by Wood, Lauren
It wasn’t signed, but there was no doubt in my mind who the author was. Fuck!
Justin was coming back in and I warned him that I would fuck him up if he started again.
“No, I don’t want to fight. You lost her too. That’s worse than anything that I could do to you.”
His words cut me like a knife. I’d lost her again. Now I was the one that wanted to punch him. I knew that I wouldn’t, shouldn’t, but I sure the hell wanted to. He’d reminded me of something that I didn’t want to know. How the hell had I done it again? I thought of the little skank she was thinking of. I should have shooed her off sooner. Gemma must have showed up and no one saw her. I hadn’t, but it was clear that she’d seen me.
Justin and I just looked at each other. Neither one of us having anything to say really. We both knew that we’d messed up this time. I’d told myself that I wasn’t going to do it again, but I had failed miserably on that front.
“Fuck!”
Justin just looked at me and I could tell that he was feeling it too. Gemma was a woman that was hard to replace. I’d been trying for years without any success. I’d given up for that reason all together. I knew there was no point.
“Yeah, I feel you brother.”
Well at least Justin didn’t want to hit me again. I almost welcomed it so that I could hit him back, but it was just as well I supposed. He was my VP after all.
“So now what?”
I shrugged because I really didn’t know what to say. She was gone, and I didn’t know where. I could try her parents, but I doubted that she was there.
“I don’t know Justin. I guess we get back to the party and make sure that the chicks cleaned up. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow and we need to get some sleep.”
He’d been talking about Gemma, but I really couldn’t bare to think about it. I just knew for certain that nothing I did was going to matter. Gemma was out of range and I was going to have to figure out a way to get through to her, to explain that I hadn’t wanted Destiny on me. She knew how these girls were with the club. She had to know.
I got on my bike and started the engine, waiting for Justin to get on his. The cabin was empty, and it saddened me. I didn’t know what to do now. I’d lost the only woman I’d ever loved, again and I still didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t back then either. I’d realized quickly my mistake, but it had just been too late.
Riding back into town, I didn’t notice how fast I was going. I didn’t notice the cop sitting off on the side of the road. I cursed when I saw the red lights. If this was Matt, I swear that I was going to unleash all the anger that I had inside of me. I’d had enough, and he was about to get the brunt of it if he fucked with me.
Chapter 18
Gemma
I couldn’t go back to the cabin for long, so I wrote the note, grabbed my stuff up and went on the road. I thought about going to my parents, but it just wasn’t what I wanted to do. I had left young for a reason and I wanted to get out of there. It was all I could think about and when I saw the sign saying that I was leaving Hartford, I felt a smile on my face. I should have done this a while ago. I had an aunt that stayed in the next state over and I was going to go visit her. She was my favorite aunt, and no one would think to look for me there. If they did, she’d lie for me.
Frank called several times and I just ignored it. I turned off my phone for a while and when I turned it back on, I had several new messages. I didn’t know who they were from and I didn’t care. I didn’t listen to them. I just couldn’t because I didn’t want to let it get to me. I didn’t want to hear any more lies of love and affection from either one of them.
It wasn’t a good plan of course. I only had a couple hundred in cash from the night’s tips, though I did have a debit card. I didn’t have much in the way of clothes, but I had enough for now. I would worry about the rest of it later.
The drive was long, and it gave me time to think about everything. I’d gotten to this point where I knew that this was going to have to work itself out somehow.
When I got to Carol’s, I was relieved to get off the road. I hadn’t called my boss yet. I figured I would call her tomorrow and see if I could take a week or two off. I had to go back to Hartford of course. It was my home and now that I still had my things still at Justin’s, I was going to have to go back for that as well.
***
I enjoyed my time with Carol and spent the time rejuvenating. The future was so uncertain, but I was ready to get back to face reality. I had to confront Justin, get my things and find a place to live that wasn’t with my parents. I wasn’t even thinking about Frank. I had him stuck in a little compartment at the far back of my head, hoping that I would be able to figure it out later. Maybe I wouldn’t have to. He wouldn’t be here long. I know that he was setting up a chapter here, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t leave it with Justin later and go back to Texas. This was my hope anyways.
Going back home was foreign. It didn’t feel like home anymore for some reason. I’d enjoyed my time away and maybe it was a little too much. My whole life had been spent in this tiny town. Maybe it was time for a change.
The first place I went to was work. I had a shift that I had to take care of and while I was there, I planned to get with Justin so that I could get my things. He answered after one ring and I was a little shocked out of words. I’d hoped for a message or something, then I could have him leave a message and I would get back to him. I still wasn’t looking forward to seeing him.
“Hey Gemma. I’ve been trying to call you for two weeks.”
“Yeah sorry. I just turned my phone off for a while. I needed time to think.”
“About us?”
“About everything. I need to come get my things tonight. Are you going to be around?”
“You don’t have to do this. I don’t want you to leave.”
