by J Grayland
Copyright © 2018 J. Grayland
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or means including photocopying, recording, or other mechanical or electronic methods without the prior written permission from the author.
Cover design by Addendum Designs
All rights reserved.
I’m lucky to have so many special people in my life to thank in their unconditional love and support in my endeavour to follow my dream. Besides the ever present love of my husband and children, I would like to thank my brother, sister, their families, and my mum with a special thank you to: Laura, Carmel, Ronnie and Author Nancy Chastain.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-three
Chapter Twenty-four
Chapter Twenty-five
Chapter Twenty-six
Chapter Twenty-seven
Chapter Twenty-eight
Chapter Twenty-nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-one
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-three
Chapter Thirty-four
Chapter Thirty-five
Chapter Thirty-six
Chapter Thirty-seven
Chapter Thirty-eight
Chapter Thirty-nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-one
Chapter Forty-two
Chapter Forty-three
Chapter Forty-four
Chapter Forty-five
Chapter Forty-six
Chapter Forty-seven
Prologue
Pulling my body closer into the wall, I try to absorb as much warmth from it as I can. With chattering teeth and dry lips and mouth I wrap my arms around my legs and try to make myself as small as possible. I roll my tongue around in my mouth trying to moisten it…but there’s nothing. Rubbing my hands against the dirty flesh of my legs I can feel my bones. They ache so much. Every part of my body hurts, and the smell in the room is a mixture of human waste and death. Time is non-existent. I used to count every hour, every minute, and every second until the pain made my head feel fuzzy, and then all the numbers just blurred into one.
I hear a noise at the door, and I look up to the small hole that was made in it some time ago. The tiny little spot of hope that sometimes gives me a small glimpse of light through it reminds me of a star, until it flickers, and I know he is there watching, and while he’s watching, he’s not hurting me. That particular pain stopped when that tiny hole appeared in the door. Around the same time, he ceased his morning ritual of throwing me a bottle of water and scraps of bread. Then he would walk away laughing as I greedily stuffed them into my mouth to soothe the pain in my belly. Now that pain is a constant reminder of how desperately hungry and thirsty I am.
I know it won’t be long now before sleep overtakes my body, and I won’t wake up. I keep hoping that this time when I close my eyes it will be over, no more pain, no more hunger, no more…him. Just peace.
Chapter One
Casey
Leaning my head back against the top of the chair, I gazed out the walls of glass that look outside onto the tarmac of the PDX airport. The sun was just going down, and I stared at the different planes lining up in rows, some waiting to take off on their journey, and some waiting for passengers to board. I watched as people shuffled and dragged their bags and cases through the departure lounge to their designated area before they flopped down into the rows of plastic seats.
Looking down at the passport held tightly in my hand, I saw the word “Sydney” printed on the top of my boarding pass that was wedged between its pages. “Home…I’m going home, so why am I not as excited at that prospect as I expected to be?” I let out a deep sigh, releasing that thought. Suddenly, I felt warm fingers entwine with mine as he brought my hand up to his mouth to place a kiss against my skin. I look up into those beautiful, steel grey eyes that never ceased to make me smile.
“Stop,” Nate said in a low grumble.
“Stop what?”
“Overthinking. I can hear your brain ticking over,” he said, one brow arching.
“Sorry,” I murmured. “I’ll try to keep the noise level down.”
“No, you’ll tell me what’s going on in that crazy mind of yours,” he said with a quirk of his lips.
I slowly shook my head and said, “Well, apart from the obvious, I thought this would feel different. Going home, you know?”
“And it doesn’t?”
“Yes…no, I don’t know. It feels strange. I mean, I’m excited to see Flynn, but it feels like I’m leaving home. Does that sound weird to you?”
“No, baby, it sounds great to me,” he said smiling.
“You’re not being very helpful here,” I said, giving him a playful scowl.
“I’m sorry, it just sounds good to hear you say that you don’t want to leave. I know you have Flynn in Sydney, but here, you have a new family that you’ve bonded with, so it’s understandable that you’re apprehensive.”
“I guess,” I said, nodding.
He placed a finger under my chin, tilting it up so I was looking into his eyes. “Hey, everything is going to be okay. I promise you.”
Looking at Nate, I saw the strength he put behind his words, and I felt it as his lips lightly brushed over mine before the intimate moment was broken by a sudden loudspeaker announcement. “Attention all passengers, Qantas Flight 112 leaving at 7:40 a.m. for Sydney, Australia is now boarding. Will all first and business class passengers please make your way to the check-in counter.”
Nate leaned his forehead against mine. “That’s us, baby.” He stood, pulling me up with him.
