by Marcus Sakey
“Darling.” The woman who slid her arm beneath his had a face that looked thirty and eyes that looked twice that. “You know it’s not polite to talk politics at a party.” She nodded at Victor, said, “Especially when you don’t know everyone’s point of view.”
“Oh, it’s all right,” Victor said. “I find it very informative.” These are the elite? No wonder this country is such a mess. He smiled, said, “Given your position on Iran, and your clear knowledge of the region, you must have very strong feelings about Betin gan Makdous?”
“Umm, well, yes,” the man said, straightening. He coughed, glanced at the small audience staring at him. “Of course, I’m not an expert, but again, I think the situation defines itself. The only way democracy is going to survive is if we give it a safe haven. Liberals go on about schools and roads and hospitals, but if you give the people freedom, they can take care of the rest themselves. If that means showing the barbarians the pointy end of an M-16, well, so be it.”
“You feel that’s the proper way to deal with makdous?”
“Absolutely,” he said, and started to take a drink before noticing his glass was empty. “Show them who’s boss.”
“Really.” Victor shrugged. “Personally, I like to just wrap makdous in pita and eat it. But if you want to shoot your pickled eggplant first, go nuts.”
A woman tittered. The man’s face hardened, but before he could respond, Victor felt his cell phone vibrate. He glanced at the display, saw the number. “I’m sorry,” he said, “rude of me, but I need to take this call. Some of my clients are on the other side of the world.”
“Financial markets?” the man said between clenched teeth.
“More like import-export. Excuse me.” Victor gave a bright, blank smile, then turned away. Opened his cell, said, “Hold on.”
The party was in a magnificent Gold Coast penthouse, the east wall scored with windows framing Navy Pier and the cake-frosting traces of Lake Michigan. A string quartet played in the corner, and Mexicans in uniform wandered the crowd, passing trays. Across the room, French doors opened onto a small balcony, but even through the black-tie-bleached-blonde fund-raiser crowd, Victor could see that it was packed with smokers. A disgusting habit that somehow always got the best real estate.
He noticed a closed door on the far side of the room, strolled over, and stepped inside. The bedroom beyond was dark. He shut and locked the door, then walked over to the window and raised the blinds. A dozen stories below, cars raced up and down Lake Shore Drive, silent behind double-paned glass. He raised the phone. “Go ahead.”
“I think there’s a problem.” A pause, then, “Someone was killed in the alley behind Rossi’s. You know the restaurant I mean?”
“Of course. So?”
“He was killed by men who had just finished robbing the place.”
Victor closed his eyes. Goddamn it. He hated dealing with amateurs. Only pimps and porn stars would willingly adopt the nickname “Johnny Love,” and the man didn’t have the equipment to be a porn star. The business they’d done in the past had been strictly small-scale and very carefully regimented.
So why did you agree to meet with him? Why tell him to make this deal?
Why, for the love of Christ, advance him a portion of the purchase price?
The answer was simple. The deal had seemed worth the risk. Thing about risk was, it was only worthwhile when you won. “Interesting that it happened tonight.”
“That’s why I called.”
He took a deep breath, stared out into the night. Watched reflected light dance across the surface of the glass. Someone laughed in the other room, a loud donkey bray. These people. Some of them were useful, and all of them were rich, and he’d made some even richer in ventures they were careful not to know too much about. But that didn’t mean he had to like them. “What do the cops know?”
“Nothing yet. They’re focusing on the body. Our man in the department says the corpse’s name is David Crooch. Freelance tough guy. Did a bit for stealing cars, a couple of assault charges.”
“What about our friend the restaurateur?”
“No word.”
“No word?”
“No. His lawyer met him at the station, had him out in twenty minutes, and he disappeared.”
“I want to talk to him.”
“When?”
“As soon as you can throw his fat ass in a chair.” Victor rubbed the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. “And do something for me. Throw hard.”
