by P. C. Zick
Leah bowed her head. She knew Susie was right, but Susie didn’t know about the kiss or about the way they looked into one another’s eyes that first day. Then an hour later, he was carting Sally Jean around on the back of his bike as if she was painted on his back. What kind of man did that? Then just as quickly, she remembered that she’d kissed him, too, and she was the one engaged to Jacob. She didn’t know what it was about him, but she supposed she couldn’t refuse his help.
“All right,” Leah said. “You’re right; I’ve been unfair. It’s been confusing for me because I thought for several years that the older brother of my fiancé was dead. Now Geraldine and Jacob talk horribly about him.”
“Doesn’t that say more about them than him?” Susie asked. “I mean, here they are the head of the Sunshine Church, and they cast out Dean and disparage him. That doesn’t sound very Christian to me.”
“They said he did something horrible,” Leah said.
“And I happen to know that the ‘thing’ they refer to never happened,” Reggie said. “If they haven’t told you, here’s the story. They claim he raped Mable Cornish; she was sixteen, and he was seventeen, but she was already having sex with several guys around town. But Dean never touched her.”
“How are you so sure?’ Leah asked. “Just because he told you?”
“Because the night they said he did it, I was with Mable,” Reggie said.
Susie and Leah both stared at him. Leah didn’t have to wonder for long if Susie knew this part of the story.
“You were with Mable? You never told me that,” Susie said. “Why didn’t you stand up and defend Dean?”
“I tried, but Geraldine came down hard; she said if I said anything again, Big Jim was going to come after me. I was a kid, and I believed her, but I know for a fact Dean never touched her that night—probably never. He was too far gone into Sally Jean to notice anyone else.”
“Dean forgave you?” Susie asked.
“He understood. Geraldine raised him.”
“What else have you been keeping from me?” Susie asked. “First Harold Grant and now this.”
“It never seemed important enough to tell you.”
“What happened to Mable?” Leah asked. “And who’s Harold Grant?”
“You can ask Dean about Harold Grant, but Mable’s a sad story,” Susie said. “Ever since high school, she was known as the town whore. A couple of years after Dean left, she committed suicide. She left a note accusing her father of abusing her for years, and she just couldn’t take it any longer.”
“I was only with Mable that one time, but I always felt sorry for her. I told you about sleeping with her so you could see that Geraldine isn’t as great as you think she is,” Reggie said. “Jacob’s a good guy, but his mother has far too much influence over him. I’m sorry to say that about the man you intend to marry, but maybe it’s time you heard it.”
“It’s true that Jacob won’t stand up to his mother even when he knows she’s wrong like with Soup’s On. I know he believes in the work I do there, but he won’t do anything about it.”
“And now you’ve been given an ultimatum,” Susie said. “What are you going to do if you continue with Soup’s On?”
“I don’t know,” Leah said. “But I know I can’t give it up. Let’s go and take a look at the barn, like you suggested.”
“One more thing,” Reggie said. “Geraldine doesn’t make idle threats, so you better make sure you can handle the consequences. It could mean the end of your relationship with Jacob.”
“I’ve considered that, and if Jacob doesn’t stand up for me with his mother, then maybe that’s something I need to find out before I marry him,” Leah said.
“You can come and live with me,” Susie said. “There’s plenty of room in that old house.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Reggie said. “Now I’ve got to get over to the tavern and start up the grills for the Saturday lunch crowd. I’ll have some food for you about three o’clock, if you want to come by.”
“Thanks, Reggie,” Leah said. “The river folks are going to eat more than ever between you and Clara.”
Leah and Susie drove slowly down the old road kicking up limerock dust behind them as they came closer to the barn. Finally, it came into view, all two stories of it with the chipped and faded barn red paint. Despite the neglected façade, the structure looked sturdy, with white shutters on the windows of the top floor and a large barn door shut tightly.
“Nothing paint and nails can’t solve,” Susie said as she pulled up to the front doors.
Leah got out of the car with a beating heart. She’d been down here plenty of times, but she’d only walked past the barn on the way to the river. It always appeared foreboding and closed to her before today. Now she saw it with fresh eyes. The possibilities ran through her mind.
“I can see it,” Leah said as they walked toward the two large doors that slid together. A padlock kept them from entering. “Wonder how we can get a key.”
“Dean can get past a padlock, I bet,” Susie said.
As she finished her statement, they heard the roar of a motorcycle come down the road. Dean pulled his Harley in behind Susie’s car. After he’d turned it off, he sat on his bike, looking at them.
“You two are trespassing, you know,” Dean said with a smile on his face. Leah kept staring at the barn while Susie turned around.
“Who’s going to kick us off?” Susie asked. “You better bring a posse if you think you can do it. This girl is determined to turn this barn into Soup’s On.”
Dean got off the bike and walked toward them. “Let’s go inside,” he said.
“It’s locked,” Leah said and pointed to the padlock.
Dean pulled a key out of his jean’s pocket. Leah tried not to look at him with his denim shirt unbuttoned just enough to reveal the muscles of his chest.
“Big Jim gave it to me before he died,” Dean said. “Let’s take a look.”