“No, wait, they said first and business class,” I started to say, but my words were instantly stopped by the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Wait. What? Please, tell me you didn’t book us first class seats.” Still smiling, he shook his head and led me to the check-in desk.
“Okay, I won’t tell you that, and I won’t tell you we’re in business class, either,” I stopped walking, causing him to stop, as well, and look at me.
“What?” he said, amused. “Look, if you think I am going to squash all six foot three inches of me into one of those tiny seats for nineteen plus hours, you’ve got another think coming. Besides, the first class seats were too far apart, and when I sleep, I like to be able to touch you.”
I gave him a playful slap on the chest. “If you think I am having sex in our seats, you have another think coming, mate.”
“Not in the seats, but maybe…”
“Not happening, don’t even think about it,” I said as I pulled him toward the check-in desk. We handed the hostess our b
oarding passes, and then made our way down the gangway and onto the plane. He was right, the seats were much more comfortable, and there was much more leg room, but I didn’t feel comfortable about the cost. Yes, I knew he could afford it, but I liked to pay my own way, and I would never pay that amount of money for a plane ticket.
“Stop,” I heard him say in a low growl.
“Stop what?”
“Stop overthinking about how much the tickets cost. I don’t give a damn, and besides, Paxton will have some sneaky way to write it off as a business trip or something.”
I gave him a weak smile, wondering how the hell he knew what I was thinking, then let out a defeated sigh. “Okay, I’ll stop.”
“Good, now buckle up,” he said, motioning to my seat belt.
With a smooth lift off, it wasn’t too long before we were served our evening meal, and I had to admit this business class seating was pretty good. A flight attendant with roving eyes came to clear away our trays, grabbing mine first so she had to lean over Nate, her boobs almost rubbing against his face. Looking at her through narrowed eyes and giving her a primal bitch look, her eyes widened when she saw my stare, and she pulled back quickly to offer Nate a huge smile.
“Would you care for a drink, sir?” she asked sweetly.
“Just some more water, please,” Nate said, smiling back at her.
“And a baseball bat,” I whispered under my breath as I turned to look out the window, making Nate cough to cover a laugh.
“What the hell, Casey, a baseball bat?” he said once the flight attendant left.
“Yeah, well I might need it to subdue her when she tries to molest you in your sleep.”
“Most flight attendants are over friendly. She’s just doing her job,” he said, making me turn my head sharply to look at him.
“Are you fucking kidding me? If she’s not standing around eye fucking you, she’s over here trying to rub her chest over you, Nate. She practically has drool on her chin,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest like an insolent child.
He stared at me for a moment, and then his lips twitched into a wide grin before he reached over the console that divided our seats and easily lifted me over it and onto his lap. “Nate,” I started to protest, but he stopped me with a soft touch of his thumb over my lips, then tucked my head under his chin. “What are you doing?” I hissed.
“Calming your jealous ass,” he said in a low tone.
“I’m not jealous,” I pouted as he kissed the top of my head.
“Okay, then I am going to keep you here on my lap so that she can plainly see that I only have eyes for you, and she doesn’t stand a hope in hell’s chance.”
“Now you’re just mocking me.”
“No, I just needed an excuse to touch you, and you gave it to me,” he said, running his hand up and down my back. His touch felt so good that I snuggled in closer to his warmth as he tilted his seat back a little, continuing to hold me against him.
Chapter Two
Nate
I felt the moment her body relaxed against mine and her breathing slowed to an even rhythm. She had fallen asleep, and she was exactly where I wanted her to be. I knew we had the fancy seats that lay flat into a bed, but I also knew that I would sleep perfectly fine with her in my arms. When the flight attendant walked past, I caught her attention, asked for a blanket, and covered Casey with it.
I wanted her warmth against me and for her to feel safe. I knew that over the past week, she had been putting on a brave front, shrugging off any talk of this trip, covering her anxiety with over-exaggerated excitement about seeing Flynn. I knew she was excited about seeing him—Flynn means a lot to her—but her actions felt almost scripted and animated with what she thinks will keep me pacified about this whole situation. And I had to admit that with everything that she had waiting for her over the coming week, the thought of her trying to protect and cushion me from it all just made me love her more…if that was even possible.
Stroking a hand down her back, I noticed the serene look she had on her face; one that was so different to the past few nights in bed. She had no idea that I had been watching her toss and turn as she was visited by her demons in her sleep, or how I tried to calm her without waking her by pulling her tightly into my body while whispering calming words into her hair. This past week was challenging, to say the least, so I was glad to see that she was finally getting some sleep.
