Winslow knew that. Sighing heavily, he pushed himself out of his chair. “A betrothal that will soon know fruition and devastate my daughter,” he said, moving slowly for the door. “I must find Alyx and explain the situation to her. If you hear the screaming, pay no attention.”
He said the last few words rather ironically, causing Lance to crack a smile. “I will not,” he said. “But what about Douglas’ missive? What will you do?”
Winslow paused by the door. “I will not let him dictate my relationship with my allies,” he said. “We will continue to travel to and from The Lyceum as normal. And I will not, under any circumstances, allow him to govern anything to do with my daughter.”
Lance was glad. He would have hated to have seen Winslow submit to Douglas’ demand, but he would not have truly blamed him. There was a great deal at stake, now with a demanding warlord and the unexpected arrival of a fiancée.
A complicated situation that had only grown more complex.
As Winslow and Lance headed about their business, Alyx was just entering the keep from the bailey outside. She had promised her father she wouldn’t wander in the woods and she’d kept that promise. The only wandering she’d been doing had been in the garden in the kitchen yard where the cook had been harvesting the last of the carrots and some other late vegetables. She also made a pass through the remains of her mother’s flower garden, long overgrown, but there were still plants producing blooms.
It was one of her favorite places.
Even as Alyx entered the keep, she had a small purple flower in one hand and a carrot in the other. The carrot was raw, which the cook severely frowned upon, but Alyx liked them that way. Crunching on the vegetable, she passed Winslow’s solar. The door was open so she stuck her head in, seeing that the chamber was empty.
It was in disarray, as it usually was, but there was a method to Winslow’s madness. He was an extremely bright man, an intense man, and that was where a lot of the stress from his heart came from. He’d had a bad heart for as long as Alyx could recall and she really did try to behave herself so as not to worry the man, but it didn’t always work out that way, especially when she would take her forays into the woods.
Winslow never became irate with her, instead using love and concern to try and keep her corralled. But it never really worked. Alyx still did as she pleased. She was strong-minded and went about her days as she wished while Winslow silently worried over his only daughter. Of course, Alyx felt bad for putting her father in such a position but not badly enough to stop.
Still, she loved him dearly. He was a kind and gentle man, and she didn’t’ tell him that nearly enough. Moving into his solar, she went to his cluttered table and put the purple flower on it, a sweet little gift to him to let him know she was thinking of him. She was about to turn away from the table when something upon it caught her eye.
A half-opened document that had flowers and birds painted on it.
Curious, she picked it up, wondering who would be sending her father something that looked as if belonged to a lady. Whoever had illustrated it was quite skilled. She began to read the words:
Lord Lionel Harringham requests your presence at The Lyceum
for a feast welcoming the betrothed of Sir Torston de Royans.
Lady Lilia Ragland de Weese of the House of de Weese,
Relations to the House of de Winter.
Come one, come all, to welcome Lady Lilia.
The celebration shall henceforth begin three days from Sunday.
Alyx was so shocked that she read it again and then again.
Lady Lilia Ragland de Weese?
Mouth open in astonishment, Alyx set the invitation back on her father’s table, staring at it as if it had suddenly sprouted horns. Torston’s betrothed, the woman she’d known about for nine long years, was at The Lyceum?
She couldn’t help but feel an abject sense of betrayal.
Alyx knew it wasn’t her right to feel that way; it wasn’t her anything. But Torston never said a word about the arrival of Lady Lilia. The last they had spoken, he had told her that he wanted her. He told her that if there was a way to release himself from the betrothal, he would do it.
That was the last she’d heard.
And now this.
Certainly, Alyx was coming to think she had every right to feel betrayed. Shock turned to fury. The man had told her one thing when, clearly, another had happened. Why would he not have told her about Lady Lilia if he’d known she was coming?
There was one way to find out.
Alyx headed for the stables.
Her favorite postern gate at The Lyceum was predictably open.
Leaving her horse tethered to a tree on the path leading up to the gate, Alyx charged into the kitchen yard through the gate that was guarded by one soldier, as was usual. Given that he knew her, he simply let her pass.
Once inside, The Lyceum and her gardens appeared normal enough. Alyx didn’t see anything strange or out of place. She didn’t see any strange woman lingering among the plants and pond, but she was here.
That woman.
Alyx could feel it.
She’d spent the ten-mile ride from Makendon building up a righteous rage at Torston for the situation. Never mind that there was wild jealousy aimed at the fiancée who now had a name – Lilia. All of that riding gave Alyx a chance to think hard on the situation so, by the time she reached The Lyceum, she was feeling anguish and devastation, all of it aimed at Torston.
She simply couldn’t believe he had lied to her.
Passing through the kitchen yard, the kitchen servants didn’t give her a second look because she was such a fixture at The Lyceum. Alyx continued on, searching for Torston, but when he didn’t make a ready appearance, she began looking for anyone she recognized. As she entered the gardens, she came across Jess as the man headed toward the postern gate.
The look of surprise on his face when he saw her was pronounced.
“Alyx?” he said, puzzled. “When did you arrive? I did not know you were here.”
