by Jeannie Watt
“It’d make me feel a hell of a lot better.”
“I’m not your concern, Jason.”
His lips curved into a smile that made her breath catch. “Then maybe you can explain to me why it feels as if you are?”
Allie shook her head and made to move past him, but he reached out to take her arm. Allie looked down at his fingers, then her eyes flashed up to his face.
“I think about you, Allie.”
“Jason...”
“Can’t help myself.”
The same thing he’d said when he’d slipped his arms around her when they’d made dinner. Allie swallowed against the sudden dryness in her throat and did her best to ignore the heat building down below.
“I appreciate your concern, Jason.”
“You said you needed a friend and not a lover.”
“Yes.” Allie wasn’t foolish enough to try to add anything to the single-word reply. She probably wouldn’t have gotten any more words out.
Jason released his grip, letting his hand fall back to his side. “You have no idea how much it’s killing me to abide by that.”
* * *
WHEN JASON DROVE out of the driveway a few minutes later, Allie was still standing on her porch, replaying his words in her head. He thought about her. It was killing him not to get physical.
She hadn’t dared say that she felt the same, even though she did. Her body kept trying to convince her brain that getting close to Jason was a good thing. A very good thing.
Her brain, however, had been hardened by adversity. No more mistakes for her. She was going to know exactly what she was getting into before she dove in. Caution was her friend.
After dinner that evening, instead of starting her painting, Allie called her sisters, one after the other, caught up on their news, then told them the Zach plan. All three had been fully in favor, and Jolie had even mentioned the possibility of buying the trailer and using it as a guesthouse. “No hurry there,” Allie told her. “Jason will let us keep it as long as we want. We have time to make a decision.”
And the decision would then be Jolie’s, because she and Dylan would be the people living on the ranch proper. After receiving her sisters’ approval, Allie called Liz and asked to speak to Zach.
“All right,” Liz said warily, obviously wanting to know why her friend wanted to talk to her son.
When Zach came to the phone, Allie asked him if she could hire him full-time—at least until her sister came home, unless of course he’d changed his mind about college.
There was a long silence, which wasn’t the response that Allie had thought she’d get. Finally Zach said, “Is this my mom’s idea?”
“She doesn’t even know.” Allie let out a breath. “If you don’t want to do this, just say so. I can hire someone else.”
“No. I’ll do it.”
“Would you consider living here on the property? In a trailer? So that you can handle the calving and stuff?”
“Uh...yeah. Sure.”
“Great,” Allie said. “Why don’t you talk to your mom and we can iron out details tomorrow.”
“Sure.”
Twenty minutes later, Liz called, just as Allie had expected.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“I felt a little blindsided,” Liz confessed.
“Jason thought it was important to call Zach.”
Liz gave a small sigh. “He’s right. I think this will be great—as long as Zach isn’t sneaking off the place and drinking.”
“He can stay at your place at night, if you want.”
“No.” Liz let out a sigh. “I still hope he might decide to go to college this fall. This’ll be good practice. For me, I mean.”
* * *
ZACH WASN’T AS thrilled with a full-time job as Jason had expected him to be, but it soon came out that it wasn’t the job that he had a problem with, but rather the fact that people were getting together behind his back and planning his future. Even though Allie had technically called him, Zach had figured from the get-go that he wouldn’t have much say in the matter. It wasn’t like he could afford to turn down the job, but he hadn’t found it himself. It had been, in essence, thrust upon him.
“Did it ever occur to you that I don’t want to do this?”
“Did it ever occur to you to give your mom a break?” Or that once you broke trust you might not get as much say as if you hadn’t? “You’re mad at your dad and you take the shit out on your mom.”
“I thought we were watching our language.”
“We’re friends now,” Jason growled. “If you don’t want to do this, then what do you want to do? Sneak out of the house and drink while your mom is asleep?”
A flush worked its way up Zach’s neck.
“I’m not trying to hurt her.”
“It doesn’t matter what your intentions are. It’s the result that matters. If intentions counted, I would have been on a championship winning team every year.” Jason pushed back his hat. “Look. Here’s the deal. Allie needs someone to take up the slack and I don’t know what I’m doing. I thought maybe you could teach me some stuff.”
“Teach you.”
“That’s what I said.”
Zach frowned down at the ground as if trying to figure the catch. Jason knew that at his age, he might have done the same thing, although Jason hadn’t partied at Zach’s age because he’d been serious about his athletics.
“I want to help Allie and I want to know enough to not be clueless about my own place, when I find one to buy,” he added when Zach’s gaze came up. “I nixed the deal on the Bella Ridge.”
Zach dug the toe of his boot into the dirt as his features twisted into a scowl. Finally he looked up at Jason. “All right.”
“Allie will meet with you every morning so that she can line you out and then—”
“I line you out?”
“Pretty much.”
