The bruisers, they were shaken apart and blasted to mush, as my mother magnified and weaponized the ambient sounds and took them all out, except for two who were probably immune to sonic attacks. Those fell fast, to the soldiers that were left.
I was in a daze when it was done, and my mother flew over to me. I flinched, when she hugged me, and the deadly focus that had been my existence cracked. The tears came then, and the overwhelming horror of what I’d done, though it’d been necessary. A sob ripped out of my chest, and it escaped my lips before I could stop it.
“Nothing south of here needs your help, and your grandmother went south from hers as I went north, she’s got it well in hand. The battle is all but over. Where’s your team?”
I shook my head, and only then noticed mom’s whole team was there, where I’d left mine behind. Sally, Stacey, Janna, Thad, and the rest of them. On the other hand, I’d been a lot more effective without them. Maybe not in a supervillain battle, but in war? It was a cold thought, but keeping an eye on and dragging them along would’ve just slowed me down, and led to more deaths.
I couldn’t shield them all like my mother could. I couldn’t keep them safe. Couldn’t keep Lia safe.
“Lia’s gone, and I left Ella and Gabriel with my unit,” when I lost my mind. But I didn’t say that part. I imagine she heard it in my tone of voice though.
She measured me, and then just nodded. I was sure she’d have words for me later.
“Status?”
Aura huffed, “So, you’re talking to me now?”
I blushed, and I could hardly see through the tears, or the pain in my chest, but I still felt guilty.
“Sorry that I wasn’t listening, what’s going on?”
Aura said, “The battle is all but over. There’s a few more skirmishes going on far to the south in California, but the survivors of other fights are all moving in to end it. We lost close to seventy percent of our forces, but Dragonfire’s military was gutted. Shortly, he’ll only have his defenders, which isn’t nearly enough for when the world gets their head out of their ass and deals with it.”
Seventy percent. That number was huge, millions had died but I couldn’t really work out solid numbers in that moment. Less had died, where I’d showed up. A lot less.
I cleared my throat, “Where am I supposed to be?”
My mother sighed, and she shook her head in worried exasperation. Of course, she hadn’t seen or heard about what I’d done for the other groups, yet. I’d only stood there like a lump when I’d arrived at her site. I’d saved over eight hundred of our supers that day with my actions, in thirty-two locations, even I hadn’t known that yet, at the time. My mind wasn’t exactly working right, and it felt like far less, and far more, all at the same time. It’d been a numbing endless moment of focus and destruction as I’d waited to die.
I’d been so sure it would happen, that my luck would run out, but there I was. Still alive, when my partner was dead. It didn’t really feel real.
A part of me was still waiting in that moment, to die.
Aura replied, “Your unit was recalled to the staging point fifteen minutes ago when the northwest coast was finally cleared. After you went south, they followed orders and went north to assist elsewhere.”
Ouch.
“Teleport me in.”
I managed a sad broken smile for my mom, before I flew back away from her, and disappeared. I appeared on the same platform as last time, and I knew the way to my platoon. It was still crowded with people, but less than half of what it had been before, which was shocking. At the same time, it was much more than just thirty percent, closer to half. That was probably credited to my actions, as well as my mother’s and grandmother’s.
Others too perhaps, who were stronger than the norm, but I didn’t know who they were.
I’d never be as powerful as them, but with my micro-kinesis abilities I didn’t have to be stronger to be extraordinarily effective. Being the first teleporter certainly made a difference as well.
A few people gave me sideways glances as I made my way to where I was supposed to be. Ella and Gabriel looked relieved when they saw me, but they were also obviously angry, and upset about Lia and all the death. More people that would be having words with me, about running off into danger alone, no doubt.
I wasn’t sure I cared in that moment. I’d gone off on my own in anger and grief, but I’d also made a difference. As for the killing, the true horror of it hadn’t hit me yet. Not really, I was still far too numb to feel the depth of those emotions, still in shock at being alive.