Jess was a nice man but Alyx didn’t have any patience at the moment. “I am looking for Torston,” she said, avoiding his question. “Where is he?”
Jess knew why she was here. It didn’t take a great intellect to figure that out. He knew about the invitations. They all did, thanks to Lionel, who had informed everyone at sup the night before that invitations for a feast in Lady Lilia’s honor had been sent out earlier that day. Torston, who had been busy with a group of new soldiers all day long, hadn’t known anything about it until Lionel told him.
But that seemed to have been the plan.
Lionel wasn’t well. That much was clear. The past few weeks, days even, had seen the man slip considerably. He informed Torston that, considering all of the issues they’d had with the Scots as of late, a great feast in honor of the lady would be a needed diversion but the words he used didn’t sound like his own. He sounded as if he were repeating something that someone had told him.
Torston, of course, had nearly erupted. He thought Lionel was legitimately mad to believe such a thing but, more than that, he knew that someone had to convince Lionel that a feast for the lady was a good idea. He’d told Jess as much. Was it Morley? Or even Lady Lilia’s nurse? Both Torston and Jess couldn’t imagine that Morley would do such a thing, but the lady’s nurse… now, there was a suspect. Torston sensed that the old nurse was formidable from his initial interaction with her and his suspicions about the woman ran amok.
But that would have to wait.
There was something more important on his mind.
Alyx was to receive an invitation before he could tell her of Lilia’s arrival but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Torston had planned on going to Makendon himself but the recruits had arrived and, as was customary at The Lyceum, the knight known as The Centurion would indoctrinate them before they were handed over to the master sergeants. That was how it usually worked. Jess had no doubt that Torston planned on maki
ng his way to Makendon when he was free, but it appeared as if Makendon had come to The Lyceum first.
It promised to be a volatile situation.
“We have a group of new soldiers and he is evaluating them,” Jess said, reaching out to grasp her arm when she tried to walk past him. “Wait, Alyx. Do not make this situation any worse than it already is. Wait here and I will send him to you.”
Alyx glared at him. “Make it worse than it already is?” she repeated. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Jess could see he’d offended her. “Not what you think,” he said, lowering his voice. “I know why you’re here. In truth, I am surprised it took you this long to come. Torston is not a happy man these days.”
Alyx didn’t want to discuss the situation with Jess. She wanted to talk to Torston. Crossing her arms, she took what was presumably a deep and steadying breath.
“Tell him I am waiting for him, Jess,” she said. “I will wait here. But if he does not come to me in just a few minutes, I will go looking for him.”
Jess knew she would, too. He held up his hands. “Do not, please,” he said. “You’ll just make things worse. Wait here until he comes. I promise that I will tell him to hurry.”
Jess was hinting that things were not well at The Lyceum, which gave Alyx pause. She was starting to think there was something more amiss than the arrival of Torston’s intended.
Suddenly, the situation seemed… strange. Giving Jess a curt nod, she stood there with her arms folded across her chest as Jess ran off, back into the keep.
And she waited.
But the waiting didn’t do any good. It didn’t give her a chance to calm down. What the ride over had accomplished, the waiting for Torston only aggravated. The anger, the shock, was fading and a deep sense of hurt was taking over, so much so that Alyx soon found herself blinking away tears.
The reality was that the woman Torston was to marry had arrived.
She was going to take Torston away.
The tears began to fall faster than Alyx could flick them away. In her wait for Torston to appear, she wandered over to the pond with the naked statue in the middle of it, looking into the water to see silver fish swimming around in the green water. Lionel had the pond built like those in ancient Rome, with white stone and mosaic tiles along the edges depicting gods and mythical beasts.
Alyx had sat at this pond, many times, and almost always with Torston either with her or in her line of sight. Though she still couldn’t conceive of a world where Torston would marry another woman, she knew that if he did, she would never set foot in The Lyceum again. She wouldn’t walk the same grounds where Torston’s wife would be, a woman who would have everything that Alyx had ever wanted.
It was her worst nightmare.
God, please don’t let him marry that woman!
“Alyx?”
The voice came from behind and Alyx turned to see Torston coming toward her, a concerned expression on his face. “Alyx, when did you arrive?” he said. “You did not come in through the gatehouse. I was in the bailey and would have seen you.”
Alyx was prepared to take a stand. She was prepared to be angry with him. She was prepared to be hurt and outraged. But that all fled at the sight of his face. All she could feel at that moment was pain.
“I had to find out your betrothed arrived at The Lyceum from an invitation to her party?” she said tightly, tears forming. “You did not even have the decency to tell me yourself?”
Torston knew why she had come. There was no doubt in his mind. He felt like a fool for not having been able to get away sooner, to go to Makendon and try to explain the situation to her personally, but here she was, verging on tears, and he didn’t blame her. He’d never felt more like a failure in his life than he did at that moment.
As he looked at her, something changed.
“Walk with me, Alyx,” he said softly, reaching out to take both of her hands. “Please, walk with me.”
