by Jeannie Watt
And was probably going to wait and see if Allie came to her senses rather than waste her breath right now. Allie knew her mom well because they were very, very similar.
After ending the call, she poured a glass of wine and had just taken the cover off her palette when the phone rang again. She knew without looking that it was Jason.
“How’d the interview go?” she asked as soon as she heard his voice.
“I think I have a shot.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks.” He cleared his throat and changed the subject. “How are you doing?”
“Everything’s the same as when you left.” Two whole days ago.
“Kyle?”
“Haven’t seen him. How’s San Diego?”
“It feels like a different planet here. A different world.”
“One you like, I hope.”
“Oh, yeah. I like it. It’s just...different.”
“Well, you know what they say about going home.”
“I think Montana is home.”
“No. You only lived here for two years before taking off for college. You’re a California boy.”
“You’re a snob, Allie.”
“Guilty,” she said with a smile. “And now you can tell me what’s bothering you.”
There was a brief silence, as if he were going to deny that there was a reason for his flat tone of voice. “I’m going to see Pat tomorrow before I catch my plane home.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Yeah. Coach told me not to go.”
“Then why are you?”
“He’s dealing with stuff, Allie.”
“Jealousy?” She knew all about that.
“Among other things.”
Allie tamped down her frustration. Jason had to handle the matter in his own way, but having dealt with a bitter person, namely Kyle, she had little patience. Even if said bitter person was in a wheelchair.
“I’m with Coach on this one, but if you must go, don’t let him guilt-trip you.”
Because even though Jason was about as centered as anyone she knew, from their brief discussions on the subject, she knew that this Pat character was his weak spot. And Jason was a rescuer.
“I’m just going to open the door to future conversations.”
“Great. But if he gets difficult, you might just give him that speech about heads and asses.”
“Thanks, Allie. I’ll keep that advice in mind.”
* * *
PAT’S GROUND-LEVEL APARTMENT was part of a well-manicured cul-de-sac neighborhood. Jason parked in front of the building and double-checked the apartment number before ringing the buzzer. A moment later the door swung open and Delia Madison frowned at him. Then she smiled. “Jason.”
He gave Pat’s sister a quick hug. “How are you?” Delia had also attended Brandt and they’d spent a lot of time together back in the day.
“Doing okay. You must be here to see Pat? He didn’t say anything to me.”
“Because he doesn’t know.”
Delia’s smile faltered. “Out back,” she said, waving toward the patio doors leading out into a private garden. It was a nice place, but nothing like the mansion Pat had once owned.
“Hey,” Jason said as he slid the door open.
Pat’s head jerked around and then he scowled. “What the hell?”
“Yeah. Good to see you, too.”
Pat’s mouth clamped shut and Jason felt like telling him to stop being so fricking proud, but he didn’t. Instead he said, “I interviewed at Brandt.”
“Thought that wasn’t going to happen.”
“A guy dropped out.”
Jason sat in a white wrought-iron chair next to Pat’s wheelchair. A towel was draped loosely over Pat’s lap, but Jason could still see how atrophied his friend’s once powerful legs had become.
“If I got the job at Brandt, and can arrange it, would you consider doing an internship there?” One of the perks of the job, or maybe it was one of the duties, was that Jason would select and train interns to help the coaching and administrative staff.
“Little premature, isn’t it?”
“I said if, and since you don’t answer my calls or texts, I figured I’d see you face-to-face before flying home.”
Pat looked very much like he wanted to tell him to go to hell, but he didn’t. Instead he shook his head. “Go there and have people looking at me? Saying there’s the guy who couldn’t handle real life? I don’t think so.”
Jason sucked in a breath. “When I had difficulties with my head on the field, when I was missing my catches, you helped me straighten things out.”
Pat gave a small shrug.
“When I was drawing into myself because, for the first time ever, I wasn’t the best, you told me to get a grip and stop feeling sorry for myself.”
Pat’s eyes widened angrily. “I know where this is going and don’t you dare.”
“I’m daring. This is your life. You made it. Now do something with it and stop hiding.”
“It’s none of your business what I do.”
“Yeah, it is. Because I owe you.”
“You owe me nothing. We’re even.”
Jason stood and walked over the chair, then crouched down so they were at eye level. “I am not the enemy, Pat. I think we both know who the enemy is. When you want to face reality, give me a call.”
He stood then and headed for the door to the house, which was cracked open. Delia was just inside, openly eavesdropping. She slid the glass open and after Jason walked into the air-conditioned room, she shut it behind him.
“Good try,” she said. “Coach tried, too.” Her jaw tightened briefly before she said, “I’ll try to knock sense into him, but no promises.”
“Yeah.” Jason smiled grimly, then lightly kissed Delia’s cheek. “You’re a good sister, Del. Call me if you need anything.”