“So, what’s going on?”
Ella shook her head, “We’re not sure yet. The battle is over. I’m surprised we haven’t been dispersed back to our cities yet.”
I frowned, as I realized our lieutenant must’ve died. There was a sergeant standing in front of the formation. A sergeant that was staring at me with dark angry brown eyes.
He replied to the questioning look in my eyes.
“I’ll see you executed, for cowardice in the face of the enemy, disobeying orders, and desertion. Five more of us died, that might not have, if your orbs and telekinesis had been with us.”
It was so shocking, that I laughed in his face. It sounded a little unhinged, because there was no joy in it, just loss and confusion. I imagined no one had time to check the video of any one soldier, the vast battle had just been finished after all. Except of course, obviously my team had been monitoring me and what I was up to.
I also hadn’t noticed, that my platoon had lost five more, and was down to twenty. More lives lost as they’d aided the other positions in the north.
I did feel guilt over that, but I felt false guilt for all that died, even as I knew it was the enemy’s fault. Five might’ve died, but I’d saved a hundred and sixty times that in lives, in the hour and a half I’d supported thirty-two more groups. Still, I understood it, and that would be no comfort to the people that had lost their partners as I had.
He turned red in the face, and he took a threatening step forward as he made a fist, but a white shield popped up around me as Ella expanded hers until the three of us were covered.
Gabriel said coldly, “You might want to review her footage, before making accusations. Yes, she went off half-cocked against orders that she probably didn’t even hear, but she didn’t run away. She ran to the enemy.”
The sergeant snorted in disbelief, but he also got his temper under control and backed up to his post.
I just shook my head, and I wondered why I was still alive. Lia’s death was overwhelming, and it was only the shock of it and all that had happened that day, that kept me from collapsing in a ball and falling apart. I felt… numbed disbelief.
Chapter Eighteen
The general took the podium again. I don’t really remember his speech verboten, but I can say he talked about duty, honor, and how we’d won the day. Fine sounding things, that fell flat in my ears.
Not that he was wrong. We’d done what we had to in order to protect our country, not the land, but the people in it and our way of life.
But it was also a tragedy, on both sides. Dragonfire was an evil putz, but the millions that had died had just been people with dreams, families, and the mistaken faith and belief in a monster that had bombed one of his own cities. It was… tragic, and so damned stupid.
I also felt selfish, because all I could think about was Lia’s death, like those others didn’t matter. That wasn’t reality, but my emotions were wild as we returned home. Chris and Jace had food ready for us.
Jace.
It all came back, what I’d been hiding from myself. What I’d forgotten until that moment. My vision turned red.
It was as I saw his face, that I finally remembered that look of regret he’d given me and Lia right as we left. A storm of betrayal and rage went through me. His body rose from the ground and slammed into the wall, several of his bones cracking and shattering as he screamed. I almost killed him, before I recoiled in horr
or and fled the room. That son of a bitch had known she’d die, and he’d kept it to himself instead of warning us.
Chris shouted after me in alarmed concern, but I slammed my door and collapsed on the bed. It all came out then, as my body started to shake, sobs ripped my chest, and tears flowed. I didn’t think at the time, that the storm of weeping would ever pass as the conflicting emotions stormed through my soul. Guilt, anger, regret, and so many others.
Superheroes lost partners, it was a fact of life, but Lia had been so much more than that to me. She’d been family, my closest friend, and she’d never failed to come through for me. But I’d failed her, when it mattered most, I’d lost track of her, and now she was dead.
I eventually fell into a deep sleep.
The tension was thick, as I woke up to someone knocking on the door. I felt like I should be suffering a headache at least, from the storm of weeping, but I felt fantastic. Damned super healing. The clock told me it was three hours later, and I let out a sigh.
“Come in,” I said, my voice wooden.
