The Top Secret Toys

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The Top Secret Toys Page 4

by Tim Kehoe


  “Hey!”

  Vincent looked around, but didn’t see anyone.

  “Hey, drop it. Hey! Up here!”

  Vincent looked up to see a man hanging out of a second-story window of the Carlisle.

  “Hi. Is this—” Vincent started to say.

  “THROW IT!” the man yelled.

  Vincent looked down just as the last of the string was sucked inside the tube. And then—KABOOM!

  Vincent threw the tube, but it was too late. It exploded with the force of twenty-five water balloons.

  “Yikes! Sorry about that,” the man said, disappearing inside the window.

  Vincent took his glasses off and wiped them on his shirt. But it was pointless. His shirt was soaked. His pants were soaked. He bounced up and down on his toes; even his shoes had standing water in them.

  The front door of the Carlisle flew open and a gray-haired man wearing a Beatles T-shirt ran out.

  “Oh, dude! Wow, it really worked. Look at you, you’re soaking wet! Cool!”

  “Excuse me?” Vincent said.

  “Oh, man, I mean, I’m really sorry. I didn’t see you there until it was too late. I tried to warn you, though.”

  “No problem.”

  “Wow, look at you, though. You gotta admit it was pretty impressive.”

  “Yeah, I guess so,” Vincent replied.

  “You’ve heard of firecrackers, right? I call these Watercrackerz. Just fill them up, pull the string, and run. See, it’s the last part you should’ve known about. The running part.”

  “Yeah.” Vincent was holding his arms straight out at his sides like a scarecrow when Calli Callosum, Howard’s longtime personal assistant, came running up the sidewalk.

  “Oh, my. Vincent, what happened to you?” Calli asked.

  “Vincent?” the man asked. “Oh, no! Dude, you’re Vincent Shadow?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh, no. I just totally soaked the contest winner,” the man said to Calli.

  “Oh, Vincent. I’m so sorry. Fayman has a way of getting ahead of himself.”

  “It’s no problem,” Vincent said.

  “Yeah, sorry again. I’m Fayman,” he said, extending his hand to Vincent. “I’m the resident physicist-turned-toy-inventor here. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Howard has said so much about you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” Vincent shook Fayman’s hand.

  “Well, come on in and we’ll get you dried off,” Calli said. “And then I’ll give you a tour of this crazy place.” She led the way inside the Carlisle. The lobby was cluttered with boxes and crates.

  “Please forgive the mess,” Calli said. “Mr. Whiz attended an auction last week and picked up some more memorabilia.”

  “Yeah, you’ll get used to the maze of boxes,” Fayman said. “Sometimes I’m not sure if this is a toy company or a museum dedicated to crazy dead inventors.”

  “FAYMAN!” Calli scolded.

  “Okay. Okay. That’s my cue. It was nice to meet you, dude. I look forward to working with you.”

  “You’ll have to excuse Fayman. These have been difficult times for all of us.” Calli threw her jacket on top of a box. “How much do you know about Whizzer Toys, Vincent?”

  “Well, I’ve been a big fan of Mr. Whiz and his toys my whole life. I use to live just a couple of blocks from here and walked by this building every day. But I had no idea this was the Whizzer Toys building.”

  “I’m not surprised. Mr. Whiz likes to keep a low profile. Come on, we’ll start the tour on the second floor.” Calli motioned to the grand staircase in the front lobby. “How old are you, Vincent?”

  “Eleven.”

  “Well, Howard wasn’t much older than you when he started Whizzer Toys. He was just eighteen.”

  “Wow.”

  “Whizzer Toys has been around for over sixty years. In that time, Whizzer has manufactured over twelve hundred different toys. All of them invented by Howard.”

  “Twelve hundred?” Vincent was shocked. He had lots of toy ideas, but nowhere near twelve hundred. He had fifty—maybe fifty-five, tops.

  “Yes. Howard invents all the toys. But he definitely has help getting them out. I think you’ll find we have a small but amazingly talented group of people here at Whizzer. And I think you’ll fit right in.” Calli looked back and smiled at Vincent. Vincent wished he shared her confidence.