* * *
ALLIE WAS ON her knees in the garden when Jason’s truck pulled into the drive, shooting to hell her plan of looking great when he showed. It wasn’t as if he’d never seen her dusty and disheveled before.
He parked the truck and came to meet her at the garden, taking her into his arms and kissing her long and hard.
“Any new calves?” he asked.
Allie laughed. “One. Now we’re done for the season.” She smoothed a hand over his face, then kissed him again.
Jason tilted his head toward the garden. “Looks good.”
“Yes. Better than it looked the last time I planted it, but I didn’t properly care for it then.” One corner of her mouth quirked. “I was fighting to survive.” She turned back toward him. “When will you hear?”
“A matter of days.”
“Did you talk to Pat?” His expression clouded over, giving her the answer. “That bad?”
“He has issues.”
Which were hurting Jason and she hated seeing that. They started for the house with Jason’s arm still loosely slung over her shoulders. “Is Zach around?”
“He’s at that class he was ordered to take. Liz’s dropping him by later tonight. Have you been home yet?”
Jason stopped on the porch and took her face in his hands, leaning down to first kiss her, then lightly nip her lower lip, sending a stab of need slicing through her. “I thought I’d stop here first. Say hello.”
“Yes,” Allie said as she gently nipped him back. “Hello is definitely in order.”
* * *
JASON SHOWED UP for work early the next day and life on the Lightning Creek continued as it had before he’d left for the interview. Zach lined him out and Allie went to school and Jason realized as he strode out into the field that if he couldn’t eventually coach football, he’d be qu
ite comfortable working on a ranch. Not just owning one, but working on one.
Of course, he’d have to have a manager to tell him what to do, because he didn’t have a clue. But the actual work—he loved it.
And he was beginning to suspect he loved Allie, too. What had started as an attraction and a challenge had grown to feel like a partnership and...something more. That something more, he suspected, was love, plain and simple. Which made him glad that she didn’t want to stay on the Lightning Creek, because that made it all the more possible that she might go with him if he got the job. Together they could test the waters. She was at the perfect point in her life to do that.
Yes, things could easily fall into place and he felt pretty damned good about life.
He felt even better later that day when the call came in from Amanda Morehouse, offering him the job of assistant to the associate athletic director of Brandt University. The pay would be less than advertised, due to his lack of experience, but he would get full benefits and a yearly bonus.
“I accept,” Jason said. He’d just realized his goal while standing in the middle of a Montana cattle pasture. Life was funny sometimes.
“I’ll send you the paperwork.”
“Excellent,” Jason said, beating Amanda to the punch. He hung up and dropped the phone into his pocket. He was looking forward to telling Allie the news.
* * *
WHEN ALLIE GOT HOME, Jason had the Jameson bottle on the sideboard along with the fancy crystal on-the-rocks glasses he’d bought in the airport on the flight back from San Diego. The woman he loved couldn’t continue to drink whiskey from a juice glass.
Allie walked into the house and stopped, her gaze swinging from him to the new glasses and back to him. “You got the job, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“I knew you would.” But even though she smiled back, she didn’t look all that happy. He hoped that was a good sign—a sign that she didn’t want him to leave. “I thought a toast was in order.”
“I’m all for that.” She dropped her tote bag next to the door and crossed the room to take the glass he offered. “Nice.”
“They’re yours so that you can retire the juice glasses.”
“Thank you.” She gingerly touched the rim of her glass to his. “Congratulations.”
He gestured with his head and Allie followed him out onto the porch, where they sat side by side on the sun-warmed top step. Jason sipped and looked out over the ranch he’d once tried to make his own. A ranch he’d truly come to love, even though Allie didn’t. Every couple had their differences.
“I’m going to miss this place. You should have let me buy it.”
“My sisters would have killed me. Besides, aren’t you supposed to be back frequently?”
“Supposed to be. But it won’t be the same as it’s been while I was working here. Practically living here, really.”
“You did spend a lot of time here.”
He gave her a long serious look. “I wonder why?”
“It wasn’t me to begin with.”
“It was always you.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Really?”
“No other reason.”
“Except escaping your dad.”
“I could have done that in other ways.”
Allie leaned her shoulder against his. “True.”
Jason set his hand on her knee, enjoying the feel of her silky skin under his fingers. “I know these are early days, but I thought I’d throw something out for you to think about.”
“And that is...?”
“Eventually moving to California with me.” Her muscles instantly tightened beneath his hand. “I’m not talking instantly. I know you have a commitment here on the ranch, but I was thinking...eventually.”
She leaned back, putting space between them. “You know that would be difficult for me.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s expensive to live there.”
“I thought we would live together.”
“If we live together, then I have to be dependent on you until I get a job.”