“I won’t be cheated on.”
“What about you and Frank? I went up to the cabin and found the note.”
That was another surprise.
“He told me that you knew about Sandra. I wanted to tell you, but you wouldn’t see me at the bar.”
“Of course, he told you. You guys are all alike. I don’t want to talk about this Justin. I just need my clothes and I will leave you be.”
“That’s not what I want.”
I closed my eyes and tried to collect myself.
“It’s what is happening. So, can I come by tonight and get them or are you having another rager?”
“No, I don’t think the club is going to happen here. There’s just been too much going on since you’ve been gone. Most have already gone back to Texas.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that Frank got arrested with the shipment and he’s about to be sent to county after his court date tomorrow. The bail won’t be met.”
I never knew all the details, but I could only imagine that the shipment wasn’t going to be a good one. The club wasn’t into legal activities and I didn’t know what to say.
“Oh. No one can come up with bail?”
“No one wants to sign the agreement because we all know he’s going to take off. There’s no way that he’s going to jail here, so it will come back on the signature.”
I couldn’t believe that. Out of all those people, no one would step forward? I thought that at least Justin would, considering, though now knowing that he knew about us, I could see where a riff may have been made. I didn’t blame it either of course.
“What about all the guys from Texas?”
“They can’t because they’re out of state.”
“And you won’t because?”
“I could lose the house. It’s been in my family a long time. I can’t.”
I was speechless, and I felt bad for Frank. Maybe he should have stayed away. It didn’t seem to be working out with him here. It was too much going on and I wasn’t sure where it was all going to land.
“Okay well, I
need my things. I don’t have much, so I can be in and out in a few minutes. Are you going to be home?”
He said that he was going to be, and I got off of the phone with him pretty quickly because I knew that he wanted to get into it all. I was hoping that he would see that it was better to leave it mainly unsaid and to move on. It’s what needed to happen at the moment and I wasn’t going to argue. I just wanted to move on. I’d been thinking about what was next and now I really wasn’t sure. I felt bad for Frank. I wanted to go see him, even though I knew that it would be a problem. He was the one that was going to break me, but the idea of just leaving him there was not something that I wanted to do. I had to go see him at the very least.
After work, I went to Justin’s and it was about how I thought it would be. He was emotional, wanted to hash it all out, explain everything and I wanted to move on. Maybe he was right, and I didn’t care enough, I don’t know, but I was passed the stage of being upset. I had been at first, even if I tried to drown it all, but now I knew that it was for the best.
The next stop was the jail. If Matt wouldn’t have been there, I wouldn’t have been able to see him. It wasn’t near visiting hours, but I wanted to see if I could find out what was going on. Matt wasn’t happy to see me, asking me where I’d been.
“I went to stay at a family member’s house for a while. I just got back into town.”
“And you’re here?”
“Yeah, I hear you have one of my friends in here again.”
“Not just a little ticket that you can get him out of this time. He was found with a lot of guns. Guns Gemma.”
I shook my head. “Yeah, I heard.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“It is what it is. So, what’s going on with his bail?”
“Money is there, just no one will sign for him. That should tell you something. His own mother won’t.”
I smiled and chuckled a little. “Yeah, I bet she’s mad at him for getting caught.”
Matt just shook his head. He had to know the family, to know them. His mom was something else and she would be upset that he’d been stupid enough to get caught, far more than the possession of a few assault rifles.
“That should tell you all that you need to know right there.”
“Well who do I got to go to for the bond? Is it Easman?”
He agreed and asked me why I wanted to know. “Don’t do it Gemma, he will destroy your life. If they find out that you know where he is or try to hide him, they will take you to jail too. Do you really want to go to jail for a piece of shit like Frank?”
I didn’t think of him that way, but I didn’t say a word otherwise. I was just going to have to let it play out and Matt could think what he wanted.
“That may be Matt, but I need that information and to see Frank.”
He just shook his head at me. “You know, I’m the one that should be threatening to call Anna. There is no way that she would let you do this without giving you shit for it.”
“Yea? I know. But let’s not do it, okay?” She was the last voice of reason that I needed to hear right now. It was hard enough to worry about everything else, but I knew that something was going to come up later about it, most likely when he jumped bail and went back to Texas.
I was nervous to see Frank and I tried to stop the trembling in my hands. He always did this to me and the more I tried to fight it, the more I realized how impossible it all was to do. I loved Frank, always would, no matter what and I couldn’t stand to see him locked up.
Matt led me back to the cells and told me that I had five minutes. He was acting gruff, but we both knew that I would take as long as I wanted to. He was acting that way because of Frank. I knew that Matt was a big softie, but Frank rubbed him raw. He wasn’t the only one.
“What are you doing here? I didn’t think I would see you again.”
“Yeah, well, there you are in here again. I just got back in town and heard about your arrest.”