  Calli stopped at the top of the stairs. “This is the main ballroom. We don’t eat in here much any more. It’s used mostly for special occasions.” She continued walking. “The Carlisle has been in Howard’s family for two generations. He moved in shortly after his father died. And it has been home to the Whizzer Toy Company ever since. For over forty-three years now. The first floor is mainly used for shipping and receiving these days. As you saw, we get a lot of packages. This floor houses the ballroom, the kitchen, the patent library, the chemistry lab, and some of the most impressive invention collections in the world.”

  “The Room of Firsts?” Vincent asked.

  Calli looked shocked. “Yes, the Room of Firsts. Howard’s private invention museum. How did you know that?” she asked.

  “I, ah, accidentally stumbled upon it looking for the bathroom the night before the contest.”

  “Oh, yes. The night of the accident. I felt so terrible about that. In all the years of holding the contest, we’ve never had that happen. What a terrible accident,” Calli said.

  “Yeah,” Vincent said. “Accident.” But Vincent knew better. He was sure the Spinowskis had broken his windless kite on purpose.

  “Well, all’s well that ends well, I always say. Where was I, now?”

  “The Room of Firsts.”

  “Oh, yes. The Room of Firsts. A wonderful collection. The third floor has Fayman’s physics lab, the model shop, and Grunt’s computer lab.”

  “Grunt?” Vincent interrupted.

  “Oh, yes. Grunt is a genius with computers and electronics. He used to work for NASA. Apparently he even helped put a man on the moon! Let’s see, what else is on the third floor? Ah, the pottery room, complete with a walk-in kiln, and the metal shop.”

  “Metal shop?”

  “Yes. Fayman uses it to fabricate little gears, parts, and whatnots.”

  “Does it have a blowtorch?” Vincent asked.

  “Yes, I believe it has several.”

  “Cool.” Vincent smiled.

  “The fourth floor is the safe and the fifth floor—”

  “The fourth floor is a safe?” Vincent interrupted again.

  “Yup. Howard had the entire floor converted into a fireproof, burglarproof, storm-proof, waterproof, whatever-proof—safe. We’re told it is the largest safe in the world. Although I’ve never seen it. To tell you the truth, I’m not even sure how to get to it.”

  Vincent wondered why Howard would need such a large safe. He wanted to ask her what she thought was in it. Money? Toys? Inventions? Gold? But instead, he nodded his head as if he understood the need for the world’s largest hidden safe.

  They stopped in front of the Room of Firsts.

  “Normally I would take you through the room, but since you already saw it, maybe we’ll just continue on upstairs?”

  “I could spend all day in there,” Vincent said, looking in through the door. Hundreds of inventions lined the walls of the room. The first wooden Pogo Stick invented by George Hansburg in 1919. The first Joy Buzzer invented by Soren Sorensen Adams in 1928. And Silly Putty, invented by James Wright in 1943. Then Vincent noticed the red velvet curtain hanging from the ceiling. He had forgotten about the mysterious Tesla invention hidden behind the curtain.

  “Ms. Callosum, can I ask you a question?”

  “Oh, please call me Calli. Sure, go ahead. I’ll do my best to answer it, but if it’s about one of these inventions you may need to ask Howard.”

  “Oh. Okay. I’ll wait and ask Howard.” But Vincent had already asked Howard what was behind the curtain. Howard hadn’t answered him.

&n
bsp; “Well, if you’re sure, then let’s keep moving. Where was I?”

  “The giant safe,” Vincent offered.

  “Yes, the fourth floor is the safe. The fifth floor—oh boy, the fifth floor. Do you know many artist types, Vincent?”

  “Yes. Actually my mom was an artist. And my dad has worked in museums my entire life. He was the assistant director at the Met, until recently.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah. But he left when they hired a new director. Now he’s the director of a museum in Minnesota.”

  “Oh, well, then you fully understand the, the artist mentality. The fifth floor is home to Earl and Royal. Earl is a poet who writes all the copy for the Wondrous Whizzer Wishbooks. He also names all the toys. Royal Ducati is our resident artist, and he—”

  “Royal Ducati? As in the Royal Ducati who illustrates the Furious Jones comic books?”

