by G J Ogden
He looked up at Summer, her clenched fists still pressed into the table, unable to contain the anger that was now spilling out of her in the direction of Maria Salus, as if this woman alone was responsible for the billions that had died. For the death of her own mother. As if by pushing her away, by hurting her, it would somehow make up for everything that had happened. Ethan resolved there and then not to allow it. He would stand up for the strangers, even if no-one else would. It was his responsibility. And, perhaps, somewhere along the way, they would help him find the meaning he still desperately needed. He had to believe that was possible, because he had to believe in something.
Ethan stood up and turned to face Summer, his back to Maria. He tried to inch her away from the table, to cut them off from each other, so that Summer would focus on him, and not her anger. He reached out and held Summer’s shoulders, and looked into her eyes. “Hey, Summer, back off,” he said calmly, assertively. “These people weren't even born when The Fall happened. They came looking for our help.”
Summer looked back at Ethan with an expression that was a mixture of surprise and disgust. She firmly pushed Ethan away and took three paces backwards, leaving a clear gap between them. Her fists remained clenched at her sides, but her dagger-like stare had returned to Maria. She did not want to meet Ethan's eyes, because she knew he would douse the rage she felt, and she still wanted to feel it. She wanted to direct all her anger at this woman. Ethan would calm her, and Summer knew it. He had that power.
“I don't want to help them,” Summer said bitterly, still looking at Maria. “I don't want them here at all.” Then she dared to look at Ethan, her resolve set. “All of this, it means nothing,” she said, shaking her head. “What does it matter how it happened? The planet is still dead.”
“They didn’t kill it, Summer,” said Ethan, trying to reason.
“It makes no difference,” said Summer, not understanding why Ethan had jumped to the defence of these strangers. Her anger was now directed at him. “They are not like us,” she continued. “We owe them nothing! Let them solve their own problems, like we’ve had to.”
Ethan tried again to move closer but Summer recoiled. He held a hand out towards her, hating that she was distancing herself from him, but hating more that he empathised with what she was saying, but was choosing to set himself against her. “Pushing them away won’t change anything either,” pleaded Ethan. “Okay, I admit it, this is not the answer I’d hoped for. And maybe I was wrong to bring them here, to convince you to go looking for them with me. But it’s done, and I will not turn my back on these people now.”
Summer recoiled. “But you’d turn your back on us? On me?” she said, aghast. “How many more have to die for your quest, Ethan? When will you accept that there are no answers? There is just this life. It’s just us. We have to stick together.”
“We survived by helping each other,” said Ethan, upset that Summer had used Dorman’s death against him. She knew Ethan well enough to predict the guilt and shame he would be feeling over the Ranger’s death, and by bringing it up, publicly, she meant to hurt him. “You’re just angry,” Ethan continued, feeling the anger swelling within himself. “I know you; you wouldn’t abandon someone in need. That’s not who you are.” He was pushing now; he wanted to force her to see his point of view by challenging her own sense of pride and honour. But Summer was in no mood to be manipulated.
“I know who I am, Ethan,” she said, defiantly, “and I know you, better than you know yourself. I’m telling you now, none of this… this childlike pursuit to find your angels – it won’t bring them back.” Now it was Ethan who recoiled. His stomach twisted into knots and he felt sick. “Your parents are dead,” Summer continued, callously. “It was senseless, and that’s just the way it is. No flash of light across the sky will make it any different. No mystical truth. It’s time you dealt with it!”
Ethan dropped his head and stared aimlessly at the ground, words escaping him. Summer did know him well; better even than Katie. Ethan had confided in her, as one of the few people – perhaps even the only person – that he trusted and connected with. And now she was using it against him. But worse than this, she was right. “Summer, I…” Ethan tried to speak, but faltered.
Summer knew she had struck him hard by bring up his parents’ death, and instantly regretted what she had said. Guilt stabbed inside her, but she was still too angry, too proud, to take it back. She hated that Ethan could not be happy in the settlement, with this life, with her. She wanted to hurt him, to make him see her pain and anger. It would be easier than telling him what was really in her heart. Part of her wanted to say sorry, to run over and hold him, to tell him she loved him, and that he should live in the now, with her, and stop looking to the stars. She wanted to be the light that fills the void a meaningless death leaves behind. She wanted to heal him, but she could not. So instead, she would hurt him.