MITCH WOKE IN THE DARK. Not the usual fuzzy-headed drifting, but wide-awake, just boom: eyes open, mind in gear.
In Jenn’s bed.
It had all been real, then. Warmth spilled through his chest, a sense of possibility. The room was coming into focus, and as he lay on his side with his arm tucked beneath the pillow, he could see the outline of her body through the thin sheet. The memories tumbled happy and disconnected. The softness of her lips. Her hungry sigh as he kissed down her body. The ropy tightening of the muscles in her thigh as he tasted her. The soft, quick moans that echoed from her throat as she came. Standing up, taking her in his arms. Dizzy and happy. The two of them stumbling to the bedroom, giggling at the sheer wildness of it, the improbability, the sense of being in another world. How the giggling turned to full-on laughter as they fumbled with a condom package, until he finally took the edge between his teeth and ripped it.
The perfect connection of sliding into her, eyes locked and inches apart.
Oh God, she’d said. Is this real? Are we doing this?
It’s real.
Are you sure?
Do you want me to stop?
No. No.
And finally, best of all, the melted softness of her body as she fell asleep against him, the cocoa butter smell of her hair, the miraculous sense that against all odds, he’d gotten what he wanted. In the dark of her bedroom, he smiled. It felt like a luxury, smiling just for himself. Smiling for pure joy.
Of course, if that was real, then the rest was, too.
His smile wilted. For a moment he was back in the alley, the smell of garbage and exhaust, the tinny radio playing Spanish love songs. The man staring up at him.
Mitch pulled the sheet off. Slid his legs out and sat on the edge of the bed. Silver light filtering through the blinds painted his pale thighs. He rubbed at his eyes, skin sticky with sleep.
What did you do?
The thought came fast and hard as a shiver. Panic soaked him, cold then hot, a flush that started in his chest. The man on the ground, helpless, teeth ground together in pain.
When he’d been young, Mitch had a BB rifle, spent months plinking away at bottles. One blue day a friend—God, what was his name, blond hair and bright teeth, one of those who would grow up to be a football star—it had been his turn with the rifle, only instead of the Coke can, he’d pointed it at a squirrel, a mangy thing watching them from a branch, and before Mitch could speak, there had been the soft pop of air. The squirrel had fallen. The two of them had stared at each other, horrified not only at what they had done, but at the swiftness of the consequence. The way the world reacted. There had been a moment of silence, total silence, and then they ran to stand over the poor thing. It had squirmed and writhed, tiny legs skittering uselessly, and Mitch had felt this same hot-cold sensation, even though he hadn’t been the one to pull the trigger. The desperate desire to take it back, to rewind—
Stop.
He closed his eyes, straightened his back. Took a long, slow breath in through his nose, held it. Released.
Use your brain.
He forced himself to look at things logically. It wasn’t a cute, fluffy squirrel that had been shot, a helpless creature that meant no harm. It was a drug dealer, an armed killer. One who had seen them, who could—would—wreck their lives. End them. His life, and Jenn’s, and the others’, too. There hadn’t really been a choice.
But what were you even doing there?
That was easy. He was taking a c
hance. Going after something he wanted. The money, sure. But also the respect, from both the others and himself. And he had done what he’d said he would, what he had been afraid he would need to. He’d protected Jenn. If Mitch had walked out of the dinner party the other night, she would have been out there with no one but Ian. As good as alone.
What you did is no different from what people do every day. Not always with a gun. But the people you hold the door for, the ones who tip a couple of bucks before going out to a three-hundred-dollar dinner? You think they aren’t ruthless in going after what they want?
Which is maybe why they aren’t the ones holding the door.
Fabric rustled slightly, and he turned. Jenn mouthed dream words as she rolled to one side. The sheets pulled tight around her, hugging the swell of her hips. Hair slid down her milk-white back, draped across the pillow. Awake she was strong and sexy and dynamic. But asleep, God, she was like a stolen candy or an exotic flower, something delicate and almost unbearably sweet.