He grinned ruefully. “I don’t think Hartford is ready for a MC right now.”
“I bet. I don’t think they are ever going to let it happen, not on Matt’s watch. I want to say that he had a friend or a family member that was in one. Something happened. It’s all fuzzy at the moment, but he has a real dislike for the lifestyle.”
“I can see that. So, what do I owe the pleasure? Are you here to rub it in?”
I frowned a little because he thought that of me.
“No, I thought you would need a signature to get out of here. If you push back your date a little bit, it won’t be too hard to get some time to figure things out.”
That had him standing up. “You’d do that for me?”
I nodded that I would.
“Why?”
I sighed and wondered the same thing myself. It was hard to say really. There were many reasons, but only one resonated so loudly.
“Because I love you Frank and I always will. I’d rather see you on the run, then here in jail.”
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to hear that?”’
“Well that’s the last time you will. I know you’re going to go. I’ll deal with the blowback.”
“No, if I still have a chance with you, I’ll stay here and see it through. I’ll get some time, but not too much. I’ll be out before you know it.”
“Really?” Why did I melt when I heard that?
“Yes, I’ve always loved you. That was the problem. You scared me, but life without you is far worse than a little fear.”
“What about the blonde skank?”
“She was there, pawing on me and I finally had to tell her off. You know that I don’t want any of them. They aren’t you and you’re the only one that I want.”
I started to say something several times, but I wasn’t sure what it was. How did I describe how I felt inside?
“Come here?”
“What?”
“Just come here and stop being so hard headed.”
I moved forward, and he pulled me to him, kissing me through the bars. It wasn’t as romantic and free as I would have hoped, but it was what I needed. This man made me feel brand new and damn if I could fight it. I just couldn’t.
Chapter 19
Frank
Two Years Later
I was nervous, rolling out of the gates of the jail. It had been almost twenty-two months since I went in and I was finally out. I took a plea down to a lesser time and watched my P’s and Q’s when I was in jail. I was out early for good behavior and I was ready to get home. A lot of things had happened since I left and though I never wanted to go to jail and I’d wanted to prolong it as much as possible, when we found out that Gemma was pregnant, there was nothing to do but get it done and over with. My thinking was that maybe Cassandra wouldn’t remember.
I hadn’t seen her since she was born, not wanting Gemma to take her to the jail and today was the day. I don’t know if I was more worried to see her or to see Gemma. Either way, I was nervous as hell and when the sun finally hit me, I shielded my eyes and looked out into the parking lot. I saw Gemma and she was holding our daughter.
Walking up to them, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. Everything that I wanted was right there and I knew that Gemma would wait for me. We had a lot to do and a lot of good times ahead of us, I was sure of it. Promises to them both included that I would keep my nose clean and never go to jail again. I meant it too. I’d pick Gemma and Cassandra over and over again. It was hard to stay clean in jail, but I had and now I was out.
Gemma hugged me as I got closer and I could see our daughter was eyeing me.
“This is your daddy, Cassie.”
She looked at me and I had to wonder what was going through her mind. Her eyes were so expressive, and I wanted to hold her, but I didn’t want to scare her. She already looked so much like her mother and she had had my eyes. She was perfect and when she reached for me, my heart couldn’t take anymore.
<
br /> I was not a man of emotions, not usually, but there was something about the way she said daddy and looked up at me. I knew then that I was just as in love with her as I was with Gemma.
“She’s perfect.”
She looked at me as if she knew. Of course, she did.
“You ready to get out of here?”
I was, but I wanted to hold Cassie for another moment before we put her into the back seat. There was a lot that was going through my head and I knew that there was a long road ahead of us, but as long as I had my girls, I knew that everything was going to be okay. I was sure of it for some reason.
Gemma put the baby up and she got into drive. I didn’t have my license at the time. It was just one of many things that had to be fixed, but I was going to take it one night at a time. Tonight, I had my mind on something that we hadn’t done in a long time. I was ready for Gemma, more than ready and at the moment, it was the only thing that I could think about.
She took my hand as we pulled out of the parking lot and I promised myself that I would never be back.
“Are you ready to go home?”
I nodded that I was. We lived at the cabin now and I was thankful that Gemma was here. I just couldn’t stop looking at her.
“What?”
“Nothing baby. I’ve just missed you so damn much.”
She kissed me again. “I’ve missed you too baby. We both have.”
***
“She’s finally down for the night.”
“Good. That means that we can have some grown-up time.”
I was back from visiting some family. Gemma had insisted because she knew if I didn’t go, there would be a lot of family here at the cabin and I didn’t want that. It would be hard to get rid of them and I wasn’t trying to see them for long.
Gemma was in the kitchen, washing dishes from dinner and she looked beautiful. I was leaning against the doorframe, just watching her and I knew that if I ever left her again, it was going to be when I was dead. I never wanted to leave her side again. I just couldn’t.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Is my hair all messed up?”