“So?”
“I can’t get into a situation where if things go bad, I’m helpless. I’ve been there before. I can’t do it again.”
“If things go bad, you can fly back to Montana. Live on the ranch.” It seemed so sensible and easy, but he’d been ready for Allie to balk. And she was.
“I’m...not ready for anything like that.”
“So that leaves us...”
She gave him a cool, almost perplexed look. “With you taking this job you worked so hard for and me figuring out life here.” He started to shake his head and she touched his lips lightly. “Jason, I’m not ready to start a serious relationship. If I move with you, that makes it serious.”
“I’ve been reading things wrong here? I don’t think so.”
“How are you reading them?”
“I’m reading them as you once again letting your past stand in the way of your future.”
Allie stood. “Read it as you will.” She turned then and walked into the house, letting the screen door bang shut. He got to his feet and followed, leaving his glass sitting on the opposite side of the step from hers. Allie could run, but she was not going to hide until they sorted this out.
* * *
ALLIE DID HER best to keep her game face on as the screen door opened and shut behind her and she turned to face a very angry Jason. She raised her chin, ready to do battle. Of course, her past was keeping her from moving forward. People learned from the past and avoided future errors.
Right now, during early days, as he’d called them, everything felt right about being with him. But she knew about the bliss of early days, and she also knew that she couldn’t move to California and be dependent on him this early in their relationship. She was too cautious for that and she didn’t see how he could blame her for being that way.
“This is too much at one time. Moment by moment, remember?”
“Screw moment by moment. That’s no longer the point.”
“What is the point?”
“I want to hear why you think being with me would be a repeat of your relationship with Kyle.”
“Because of me. I’m afraid to need you, all right? I love being with you, but I am terrified of needing. Needing means that I’ll do things out of character. I needed Kyle. Kyle, for pity’s sake. I put up with things out of fear that I should never have put up with.”
“That was Kyle. This is me.”
“It wasn’t Kyle. It was me and my needs and my fear of loss clouding my judgment. Moment by moment I can do. Anything else...” She shook her head. “You’re asking for too much, Jason.”
“Well, this was one hell of a homecoming,” he said, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.
“I’m sorry.” And she was. Sorry that push had to come to shove so soon. She’d thought they’d have more time to simply enjoy one another without real life butting in.
“Me, too.” There was weariness in his voice and Allie felt the gulf between them widening as he fell silent. But what could she say?
It was Jason who broke the silence. “I need to go. I’ll...catch up with Zach later. Explain things to him.”
“I understand.” Allie swallowed the lump in her throat, told herself that this was merely the two of them facing the truth. It was. Sometimes the truth hurt.
No. It did more than hurt—it tore you apart inside.
Jason went out the door without a word. Allie stood where she was until she heard the truck start, then she sank down onto the sofa and let the tears come. A few tears now were better than days’ worth later.
* * *
MAX TOOK JASON’S new job a lot better than Allie had. But Max didn’t ha
ve the baggage Allie did; he had different baggage that was easier to work with. Still, it was a difficult conversation, convincing his stubborn father that he wasn’t abandoning him forever.
“I know you hate California, but there are some great golf courses. I’ll fly you down when I can’t make it home. You and Jim, if you want.”
Max let out a long sigh and muted the television, which had been playing in the background. “You didn’t make it home all that often while you were playing.”
“Gee,” Jason said dryly, “I wonder why.”
“I know why,” Max snapped. “I was just hoping that once you retired I’d see more of you.”
“We’ll spend a lot of time together, Dad. I promise. I want to spend time together, too.” He smiled a little. “Someone’s got to take the heat off Kate.”
Max waved his hand dismissively. “You still looking to buy property here?”
“Investment property.”
“Not living property?”
“I’m going to take things slowly right now. Concentrate on the job. One thing at a time.”
“You always were a goal-focused kid.” Max turned the volume back up on the television.
“Learned from the best. And when I come back, I thought I could stay here with you.”
“That would work.”
Jason stayed in the recliner next to his father until Max fell asleep and then he made his way out to the kitchen to make a sandwich. Kate had taken refuge in the garage while Jason talked with Max, supposedly going through storage boxes, and she’d yet to surface. Jason made two sandwiches anyway. Hiding could build an appetite.
He was on his way to the garage when his cell phone rang. Pat.
Wonder of wonders.
“Yeah,” Jason said.
“Coach told Delia that you got the job.”
“I did.” And since Pat wasn’t growling out his words, maybe he’d called to congratulate him.
“You said something about an internship.”
Jason’s tense muscles relaxed an iota. Maybe something good would come out of the evening.
“Yes. I have the opportunity to bring an intern on board to work with me as part of the program I oversee and I thought you might be interested.”
“Yeah?”