What had happened in the alley wasn’t his life. This was. This was real. It was what he wanted, what he needed, maybe even what he deserved. Wasn’t he a good guy? He didn’t hurt people, didn’t break laws and hearts. His action in the alley was the culmination of something. Something that had started days ago, as he began to push back against the world. To not sit still and take shit. To own his space.
And by that simple act, look what he had accomplished. Look where he was.
Put it away. Pack it somewhere deep and don’t dwell on it. What you did is done. What you have, what you are, that’s up to you. And don’t forget. If you hadn’t done it, would you be here with her now?
With the clarity that dwells in the silent heart of night, he knew the answer.
Mitch took another breath, then slid gently back under the covers. Jenn lay on her side, and he eased over, curled to spoon her. Her skin was warm and soft as he wrapped an arm around her, and she murmured something incomprehensible, then pulled him closer.
He was asleep the moment he closed his eyes.
CHAPTER 16
“YOU HAVE... one... new message and... four... saved messages. Press one for new—”
It was after two in the morning, and Alex had finally made it home. He pressed the button, held his cell to his ear.
Jenn’s voice, her tone upbeat, perkily forced, like someone was listening in. “Hey, Alex, where are you? We were all hoping to hear from you tonight. I guess you’re busy. Anyway, the three of us are getting together for breakfast at my place tomorrow. Hope you can make it. We’ve got lots to catch up on. Hope all’s well with you, and see you soon!”
It was like something had been inside of his lungs and chest, some thick toxic fog that had been choking him. He sighed, breathed it all out, felt his body slumping in relief. She’d said the three of them. Whatever had happened in the alley, it hadn’t happened to them. Thank God.
Maybe things would turn out all right after all.
He called her cell, let it ring to voice mail. Hung up, dialed it again. Voice mail. He left a message saying he would love to join them for breakfast, then crawled into bed and collapsed into a merciful, dreamless dark.
When he woke in the morning, the first thing he reached for were the pain pills, swallowing two with a mouthful of tepid water. Then, still in bed, he called Jenn.
“Hello?” She sounded drowsy, half aware.
“It’s me.”
“Alex? Are you OK?”
“I had to go to the hospital, but I’m fine. A couple of stitches and a headache. How are you?”
“I’m—we’re—good. Things went . . . can you come over?”
“When?”
“An hour? I’ll call Ian.”
“Should I call Mitch?”
She hesitated. “No, I can.”
“All right. See you soon.” He closed the phone, then sat up slowly, the world wobbling as the blood drained from his head.
While the water warmed up, he peeled off the bandage, wincing as the tape tugged the torn skin. He squinted into the mirror. The cut was an inch long, ragged and swollen purple. Black surgical stitches gave it that Frankenstein look. Still, it didn’t seem too bad, considering how it had scared him last night.
He washed his hands, then, very gently, his face. Dried himself, then put on more gauze and taped it in place.
“God, you’re handsome,” he said and laughed. It felt a little manic. He pulled on jeans and a black T-shirt, his boots, and went into the shocking light of day.
By the time he’d made it to her floor, the door was open, Jenn standing in it. Her hair was brushed but not done up, and she wore shorts and a thin tank top. There were dark circles under her eyes, but her cheeks glowed as she stepped forward to hug him. He wrapped his arms around her hard, tugging her to him, inhaling deep.
She hugged back warmly enough, though her body seemed a little stiff, the way she was when others were watching. Over her shoulder, he saw Mitch, wearing the same outfit he had yesterday afternoon.
“Jesus, am I glad to see you.” Mitch held out a hand.
Alex let Jenn go, stepped past her, grabbed Mitch’s hand and pulled him into a hug. “You too, buddy. You too.”
Mitch clapped him on the back, and they both laughed, all of the worry and fear dropping away.
“Oh my God, your face.” Jenn reached for his cheek, stopped short of touching it. “Are you—”
“I’m fine. Just a couple of stitches. Speaking of, where is the scrawny bastard?”
