by Kate Hardy
‘Where did you magic that from?’ Jamie whispered.
‘Christmas fair,’ she whispered back.
Alison brought in her whiteboard from the kitchen, Becky drew a very impressive reindeer in about ten seconds flat, and someone else produced a scarf to be tied round the contestant’s eyes in a game of Put the nose—a round red magnet—on Rudolph.
This time, Aria won, and was thrilled with her prize of a cuddly snowman.
* * *
Anna had felt slightly guilty about not warning Jamie what family evenings turned into at her parents’ house; she should’ve given him the chance to back out of dinner, in case all the games and closeness with the children were too much for him. But he really seemed to be enjoying it, taking part in all the games. In the Who am I? game, where you had a picture of your character stuck on your reindeer antlers and asked questions to help you guess what you were—when the answers could only be ‘yes’ or ‘no’—Jamie cheated horrendously by mouthing questions to Charlie, who won triumphantly. To her surprise, Jamie was the one to suggest boys versus girls for a game where paper cups were stacked in a pyramid and you had to knock them over with a ball made out of socks, where Will won and everyone commented on how many times Anna could miss the entire stack and speculated on whether she’d be able to hit the enormous Christmas tree with the ball if she was standing right next to it. And he sat down and cuddled Ivy and Noah, finishing off by reading one of Aria’s favourite stories with all the children gathered round him.
‘He’s a keeper,’ Jojo said quietly to her. ‘We all think so.’
‘We’re not dating,’ Anna whispered back.
‘Liar,’ Jojo said. ‘But we really like him. So do the kids. And I love the fact that he makes you smile.’
‘It’s very early days,’ Anna warned.
‘Even so. Be happy, my lovely big sister,’ Jojo said. ‘You deserve this.’
When Jamie had finished the story, he closed the book. ‘And that’s it, I’m afraid. I have to go now because I need an early night. I’m doing operations at the hospital tomorrow morning.’
‘At Auntie Anna-Banana’s hospital?’ Charlie queried.
‘Yes,’ Jamie said with a smile. ‘We work on the same ward.’
‘Will you come back and play with us again?’ Aria asked.
‘Yes, if you’ll have me,’ Jamie said.
‘Or we could come to your house and play your games,’ Megan said with a wide, wide smile.
‘Meggie, you’re supposed to wait to be invited to someone’s house,’ Will intervened.
‘But Jamie’s our friend now,’ Megan argued, ‘and you’re allowed to ask to go to a friend’s house.’
‘We’ll sort something out,’ Jamie said. ‘Soon.’
‘Pinkie-swear?’ Megan asked.
‘Pinkie-swear,’ he said.
Oh, how easy it would be to fall in love with Jamie Thurston, Anna thought. And the way he’d been with her family tonight, chatting easily to all of them and not minding the kids taking over...
He caught her eye. ‘Shall I walk you home?’
‘That’d be good,’ she said.
Once they’d said goodbye to her family and had walked a few steps down the street, Jamie took her hand.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I should’ve warned you that the kids can be a bit full on.’
‘Let’s just say I can see exactly who their aunt is,’ he said.
She winced. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise. They’re nice. And, yes, it was very full on. But it meant I didn’t get a chance to... Well, brood, I suppose, and think of what might have been. It was good for me to go with the flow.’
‘And how. I can’t believe how badly you cheated at Who Am I?—putting questions in Charlie’s mouth.’
‘Your dad was doing the same with Megan,’ he pointed out, ‘and Aria had her dad and your sister coaching her.’
She laughed. ‘Yeah.’
‘I enjoyed it,’ he said. ‘Your family’s lovely. I really appreciate the way they just accepted me for who I am, not asking any questions.’
‘They liked you,’ she admitted.
He met her gaze. ‘Good,’ he said softly.
He led her down the next road.
‘This isn’t the way back to my flat,’ she said.
‘I know. It’s the way to mine. Come in for a coffee,’ he said.