“‘I’? ‘I’, Ethan? Forget about yourself for one moment!” Summer would not let him speak, would not let him get to her. There was no way back now, she had committed. “What about Elijah? Elijah needs you! Does he matter less than these strangers? What about your sister, should she lose someone else she loves because of your obsession? You should be ashamed of yourself!”
“Summer, please!” Ethan implored. But she would not be placated, not this time.
“No, I've had enough of this!” she spat. “I’ve had it with not being enough, so go! You’re more like them than us anyway,” and she pushed past him and ran out of the room before Ethan could have a chance to stop her, to make her relent.
“Summer, wait!” Ethan called after her, but she was gone. He ran after her, desperate for her to understand, to tell him he was right. That he should help them, and she would help them too. More than anything he wanted her support. But this time he was truly on his own.
chapter 14
There was a long and uncomfortable silence. Summer's resistance had long been clear, but the outburst was unexpected, at least to Maria who was feeling numb and anxious. She was not quite sure what sort of reaction she'd expected, but certainly nothing so vehement and hostile. Maria looked at Kurren, and there were even cracks showing in his armour, with sweat beading on his brow. The other two administrators were talking to each other in hushed voices, while Talia simply watched the two visitors, with implacable, eerie coolness. Finally, Maria decided to speak.
“Should... should you go after them?”
“No, I think it is best to let them go,” said Talia, calmly.
Maria opened her mouth to speak again, but nothing came out. They had prepared contingencies should there be resistance towards them. Different arguments they could make, and different ways to convince them. But this situation was like nothing they had planned for. Talia looked almost smug. Had she planned this? Had she allowed this meeting knowing how it would self-destruct and leave no choice but to turn them away?
“We have not been entirely honest with you,” Talia said, cutting the silence again.
“Oh?” Kurren said, defensively. “And how is that?” It was the first time he had spoken since they had all sat down. Now, realising that their plan had failed, and sensing a darkening mood, he would be a silent partner no more.
Talia regarded Kurren for a while, taking her measure of him. He held her gaze, not blinking once. “It is true that we know little of what happened before The Fall, Mr Kurren,” said Talia. “But you are mistaken if you think that we know nothing. Furthermore, you are not the first remnants of the pre-Fall civilisation to visit here.” Maria was surprised by Talia’s sudden honestly, and it showed on her face. Talia appeared more relaxed and forthright now the Rangers had left. “It was many years ago, more than a generation ago in fact. And their story was different to yours, as they had not intended to come here. They had crashed, like you. Shot down, as it happens.” Kurren flinched at the mention of this. “They too spoke of a conflict,” Talia continued, “although the detail of that meeting is lost, the
outcome is well-remembered, at least amongst the administrators.”
“The outcome?” said Kurren.
Talia sat back in her chair slightly and folded her arms. “Unfortunately, they did not... integrate very well,” she said.
“Integrate?” Maria repeated, confused.
Talia looked at her and her lip curled slightly, betraying some emotion for the first time. It appeared to be a sore point. “Yes, integrate, Miss Salus,” she said curtly. The switch to 'Miss Salus' was telling, Maria thought. The tone of the conversation had certainly turned. Talia continued. “You have already seen the effect that talk of The Fall and what came before has on people. It divides us, Miss Salus. We, here on this planet, are the survivors of your fallen civilisation. We have battled hardships you cannot comprehend to survive and leave that time behind. And we want no further part of it.”
Kurren now also folded his arms. “It seems that at least one of you does,” he said.
Talia's eyes flicked over to meet his. “Ethan is a romantic,” she said. “There are very few of those left in this world. The hard life we lead tends to drain the idealism from people, and leaves us only with essential truths.”
Maria felt the hair prickle on the back of her neck. It matched the spiky atmosphere around the table. She said calmly, “And what is the truth, Administrator Talia?”
