by B J Wane
She would have gone to him and wrapped her arms around him if it wasn’t for the aggression with which he was beating that bag. Something had him riled, and while she didn’t fear him or his anger, she did fear losing the tenuous hold she had on this complicated man. Watching him silently, she was taken off guard when he stopped suddenly, whirled to face her and glared angrily at her.
“What are you doing here, Anna?” Donovan had been so immersed in releasing his anger, the physical workout helping to calm his turmoil that he hadn’t sensed anyone was here until just a moment ago. The tears threatening to fall from her eyes told him she hadn’t known about his own abusive past, and it didn’t sit well with him that she saw the proof of it now. There were reasons he kept his shirt on when he was with a woman, not the least of which was he didn’t want to be pitied.
Ignoring his question, she stated, “I’m not the only one who’s been reticent about my past.”
There was no pity on her face, just empathy and curiosity, a curiosity he suspected was more for why he hadn’t told her than for the gory details. He felt his cock harden at her calm acceptance, the sudden need to claim and possess her shocking with its intensity. With rage still simmering through him, however, he didn’t feel like making explanations or small talk. He needed her gone, and he needed her gone now.
“You need to leave, Anna. I’ll talk to you later.”
Anna didn’t want to leave, she wanted him, wanted to feel those huge arms holding her as he fucked her again, fucked her with all the pent up frustration and need she saw simmering in his eyes. For the first time since meeting him, she felt he needed her instead of the other way around, and she wasn’t about to turn her back on him. His body was covered in a sheen of perspiration, his chest was thickly muscled, the light sprinkling of brown hair glistening damply and she suddenly wanted to feel all that damp, hard male flesh against her, feel his cock invading her pussy with deep, hard strokes that promised to take her to a place where she could forget about the man lying comatose waiting for her and give pleasure to the man in front of her who needed her as much as she needed him at this moment.
“I don’t want to leave,” she answered him, her voice breathless as she felt her nipples pucker and her pussy flood with liquid heat in preparation for him. Looking him square in the eye, she started to unbutton her shirt as she continued boldly, “I want you.”
Cursing, Donovan had to force himself to remain rooted three feet from her and what she thought she wanted. With his anger still too close to the surface, his lust riding high and his emotions completely out of whack over Ethan’s disclosures and now Anna’s knowledge of his torture, there was no way he could risk giving her what she wanted, what her body was obviously craving as much as his was. The need to fuck always rode him hard when his temper was so volatile, but he had never acted on that need, and sure as hell wasn’t going to risk a relationship he was just now admitting he wanted.
“No.” He knew he should elaborate, should give her a reason he was turning her down, but that one word seemed to be all he was capable of right now, especially as the sight of her bare breasts spilling free as she unclasped the front of her bra had his cock hardening to full erection.
“Why? You want me, and you need me. Why not take what I’m offering?” Anna didn’t know what was driving her more, the sixth sense that was telling her she shouldn’t be here, that she should be with her husband, not anticipating being fucked in a barn by a man who wasn’t keen on the idea, or the feeling she got that Donovan needed her more right now than Todd ever would. Desperation made her add softly, “Please, Donovan, don’t shut me out.” She didn’t think she could take it if he shut her out right now. Running one finger over her right nipple in a light, tantalizing caress, she prayed she was doing the right thing.
Swearing, Donovan strode to her, backing her until her breasts bounced with the jarring impact of coming up against the unyielding wall, caging her between his arms braced on either side of her. “Damn you,” he grated harshly as he felt himself giving in, felt himself succumbing to the urge to take her just like she was asking for, God help them both. Swooping down, he kissed her ruthlessly, grinding his mouth on hers, invading her mouth with ruthless intent, giving her an idea of what it would be like if he took her now.
Anna vaguely heard a ringing in her ears as she kissed him back, recognized the sound as her phone, then simply ignored it as she moaned into his mouth and her hands came up to clutch at his shoulders.
Releasing her mouth, Donovan tried to ignore the pleasure just feeling her knead his shoulders gave him and instead tried again to dissuade her. “Is this what you want? Be damn sure, Anna, because once I’m inside you I’m not going to stop.”
“Yes, damn you, this is what I want,” Anna admitted as she struggled with the vulnerability that admission made her feel. There was an uncomfortable struggle going on inside her, a fight between what her guilty conscience told her was right and what her traitorous body told her she needed. Just looking at Donovan’s hard face, his eyes boring into hers with barely suppressed rage and an intensity that bordered on pain, his body as unyielding as his look, and she knew her body was going to win out over her mind. She knew she was past the point of no return when she found the sight of his damp armpit hair sexy.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he rasped as need and lust overrode common sense and he gave in to the inevitable. He couldn’t fight himself and her both and right now he didn’t even want to as he grabbed the zipper on her jeans and jerked it down.