She really hadn’t expected that. He was actually letting her into his inner sanctum. ‘Thank you. I’d like that.’
His flat was incredibly tidy—and incredibly impersonal, she thought. Unlike hers, his fridge was unadorned by magnets holding up children’s drawings or photographs; the only thing out on the kitchen worktops was a kettle. It was worse than a show home, because it didn’t even pretend to be a home: it was simply somewhere to exist.
‘You’d put one of those decluttering experts to shame,’ she said lightly.
‘It’s a short-term let.’ He shrugged. ‘So it makes sense to keep things tidy.’
It was a very clear warning that Jamie was planning to move on in a few weeks. She shouldn’t let herself fall for him, no matter how lovely he’d been with her family or how much she liked him. They didn’t have a future—and wishing wouldn’t make things different.
‘Uh-huh,’ she said.
Once he’d made them both a mug of coffee, he ushered her through to the living room. There were no pictures, no books, no music, she noticed. The only personal thing in evidence was a silver picture frame on the mantelpiece containing a wedding photograph. Unable to stop herself, she went over for a closer look.
Jamie was wearing a traditional tailcoat and a top hat, and Hestia was wearing a timeless and very elegant white dress; they were standing in front of the doors of an ancient country church. It was the sort of photograph you saw illustrating bridal magazines, she thought. The perfect couple at their perfect wedding.
‘Hestia was very beautiful,’ Anna said. And her total opposite: slender, petite and blonde.
Both Jamie and Hestia were practically shining with happiness, clearly deeply in love with each other, and she felt a pang for him. For what should have been.
‘It’s a gorgeous photo,’ she said, and replaced it on the mantelpiece. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have been prying.’
He smiled at her. ‘Don’t apologise. You weren’t prying. Given that I don’t keep knick-knacks around, I guess it makes the photo a bit of a focal point.’ He paused. ‘Would you rather I turned it to the wall?’
‘No, of course not. Hestia was your wife and you loved her.’
He nodded. ‘We were together for ten years.’
‘It’s a long time to love someone, and whatever happens in your future she’ll always be part of your life.’
‘I don’t have any regrets about our time together. Just for the stuff we didn’t get a chance to do,’ he said. ‘For you, it must be harder.’
‘Sometimes, but I try to remember the good times with Johnny,’ Anna said. ‘Because there were a lot, especially in the early years. It’s just a shame that...’ She shrugged. ‘Well, life isn’t perfect. You need to make the best of what you have, whether that means making a big change or finding a compromise. Look for the happiness.’
‘Come and sit with me,’ he said softly. ‘If it doesn’t make you feel awkward.’
She appreciated the fact that he was so sensitive. ‘No, I don’t feel awkward.’ She joined him on the sofa. ‘You said this was a temporary place.’
‘I’ve rented it for the length of my contract at the hospital,’ he said.
So was that what he did? Rented somewhere temporarily while he was a locum, and then moved on?
‘Nalini’s maternity leave is going to be for longer than three months,’ she said. ‘Would you consider staying for a bit more of it?’<
br />
‘Maybe,’ he said.
She winced. ‘Sorry. I’m being pushy again.’
‘Being direct,’ he said with a smile. ‘Which is good for me. It stops me ducking the issue.’
Though he rather had ducked the issue, she thought. He hadn’t actually said he’d consider staying for longer. And he’d mourned Hestia and their daughter for three years now. Would he ever be ready to move on? And, if so, would he choose to move on with her? Or was she hoping for too much?
The one thing that really troubled her was the issue of children. Even if Jamie was ready to move on, would her infertility mean that she wasn’t going to be enough for him? Because there were no guarantees that IVF would work. She might not be able to offer him the future he really wanted, if that was a future with children.
So did that mean she’d be a stepping stone for him—just as he could be a stepping stone for her, to help her move on from Johnny’s betrayal? Maybe that would work; they could be each other’s transitional partner, easing each other from the pain of the past so they were ready for happiness in the future. Except in that case she’d have to keep some emotional distance between them and not let herself fall in love with him, because it was way too much of a risk to let herself fall in love with a man who wouldn’t want a future with her. It would be setting herself up for even more heartbreak.