Zach gave a slow, considering nod. “Fine. I guess that’ll work.”
“People are bending over backward for you, so it’d better work.”
* * *
TRUE TO HIS WORD, Jason had a construction trailer at the ranch within a day of Zach agreeing to live and work on the Lightning Creek. When Allie had left in the morning, the area next to the bunkhouse had been an equipment parking area. When she returned, the equipment had been moved to a different locale and there was a boxy trailer in place.
“That was fast,” she said to Jason, who came to meet her at her car.
“Dad’s crew set these up all the time. They tapped into the power at the bunkhouse. Joe’s coming back tomorrow to plumb it into the bunkhouse water and septic lines.”
“Wow. A bathroom and everything.”
“Do you want to be the one to tell a teenage boy that he doesn’t have ready access to a shower?”
“I would not.”
Jason climbed the steps and opened the door, motioning with his head for Allie to follow him inside. The interior was an empty box. There was a row of cabinets with a small sink at one end, a door at the other and nothing in between.
“Zach wanted to move in tonight, but I told him to wait for water.”
“Good plan.”
Allie crossed the trailer, her steps echoing in the emptiness, and then she opened the door to find a small bathroom with a toilet, sink and shower stall. “Adequate,” she said.
“I had to do some fast talking to get a trailer with a bathroom, but I didn’t think you’d want a Port-a-John in sight of your house.”
“Zach and I both thank you.”
Jason smiled down at her, their gazes connecting in a way that felt more intimate than the casual level of conversation called for. Allie tore her gaze away and set her hands on her hips, giving on
e last look around. “Thanks for doing this.”
“Glad to be able to help—you and Zach.” His voice was low, sincere and somehow deeply sensual. Allie felt her skin start to prickle.
They left the trailer and then Jason walked with Allie as far as his truck, which was parked next to her front walkway. “Garden looks good.”
“What there is, yes.”
“Will there be more?”
“A lot more.”
Jason didn’t move. He studied the garden as if there were an answer to a serious question in the long neat rows of tiny plants. Allie pushed back her hair as she frowned up at him. “I get the feeling that you’re in no hurry to go home.”
He shifted his attention back to her, a small smile playing on his gorgeous mouth. “I’m telegraphing?”
“Totally.”
Jason sighed and leaned back against the front grill of his truck, folding his arms over his chest. “Dad and I have been going the rounds and I’m in no hurry for round, I don’t know, eighteen or nineteen.” He gave her a wry smile. “I’ll probably get kicked out again soon.”
“You can move in with Zach.”
He grimaced as he shot a look at the trailer. “That would be kind of crowded.”
It would be crowded. Jason was a big guy. “Then I guess you could have one of my spare rooms.”
“I like that idea better.”
“I’m sure you do.” Allie sauntered closer, even though she’d felt the need for space in the trailer. Maybe she’d simply needed an avenue of escape. “And next thing you know you’ll be trying to worm your way into my good graces so that you can buy the ranch...things like that.”
He reached out and took hold of her wrist easing her toward him, until their thighs were almost, but not quite, touching. “I’m still looking for property,” he said. “It’ll make it easier when Dad kicks me out.”
“And the job search?”
“Yeah. That.” His lips pressed together. “I’ve put the search on hiatus for a bit.”
Allie’s heart rate shouldn’t have jumped, but it did, and she wondered if Jason had felt the bump in her pulse through her wrist, which he still held in a light grasp.
“For a bit?”
“A season off won’t hurt. It’ll give Dad time to heal fully and me time to decide exactly what I want to do and how I need to train. I talked to the high school coach about running a summer camp for the local players and he was all over that.”
“I imagine he was.”
“I have to accept that things didn’t fall into place—”
“As usual,” Allie added with mock innocence.
He frowned and then let go of her wrist and brought his hands up to span her waist, pulling her another half step closer. And Allie didn’t do a thing to stop him. She didn’t want to stop him. Oh, she would at some point, but right now she felt the need to teeter on the edge for just a bit before stepping back. To the safe. To the mundane.
Besides that, she liked the feel of his very large, very solid hands on her body.
“Yes. Me and my charmed life. Right?” he asked mildly.
Allie went with the truth. “Actually, I’m a little jealous that you know what you want. Even though you haven’t achieved it yet, you have a goal.”
He gave a snort. “Actually, I’m jealous of you.”
Allie stepped back and he dropped his hands from her waist.
“How so?” Because she couldn’t imagine what she had to be jealous of.
He took hold of her hands. “You live here. You belong.”
Allie didn’t answer. There was nothing she could say, other than he was wrong. She didn’t belong.
“I’d better go,” he said in a low voice, raising his hand to gently caress her cheek with a work-roughened palm. Allie allowed herself to lean into his touch before he bent his head and kissed her, a light brush of the lips that left her wanting so much more. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Allie.”
