by P. C. Zick
“I can take a few minutes to enjoy the cool morning,” she said. “It’s not like I have to dress up to go to work.”
With mugs in hand, they walked toward the river as the birds sang and flew from the treetops before the heat of the day settled over the land. Florida in the summer brought a lassitude to all living things in the morning. They sat on a rock on the banks and listened to the river as it flowed slowly. Softly and gently, nature surrounded them as they sipped their coffee and held hands.
“What are we doing?” Leah asked. “Why can’t we stay away from one another?”
“It seems it was you who can’t stay away from me, little lady,” Dean said in an imitation of John Wayne in a B Western.
She slapped at his arm. “You know what I mean.”
“I’ve told you how I feel,” he said. “It’s you that seems to have some hesitation, although I have no idea how you could do what you did to me last night and still go ahead with a marriage to Jacob.”
Leah felt her heart skip a beat, and she felt a chill. She stood up.
“I need to leave. I’ll put my cup on the steps.”
She turned and walked away from him. She felt as if a cold bucket of water had been thrown over her head. She must be losing her mind to think having sex with Dean would solve everything. She owed Jacob more than that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Dean watched her walk away, her hair swaying on her back as the sun caught the lighter streaks. Her hips moved side to side just as they’d done last night when she was on top of him. He wanted to chase after her, but knew there was no use. He flung the remainder of his coffee toward the river and got up to go take a shower. He loved her, but he was beginning to get tired of her games. It was almost as if she was teasing him and using him. All the while, she strung Jacob along as if she was going to marry him one day. He snorted as he walked. I’m done with that bullshit, he thought. No more. She needed to make a decision, and she needed to do it alone, despite how she made him feel.
He’d done his best to stay away from her for an entire week after they made love the first time. He thought if she missed him, it would make a difference. Obviously, she just wanted to use him. He knew the routine. In fact, he’d been the one to perfect it for so many years with others.
The appliances arrived later in the day, and Dean helped put everything in place on the clay-colored tile floors that had been laid in the kitchen area the week before. A double stainless steel refrigerator with a separate full-size freezer, a six-burner stainless steel stove with grill, two separate matching ovens, and an industrial-sized dishwasher completed the kitchen. Leah would have plenty of storage and cooking space. Dean pushed thoughts of her aside as he pushed, shoved, and leveled the large appliances. He left before she came back in the afternoon. He didn’t want to be there when she saw another piece of her dream fall into place. If he wasn’t a part of that dream, he didn’t want to witness her pleasure.
Instead, after he finished work, he showered for the second time that day and hopped on his bike. He decided that some beers and conversation with Reggie would help him forget how he’d spent the night before.
When he came into the dusty tavern smelling of stale beer, it was empty, except for Reggie. Dean’s shoes stuck to the floor as he crossed to the bar. He noticed chairs turned over on the floor and tables pushed against the wall. Reggie kept better house than what Dean saw here.
“Rough night?” he asked as he picked up a chair and set it straight.
“Full moon,” he said. “I haven’t had a chance to straighten up. Susie and I had a rough night, too.”
Dean raised his eyebrows, but he didn’t ask any questions. If Reggie wanted to share, he would. Dean pushed back the tables and chairs.
“Where’s the mop?” he asked when he came into the kitchen where Reggie and a young man were starting the evening’s food preparation. “That floor out there is a mess.”
“Back there in the storage room.” Reggie pointed to a hallway off the kitchen.
Once Dean had mopped the floor, he pulled a draft from the keg and sat on a stool in the kitchen. Reggie was chopping onions.
“Opening late today?” Dean asked.
“As you can see no one’s beating down the door,” Reggie said. “Business is slow, but I usually get folks filtering in by six for dinner. I open up at three o’clock most days for low-lifes like you, even though you’ve been a stranger here for awhile.”
“Thanks, from one low-life to another,” Dean raised his glass in a toast. Reggie raised an imaginary mug.
“That’s what Susie thinks I am,” Reggie said. “Jordy, the onions are done. I’m going out front to get the bar ready to open.”
Dean followed Reggie into the bar area leaving Jordy, his cook, to prepare the rest of the food for the night’s crowd.
“I know it’s true, but why does Susie think you’re a low-life?” Dean asked once he settled at the bar and Reggie started washing glasses still piled up from the night before.
“I told her and Leah about being with Mable the night you left town,” Reggie said. “I told Leah so she’d see what kind of person Geraldine is, but instead Susie took it to mean more about me and my morals than anything else.”
“It was ten years ago,” Dean said. “You weren’t even with Susie then, were you?”
“No, but she thinks I should have told her sometime since we got together. I felt bad about Mable and all, but it was a one-night stand. I didn’t think I had to confess those.”
“That’d take some time to do, me and you both.” Dean grinned and held up his beer for a refill. He chugged half the beer, and then started putting the tables and chairs back into place.
“Is Susie still pissed?” Dean asked as he worked.
“Yep, wouldn’t let me stay there last night. She makes me so angry sometimes I could spit. Know what I mean?”
“I hear ya, Reg. I hear ya.”