He unlocked the doors and pushed them aside using both of his arms. Dust motes danced in the sunlight filtering through gaps in the walls. Musty and mildew greeted them, but only in the expected amounts for a structure in Florida without air conditioning.
“Going to need some cool dry air in here,” Dean said. “Your food will go sour as soon as you put it on the table.”
“What about electricity?” Leah asked. “Is there electricity?”
“Pretty sure there’s a line out here, but it probably isn’t on,” Dean said as he walked over to the side. He found a light switch and flicked it. A bulb hanging from a rafter in the center of the barn illuminated the center of the room. “Geraldine must not realize it’s still on here.”
“I can picture a kitchen back here,” Leah said as she walked to the back wall. “The whole width of the barn from about here back could be the kitchen.” She stood one quarter of the way back from the far wall.
“Then the rest could be for tables and maybe a sitting area,” Susie said.
“That’s going to take some work,” Dean said. “But it’s not impossible.”
“Reggie and I have plenty of friends who work in construction,” Susie said. “I’m sure with enough beer, we could get them to donate some weekend time.”
Leah’s eyes shone as she looked at Dean for the first time. “Thank you, Dean.” She found it difficult to say his name.
“Let’s make some lists of what needs to be done,” Susie said. “I’ve got a notepad in the car.”
She left the two of them standing and facing one another.
“I didn’t mean to insult you back there,” he said. “I stated my view of the world as I’ve known it. Maybe you’ll prove me differently.”
“Apology accepted. I’m sorry I called you a liar. But Geraldine is sure she owns it all. How are you going to convince her you actually own the property?”
“The lawyers will sort that out,” Dean said. “There’s going to be a meeting on Monday, but I don’t think Geraldine and Jacob
know about it yet.”
“I don’t want her to know anything about what we’re planning,” Leah said. “She’s threatened to kick me out if I continue trying to keep feeding those folks.”
“What about you and Jacob?”
“I don’t know. I can’t believe he’d let her throw me out.”
“I hope you’re right—only for your sake, not theirs.”
“About that kiss,” Leah said. “Geraldine saw us. She’s holding it over my head.”
“Sounds like her. Ignore her and her threats. It will all be settled one way or another in a few days.”
Leah heard the car door slam and saw Susie headed back to the barn with notepad in hand.
“I’m sorry about the kiss,” Dean said. “It won’t happen again.”
Leah didn’t know whether to smile or cry.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Susie dropped Leah off at the parsonage. On Saturdays, Geraldine went shopping in the Tampa area, usually to one of the many malls surrounding the periphery of the sprawling city. Leah sighed in relief when Geraldine’s chocolate-colored Lincoln Town Car wasn’t sitting in the garage when Leah returned. She went into the hall and opened the cupboard where she kept the paper products purchased in advance for Soup’s On. She grabbed paper plates, plastic utensils, and napkins. She knew Jacob was hard at work on his sermon for the next day so she didn’t bother him. She got into the van and drove back to Dew Drops where Clara had pans of lasagna and meatloaf. She also gave her several bags of garlic bread.
“Everything’s hot so better get them down there quickly,” Clara said. “I’m closed tomorrow, but I’ll have some more food later today, if you want to drop back by.”
“Thanks. I’ll be back,” Leah drove off and headed for the barn. She couldn’t drive down to the river so she parked the van under a live oak tree next to the barn. She’d feed them from the back of the van until Geraldine took it away from her. She walked down to the camp.
“Hey, folks, I’ve got some hot food up at the van parked near the barn, but you’ll need to come up there and get it,” Leah said. “I think I might have some good news, too.”
She walked with Joshua back to the barn. Joshua had followed Leah from Tampa when she moved in with Geraldine. He didn’t have any physical wounds, and mentally, he was sound. She knew he could have worked a regular job if he wanted to. She wondered more than once if he stayed at the Deer River Camp to help take care of the others. That’s what he’d done in Tampa. He and Carol had served as surrogate parents to Leah. They gave her the courage to finish high school and get a job.
“Carol and I spent last night talking about the dilemma now that Soup’s On is closed,” Joshua said. “We’ve been allowing you to do all the work, and that’s not right when we’re all capable of doing something to help ourselves.”
“I don’t mind. You helped me when I needed it most,” Leah said. “You’re all doing the best you can.”
“But we’ve got to get up each day and at least try or we die,” he said. “Carol and I came up with an idea.”
They were coming close to the barn as they edged out of the line of trees and walked across the fallow field.
Joshua raised his arms around the field. “See this large area of good soil? Carol and I think we could start a garden here if we had some seeds and seedlings.”
“It’s not the right time of year to start a garden in Florida,” Leah said, but she could see his vision immediately.
“That’s right, but that means we have a few months to get the area prepped for the plants,” Carol said. She’d joined them as they walked out of the woods. “If we could borrow some tools, we could start plotting out an area, and then we could start growing vegetables in the fall. When I was a kid, we always had a garden.”
“I don’t think it’ll be a problem to find you some hoes, rakes, and shovels,” Leah said. “I think it’s a great idea.”
