by J Grayland
Feeling clean and more human, I headed down to the office floor with my fingers crossed that Nate was close to finishing for the day. I hated leaving Chance at Jacaranda House all day by himself. Although he’d been great and hadn’t done anything yet, there was always a first time, plus it didn’t seem fair to him. He loved being around people. I did console my guilt by at least knowing that I would only be away for one or two days a week, though.
When the lift doors opened, there seemed to be a flurry of people everywhere. “What the fuck?” I said to myself as I headed to Nate’s office. Laura sat at her desk. “Is he in there?” I asked her, pointing to the large wooden doors.
“Yes, Miss Tyler. I’ll tell him you’re here,” she said, looking flustered as she picked up the phone, pressed a button, and announced my arrival. Hanging up, she said, “Go on in.”
“Thanks,” I said as I pushed open the doors to a room full of chaos. There were several computers set up all over his office, and Paxton sat behind Nate’s desk, almost invisible behind the stack of files in front of him. Nate paced back and forth in front of the huge window, his phone pressed against his ear, his body rigid and tense as he took big strides across the room, then turned back to pace the same path. What the hell was going on? It had to be something bad because I had never seen Paxton ever look as worried as he looked right now. Walking over to Nate, he looked up and held up a finger, letting me know he would be off the phone in a minute.
“I don’t give a fuck, Tony, I need it done now!” he yelled into the phone before ending the call and tossing his phone on the desk.
“What’s going on?” I asked with concern.
Nate rubbed a hand down his face and closed his eyes. “The servers went down this morning, and we had a breach in the network.”
“What? How?” I asked in shock.
“No fucking idea. Some shithead hacker got in through a back door, I’m guessing,” he spat out.
“Did they get anything of importance?”
“We don’t think so. Paxton was able to shut everything down as soon as it was breached.”
“Jeez,” was the only thing I could say.
I think Nate noticed my zero knowledge of computers when he saw the clueless look I had on my face as I looked over at Paxton. Walking over to me, he slid a finger under my chin, tilting it up to face him. “We could be here for another couple of hours,” he said with a tinge of regret in his voice.
“That’s okay. I’ll go up to the penthouse and take a nap,” I said. “Unless you need my help with anything?”
“Are you okay?” he asked with concern as his eyes searched mine.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit tired. It was a pretty rough first day,” I said, smiling at him.
“I guess that answers my next question of how was your day, then.”
“Later. You get back to what you’re doing. You know where to find me,” I said as he leaned his head down, pressing his lips against mine. I walked out of the office and back up to the penthouse where I pulled out my iPod, slipped in the earbuds, stretched out on one of the black leather couches, and fell asleep listening to the soulful tones of Adele.
When Nate woke me from my slumber with soft kisses on my forehead, it was pretty late, and he looked so tired. I suggested that we should spend the night here and took a gamble that Chance wouldn’t eat anything other than the full bowl of food that I’d left him this morning, but Nate said he was fine, and he wanted to go home. It was actually nice to hear him say that because the penthouse had been his home for so long.
On the drive back, Nate went over what had happened with the breach in the network and how Paxton and their tech guy, Tony, had locked down the system until they could repair any damage to the firewalls and get it back up and running before investigating who was responsible. Looking over at him, I could see his whole body was wrecked with fatigue. The creases in his forehead seemed much deeper than normal, and I wondered if there might be more to this than he was telling me. But when I pressed him a little, he was unsure of what the culprits were looking for. Still, it didn’t change the fact that he needed to find out. Then he changed the subject and asked me about my day. Not wanting to bore him to sleep in his depleted state, I kept it brief and light until we pulled up outside the front door to a barking dog and the sound of him furiously scratching at the door.
Once the door was open, and he rushed past us, I instructed Nate to go take a shower and get into bed. With a slight reluctance, he did because by the time I got into the bedroom, he was laying on his back with one arm slung across his eyes. A soft, exhausted snore slipped from between his lips. Sliding in next to him, I snuggled into his side, draping an arm over his waist and for a while, I just lay there, listening to the gentle rhythm of his breathing and feeling the rise and fall of his chest.
When I woke the next morning, the space next to me was empty. Rolling over, I ran my hand over the space that still felt a little warm, so I got up and walked down into the kitchen. The large, glass tri-fold doors were pushed back, letting in a subtle ocean breeze. As I walked to the opening, I could see the blue sky with not a cloud in sight. Stepping out onto the deck, I spotted Chance running at the edge of the water, playing his usual game, which included biting aimlessly at the frothy waves as they rolled in and retreated back into the ocean. Nate was sitting on the top step, still dressed in his sleep pants and nothing else. I watched as his winged man tattoo that was spread over his entire back flexed and moved as he lifted a mug of coffee to his mouth and took a sip while he watched Chance and his antics with a faint smile. His strong profile was shadowed with not only a dark few days beard growth, but something more. He looked relaxed, but in a tense way, if that could even be possible. His black, tousled hair was picked up by the breeze, and I couldn’t help but stand behind him and stroke it.
