going to help them, period. Now, let’s get back to the reason I called.”
“Silly me, I thought you were calling to tell me when you might show up for the concert you’re headlining.”
I laughed. “That and I got a call earlier from Axel Maxwell.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You better not be fucking kidding me!”
“Jeez, calm down. I’m not kidding. Why is he calling me?”
“You didn’t answer it? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I was busy. He left a message.”
“He? He called himself? Your brain has got to be made out of fucking oatmeal kid! What did he say?”
“I think you have the hots for this guy.”
“Are you kidding? He’s the king of the music business. I’d suck his dick all day long for a contract with him!”
“Okay, you’ve just made me nauseous.”
“What did he say?”
“He wants me to call him. He wants to meet. That’s all he said.”
“Then call him!”
“You’re my manager. You call him.”
“Do you want “Max the Axe” to think that you think you’re too good to call him after he called you himself? Jesus boy just stick your career in the oven and turn the gas on why don’t you?”
“Fine, I’ll call him.”
“Be nice! Say yes to whatever he wants and call me right back!”
“Okay, but if he wants his dick sucked, that’s on you.”
“I’m stretching my jaw muscles now…I’m sure he’s…” I hung up. Jerry’s fucking nuts. Axel Maxwell is too, from what I hear. But his madness is born of genius and any artist he signs goes platinum and then some. The band’s contract with our indie label is coming to an end soon. I just assumed that we would sign with them again. I haven’t been disappointed with what they’ve done for us. I mean, we’ll never get to be The Rolling Stones by going with an Indie label…but so far, I haven’t had many complaints. Stone Mother is a household name...but maybe I should want more. I’m not sure when I started being complacent. When I first started out in this business I was willing to do anything and everything it took to get more famous and make more money. Suddenly it seems like a lot of fucking work. Maybe it was because I was high for the first few years.
Axel Maxwell is the Executive Producer of the biggest label in the U.S. and the U.K. He could take us International. We could be The Stones under his direction. I listened to the message again and then resigned to the fact that I had to at least call this guy back, I dialed the number that he left. He picked it up on the first ring.
“Kyle Case!”
“Axel Maxwell!”
He laughed like me saying his name was the funniest thing he’d heard all day. “How the hell are you?”
“I’m doing alright Mr. Maxwell. How are you?”
He laughed again. “No Mr. here, I don’t deserve it. But to answer your question, I am fucking fantastic. I hav
e a twenty-five-year-old beauty in my bed, naked. I have a few billion dollars in the bank, all I need is you.”
It was my turn to laugh. “Forgive me for saying so but if I had both of those things you just mentioned, I think a rock-star on the fringes would be the last thing on my mind.”
“Taking rock stars from the fringes to the big time is how I accomplished all that my boy! So, when can we talk?”
I thought we were talking. “We’re on tour right now. I’ll be in Jersey tomorrow and Rhode Island two days after that…”
“When can you be back in New York?”
“We have a few days off between Rhode Island and Connecticut next week. I could probably do next Monday…”
“Okay. You know where to find me, right?” Hell no, but I’m sure Jerry does.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Be at the studio at nine a.m. next Monday morning. Just you. Don’t bring the band or that nutcase of a manager.”
Shit! What the fuck is this? “I won’t be able to make any final decisions on anything without Jerry and the band.”
“Your first decision has to be to lose the band and Jerry. I’ll see you next Monday.” He didn’t wait for my response. He just hung up. Fuck! What the hell was I supposed to tell Jerry?
I decided to do what I do best and procrastinate about calling him back. Right now, I had a hot Italian girl to see about an obsession. I had a car service take me to the hospital. It dawned on me as I was walking in the lobby that I had no idea where to begin looking for them…but as it turned out, that wasn’t going to be a problem. When I walked up to the visitor desk, I took off my hat and sunglasses and I was welcomed with,
“Kyle Case…I’ll be damned,” the lady was old enough to be my mother, but the look she was giving me was anything but motherly.
“Hey there…Darlene,” I love name tags. “How are you doing today?”
She almost had to wipe the drool from her lips as she said, “My day suddenly went from good to phenomenal. What can I do for you? I’m at your beck and call.” She ran her eyes over me, slowly and her tongue ran along her bottom lip. I’m not even sure she was aware of it. I’m pretty sure she would have done anything I asked. It was flattering and disturbing at the same time.