Anna quickly toed off her right shoe and wiggled her leg out of her jeans as he released his engorged cock, the plum shaped head looking as red and angry as Donovan. Not giving her time to undress any further, he simply grabbed her buttocks, lifted her and impaled himself on her, driving into her slick sheath in one hard thrust that had her gasping at the shear rightness of being fucked by him.
Donovan heard her gasp, refused to look at her and see the shock that might be on her face as he thrust up into her, burying himself balls deep. His lust for her was a greedy thing, clawing at his balls with a voracious need, hardening his cock into aching demand, a demand fueled by his lingering anger. The feel of her warm wet walls folding around him was a welcome relief, her mewling cries as he rammed into her over and over did nothing to quell the force driving him. He felt her legs go around him, felt her hands clutching his shoulders as she held on for the rough ride, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about tempering his driving thrusts, the view of her awesome breasts bouncing with each jarring plunge, her nipples beaded tightly only adding to his out of control arousal.
Anna embraced every deep thrust, savored each body pounding plunge of his cock. He brought out a need in her so raw, so primitive, she didn’t recognize herself. Her breasts ached and she wanted his mouth on them in the worst way but she didn’t dare beg him for that pleasure as she tightened her hold on him, sensing there was more driving him than simple lust and the anger he felt at her discovering his scars. Whatever it was, she wanted him to know she could handle it, and him.
Just as her climax started to ripple through her, she vaguely heard the peal of her phone again. But nothing was as important as the pleasure he was giving her, of the dizzying, glorious climax that erupted without further coaxing, leaving her to revel in the pleasure of mindless fucking. She was grateful for his hard hands clutching her ass, holding her up for his use, because she didn’t think she’d be able to ride him on her own the way they both needed her to through the ecstasy sweeping through her.
Donovan felt her convulse around him and followed her swiftly into that sweet oblivion, his orgasm erupting out of his cock in a fierce torrent of heat, flames of pleasure tearing through him as he continued to pump into her.
Anna’s legs almost gave out on her when Donovan released her and took a step back. Needing a moment to gather her thoughts and right her clothes, she turned her back to him and bent to struggle into her jeans.
Remorse repl
aced anger as he saw the marks on her white buttocks from where he had dug his fingers into her soft flesh, marks that looked like they were going to bruise. But he didn’t need those telltale signs to tell him he had screwed up royally, that he had done what he had always feared he would do and lost control again. Her turned back told him that. At least no one died this time, he thought on a sour note as self-disgust filled him.
Feeling Donovan’s eyes on her, Anna quickly grabbed her purse, noticed the blinking light on her phone and decided to check the message before facing him. But as she read the short note from Shady Oaks, she suddenly felt her world rock around her, felt herself drowning in a mire of guilt and self-recriminations and grabbed for the only lifeline she could think of.
“Donovan.”
Her broken plea felt like a knife digging into his flesh and all he needed to hear to know he had gone too far. “I told you to leave. You should’ve listened to me,” he said harshly as it took every bit of his control not to reach for her.
Anna didn’t hear the pain behind his words or the remorse, she just heard rejection, something she should be used to by now. Bracing herself to face him, she schooled her look not to show the utter despair filling her, something she had a lot of practice doing. She didn’t have it in her right now to soothe his ego or try to figure out what had been driving him when she arrived.
She faced him with the same blank, calm look of indifference on her face that she wore when he first met her, a protective shield against showing her emotions he had come to realize. Guilt made him feel nauseous but he couldn’t let her leave without trying to salvage this. “Anna, I’m sorry…”
“I need to go,” she broke in, not wanting to hear anything else. She turned and fled down the stables, barely acknowledging Colin and Brett as she passed them coming in on her way out. Jumping into her truck, she drove away without looking back. There was no time for her to think about Donovan and how she might’ve just screwed up their relationship for good. She had a funeral to plan.
“What was that all about?” Brett asked when they found Donovan staring out his office window, watching Anna’s truck as it drove back down the drive to the highway.
Donovan turned from watching the woman he just realized meant more to him than he had imagined drive out of his life and felt recriminations beating at him from all sides. Her last look had held a hint of despair that she couldn’t hide, the same hint of despair he had seen on Ethan’s face before he walked away also.
“It’s my day for driving people away instead of listening to them.”
Colin and Brett rarely saw Donovan shirtless and that he remained so now without trying to cover up his scars told them a lot. “Is one of those persons Ethan?” Colin asked. When Donovan simply raised a brow, he added, “Keith called me. Said Ethan and you got into an argument and he got canned.”
Donovan picked up his shirt from where he had left it draped over his chair and slowly slipped it back on as he said with a calmness he was far from feeling, “We need to talk. Sit down.”
