Squeezing her tight, I rocked her from side to side just as my Mama had done me hours earlier. "You're welcome, sweet girl." Burying my face in her dirty blonde hair, I breathed her in, memorizing her scent while praying that I'd seen her again one day. "I just want you to do one more thing for me."
She didn't move, nor did she speak. Instead, she just continued to lean on me, hugging me with every bit of strength she had.
"In the future, when you get the chance, I want you to tell someone who's struggling that it will all get better. All we have to do is hold on and keep fighting until it does."
She nodded against me. "I promise I'll tell someone else what you told me. That life can be ugly, but that one day it'll get a whole lot more beautiful."
It was a promise that warmed my heart.
And one that Mackenzie kept.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chase
Ashley was sitting on the edge of my bed.
On my bed.
It was a first.
She'd been in my apartment before plenty of times, but I'd always made sure to steer clear of my room when we hung out because I didn't want her to feel pressured into doing something she wasn't ready to.
But now, she was here.
In my room.
Wearing my t-shirt.
Fuck. Me.
"Are you sure you don't mind if I stay in here with you tonight?" she asked, biting into her bottom lip. "Because I don't mind camping out on the sofa—"
"You are not sleeping on the goddamn couch," I snapped, interrupting her. "I'll sleep on the floor first."
She dropped her gaze to her lap and picked at a piece of lint on my shirt. "I don't want you to sleep on the floor," she whispered before looking up again. "I want you to sleep with me"—she paused—"in your bed."
I couldn't stop the wonky smile that tipped one corner of my mouth. "Yeah?"
She nodded, her pretty brown eyes void of any hesitation. "Yeah."
Unsure of what to do, I crossed my arms and looked around, searching for divine intervention. As much as I'd fantasized about falling asleep with Ashley tucked safely in my arms, I was a helluva lot unprepared.
Did I strip down first?
Did I just jump in?
"Chase." My girl's voice held a hint of humor. "What are you doing?"
Realizing it was better just to tell her the truth, I held my hands up and chuckled. "Sweetness, I have no idea what I'm doing here. This extends beyond my areas of expertise."
Smiling, she stood from the bed and crossed the room, coming to a stop in front of me. "Before we do anything else, we need to talk."
I did not like the way that sounded.
Not a damn bit.
Sliding my hand into her hair, I pushed the silky strands free of her face. "What do you want to talk about, beautiful girl?"
She fidgeted, her anxiety stirring. "You and me."
I'm not even going to lie. At that point, I was close to freaking out. "What about you and me?"
I don't know what I was expecting her to say exactly, but it sure as hell wasn't the words that came out of her mouth next.
Those words? I want this to be real.
My brows furrowed. "What do you mean? This is real. Me and you—"
She silenced me by pressing a single finger to my lips. "What I mean," she started, "is that I want to us to be official."
Her words hit me straight in the chest, and for a brief moment, I just stared at her, hoping like hell that I'd hadn't become so desperate that I was hearing shit now. "You want to be my girlfriend?"
The damn lip biting was back. "Yes. That's why I made that joke about the t-shirt back at the shelter."
"Are you sure about this?" I asked, sliding my hands down to cradle the sides of her neck. "Because if you aren't ready, then I'll wait."
Lower lip trembling, she looked toward the window, her gaze locked on the star-filled sky. "Do you want me, Chase?" She turned her head back my way; our eyes met. "Like, truly want me?"
"More than my next goddamn breath."
Hands on my stomach, she caressed my skin, along with the muscles that laid beneath. "Then I'm yours."
Two years.
That's how long I'd waited.
And now it had paid off...
Because Ashley Moretti was finally mine.
Pulling herself out of my hold, my girl took a step back. Eyes on my face, she slowly raised my shirt up before pulling it over her head and dropping it to the ground by her feet, leaving her in a small pair of panties.
Baby pink.
Sheer.
"If we're going to do this," she said. "Then, I need your help."