Now Talia's expression betrayed her feelings. She was angry, and it was starting to bubble to the surface, despite her attempts to mask it. “The truth, Miss Salus, is that you represent a world that no longer exists, and that your very presence here serves to create disharmony and division.”
Now it was Kurren's turn to betray some anger. “You set this up, didn't you?” he said. “You knew that the girl, Summer, would explode, and you knew it would create a rift between her and the kid? You're setting them against us, hoping he’ll side with her.”
“You set them against each other when you arrived,” replied Talia.
“Don’t you even want to know why we’re here?” asked Maria.
“I don't care why you're here!” Talia retorted, bitterness clear in her voice and expression for the first time. Whatever she was holding beneath the surface was close to flowing over. Talia appeared to recognise this and drew back, taking a deep breath and exhaling it slowly, before adding, “All that matters is what happens now.”
Maria understood the meaning. “You mean, whether we ‘integrate’ or cause more trouble,” she said, pointedly.
Talia did not respond directly to the question, but Maria could see the truth in her eyes. “You are free to remain in this Settlement,” Talia continued, “providing you play a role here like everyone else. This is what the previous visitors we mentioned failed to do, and why they volunteered to go their own way.”
Maria wondered what became of them, and just how voluntarily they had left. Given the bleakness of the landscape, and the danger from Roamers, she imaged they did not last long. In fact, without meds, they probably succumbed to the Maddening themselves and became of one the creatures they had fought and killed. Not a fate she wished to share.
Talia was still speaking, “... and on the clear understanding that you do not discuss where you are from, or what you know of The Fall with anyone in the settlement.”
“And if we don't comply with your conditions?” Maria was careful to keep the tone of the question neutral, so as not to betray any rebellious intent.
There was a brief silence as Talia also considered her reply. “Then we will provide you with supplies and equipment, and you may follow the path of your predecessors and leave.”
Maria nodded, the reality of the situation now clear to her and, judging from the look on Kurren’s face, to him too. Not so voluntary, after all, she thought. Kurren looked over at Maria and there was an unspoken understanding. The contingency plan would be required, it seemed.
“Can we have some time to think about it?” Maria asked.
This appeared to surprise Talia, who said “of course you can, Maria.” The familiar, subtle smile was back again, along with the intentional switch back to first names. “You may remain in the settlement, under the charge of the Rangers until you reach your decision,” said Talia. And then she added, almost warmly, “We could certainly use people of your abilities around here.” Another brief pause followed and then she added delicately, “To avoid any further... excitement... I would require that you remain out of sight until you decide.”
“We understand, of course,” said Maria, and then she made the first play of their contingency plan. “Perhaps we can stay with the Ranger, Ethan? He's already aware of us, and maybe we can help to smooth things over with him. He seemed pretty upset, and that's our doing.”
Talia was clearly suspicious of this request, but she didn't want to expose the visitors to any more of the settlement's inhabitants than was necessary at this point. “Very well,” she said. “But Summer will also accompany you.”
Maria's expression remained calm, though inside she was cursing. She knew the addition of the firebrand Ranger, Summer, would make their task harder. “Of course,” she said, mirroring Talia’s half smile.
Talia rose, and her silent companions rose with her. Maria had almost forgotten they were even in the room. “Very well then, Miss Salus, Mr Kurren,” Talia said as she waved a hand to the two Rangers who had initially escorted them to the hall, and were now standing at the back of the room. They walked over. “The Rangers will escort you back to Ethan's house,” she added, looking directly at Maria. “We will talk to Summer and explain the situation. We’ll have them both meet you there, with some food and hot water.”
Maria bowed her head respectfully, “Thank you, Administrator Talia.” She rose and turned to face the Rangers, who were stony-faced and unwelcoming. A solider is a soldier, no matter where they are from, she thought. Kurren rose also, thanked Administrator Talia for her time, and turned to stand beside Maria. Then, with escort in tow, they began walking back to the house where Maria had awoken earlier.
Quietly, so that no-one else could hear, Kurren whispered, “The guy is our best chance. He may even want to come.”