  “One and the same. Are you a fan of Royal’s work?”

  “A huge fan. I have the first edition of every single Furious Jones.”

  “Well, Royal does all the art for the Wishbooks… when he’s not drawing Furious Jones,” Calli said.

  “Wow.” Vincent couldn’t believe he was about to meet Royal Ducati.

  Calli opened the door to the third floor. “They’re both very nice men, and they do amazing work, but they rarely see eye-to-eye. Together, they’re responsible for the creation of the Wondrous Whizzer Wishbooks.

  “They’ve created twenty Wishbooks over the years. Each one a spectacle of invention, story, and art. The Smithsonian even has an entire collection of Wishbooks in its archives. But it’s never easy. They’re fire and water, those two.” Calli stopped. “And the sixth floor is Howard’s private residence.”

  She suddenly looked serious. “I think you’ll find Whizzer Toys to be a fun place to work. We have a good time around here, and don’t have many rules. In fact, there is only one rule. No one is allowed on the sixth floor. No one.”

  “Okay,” Vincent said.

  “I’ve never even been up there in all these years. That’s Howard’s and Howard’s alone.”

  “Sure. No problem.”

  “Hey, sport.” Fayman walked up behind Calli. “Check it out.” He handed Vincent a football. “It’s one of our newest inventions.”

  Vincent immediately dropped it.

  “Oh boy, I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t break it.” Vincent bent down to pick it up. But he couldn’t. The ball popped out of his hand. Embarrassed, he knelt down and tried to scoop it up with both hands. Fayman started laughing.

  “Okay, okay. That’s enough,” Calli said. “Fayman is working on one of our newest novelty balls, the Fumble/Fumble Football. There is no way for you to grab that ball, Vincent.”

  “Unless you know the secret.” Fayman winked at Vincent, reached down, and picked up the football, no problem.

  “Awesome! I would love to show that to my friends at my old school. It would be so much fun to watch Jeff Benz drop the ball every time.” Vincent smiled at the thought of the six-foot sixth grader unable to catch a football.

  “Well, the way things are going around here, that’ll be a while,” Fayman said as he walked back into his lab.

  “You’ll have to excuse Fayman. Again. He’s been a little frustrated lately. It’s been a while since we put out a new Wishbook,” Calli said.

  “So why don’t you?”

  “At the moment, we don’t have enough toys for a Wishbook. We like to have about fifty new toys in each Wishbook.”

  “How many do you have?” Vincent asked.

  “Ten. We only have ten new toys since the last Wishbook was published three years ago.”

  “Well, you can have my Pop Tunz and windless kite… if it helps,” Vincent offered.

  “That’s very kind, Vincent. Now we’re up to twelve.” Calli smiled and started walking down the hall. Vincent followed. He was curious.

  “How long does it take Mr. Whiz to invent fifty toys?”

  “Well, in the old days Howard could invent fifty toys a year.” She laughed. “Sometimes fifty toys a month. There was a time that we couldn’t keep up with all of his ideas. But Howard has slowed down quite a bit in the last couple of years.” Calli stopped walking and turned toward Vincent.

  “Howard and I always start our day by eating breakfast together at seven-thirty sharp. We used to use the time to review his latest inventions and decide which toys to build first. There were mornings when Howard would come downstairs with two or three new inventions that he had whipped up in the middle of the night. But for the last couple of years we just eat breakfast. Then Howard goes back upstairs. Or he spends the day tinkering in the Room of Firsts. He still shows up every morning at seven-thirty sharp, but he hasn’t brought an invention down in over a year now.”

  Vincent thought about his old attic lab and his notebooks full of ideas. With Fayman’s help, he was sure they could make enough toys for a new Wishbook. His eyes watered as he remembered Danger Boy on the news. He had to get his inventions back. And fast.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so gloomy. Everything will be fine. Howard is an amazing man and I’m sure he still has enough ideas in him to fill several more Wondrous Whizzer Wishbooks. Hey, let’s go upstairs and introduce you to Royal and Earl.”

  They climbed two flights of stairs to the fifth floor.

  “That’s strange,” Vincent thought. There wasn’t even a door to the fourth floor. How did Mr. Whiz get to the safe? And how was it possible that Calli didn’t even know where it was, after all these years?