Determined to keep my eyes on her face, I clenched my hands, blinking repeatedly. "What do you need me to do?"
Lifting her hand, she ran a fingertip down my chest, then my stomach. Reaching the top of my pants, she hooked her finger in the waistband and pulled me forward.
"What I need," she whispered, her voice throaty sounding, "is for you to conquer a few of my demons." Conquer her demons? I'd spent the last few years fighting to do just that. "And to do that, I need you to make love to me."
My mind blanked.
My heart dropped.
And my cock? That fucker grew.
Exponentially.
"But I need you to go slow," she continued. "And you can't—"
"I won't look away," I interrupted, already knowing what she was going to say. "Swear to God, I won't look away."
Satisfied with my answer, my girl turned and moved back to the bed. Climbing atop it, she laid back and bent her knees at the waist.
Fists clenched, her face was pulled tight, her breathing labored, making it evident that she was scared.
No, more like terrified.
"Nah," I said, shaking my head. "We're not doing this. Not like this."
Her brows furrowed as confusion set in. But I gave her no time to ask questions before moving forward and scooping her up into my arms.
Holding her slight weight tight, I turned and deposited her on top of my dresser, bringing us almost face-to-face.
Wedging my hips between her spread thighs, I circled her wrist with my fingers and placed her shaking hands on my chest, directly above my heart. "Feel that?"
Uncertainty filled her eyes as she nodded.
"That beats for you, Sweetness. It has since the moment we met, and it will—"
"—until you take your final breath," she finished for me.
"Good girl," I replied, my lips tipping. "At least you listen to me sometimes."
That got a smile out of her. "Well, I can't listen all the time. What would be the fun in doing that?"
I chuckled. "Sounds like something your Mama would say."
Knowing I was right, she shrugged.
"But I need you to listen to me now. Every single word." With her eyes holding mine steady, I continued. "I know you're scared, and I get why, but I need you to understand that I will not do anything that you don't want me to. It doesn't matter how heated shit gets. If you get uncomfortable, scared, or want it to end, you tell me, and I will stop. Immediately."
"Why?" Gaze dipping to the ground, she shook her head. "I don't understand why you're so good to me."
Hearing her say those words...
They broke my heart.
"The reason is simple," I replied, trailing my fingertips up the outside of her bare thighs. "Because I love you, Sweetness."
Her head jerked up.
It wasn't the first time I'd said those words to her, but there was something about this time that was different. It was almost like she was finally hearing them instead of just letting them go in one ear and out the other.
"I've loved you since I was eighteen-years-old, and I will love you until the very end. Bottom line."
Resting her hands atop my moving ones, she pulled in a breath and met my eyes once more. "Want to know a secret?"
I smiled. "Always."
"I love you too."
>
Four words.
That was all it took for my heart to stop.
"And I have for a long time. I just..."
Cupping her face, I took her mouth with mine, silencing the words she was about to speak. Words that I knew would tear her up to say.
When our lips finally parted, and she exhaled, I kissed away each tear that rolled down her cheeks.
A reminder of how hurt she still was, I hated to see her cry.
Damn well hated it.
"Say it again, Ashley." I'm not the least bit ashamed to admit that I wanted to hear those words—the ones I'd waited so long to hear—fall from her lips once more.
I needed them.
Just like I needed her.
"I love you, Chase Jacobs," she whispered, her shoulders shaking. "Now, make love to me."
Heart in my throat, I nodded. "Wrap your arms around me, baby." When she did as I asked, I lifted her from the dresser and moved her to the bed, where I laid her flat on her back. On my knees, I leaned back, fisted my shirt behind my neck, and ripped it over my head. "We're going to take this slow."
"Promise?" She needed me to reassure her.
I gladly did. "I fucking swear it."
Grasping her hips, I dropped my mouth to hers, nipping her bottom lip between my teeth. Her hands flew to my shoulders, her fingers digging into my flesh in return.