“Hey,” I said, running my fingers through his hair.
“Good morning,” he said, reaching a hand up to take mine and guide me to sit next to him on the step.
“Did you sleep alright?” I asked, placing my palm against the side of his face.
“I slept like a log,” he said, grinning at me.
“You looked beat.”
“Yeah, well, it was a hard day,” he said, taking another sip of his coffee.
“And what about today?” I asked.
“Today is a new day.”
“So you fixed the problem?”
“Yeah, we did, thankfully,” he said with a sigh.
“Then what’s bothering you?”
“I don’t know, exactly,” he mused.
“Did they get anything important or anything detrimental to the business?”
“No, they didn’t have enough time to get into our system,” he said.
“Then what is it? Because something’s on your mind,” I said, and he turned to face me.
“I’m not sure. It’s just a gut feeling that something’s not right,” and I could see in his eyes that his mind had been working overtime while he slept.
“Have you talked to Paxton?”
“Yep, and he’s going to do his sniffer dog routine today. I gotta hand it to him, he is definitely the brains in the family.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, you’re a smart cookie,” I said, smiling at him.
“Nah, I’m just the muscle,” he chuckled.
“That’s a load of crap, and you know it. You are both very talented and intelligent men who make a great team.”
“And you’re biased,” he said, smiling.
“Give yourself some credit, and trust your gut instinct. You always have before,” I said before kissing his lips and standing. “Come on, let’s get some breakfast.”
Just over an hour later, Nate was showered, dressed, and fed, and had left for the office, looking happier than he had earlier. I hated seeing his stress this morning but I gu
ess when you run a large security company and someone hacks into your system, it must destabilize your own sense of security and force you into a deeper awareness. Knowing Nate’s need of control, I’d say this would have knocked him off kilter a little and unsettled him. I also knew that by the time he got back tonight, he would have that control firmly back in his hands.
Chapter Thirty-nine
Nate
On the drive into Portland, I was still wracking my brain, to make sense of the events that had happened yesterday, trying to think if I had missed anything. By the time I pulled into my parking space at King Security, I had nothing. Zero, zilch. So it seemed I had given myself a headache for nothing. As soon as I entered my office, I grabbed the box of Tylenol from the top drawer of my desk and popped out a couple of pills, throwing them back with a mouthful of water. Pushing my hands into the front of my jeans, I walked over to my view of the world below me, taking in the bustle of traffic and people as I inhaled deeply, trying to let my stress out with an exhale as I remembered what Casey had said before I left this morning. “Talk to Paxton.” My thoughts of those beautiful sapphire eyes of hers were interrupted by a knock on the door. “Yes,” I called out, and Paxton strolled in.
“I thought I told you to come in later today,” I said.
“I know, but I thought I might as well be here rather than stressing at home,” he said, sounding tired.
“I know the feeling, but there’s not much we can do about it now. Just make sure nothing was stolen and move forward.”
“Aren’t you the optimistic soldier this morning?” he said, grinning.
“Yeah, well, what can I say. It’s Casey’s influence,” I said, shrugging.
“Well, the good news is that nothing has been stolen, and the even better news is that Tony was up most of the night tracing the hack until he pinpointed the shithead.”
“Really?” I said, looking at him.
“Yeah, turns out it was just some wannabe hackers. Teenagers in Rochester. Apparently, they tried to get into a few different places.”
“Jesus, Paxton.” I breathed out a sigh of relief.
“I know, but it’s all good. Tony has been in contact with the local police there, and they’re investigating it. They’ll contact us when they press charges.”
“Yeah, thanks to you and Tony,” I said, sounding a little defeated.
“And by that you mean?” Paxton asked with a raised brow.
“It means you were awesome yesterday,” I said.
“So were you.”
“Not sure I was much help on the tech side of things, but I did do a lot of yelling,” I said, grinning at him.
“Hey, we work as a team,” Paxton said, walking closer to me.
“I know,” I said, turning to gaze out of the window again.
“Okay, what gives? What’s on your mind?” Paxton asked, now joining me to look out of the window.
“A few things,” I said wistfully.
“Like?”
“Like I’m lucky to have such a smart brother.”
“What, and you’ve only just realized that now?” Paxton gasped slapping a hand against his chest. “I’m hurt,” he said, mock pouting like a school girl, and it made me smile.
“You know what I mean. I’m not sure I would have handled it as well as you did yesterday.”
“Bullshit.”
“No, really. I mean it, take credit where it’s due.”
“Look, the only reason that we work,” he said, waving his hand between me and him, “is because I’m calm when it’s needed, and you’re tough when it’s needed. You might be lucky to have me, brother, but I am equally lucky to have you, okay?”
“I don’t know, Paxton,” I said, shrugging. “Maybe it’s been a little harder for me to transition back into to the office from the field than I thought it would be.”
“I’d say you’re transitioning just fine. Just give it time. We work well together, Nate, and that’s all that matters. Now, what else is one your mind?”