But was a temporary relationship, one with all her barriers up, enough? Would she be able to stop herself falling in love with Jamie? Had she already started to fall in love with him?
She didn’t have a clue.
So all she could do was make the most of the moment, and enjoy being curled up on the sofa with him.
CHAPTER NINE
ON FRIDAY MORNING a case came in that made Anna worry and go to Jamie’s office.
‘Everything all right?’ he asked when she knocked on his door.
‘I need your input,’ she said. ‘The Emergency Department’s sending up a six-month-old baby with a femoral shaft fracture.’
He went very still. ‘Are we looking at a safeguarding issue?’
‘Not sure,’ she said. ‘Before we see Zac and his parents, can we take a quick look at the X-rays?’
‘Sure.’
She pulled up the X-rays on his screen and he peered at them.
‘It’s not the only fracture,’ he said. ‘There are others that have healed.’
She took a deep breath. ‘So is it safeguarding?’
‘Possibly not,’ Jamie said. ‘His bones seem quite short. How much does he weigh?’
‘He’s right on the fiftieth centile—eight kilos.’
‘That’s a pity,’ he said. ‘I was hoping we could send him for a DEXA scan, but he needs to weigh ten kilos before we can do that.’
She looked at him. ‘DEXA scan? You’re thinking OI? But there isn’t a family history. The Emergency Department already asked about that.’
‘A quarter of cases of osteogenesis imperfecta are new ones,’ Jamie said. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’
‘Yes, please,’ she said.
She introduced them both to Zac’s parents, who were both white-faced and looking anxious.
‘I can’t believe he’s got a broken leg,’ Zac’s mum said. ‘He hasn’t rolled off anything—I never leave him on the baby-changer unsupervised. How can he have broken his leg?’ She bit her lip. ‘I thought it might be a tummy thing because he wasn’t feeding properly. That’s why I took him to see the doctor. He hasn’t been crying or anything.’
‘And we haven’t done anything to him.’ Zac’s dad looked panicky. ‘We’d never hurt him. And we haven’t left him with anyone who’d hurt him. I don’t understand.’
‘I know they’ve already asked you downstairs,’ Anna said gently. ‘We have guidelines and protocols. Our duty is to our patients.’
‘We get that,’ Zac’s mum said. ‘But it’s not very nice, people thinking we’ve hurt him.’
‘His X-rays show other fractures that have healed,’ Jamie said.
‘Other fractures?’ Zac’s dad looked horrified. ‘How?’
‘Oh, my God. This whole time I thought he was a fussy eater, but he’s been in pain and we didn’t know. He’s not a crier. I...’ Zac’s mum was close to tears.
‘Can we examine Zac?’ Jamie asked.
She nodded.
‘Hello, little man.’ Jamie’s voice was calm and soft. ‘Let’s have a look at you.’ He blew a raspberry at the baby, undressed him down to his nappy, and gently moved his arms and legs. There was no sign of bruising, Anna noticed, but his movements were slightly different from those of most of the babies she saw. And the whites of Zac’s eyes were bluer than normal. Both symptoms supported Jamie’s suggestion of a diagnosis of osteogenesis imperfecta.
‘Let’s get you wrapped up again,’ Jamie said gently, ‘so your mum and dad can give you a cuddle.’
‘You don’t think we’re hurting our boy?’ Zac’s dad asked, his voice cracking.
‘No. I think,’ he said, ‘that Zac has a condition called osteogenesis imperfecta, or OI for short. You might also have heard it called brittle bone disease.’
‘But—nobody on either side of our family has anything like that. They asked us downstairs,’ Zac’s mum said. ‘And when we told them it couldn’t be, they started looking worried and...’