Breaking our connection, I jumped off the bed long enough to push my sweats and briefs down in one jerky—not to mention uncoordinated—move. Swear to Christ, I almost toppled over and face-planted on the floor as every ounce of swagger I possessed went flying right out the damn window.
My antics made Ashley laugh.
Wasn't really the vibe I was going for, but I'd take it.
At least until her gaze dropped to my cock.
Eyes bulging, she shook her head. "I think I changed my mind," she said, pinching her lips together. "I know I've seen it before, but now it just seems bigger." She paused and pointed at it. "I don't know how that... thing will fit.
If the situation hadn't been what it was, I would've laughed.
But my girl looked genuinely scared.
Shit was not funny right now.
I looked down, my gaze landing on my angry-looking dick. "We'll make it work."
Climbing back on the bed, I kneeled between her sexy-as-hell legs and hooked my fingers in the sides of her panties. "Ready?"
She nodded. "Ready."
In one quick pull, I yanked them off and tossed them behind me. Then, feeling as though I. was about to come out of my damn skin, I slid my hands up the insides of her thighs and slowly spread her legs, revealing her slick flesh to me.
My mouth began to water.
"Every time I think you can't get any more beautiful, you do." Trailing my fingers over her pelvic bone and up her belly, I traced invisible lines on her creamy skin, drawing patterns that only my eyes could see.
Hands stopping beneath her breasts, I met her stare. "Can I touch you?"
Lips parted, she nodded as her chest rose and then fell, her pants for air coming quicker each second.
Never taking my eyes from hers, I leaned over her and pulled one nipple into my mouth. Back arching, her head dropped to the pillow as her hands found my hair.
Tugging on the locks, she pulled me closer, refusing to let me come up for air.
Not that I was complaining.
Releasing her flesh with a pop, I trailed my lips down her belly, stopping only to nuzzle her lone stretchmark with my face.
Ashley's breath hitched at the move, and I knew—I damn well knew—that if she lifted her head again, I'd see tears in her pretty brown eyes.
"Sweetness, look at me."
She pulled in a breath and pushed to her elbows, surprising me.
And yeah, there were tears.
"Watch me, beautiful girl," I whispered as I crawled down her body and positioned my broad shoulders between her legs. "Watch what I do to you." Trepidation danced over her features, and I did my best to alleviate the anxiety I knew was thrumming through her system. "I have you, Ashley. Always, baby."
"I know you do," she replied. "Because you promised."
That I did.
More than ready to wash away every ounce of fear and pain she'd felt at the hands of another, I licked her sweet pussy from bottom to top in one swipe.
Her entire body tightened as she cried out, her hands finding my short blond locks a second time. "Chase," she whimpered, her hips searching for the pleasure I'd only given her a hint of. "Please..."
"You keep saying my name," I replied as I hooked her legs over my shoulders. "Remember who it is that's touching you."
Another scream came as I dove back in, licking, sucking, and nipping her tender flesh, memorizing her reaction to every move as I learned every little thing that drove her wild.
Eating her pussy with everything I had, I slipped one finger inside of her and groaned when her wet heat clamped down, pulling me deep.
Fuck. Me.
"Goddamn, Ashley," I mumbled against her. "Just. Goddamn."
Slipping a second finger deep inside her tightness, I sat up and leaned over her, blanketing her body with mine. Attacking her lips with mine, I delved my tongue deep, fucking her mouth the same way I was about to fuck her pussy.
Feeling her insides clench and quiver against my fingers, I pulled them free, stopping the orgasm that was about to wash over her.
Panting and on the edge of looking a tad bit homicidal, my girl glared at me, her eyes narrowed into tiny slits. "Why in the name of sweet baby Jesus did you stop?"
Remaining silent, I leaned to the side and pulled a condom out of my nightstand drawer. After tearing the foil open with my teeth, I sheathed my throbbing length. "When you come for the first time in my bed, it'll be with me deep inside of you."