Alyx was trying so hard to control herself but it simply wasn’t working. The tears fell and because Torston was holding her hands, she couldn’t wipe them away. He was pulling her over to a section of the garden that was more secluded than the rest, away from the focal point of the pond. Once they were beneath an arbor built from Scots pine, he reached up and wiped the tears from her face himself.
“Had I known of any of this before it actually occurred, I would have told you,” he said quietly. “But I did not know. I did not know Lady Lilia would be arriving. She did that of her own accord. She is uninvited and unwelcome, at least by me, but somehow Lionel has taken it upon himself to hold a feast in her honor. That was not my idea.”
Alyx was sniffling still. “But this party…”
He cut her off gently. “I knew nothing of it, I swear,” he said. “The announcements went out without my knowledge. I only found out late last night and by that time, it was too late. They had gone out.”
He sounded reasonable and honest, and in truth, Alyx had never known him to lie to her. The devastation she was feeling at the situation was now swinging back around to anger directed at Lilia.
“But why did she come?” she demanded. “If you did not invite her, why is she here?”
Torston could only lift his shoulders. “I have asked her that very question and the best excuse I am given is that she was ‘excited’,” he said. He didn’t want to tell Alyx all of it, but he had a feeling that he should. It might help her understand what was going on. “She comes of age in a few months and that is when we are supposed to be married, but she evidently cannot wait. That is why she came. Alyx, sweetheart, believe when I tell you that I do not want her here. You know this betrothal is unwanted, at least by me. I did not lie about that.”
He’d never called her “sweetheart” before. Alyx looked at him with some astonishment because that was such a grown-up term of endearment. It was what lovers called one another.
But the truth was that they weren’t lovers. They weren’t anything. As much as she badgered, begged, and enticed him, they really weren’t anything to one another. She may have been young, but she wasn’t foolish. She didn’t look at any of this as a game. What she felt for Torston, she’d felt for more than half her life. It was a part of her as surely as he was.
She didn’t want to lose it, but she also couldn’t fool herself.
She had to know the truth.
“Torston, I must ask you a question and I want you to be completely honest with me,” she said. “Will you do this?”
“I am always completely honest with you.”
She sighed faintly. “I have spent the past nine years making no secret of my feelings for you,” she said softly. “I was a child then. I am not a child now. I understand that my feelings are deep and real, and nothing can change them. It wasn’t some silly dalliance I had for you. It was something true that has only grown with time. When you were at Makendon most recently, you said something to me – you told me you wanted me. It was the first time you’d ever said that to me. Was that true or were you simply in the heat of the moment?”
His eyes glittered. “It was true.”
“Then you mean it?”
“I never say anything I do not mean.”
“But why now? Why after all of these years?”
“Because,” he said, looking somewhat uncomfortable for the first time. “You were always a sweet little friend, Alyx, but when you saw eighteen years, something changed for me. You are a grown woman now and whatever I was resisting before that moment in time, I can no longer resist. I will admit that I kept myself protected from you because it would have been too easy to give in to your charms. But now… the only thing holding me back is this betrothal. I told you that I would try to find a way to break it and I meant it, but until that time… Alyx, forgive me, but because of this contract, I still cannot openly show any affection for you. It is not that I am loyal or have feelings for Lilia, but a betrothal means something. It is an oath. I did not give it, but my father did. To i
gnore it openly would be to shame him and I cannot do that.”
Her brow furrowed as she thought on his words but the truth was that she understood them. It was a matter of honor now. When Lilia was but a mere word, a distant event that would happen sometime in the future, Alyx had no problem throwing herself at Torston. She never did it in front of anyone but in private, she had no issue with it. But now, Lilia was here. Everyone knew about the betrothal and the situation had grown critical.
She understood that Torston couldn’t shame himself.
He was a man of honor.
“I would not expect you to do anything dishonorable,” she said, feeling tears sting again. “And I… I have been shameless toward you, Torston. I have not shown any regard for your betrothal and, for that, I am sorry. I never meant you to do anything disgraceful but my feelings for you are difficult to control.”
Reaching out, he took her hands again, bringing them up to his lips for a gentle kiss. “As mine would be for you if I were to let myself feel them,” he murmured. “I want to feel them, Alyx, but I will have to be very discreet about it. This is a very delicate situation. Can you understand that?”
“I can.”
“I would be a more honorable man if I stayed away from you completely until this was all settled, but I do not want to do that. I cannot do that. Forgive me for keeping you as my secret pleasure, at least for the time being.”
“What does that mean?”
He put her palms against his cheeks as he gazed down at her. “It means I will work on breaking this betrothal because it is you I want to marry,” he said quietly. “But until I can, we must conduct ourselves with restraint in public. No meaningful looks, no throwing yourself at me. Will you promise not to do this?”
“I promise.”
A smile creased his lips. “For the first time in my life, I am very sorry to hear that,” he said, watching her grin, however reluctantly. “Be patient, be gracious, no matter what happens. When you meet Lilia, show her what a lovely and charming woman you are. Know that you are the woman I want to marry. You and no other. It is that confidence that will see us both through this.”
The Centurion Page 14