It was my uncle, and I felt shame at what I’d done, but I was still beyond angry at him as he came in my room and sat on the desk chair. He had regret and guilt on his face, but he also looked determined.
“I’m sorry, but it was something that couldn’t be changed. If I’d told you, it would’ve been worse, a lot worse. He was the strongest energy wielder they had, and he would’ve killed Ella and Gabriel if you’d not turned your focus to protecting them in that moment. Without their attacks added to yours and the speedster on the ground, he would’ve killed a lot more of you.
“The battle wouldn’t have ended thirty seconds later either, and you wouldn’t have saved eight hundred plus supers in thirty-two different groups. Instead, there would’ve been thirty groups of enemies behind our lines, helping their other groups against us, instead of the other way around. You wouldn’t have been nearly effective as you were, if Lia lived and you were completely focused on keeping her that way, and you would’ve died too. I couldn’t let that happen, so I kept it to myself.”
A part of me understood that, but at the same time a part of me would rather have died than sacrifice Lia for the many others. It was a horribly selfish thought, and even then in the depths of my angry misery I knew that Lia would be pissed at me for even considering that. She’d died protecting others and doing what she believed was right.
I didn’t say anything at all, and he got up and left, quietly closing my door. I didn’t really want to even get up, didn’t care about the business, and just the thought of finding a new super to be my partner made me cringe to the depths of my soul. I knew I had to pull myself together, superheroes didn’t get to wallow, but seeing as there was no emergencies or jobs to meet, I let myself wallow in it.
The next one to try to get me out of bed was Chris, but he didn’t say anything. He just came in, crawled into the bed, and held me. It was comforting.
Ella walked in next, while he was still there.
“I’m sorry for your loss. You’re as infamous as your mother and grandmother now, you know.”
I sighed, knowing she was just trying to distract me, but despite myself it did rouse a small bit of bitter curiosity.
“What are you talking about?”
Ella said, “That idiotic sergeant pushed for a court martial on you, accused you of what he said he would. If not for that, the high-level officers probably wouldn’t have ever reviewed that footage. It was leaked to the press, and they’re giving you most of the credit for the smaller losses we took along the northwest coastline. They’re calling you Wraith.”
I frowned, and shivered, “Wraith?”
Ella nodded, “You’ve been named. It was a little bit of a mystery, how those platoons were saved and who was behind it. They named you that because the enemy only got a glimpse of you, before you brought death to them.”
That was… depressing, and not really what I wanted to be lauded for. I wondered if that’s how my grandmother felt, when they’d named her Death’s Mistress.
Chris hugged me tighter, but he kept his silence. He was just about perfect, there really was nothing he could say to make me feel better, but he was there for me, which made all the difference. It was like he was holding me together in that moment.
“Sorry I ran off like that, I just… couldn’t stop. There were no enemies left where we were, and I saw the fierce fighting to the south and went. I had no partner to guard, and there were plenty of targets left.”
Ella shook her head, “I can’t even imagine what I’d have done if…” she trailed off, but it was obvious she was about to say if Gabriel had died. “Point is, I understand. I’m not happy you ran off, we’re still a team, but I get it.”
“What about Dragonfire? What’s happening?”
Ella said, “Joint U.N. task force took him down. He’s to be executed for war crimes, for destroying his own city and over half a million people in a false flag operation. And of course, he’s under charges for doing what he’s been accusing everyone else of, running a secret weapons program, even if he’s been using them against himself to inject doubt. Japan, Russia, and China will be under U.N. occupation until they can form new governments. They’ll also be policed by the taskforce, for perhaps a generation, until they have enough supers with offensive and defensive powers to take over.”
I shook my head, but better late than never.
Ella said, “Things should get back to normal, at least here. Your mother kept the city’s heroes safe behind her shields, so we didn’t even lose one. I hate to bring more bad news, but Sarah didn’t make it. She was the one loss on your grandmother’s team.”