“I don't know,” Maria replied in hushed tones. “Before this I would have agreed, but he looked shaken. The girl laid into him hard.”
Kurren contemplated this for moment, and then said, with some hesitation, “You... you can help make him want to come with us, if you know what I mean? You know he's sweet on you.”
Maria felt the knot inside her stomach return. She wanted to punch Kurren in the eye, and were it not for their current location, she would have done.
chapter 15
Maria and Kurren had been in the Ranger’s house for only a few minutes when Ethan's young nephew, Elijah, walked in. Ethan had not been there when they arrived, so while the other Rangers stood guard outside, Maria and Kurren had quietly discussed their tactics, checked their toxicity levels – which were creeping steadily towards the amber, but still fine – and taken another dose of meds.
“Hey, Ethan, are you in here?” Elijah shouted as he bustled in through a back door that neither Maria nor Kurren had spotted, since it was obscured with a curtain. The surprise entry startled them and made them jerk around to face the young boy. Equally, the shock of seeing two complete strangers in his uncle's house drew Elijah up short. But he was not afraid. “Who are you?” he asked, filling the void with his inquisitive, confident voice. And then before either of them could answer: “Hey, you're the ones from the crash, right? The people my uncle found?”
Maria looked at Kurren, hoping for him to take the lead – she wasn’t used to children – but he just shrugged, unhelpfully. Maria rolled her eyes and looked back at the boy. “That's right,” she said, in a friendly tone, “so, Ethan is your uncle?”
“Uh-huh,” the boy replied, “I'm Elijah. Uncle Ethan told me a little bit about you already, before my mum said he should stop.” Kurren chuckled and Maria dug him in the side. “He said there was an older guy, a
soldier I think,” Elijah then pointed at Kurren, “I guess that must be you,” Kurren didn't have time to confirm the boy's assumption before he added, “and a blonde-haired pretty lady.” Maria blushed. Kurren laughed out loud. Maria dug him in the ribs again. Blissfully unaware of the embarrassment he had just caused, Elijah continued talking. “So, why are you here? Are you from space? Ethan said you might be from space!” the boy blurted out with barely a breath between sentences. Maria had no time to even consider a response, before Elijah, unable to contain his excitement at meeting these mysterious travellers, asked a further question. “Are you angels?”
Maria was totally lost for words, and looked at Kurren, imploringly, for help. Kurren smiled at her, and then stepped out a little closer towards the boy. “No, we’re not angels,” he said, and then held out his hand towards him. “Commander Christopher Kurren, space soldier, at your service,” he said in his best military voice, but with a wry smile. Elijah didn't really know what to do so he stuck out his hand too. Kurren took it and shook it vigorously, making Elijah jolt up and down. “Pleased to meet you, solider, welcome to the space corp!” Kurren said enthusiastically as Elijah bobbed up and down, giggling.
Taking her cue from Kurren, Maria walked over and back-slapped Kurren. “At ease, Commander,” she said, mimicking Kurren's faux military voice. “I'm Maria... I mean, Space Pilot Captain Maria Salus, or Sal to my fellow pilots,” she said nodding her head towards Elijah, and then saluting. Elijah let go of Kurren's hand and returned the salute, clumsily, a huge grin on his face. Maria lowered the salute and smiled. Then she asked, “Hey, what did you mean just then, when you said, 'are you angels'?”
“Oh, it's what we call the flashes of light in the sky,” said Elijah, pointing up towards the ceiling of the house. “You can see them at night. Ethan told me they are angels that watch over us to keep us safe from Roamers and The Maddening. We've all got one, us survivors that is. Hey, I wonder if you've seen them?” Maria opened her mouth in an attempt to answer, but no words came out. As it happened, it didn't matter, because Elijah just carried on talking, ignoring his own question. “Mr Boucher, he’s the scholar here, says it’s the only bit of history that's worth knowing. Uncle Ethan doesn't agree and calls Mr Boucher an ‘ignorant old bastard', whatever that means.” Kurren laughed and Maria rolled her eyes at him again. “Ethan likes to watch them at night,” Elijah went on, “the lights I mean. And so do I, when he lets me anyway.”