Her eyes flared.
Cock in hand, I sat back on my calves and pulled her toward me, positioning her ass on the top of my thighs. "You ready for this?" I asked as my thumb found her clit. She jerked as I rubbed the nub, once again priming her for the explosion I was about to give her. "Cause if not, we can stop."
"Chase," she said, moaning. "Don't stop."
"I won't."
Dropping her bottom back to the mattress, I hovered over her once more and hooked her legs around my hips. Positioning the head of my dick against her entrance, I lowered myself to my elbows, bringing us chest to chest.
Our eyes locked.
"You ready?"
Her bottom lip trembled, and I could see the panic beginning to brew. Flat out refusing to let it steal her away from me, I slid my hands into her hair, twining the strands around my fingers. "It's me, Sweetness," I said, feeling my heart twist. "And from this moment on, it'll only be me."
Giving me a shaky nod, she blew out a breath. "Don't look away."
I swallowed, a myriad of emotion swelling in the base of my throat. "Never."
Winding her arms around my back, she dug her nails into my shoulder blades, clutching me tight. "I'm ready. Take me."
With one slow thrust of my hips, that's precisely what I did.
Sinking into her and hearing her cry out and I finally claimed her as my own...
It was Heaven.
Nothing less.
"Chase!" she screamed, arching into me.
Resting my forehead against hers, I inhaled as she exhaled and pulled her essence deep inside me. "I finally found it," I whispered, my eyes glazing over with tears. "After all this time, I finally found it."
Ashley's tears started to fall as I began to slowly move. "What," she started. "What did you f-find?" She stuttered and then moaned as I twisted my hips, dragging the head of my cock along her G-spot.
Chest so tight I felt like I would burst, I pressed my forehead to hers. "My home, Ashley Jo." Another thrust; a second twist. "In you, I found my home."
Each word was the truth.
Before Ashley, I'd been lost.
And now, with her heart bel
onging to mine, I was found.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ashley
Morning came far too soon.
Seated at the small kitchen table in Chase's apartment, I watched as he dug through the pantry for something to eat while my oatmeal—which Ty had cooked me—cooled.
Blinking to clear the sleep-induced fog blurring my eyes, I lifted my arms in the air and stretched. "Where's Heidi Bug at? She's usually up before everyone."
After leaving the shelter the evening before, Heidi had spent the night with Ty—a first for her—while I stayed with Chase. Because she was staying at the apartment as well, my Mama hadn't thrown a full-fledged hissy fit when informed that I wouldn't be coming home at midnight like I originally planned.
Well, she'd thrown a fit.
But thanks to Heidi's smoothing-over skills, she hadn't shown up at the apartment door, gun in hand, ready to drag me back home.
My dad either.
Then again, he probably didn't even know I'd stayed with Chase yet. Thanks to being stuck on overnight shifts for the past few weeks, he didn't make it home until the mid-morning most days, which meant I had a bit of time before he quite possibly showed up, pissed off as all get out.
"She's in the shower," Ty answered from the stove where he was plating scrambled eggs. "Should be out any minute."
Stirring my oatmeal, I silently nodded.
"This is complete horseshit." I snapped my head up, my eyes finding Chase at the sound of his voice.
Wearing a pair of black sweats, no shirt, and sporting a headful of mussed hair, he looked more gorgeous than normal.
And that was saying something.
Chase was easily the hottest man I'd ever laid eyes on, but he wore the whole fresh-out-of-bed look like no other.
It was yet another thing I loved about him.
Love...
Never in my life did I think I'd be in a position where I loved a man, especially after everything I'd been through, but I can honestly say that at that point, I was head over heels in love with Chase Jacobs.
And I'd had sex with him.
More than once.
Though I'd experienced it, part of me still couldn't believe it was a reality. After the hell I'd been through, I'd spent the last two years convinced that being intimate with him was a feat I wouldn't be able to achieve.
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