After a slight pause, I turned to look at Paxton. “I realized yesterday when we had to shut everything down that the first thought that came into my mind was not the security of our clients’ information like it probably should have been. I was thinking about the security of our families.”
“I agree, I had the exact same thought,” he said, nodding.
“You did?”
“Yep. Then I tried to rationalize with myself that a money hungry business owner maybe wouldn’t think that way, but that’s not what we are, thankfully,” he said, smiling.
“So whatever happens in the future, we agree that Lynda, Emily, and Casey’s security comes before business, right?”
“Absolutely, one hundred percent,” Paxton said, nodding.
“Good,” I said, knowing all too well that Paxton and I would always be on the same page where family was concerned.
“Okay, what else? Because I can see that brain of yours still ticking away.”
“I’m not sure. I just have this gut feeling that there’s more to this. Maybe I’m just overthinking things. I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head.
“Well, not wanting to burn your ego here, and normally I trust your gut, as well, but I can assure you everything is fine. It’s probably because for the last few years you’ve been on high alert to any inconsistencies or anything out of the ordinary. Plus, you’ve had a lot on your plate with Casey, so it’s understandable.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I told him.
“I am, but you can’t help your suspicious brain,” he said, grinning.
“Yeah, that’s me,” I agreed, relaxing more than I was on the drive in here, and glad I listened to Casey. It was humbling to realize that my little brother didn’t need me to protect him anymore, although if anyone touched him, I would still break every fucking bone in their body.
Chapter Forty
Casey
After Nate left, I tidied up and loaded the dishwasher. My phone rang just before lunch, and I answered it to a frazzled-sounding Lynda. “Hey, what’s up?” I asked.
“Casey, are you at home today?”
“Yes, why? Is everything okay?” I asked, slightly concerned with the urgency in her voice.
“Everything’s fine, I just need a huge favor.”
“Sure, what do you need?” I said, relaxing.
“Well, remember I told you about the little art gallery that opened up in Portland? The one on Irving Street?”
“Is that the one you sent some photos of your work to the other week?”
“Yes, that’s it. Well, they just called, and they would like to display a few of my pieces. They want me to drop them off today,” she said excitedly.
“That’s fantastic, Lynda! I am so proud of you.”
“Thanks! I’m pretty nervous, though.”
“Don’t be. Your work is incredible, so what can I do to help?”
“Well, Emily was up most of the night teething, and I just got her settled down.”
“Say no more, do you want me to come over?”
“No, I’ll drop her off there. The only thing that got her to sleep was putting her in her car seat, so I think it will be easier.”
“Okay, no problem.”
“Thanks, Casey, you are an angel. I should be there in about fifteen minutes,” she said before hanging up. Right on time, at fifteen minutes, she was knocking at the door with a sleeping Emily in her car seat and a bag full of baby goodies in the other, dressed impeccably in a black knee-length pencil skirt and a cream silk blouse. Opening the door. I took them from her, and she kissed my cheek.
“Thank you so much. Everything she needs is in the bag. I shouldn’t be too long.”
“She’ll be fine, take all the time you need. You look great,” I said as she turned away to head
back to her car. “Hey, you did remember to put the paintings in the car, right?” I giggled.
“Sure did,” she said, laughing. She waved as she took off down the driveway, and I took Emily into the living room and gently set the car seat down next to the couch. She looked totally worn out. Her eyes looked a little red and puffy, matching her flushed, chubby cheeks from an obviously tearful night.
“You poor baby,” I whispered to her before I put Chance out on the deck. I really didn’t want his enthusiasm for licking Emily’s face off like he normally did to disturb her while she was sleeping. Leaving the bedroom door wide open, so I had a clear view of her, I pulled some nice, crisp, clean sheets onto the bed and finished making it. Just as I placed the last of the pillows on the bed, my eyes drifted to the bedside table for a few moments before I sat down on the side of the bed. I continued to stare at it, picturing the diary that sat inside. My mind started waging war against itself again. If I left it in there, was I going to have this turmoil every time I looked at the bedside table? Yes, I was. Should I pull it out and throw it in the garbage? Yes, I should. Should I read the rest of it? No, absolutely not. It was only going to bring up things that didn’t deserve my time.
Was I not only talking to myself right now, but also answering myself back? Yep, I certainly was because having that thing in that drawer was essentially driving me insane. Therefore, I needed to get rid of it. Nodding at my final decision, I opened the drawer and pulled out the diary. With it clutched firmly in my hand, I walked to the kitchen and pressed the pedal on the trash can, opening the lid, intent on dropping it where it belonged. Then I paused long enough for my mind to say, Are you going to regret not finishing it? Taking in a long, deep breath and closing my eyes, I moved my foot, letting the trash can lid close and exhale with an accompanying, “Fuck,” from me. I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a cold bottle of beer. I took it and the diary to the couch, where I dropped onto it, tucking my legs underneath me and flipping the cap of the beer. Emily was still fast asleep. As I brought the bottle to my lips and took a long slug of the cold liquid, I opened the diary.