I, on the other hand, had been doing some research on Max Sullivan—well, what little I could find on the prick—and also putting up with constant lectures from Paxton on how I needed to keep my temper in check and control myself, or how I am there for support, not vengeance.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, Paxton,” I said with exasperation, recalling the conversation we’d had over the phone on the way to the airport this morning.
“Look, I know you think I’m nagging you, Nate, but I know how you feel about Max Sullivan, and I also know what kind of trouble that could get you into.”
“Paxton, I don’t intend on getting into anything, okay? I promise I will behave myself. You just look after your girls, and I will take care of mine.”
“Fine, just call me when you get there,” he got out between what sounded like clenched teeth.
“I will. Talk to you later, Paxton,” I said before ending the call.
“Is he alright?” Casey asked.
“Yeah, he just likes to think he’s the older brother sometimes.”
“He cares about you, Nate.”
“I know, but damn. He’s been relentless this week,” I sighed in annoyance.
“That’s because he knows how much of a hot head you are.”
“Me? Hot Head?” I looked at her with a raised brow, making her smile.
“He’ll relax…eventually,” Casey said.
“Yeah, when we’re back in the States, he will.”
The last thought before I closed my eyes was of a frustrated looking Paxton, pacing the floor, waiting for me to call him as soon as we landed in Sydney.
Soft fingers ran over the rough stubble on my jaw, and when I opened my eyes, they were greeted by a pair of wide, but sleepy-looking, perfect blue ones.
“Hey,” she said in a whisper.
“Hey, yourself.”
“I was thinking that maybe I need to get into my own seat.”
I wrapped my arms around her a little tighter and said, “Nope, not happening.”
“Nate, it has to be uncomfortable for you, and besides, we keep getting funny looks from others.”
“Don’t care,” I grumbled into the top of her head. “And I can assure you, baby, I am very comfortable.”
“You are a stubborn man.”
“I know, but it always gets me what I want…right?”
I couldn’t see her face, but I knew that she was rolling those damn pretty eyes of hers as she finally relented, saying, “Okay, as long as you’re not cramped.”
“I told you before, I am perfectly fine. Now, go back to sleep and stop wiggling your ass against my groin or I will be taking you back to the bathroom so we can join the mile high club,” I chuckled and she groaned.
I had been teasing her all week about how I could not go for eighteen hours without being inside of her, and we would have to test out the size of the bathroom. This caused her to blush and make me promise not to even think about it or she was leaving me at home, and that was never going to happen, so I dropped the subject…for now.
Smoothing my hand up and down her back, she relaxed back into sleep, and I closed my eyes and went with her. She had been the only person in my life for so many years that I was able to relax and fall asleep with so fast. Fuck, she is the only person in my life besides my family that I love more than life itself, and I just want to get this shit over and done with, take her back to our paradise by the ocean, and keep her in bed permanentl
y. I never thought I would ever be able to say this before, but she is my life…she is my everything.
I must have slept really soundly because the next time my eyes opened, I had to squint from the brightness of the light and quickly became aware that Casey was no longer in my arms, just the blanket. Pulling my chair into an upright position, I stood and stretched out the kinks in my back while looking toward the bathroom at the back of the cabin. The smell of hot food permeated my nose, making my stomach grumble as I walked toward the bathroom on the other side. I needed to clean myself up and take care of business before I ate.
When I returned to our seats, Casey was sitting back on her side, with her face looking freshly washed and her hair pulled into a ponytail. Before dropping into the seat next to her, I leaned down across the console between us and cupped her cheek in my palm, placing a gentle kiss against her lips.
“Morning,” I whispered against her mouth.
“Good morning to you,” she whispered back.
“Did you sleep okay?”
“Yes, very well, and you?”
“Perfect,” I said as I smiled at her.
We spent the rest of the flight talking about our plans for the beach house when we got back and watching the in-flight movies. It was a long flight with only a three-hour layover at San Francisco at the beginning of the journey, and even then, I found that my muscles were starting to protest from being inactive for so long. I did try and stretch whenever I got up to use the bathroom, and I was starting to think that the people I passed by each time I went there must have thought I had some kind of bladder problem from the frequency, but what the hell, I am a big guy and I need my space. Well, except when I have Casey on me, that is.
While I was trying to get interested in the movie on the screen in front of me, I found myself watching her. She had her head leaned back into the headrest with earbuds in, listening to her iPod, and that had me a little worried because I knew that she used that thing as her stress relief, and even though she kept reassuring me that she’s fine…she’s not.
A tightening feeling in the pit of my stomach reminded me of how much I wanted—no, needed—to protect her from anything and everything no matter what the cost. The reality portion of my brain also reminded me that there were some things I wouldn’t be able to protect her from, but what I could do is be here for her and with her.