As he told them about Ethan, relayed the news they probably had another brother, Donovan slowly realized how he had wronged his brothers these past years by shutting them out. He had berated Ethan for not coming to them right away with his claim, for keeping silent even though the kid didn’t know them or anything about them. Yet hadn’t he done the same with the brothers who knew him better than anyone else? Despite his silence and his determination to deal with his PTSD on his own, Brett and Colin hadn’t given up on him, had supported him and stood by him no matter how surly he got with them. Ethan had had the guts to come clean with him despite the fact he had to know what it could cost him, yet he had taken the coward’s way out by keeping silent all these years about the man who had delighted in torturing Nathan and then him, the man he still didn’t remember beating to death but would never forget what he looked like before and after Donovan had let loose with the rage that guard had been responsible for.
“What proof did he offer for his claim?” Brett wanted to know, the lawyer in him already trying to figure out the legal ramifications of people coming out of the woodwork claiming to be Casey McGilley’s offspring.
“I asked but he simply walked away saying he would leave immediately. Thing is, I believe him. Hell, now that my eyes have been opened, the family resemblance is uncanny.”
Rising, Colin stated, “Then let’s go stop the little weasel from leaving and get to the bottom of this.”
Anxious now to right at least one wrong he was responsible for today, Donovan rose but stopped his brothers by saying, “After we’re done dealing with this, we need to talk about something else.”
“About what?” Brett asked,
“Iraq.”
Chapter Twenty Seven
Donovan stood out of sight of the small group of mourners as they said their last farewell to Todd Kingston, his own grief solely for the woman who stood so stoically alone, definitely not for the bastard who was being laid to rest. After spending two hours with Ethan, looking over the DNA test his mother had done when he was born and listening to his explanations and remorse about the vandalism he had perpetrated, the three of them had taken perverse pleasure in lecturing the kid on his mistakes then drilling into him what it meant to be a McGilley before instructing him to unpack his bags and start working off the damages he was responsible for. Just because he was a McGilley, they emphasized, didn’t mean he could shirk his duty or the consequences of his actions. Brett, Colin and Donovan didn’t think they were being unfair by insisting their younger brother stay in school as well as work overtime to make amends for his destructive temper tantrums. Donovan offered to show him a better way to release his pent up anger. The surprise, relief and gratitude on the kid’s face had his three older brothers choked up by the time they were done lecturing.
Donovan had left the bunkhouse in anticipation of righting his next wrong, but Anna wasn’t answering her phone no matter how many times he called and left messages over the next twenty four hours. The relief he felt after coming clean with Brett and Colin about what happened when rescue came from his Iraqi captors was short lived when he couldn’t get Anna to talk to him, making him worry even more that he had been too rough with her. Saying she liked sex hard and fast was different from being shoved up against the wall and taken without any foreplay, with being fucked with mindless intensity and no thought for anything except attaining release. He knew she came, remembered the feel of her pussy milking the come from his dick, but that didn’t mean she enjoyed how she got to that point. He even told his brothers what had gone down in the tack room right before they arrived and got their advice, something that he knew he wasn’t going to hear the end of for a long time.
It was Brett who came to the stables the next day and showed him the obituary of Anna’s husband in the paper and Colin who had followed up with the research he had done on Anna’s case against the bastard who had abused her. Between the two of them, he had a clear picture of what she had suffered and what she had been forced to do to survive. Looking at her now, standing so alone and isolated from the other mourners, he realized he wasn’t the only one who had let her down. Putting two and two together, he had come to the conclusion she had probably gotten the message about her husband’s death right after he had fucked her so hard against the wall, and it was that news that had her upset and not his actions, at least, that was what he was banking on.
Almost from the get-go, Anna had seen beyond the physical and saw the man he used to be and trusted the man he had become. For that alone he could have fallen in love with her, but there was so much more to his woman, and more he was eager to learn and explore. Smiling, he thought of the Christmas gifts he had picked up for her yesterday and how much fun he was going to have when she opened them tonight and they spent Christmas Eve playing with her new toys.
Anna watched her mother and mother-in-law walk away without ever acknowledging her, surprised how much their deflection still hurt. From the
tirade her parents had subjected her to when they showed up at the hospital after she had finally escaped Todd, she knew Todd had told them about the websites she surfed as well as the stash of her objectionable reading material. Yet, she still couldn’t get over their lack of support, their lack of outrage and empathy for their daughter and the pain and the abuse she had suffered. Taking a deep breath, she said a silent farewell to the dead as well as the living and turned to find herself face to face with Donovan, the caring and concern etched on his face almost her undoing.
Calling on her experience of putting on a protective façade that hid her conflicting emotions, Anna managed to greet him with some semblance of calmness despite the urge to fight off the chill of the winter day by burrowing against that body that she never seemed to get enough of. “Donovan, what are you doing here?”
Donovan closed the small physical distance between them with one step and the emotional one by ignoring the closed look on her face and unreadable look in her eyes and simply pulled her to him. “Now, where else would I be when you needed me?”
“I needed you the other day and you sent me away,” she answered stiffly, her voice muffled in his throat as her body yielded against his of its own accord.
“Did I now, or did we both misread the situation and rather than face it, we both ran, something I think the two of us need to quit doing.”