“Who knows? Maybe we’ll grow so much food, we’ll open a roadside stand,” Joshua said. He and Carol grinned as they put their arms around one another, but then Carol’s face lost the smile.
“Would the owners of this land let us garden here?” Carol asked.
“That’s the news I wanted to share,” Leah said. “I’m sure the owner would be fine with the idea, and besides that, he’s going to let us open Soup’s On right here in the barn. And it’s big enough in there to put in a dormitory for nights when it’s impossible to sleep outside.”
“No kidding?” Joshua looked up at the barn. “That’s just about the best news I’ve ever heard.”
“We’ve got some work to do, but I bet there’d be things some of you could do to help get it ready, too,” Leah said. “But first, let’s feed everyone. For now, Soup’s On will be serving from the back of a van.”
After the river folks went back to their afternoon pursuits, Leah entered the barn using the key Dean left with her. Despite the heat and humidity outside, the barn felt warm and dry. But most of all to Leah, it felt safe. She thought she’d bring down her sleeping bag and stay there for the night to absorb the spirit of the place. Leah breathed in the peace. It’s never been disturbed by anything bad, she thought as she looked up at the loft. Dust motes danced and floated down to surround her. She sneezed once and smiled, knowing there would be no more sneezes here. The place wrapped itself around her in a warm embrace.
As she stood in the middle of the great room, she decided to tell Jacob she needed time to think and would move in with Susie. As she looked up at the rafters, she imagined the barn come alive with the Deer River campers. She didn’t like to refer to them as homeless because as she knew no one who was alive was ever homeless. There was always some place to live, even if it meant there were no walls or ceilings to keep her warm. She left the barn and drove back to the church where she found Jacob still hard at work on his sermon.
“How’s it going?” Leah asked when she entered his office. Jacob’s office was devoid of much of anything but his desk and a few chairs. Nothing adorned the white walls and his desk’s one ornament was a photo of Leah and him on the day they became engaged.
“Slowly,” he said as he looked up from the table in front of him. “I’m stuck, and it’s probably because of all that’s happened this week, first with the kitchen, and then with Dean showing up. It has me rattled.”
“Why, Jacob? I don’t understand why seeing your brother after so many years would be disturbing.”
“It just is. He’s always been trouble, and I have no reason to believe this time is any different. But I can live with that. I’m much more bothered by your insistence to keep running Soup’s On.”
“You know why that’s so important to me,” Leah said as she sat down in the chair in front of the desk. “I know you want me to give it up, but I can’t. It’s as much a part of me as you are.”
Jacob looked at her for a long time, and then nodded. “I understand. But you have to understand that I can’t stand up to Mother. I just can’t.”
“I wish you could. I need some time to think about things, so I’m going to stay over at Susie’s place for at least tonight. Maybe I can sort it all out so we can both be satisfied.”
Jacob smiled with relief. “That would be great if you could find a way that Mother would approve of as well.”
“I didn’t say I could perform a miracle, but maybe with some distance between us I can find a solution.” Leah stood up and came around the desk to stand next to Jacob. He turned in his chair and faced her.
“I know one thing,” Leah said. “I love you, Jacob, and want to marry you.”
Jacob stood and gave her a long and lingering kiss. “I feel the same way.” Then he pulled her close and gave her a hug.
Leah walked out of the office feeling even more confused than before. When Jacob kissed her, she felt nothing. Those kisses used to tempt her to convince him to forgo the silly promise to wait until they were married to have sex. However, today she couldn’t wait to get away from him.<
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She was grateful that Geraldine had yet to return from her shopping trip. She went to her bedroom closet and pulled down her sleeping bag from the top shelf. It was worn from years of use but still had padding and gave Leah a sense of home when she pulled it close and smelled the lingering odors of fire, salt, and sand.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Dean rode back to the motel after buying a six-pack of beer from the convenience store. He thought about Leah and the way she looked when she went inside the barn and imagined her Soup’s On being transported there. He made a vow to himself that he would do everything in his power to help her dreams come true. On Monday, the fireworks would begin, and he’d spend the rest of the weekend relaxing.
The room depressed him even though the cool air shooting out of the air conditioner was a welcome relief from the heat of the day. As the day waned, the sun bore down on his room’s west facing window. The mini-blinds were no match for Mother Nature’s show of power as the sun made its way through the slats. As Dean lay on the bed drinking his first beer, it occurred to him that he should go out to the barn and spend the night. He loved that old barn. During a difficult childhood, it was the one place he could go where no one would find him or bother him.
He stopped by the Victory Tavern and asked Reggie to prepare him a burger and fries to go. When it was ready, he headed to the barn with the rest of his beer and a bag of hot food.
He noticed the lock was off the door as soon as he got off his bike. He was sure he’d locked it when he left there with Leah and Susie. He had given Leah another key. She wouldn’t be here on a Saturday night, he thought as he pushed the doors open. Leah stood in the center of the room holding a sleeping bag under one arm. In the other, she held a cloth grocery bag.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I’m sorry; I can leave,” she said. “I thought since you gave me a key, I could come here. I decided to spend the night to think about things and make plans.”