  Calli opened the door to the long hallway on the fifth floor.

  “Royal? Earl? I want you to meet someone,” Calli yelled.

  No one answered. They walked down the hallway and Calli poked her head into a couple of offices.

  “It looks like they’re not here. Well, you’ll have to meet them later,” Calli said as she pointed to an office. “Here you go. You can use this office.”

  Vincent looked in and saw a large wood desk covered with toys.

  “My own office?” he asked.

  “Yup. It’s all yours. Why don’t you get settled in and I’ll go see if I can find those guys. Feel free to look around.”

  Vincent took a few minutes to organize the toys on his desk. And then he spent most of the day in the Room of Firsts.

  Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

  Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

  “Hey, Aunt Bonnie? I think the phone is ringing,” Vincent said.

  “Oh, no, dear. That bird of yours is just trying to trick us. He’s been doing it all night, haven’t you—you little dickens.” Aunt Bonnie poked her finger in the cage. Nikola used her finger to scratch his head.

  Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

  Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

  “I really think it’s the phone,” Vincent said, trying to sound as polite as possible.

  “Did you know that this bird of yours can tell jokes? Oh my goodness. He told me a knock-knock joke while you were in the other room. Now, let’s see… how did it go?”

  Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

  Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

  Vincent got up from the couch and walked to the phone.

  “Hello? Hello?” He had missed the call.

  “I told you, it’s this amazing bird of yours,” Aunt Bonnie said while singing Pretty bird. Pretty bird toward Nikola. “You know your uncle Ernie always wanted a parrot. Or was it a falcon?”

  Ring, ring. Ring—

  Vincent grabbed the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, buddy. How’s it going? How was your first day on the big job?”

  Vincent didn’t realize how homesick he was until he heard his dad’s voice.

  “Hi, Dad! It was pretty good.”

  “Did you guys make any great new inventions today?”

  “No, not really. I just kind of met everyone. And got set up. They gave me my own office, though.”

  “Wow! Look at you. Eleven
years old and you’ve already got your very own office. I’m proud of you. Soon you’ll be running the place.”

  “I don’t know about that, Dad.”

  “How is your Aunt Bonnie doing?” Norton asked.

  Vincent looked over at Aunt Bonnie. She had Nikola out of his cage and was rubbing his belly.

  “She’s good. Everything is good.”

  “Knock-knock. Knock-knock,” Aunt Bonnie said to Nikola.

  “Just a minute, Vincent, Stella wants to talk to you,” Norton said.

  “Hey, Vincent. How’s it going in the Big Apple?” Stella asked.

  “Pretty good. Kind of a weird day.”

  “Did you tell Howard about the sketches?” Stella asked.

  “No. Luckily I didn’t see him today.”

  “What did they have you doing?”

  “Nothing, really. I just kind of got a tour and met everyone.” Vincent said. “Oh yeah, you know those Furious Jones comics books I like? Well, guess what? Royal Ducati, the guy who draws them, works at Whizzer Toys!”

  “Really? Wow! Small world.”

  “Yeah, he does all the illustrations for the Wishbooks. When he’s not doing that, he does the Furious Jones stuff. I got to meet him today. He was pretty cool.”

  “That’s cool. It sounds like it wasn’t too bad,” Stella said.

  “No. It was fine. But I’m not looking forward to seeing Howard.”

  “I’m sure it will be okay. Is that Nikola I hear in the background?” Stella asked.

  “No. That’s Aunt Bonnie.”

  Since their inception, over three hundred million Wishbooks have been printed in sixty-seven languages. The Wishbook has become part of the American landscape, treasured by children of all ages around the world. And Vincent Shadow was certainly no exception.

  Once word got out that a new Wondrous Whizzer Wishbook was coming, Vincent would check the mailbox daily. How big would it be? How many toys would it have? How many boy toys? And which of the new inventions would Howard feature on the cover? The Wishbook always featured the most amazing of the new toy inventions on the cover. And they were always drawn in Royal’s famous retro-futurist comic style. It was Howard’s goal that his catalog be as entertaining as his toys. And it was.

 

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