Allie stepped back, resisting the urge to wrap her arms around herself and hold in some of the warmth that was so rapidly fading away now that Jason was no longer touching her.
“See you tomorrow.”
He started the truck as she walked through her front gate and then he was gone, leaving Allie with a whole lot of thinking to do. But instead of thinking, Allie went into the house, changed her clothes, put on her music and started painting.
* * *
JASON WASN’T THERE when Allie got home the next day, but Zach was. He was once again driving the truck his dad had bought him—out of guilt, according to Liz—and he’d moved his belongings into the trailer.
“What are you doing for dinner?” Allie asked.
He grinned widely. “Frozen dinners. Mom hates them. I love them.”
“Good thing you have a microwave.” There were no other cooking implements, but Zach didn’t seem to care.
“Jason’s going to see about getting me hooked into satellite internet.”
“You can hook into mine.” Allie wrote the password on a slip of paper and pushed it toward him.
“‘I heart Gus’?” Zach said, reading the password.
“My sister made the password. Gus is her dog.”
“No one will ever break that code,” he said.
“No one is close enough to try. What’s on your agenda for tomorrow?”
“We’re going to check fences and start spraying.” Zach shook his head. “There’s a lot of spraying that needs doing.”
“I have an account at Culver Ranch and Feed.”
“And you said that Jolie used to divide the pastures?”
“She moved the ladies every few days.”
“I think I’ll call her and see how that worked out.”
Allie pulled the paper back toward her and wrote Jolie’s cell number on it.
“Thanks.” Zach picked up the paper. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Going to go stir-crazy alone?”
He looked surprised. “I have the internet. I’m fine.”
Allie wished it was that easy for her. Her evenings were much better now that she was painting again, indulging in her creativity and regaining her sense of discovery. But even with her artwork to distract her, absorb her, the anxiety was still there, just under the surface. Allie woke up every single morning expecting something to go wrong and went to bed with the same feeling.
And she really, really needed to move past that.
* * *
MAX WAS SITTING at the kitchen table with a remarkably pleasant expression on his face when Jason came in through the back door after a fruitless meeting with Ray Largent.
“Hey, I just talked to Mike Czakawski down at the dealership. You’re coaching football this summer?” Max raised his coffee cup in a salute.
Jason pulled off his ball cap and hung it on the hook by the door. “Nothing carved in stone, but if I’m here, yes.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“I guess because if Jimmy found out, it’d be all over town.”
‘Jimmy found out,” Max said on a note of satisfaction.
“Then I guess it’s a done deal.”
“Guess so. Is it such a bad thing?”
Jason took the chair opposite his father and reached out to pour coffee from the carafe. He didn’t usually drink coffee at five o’clock in the afternoon, but he needed to do something as he attempted to explain himself to his dad.
‘My entire life has centered around football.”
“I know that,” Max sputtered.
“When I was six, I decided I was going to play pro ball. Everything I did, I did with that goal in mind. When I hit college, I decided that after my pro career, I’d coach college ball. I love college ball, Da
d. I don’t want to coach in the pros. I don’t want to be a movie star or a celebrity like Pat did. I want to coach college ball at a high level. And I can’t do that here.”
“Nobody’s knocking down your door, are they?”
“Because I have no track record.” Jason took a sip of lukewarm coffee. His dad needed to get a better carafe. “I can’t do anything this coming season. I want you to be fully on your feet before I leave, and I have to figure out where to intern or train to get the experience I need. But, Dad... I’m going to be involved in college ball, one way or another.”
“Because you decided to do it all those years ago? Or because you still want to?”
Jason frowned at his father. What kind of question was that? “Because I want to.”
Max gave his head a shake. “Then I wish you luck.”
And Jason wished that his father actually meant what he said.
“I’m not going to settle, Dad.”
“I’m not telling you to settle. I’m telling you to examine your motivations as well as your goals.”
“I’ll do that.” Jason set down his coffee cup and rose to his feet. He stepped over a sleeping Dobe on his way out of the room. The stress that he’d managed to shed while working on the Lightning Creek came charging back, tightening his shoulders, his neck muscles, his jaw.
Get used to it. You’re going to be here for a while.
If not in the house, then in the vicinity.
But what killed him was the fact that his dad had just asked him to do something that he instantly knew he didn’t want to do. He didn’t want to think about whether or not his goal was still viable.
* * *
LIZ WAS WAITING at the library door when Allie got to school the day after Zach moved into the construction trailer.
“Not to play the anxious mom, but how’s my son?”
“Good. I have Mike Culver—Jolie’s grandfather-in-law—coming over in the afternoon to talk fertilizer and such for the meadows.”
“He’ll get a charge out of that. He always loved ranching, until, you know...”
“I know.” Allie unlocked her door. “I think he likes the idea of working for me now that he’s come to the realization that we didn’t do this as a form of house arrest.”