“She’s even jealous of Sally Jean now.”
“Sally Jean? What’s she got to do with anything?”
“Susie thinks she hangs out here too much, and by hanging out, I mean hanging out all over the bar, if you know what I mean.” Reggie held his hands up to his chest as if he was holding two melons.
“Women.” Dean shook his head. “Who needs ‘em?”
“You know as well as I do that we both need them,” Reggie said. “You might as well turn the sign on to let the world know the Victory Tavern is now open for business. Can’t do a damn thing about Susie until she lets me.”
Dean went to the wall by the door and flipped a switch and all the neon lights in the front window flashed on. He went back to the bar and finished his beer.
“Give me a shot of Wild Turkey,” Dean said. “I feel the need to tie one on.”
Dean managed to eat a burger after the fourth beer and second shot. No need to get sick as well as drunk, he thought, as the image of Leah underneath him began to fade. A low burning anger set up house at the back of his brain as the beer flowed down his throat.
The door opened, bringing in some of the late day sunshine into the dark bar. Sally Jean sauntered over to Dean’s stool and stood next to him pressing her breasts into his arm with the snake tattoo. He turned to look at her in her Daisy Duke shorts and red-checked blouse tied up close under her breasts. With the top buttons undone, Dean could see the red lace of her bra barely keeping her boobs in place.
“Haven’t seen you here in awhile,” Sally Jean said as she brought her lips down to his cheek to give him a kiss. “Thought you were upset with me for some reason.”
“How could I be upset with you?” Dean turned to face her and brought her between his legs. “In fact, it should be me apologizing to you. I was a fool to walk away from you the last time.”
“I know how you could make up for it,” she said as she put her finger in his beer and then put her finger in her mouth slathered with red lipstick.
“I bet you do. How about a shot of Wild Turkey
first?
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Reggie, my man, set me and this gorgeous woman up for shots and keep it flowing,” Dean said. “In fact, just leave that bottle over here.”
After a few shots, and more than a few suggestive comments and tugs on her shorts, Dean stood up and pulled Sally Jean off her stool. She staggered slightly in her three-inch wedgies covered in denim, but he grabbed her around the waist.
“Come with me,” he said.
He led her into the storage room where he’d gotten the mop a few hours earlier. She began unbuckling his belt. He unbuttoned her blouse and buried his face in her breasts.
He grabbed her rear end and pulled her close, as he kissed her neck.
“Leah,” he whispered into Sally Jean’s hair.
Sally Jean jerked her head back. “Did you just call me Leah?”
“No, that’s impossible,” Dean said as he began to sober up. “I slurred my words. I meant to say Sally Jean.”
She looked at him, and he stared back seeing her for the first time since they came into the back room.
“Silly me,” she said. “I don’t why I thought you said that weirdo’s name.”
She tried snuggling with him again, but he pushed her away.
“Sally Jean, I can’t. I can’t do this.”
“Not again, you bastard,” she said. “I can’t take this, Dean.”
“I’m sorry. Here, button up your blouse.” He reached for the top button, but she slapped away his hand.
“Don’t you touch me. You really did say her name, didn’t you?”
“We’ve been working at the barn together. I guess she’s been on my mind.”
The slap came swiftly, giving him no time to block the palm of her hand when it landed on the side of his face.
CHAPTER THIRTY
“The appliances are so beautiful,” Leah said to Susie as they sat on the porch rocking and drinking iced tea. After she’d served lunch, she stopped by the barn, but everyone was gone for the day. The appliances were all in place. It meant she didn’t have to face Dean, but it also meant she couldn’t share her pleasure with him.
“I’ll try and get over there tomorrow to see,” Susie said. “You must be so excited.”
“I am.” Leah stared out onto the front lawn that needed mowing.
“You don’t sound like it.”
“I’m very happy with the appliances, but things are a little out of control with Dean and me. I’ve made a mess of things.”
“Join the club. Reggie and I had a big fight last night about Mable or rather why he never told me he was with her.”
“That was a long time ago, Susie. You two weren’t even together when it happened. What does it matter?”
Susie rocked and looked out at the same neglected lawn.
“I need to get out there and mow. It doesn’t matter, except Mable was someone who came into conversations quite often in the early years of our relationship. She was a mess, and it was so awful when she killed herself.”
“I have an idea,” Leah said. “Let’s go down to the tavern and have supper. You’re not going to mow today, and you can tell Reggie you forgive him for whatever you think he did. Besides, he said he had some supplies for me he can’t use.”
“I guess we could do that. He’s serving spaghetti and meatballs tonight—my favorite.”
“Then let’s go.” Leah really did want to get the supplies, and a part of her hoped Dean would be there having dinner. She wanted to apologize to him as well.
“What about Dean?” Susie said. “He could be there.”
“That’s all right. I need to apologize to him, too.”
When they walked into the tavern, only a few tables were filled with folks spiraling spaghetti onto their forks. Charlie sat at the bar. Dean was nowhere in sight, even though Leah had seen his bike outside. She decided he must be in the bathroom.