Sarah Carson, Phoenix. Damn. The screwed-up part was that my emotions were deadened from earlier, I couldn’t feel it yet. At the same time, it was the best we could’ve hoped for, other cities had lost all their superheroes, too many. Two losses in the whole city should’ve felt like a blessing, but it didn’t, not even close.
“Any more good news?”
Ella grimaced, “That’s about it. The whole nation is experiencing survivor’s guilt, I think. It’s been pretty quiet. The president ordered a memorial built. For now, just focus on recovering.”
I nodded, but I didn’t speak again as she left.
The next two weeks were brutal, and the grief hit me like a tidal wave at random times. Perhaps it’s odd, but I never questioned even once that I’d continue to be a superhero. The idea of quitting didn’t even occur to me, while at the same time the idea of finding another partner made me want to throw up.
One of the hardest things I’d had to do those two weeks, was get up, get dressed, and attend Lia’s funeral. To face her parents, and the guilt that engendered. To look them in the eyes, and see the forgiveness there almost broke me all over again. My team, Uncle Jace, Chris, Ella, Gabriel, and Aura were all understanding while I took the time to pull myself together. We only had three jobs those two weeks, and they were all fairly simple and Ella and Gabriel took them.
I couldn’t, not without a partner.
I finally had that conversation with my mother as well, and she indicated what I’d done was both amazingly effective and had saved a lot of lives, but it’d also been incredibly foolish. I couldn’t disagree, it was a damned miracle I hadn’t gotten myself killed.
I no longer regretted the fact I hadn’t been.
I’d also dealt with the fallout of Sarah’s death, which had hit my mother hard, not to mention Sarah’s husband and children. They were all long-time family friends. Sarah used to babysit my mother as a toddler, while Death’s Mistress had been terrorizing the supervillains in the city.
The press clamored for interviews, and I ignored all their invitations. The idea of receiving accolades turned my stomach, as did being hailed Wraith.
I changed those two weeks. I’d always known it was dangerous to stand up for others and risk my life, but the loss of Lia really solidified that in my being. It was a struggle for me,
in many ways, but at the same time I’m not going to recount them all. This account already has far too much darkness and death in it, and anyone that has lost a loved one will have an idea of those trials I went through.
Suffice it to say the loss of Lia and the attendant and horrific reaping of lives that I was responsible for made me realize just how precious life was, and how delicate.
Superheroes, homo-potens, delicate. It sounded crazy, but it was the truth.
It wasn’t just dealing with the loss of my partner and best friend. It was dealing with the guilt at ending so many lives, even as I’d saved them on our side. To save those eight hundred lives, I’d killed thousands. War was an ugly and stupid thing.
The big picture shifted as Dragonfire was taken down by overwhelming numbers. His army had been cut down to a fifth, and the rest of the world outnumbered what he had greatly. He was gone, dealt with permanently, as was his loyal followers who refused to surrender. I wasn’t even sure if there was a lesson to take from that. He’d been a monster, and now he was gone. The world slowly calmed as that danger passed, and I hoped it would be a long time before another like him came along. They’d also found his secret test laboratories, and more dimensional weapons that were subsequently destroyed.
The country celebrated our win, but for us that fought, the idea of celebrating was anathema. There were no winners in war, just the losers and the ones that had lost the least.
His name would forever go down in history with the other mass murderers. Dr Grayson, Stalin, Hitler, and other evil men of history. In the end, if Dragonfire had proved anything it was that when all was said and done, we were all still human. Homo-sapiens, homo-potens, we were all flawed. Heroes, villains, monsters, and average citizens.
We were human.
There was one more personal truth though. Life went on, despite the losses, and the horror of it, life was still good and for the living. I could only mourn for so long, and while I’d miss my best friend for a long time to come, and I’d be sure to feel potently sharp moments of grief from time to time, the incapacitating level of grief slowly passed.
Wraith: Origins of Supers: Book Three Page 14