“Right here.”
The voice came from behind. Alex turned, saw Ian climbing the stairs, impeccable in suit pants and a jacket, no tie. The man looked wary, like he might dart away if the floor creaked. “I . . .” He ran a hand through his hair, dropped it to hang at his side. “Fuck, man, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
Alex narrowed his eyes. He curled one hand into a fist, took three fast steps forward—
“Alex, no!”
And threw his arm around his friend’s neck, yanked him into a hug. The guy weighed nothing, felt impossibly thin through his clothing. For a moment he seemed confused, reluctant, but then he wrapped his arms around Alex. “Shit, you scared me there.”
“You think I’m going to hit you?” He shook his head. “I’m too glad you’re OK.” He stepped back, looked at the others. “All of you.”
“We’re more than OK,” Mitch said with a crooked smile. He glanced around, then reached inside the door of Jenn’s apartment and came out with a big freezer bag, the kind that could hold half a chicken. Inside was a thick stack of green bundles.
“Ho-ly shit.”
“There’s three more that size.”
“My God.” Alex stared at it, just stared. There it was, all he needed. His whole life, his daughter, a new job, a new start, all packed into a Ziploc bag. Something pounded through him, hot and happy, exploding in a grin. “We did it. We fucking did it!” He started laughing, and the others joined, the four of them hooting and back-slapping like they’d won the Olympics.
After a few minutes, Jenn said, “We should go inside. We have a lot to talk about.”
At her words, the smiles fell away. The two gun blasts seemed to echo off the bare white drywall. He straightened. Took a deep breath. “Right,” he said. “Tell me everything.”
SHE COULD SEE THE GOOD HUMOR draining from Alex. Everything was shifting, and Jenn found that she didn’t know what to do with her hands, how to cross her legs.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
The hallway reunion had been great, a moment outside of time, but things had started to go south already. Strange enough to have them all in her living room. But then add to that the thing with Mitch last night. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It hadn’t been a planned decision, but it wasn’t nothing, either. Sure, adrenaline had played a part, and the memory of what he had done for her, how far he’d been willing to go. But there had been a connection, too. It wasn’t like the sex she and Alex
had shared, a friendly, lusty sort of thing predicated on an understanding of boundaries. Last night felt like maybe the start of something.
In a normal relationship, they would have slept late, made love again, sipped coffee in bed and giggled. Whereas this morning, she had awakened, stretched, and enjoyed five peaceful seconds as her consciousness booted up—then been slapped by the memory of the alley. Her throat had tightened and her belly had gone acid. She’d put a hand over her mouth to catch a whimper. Slipped out of bed and into the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror.
You wanted life to have meaning, to feel real?
Here you go.
She had a desperate urge to cry, to hug her knees in the corner, at the same time she wanted to collapse in front of the toilet and retch. Her body was flame and ice and needles. Jenn had spun the cold water tap on, held her wrists underneath, forced herself to take deep breaths.
What did we do?
Jesus Christ.
What did we do?
Had she really thought that sleeping with Mitch would somehow erase what had happened? It had provided distraction and comfort, and she appreciated both. But the horror was still waiting for her on the other side.
Then the phone had rung, and it was game-on from that point. She forced herself out of the bathroom to talk to Alex in code. After hanging up, she’d found Mitch staring at her, his expression filled with emotions too varied and conflicting to bear a single name.
“Is Alex OK?” he’d asked.
“I think so. He’s coming over.”
He’d been silent for a long moment. “Guess I better get up.”
“Yeah.” She opened her lingerie drawer, saw she needed to do laundry. The absurdity of it almost set her to laughing. She picked up the panties she’d discarded yesterday and stepped into them. “Listen . . .”
“Please don’t say ‘about last night,’ OK? Please?”
“I wasn’t going to.” She found a bra that was a close-enough match and slid the straps over her shoulders. His eyes traced her breasts as she hid them. “But I think we should be quiet about this. Not tell the others.”