‘...and that’s why they sent you up to see us,’ Jamie said. ‘A quarter of people we see with OI don’t have a family history. What it means is that the collagen—that’s the protein responsible for bone structure—is of lower quality than average, so it can’t support the minerals in the bone and that means the bones fracture a lot more easily than usual.’
‘So that’s what’s caused his broken leg? It’s nothing we’ve done wrong?’ Zac’s mum asked.
‘It’s nothing you’ve done wrong,’ Jamie confirmed. ‘Why I wanted to examine Zac just now was to see how his joints moved. They’re very flexible—something we call hypermobility—and I noticed on the X-rays that his bones seem shorter than usual.’
‘The whites of his eyes are bluer than average, too, which is another sign of the condition,’ Anna said.
‘Is it...? Will he...?’
Jamie clearly guessed what Zac’s father was struggling to ask. ‘It’s a serious condition and Zac will need extra support,’ he said, ‘but it doesn’t mean he’s going to die young.’
Zac’s parents were both pale with relief.
‘Can it be treated?’ Zac’s mum asked.
‘Yes. We’ll give him some Vitamin D supplements because it helps the body to absorb calcium and make bone. We’ll also give him a special drug to help his bone density,’ Jamie explained, ‘and we’ll measure his bone density regularly with something called a DEXA scan. It doesn’t hurt, though he’ll need to lie still for a minute or so during the scan and it’s a good idea not to have metal fastenings on his clothes.’
‘We’ll remember,’ Zac’s dad said.
‘The main thing is to manage fractures and manage the risk. We’ll be able to sort out the fractures with casts, splints and a brace, but we also need to make sure he’s still mobile. If he doesn’t move enough, it will weaken his bones and muscles and lead to further fractures,’ Jamie said. ‘When he’s older we might put metal rods in his long bones for support. You can get expandable ones that we lengthen with magnets, so he won’t need an operation to replace the rods.’
‘Swimming and water therapy will be really good exercises for him, as they lower the risk of getting a fracture,’ Anna added.
Zac’s mum smiled wryly. ‘So he’s not going to do what his dad hoped and become a prop forward for the Welsh rugby team.’
‘He’s still going to be able to wave a flag and sing the songs,’ Zac’s father said. He stroked Zac’s cheek. ‘But basically anything we do might hurt him. That’s absolutely
terrifying. We don’t want him to get any more broken bones or be in pain. We want to keep him safe.’ He bit his lip, shaking his head in obvious anguish. ‘How do we manage things so we don’t accidentally hurt him?’
‘Slow, gentle movements so you don’t startle him,’ Anna said, ‘because if he moves suddenly he could end up with a fracture. But you can rock him, cuddle him, talk to him and sing to him just like you do with any other baby—just be gentle and support him as much as you can.’
‘When you lift him, make sure his limbs and his fingers aren’t caught in a blanket,’ Jamie said. ‘Make sure your hands are wide when you lift him: one under his buttocks and lower back, and the other behind his head and neck.’
‘You might need to change your nappy-changing technique a little bit, too,’ Anna said. ‘Don’t lift him by his ankles.’
‘Is that how we broke his leg?’ Zac’s mum asked.
‘It could’ve been several things,’ Jamie said. ‘A baby doesn’t always cry when a fracture happens. You might just notice a bit of swelling around a limb—or, as you did when you took him to be checked over, that he’s not feeding well. The main thing is to remember that it isn’t your fault. No matter how careful you are, a fracture can still happen.’
‘So when you change his nappy,’ Anna said, ‘slide your hand under his buttocks to lift him. You might find it’s useful to put a clean nappy under him first and then remove the dirty one, so you only have to lift him once.’
‘Do you feed him by breast or bottle?’ Jamie asked.
Zac’s mum grimaced. ‘Bottle. I know breast is meant to be better, but...’
‘It’s fine,’ Jamie reassured her. ‘You might find it helpful to put him on a pillow when you feed him, and make sure you change sides each time you feed him so he gets used to turning his head both sides.’