They sat at the bar, and Reggie came over to them. Susie and he looked at each other, and Leah felt as if she was intruding.
“Reggie, I came to get those supplies you mentioned,” Leah said more to break the tension than anything. “Are they in the back?”
“In the storage room off the kitchen,” he said. “The boxes are in the center of the room with your name on them.”
“I’ll start loading them into the van while we’re waiting for dinner,” Leah said as the two continued to stare at one another. “I’ll have the special, and to celebrate, I’ll even have a glass of wine. You choose what kind because I don’t have a clue.”
“This is quite a night,” Susie said. “Bring out your best red.”
“You’re my best red,” Reggie said as he reached for Susie’s mop of red curls. “Don’t you ever forget it.”
Leah rolled her eyes and jumped off the stool. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to coo at one another while I do the heavy lifting.”
“Get Dean to help you out,” Reggie said. “He’s probably in the bathroom.”
As she headed for the storeroom, the door swung open almost hitting her in the face. Sally Jean barreled past her, buttoning her blouse over a red lace bra. When she saw Leah, she started laughing.
“This is good. You came just in time. I was just the opening act,” Sally Jean said. “He’s all yours. You two deserve one another.”
Leah stared after her wondering what she meant, but she didn’t have to wonder long when she walked into the storage room to see Dean buckling his belt. She looked up at his face and saw a red welt over his cheek.
“Leah, what are you doing here?” Dean asked as he moved toward her.
“Get away from me. Sally Jean? You did it again; you went from me to Sally Jean in one day.”
“It’s not like that,” he said. “Nothing happened. I got a little drunk, but then nothing happened. What do you care? You ran off this morning back to my brother, as if nothing happened last night.”
“If I could take it back, I would. I can’t believe I came down here to apologize to you.”
“Let me explain. I was so angry at you this morning when you left like that. I did something stupid by coming down here, but I didn’t do anything with Sally Jean.”
“You bastard,” she said. “You expect me to believe you after seeing you practically with your pants down? You’re as bad as Geraldine and Jacob said you were. They both warned me, but I took up for you. I can’t believe I was so stupid.”
She turned and walked out of the room fighting the tears that threatened to overflow onto her cheeks. She would not allow him to see her tears. As much as it hurt her, Dean had taken care of the biggest dilemma of her life. She knew what she needed to do, and she needed to do it before she changed her mind.
She walked out the front door and went straight to the van. She pulled out of the parking lot, forgetting about the supplies, her dinner, and Susie. All she could see was the red of Sally Jean’s bra and Dean’s hands on his belt buckle when she walked into the room.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Leah drove to the parsonage. Jacob answered the door on the second ring of the doorbell.
“Hi Leah,” Jacob said. “I was in the kitchen getting dinner. Want to join me?”
Leah didn’t answer. She reached up and put her arms around Jacob’s neck and pulled him down close to her. She began kissing him, and he pulled her inside and shut the door.
“What’s this all about?” he asked.
“I think it’s about time for us to figure things out,” she said. “I’m not sure we can make a decision about our future unless we figure out if this is even going to work.”
Jacob leaned down and kissed her. He inserted his tongue tentatively into her mouth, as if asking permission. Her mouth opened wide to welcome him. She pressed against him.
“Let’s go into your room,” she whispered when they pulled apart.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
She nodded her head and looked at him with tears glistening in her green eyes. “Yes, Jacob. I’m
sure.”
They walked back to the bedroom single file. When they were behind closed doors, they each began undressing without speaking. Jacob gasped when he saw Leah naked in front of him.
“You’re beautiful,” he said. “I never imagined how beautiful.” He continued to stare at her as if unsure what to do next. He’d only managed to remove his shirt, revealing a white chest devoid of hair and very little in the way of muscle.
She walked toward him and began undoing his pants, and she immediately noticed he was soft.
“Is there anything wrong?” she asked.
He turned from her and went to sit on the bed. His pants were unzipped but still remained up around his hips.
“Leah, I don’t think I can do this,” he said.
“Why not? Is it me?”
“No, it’s not you. Absolutely not. That’s how bad this is. You are the most beautiful woman with a body sculpted by God and that thick hair. Any man would be all over you right now. But I’m not any man.”
“What is it, Jacob?”
“I’m damaged goods, Leah. She did this to me.” He pointed down at his flaccid penis.
“I don’t understand. Who? Geraldine?”
He winced when she said the name. He kept his eyes scrunched closed.
“What did she do to you?”
“Please leave.”
Leah began putting her shorts and tank top back on, but she knew she couldn’t leave him like this. “Did she hurt you?”
“I can’t get excited, unless it’s with her,” he said with his head in his hands. He started sobbing.
“Jacob, it’s not your fault. She’s a monster, and we need to get you help.”
“No, I can’t tell anyone else about this; promise me, Leah.”
“I promise, but I’m not going to abandon you, either. Is this the first time you tried it with someone else?”
“No, but I thought with you it might be different,” he said. “And when you kissed me at the door, I felt something stirring, and then when we came back here, it all stopped.”
“Is this the room where she did things to you?”