by Lily Graison
He’d been in a foul mood ever since returning from the ride with Holden and Colt and she realized there were things in Rafe’s past that she didn’t know. Things that made him the man he is and he hadn’t been willing to share any of it with her which was very telling.
He didn’t trust her enough to share his life with her.
There was still bad blood there between Rafe and Holden. You could tell by the way they acted around each other. She wondered if something had happened on their ride and maybe that was why he barely spoke to her now. He’d been reminded of what he lost and wanted nothing to do with her because of it.
Grace waited on him to come in for lunch and for the fourth day in a row, he didn’t bother. She’d barely seen him since the day of the sewing circle and her thoughts ran rampant, filling her head with tormenting reasons as to why, most of which had everything to do with her.
She stored the sandwiches she prepared in the oven, her appetite gone, and went up to her room feeling miserable and dejected. Memories of the day by the creek with Rafe plagued her on the days he avoided the house, and her, and today was no exception. What they’d shared that day seemed like a lifetime ago. He rarely spoke to her now and she had to make a decision where Rafe was concerned, but making it would be the hardest thing she’d ever have to do.
Hard-headed man that he was, she was in love with him. Marrying someone else would kill her but she wasn’t sure she had much of a choice.
She couldn’t live in this house forever. Jesse would grow old enough to marry before too long and Grace would never be able to accept a marriage proposal from him. She’d been playing mother to him for too long now to ever think of being his wife.
Sighing, she sat down on the bed. She was at a loss as to what to do. She spotted Rafe out by the barn. The desire to talk to him was strong but she was so tired. Tired of chasing after him to no avail.
It was obvious he would never ask for her hand, as heartbreaking as the realization was. No matter how much she wanted Rafe Samuels, living with him wasn’t enough. She wanted more. She wanted marriage and children and if he wasn’t willing to give her that, then she had no choice but to move on.
Laying back against the pillows, she let every aspect of her situation fill her mind. She had a hard choice to make and the sooner she made it, the sooner she could get on with her life.
“Son of a bitch!” Rafe threw the hammer, hissing out a string of curses as it slammed against the barn wall, and ignored the animals as they all snorted, squawked and stomped in response.
He stuck his thumb in his mouth, trying to lesson the pain and only made it hurt worse. He shook his hand, started across the barn to retrieve the hammer and leaned back against the wall instead, closing his eyes as his thumb throbbed and his mind, once again, filled with thoughts of Grace.
He’d avoided her for close a week now. It was the worst sort of torture he could think of. He craved the sight of her and missed her smiles.
Missed the way she looked at him.
And he was getting more careless as each day without talking to her made him more reckless than the next.
His hands were covered in cuts, his thumb now bleeding from smacking it with the hammer and he hadn’t had a proper nights sleep since the ride with Holden and Colt.
Just looking at Holden brought back memories he’d just as soon forget. Memories of Maggie, the girl he thought he’d spend his life with before Katie promised him forever.
Ten years later, he was alone, desperate to have a woman he was sure would tear his heart out, and too afraid to take a chance that she wouldn’t.
Her leaving him sometime down the road would be his undoing. He’d not survive that sort of pain again. As much as he wanted Grace, letting her have any part of his heart was a death wish.
He knew she would leave soon, if for no other reason than to marry someone in Willow Creek. There was a list of available men for her to chose from and any of them would be damn lucky to have her.
But the thought of her with any of them made his stomach ache, acid burning in his gut until fire licked his veins. Anger at the unknown man caused him to see red. How would he ever be able to live here knowing Grace was somewhere close by, sharing another man’s bed? Her belly swelling with another man’s child?
His hands started shaking just thinking about it. His eyes burned, his throat closing to the point he found it hard to breathe. He leaned over, bracing his hands on his knees and sucked in several harsh breaths. How could he let her leave when every corner of his soul begged him to make her his?
He straightened, staring at the barn doors, trying to convince himself he shouldn’t go into the house, take her into his arms and tell her he couldn’t live without her. That he’d die if she left him.
Her voice was a soft echo, his name drifting on a breeze. He cocked his head to one side, listening to see if he’d only imagined it and heard it again, softer this time, as if it came from some great distance.
Pushing off the wall, he crossed the barn and tried to open the door. It didn’t move. He stared at it, puzzled, and tried again, finally getting it to budge by putting his shoulder against the wood and pushing.
When he was able to see outside, his eyes widened.
Snow was falling at a rate so fast, he couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of him. The house was gone, blurred by the white out.
He’d been hearing the wind howl against the barn for hours, the temperature inside cooling quickly, but not once had he thought anything of it. Winter often came in hard and fast here and the winds were expected.
But the snow storm had caught him off guard.
Grace’s voice filled the air again and Rafe pushed the barn door shut behind him, lifted the collar of his coat and turned his head, trying to determine which direction it was coming from.
He started across the yard, slogging through calf-high snow, and hoped like hell he was going in the direction of the house. Getting lost in a storm like this would be the death of him.
Years of walking from the barn to the house led him in the right direction and he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the steps leading to the back porch. Grace wasn’t there so he hurried into the house.
Not finding her in the kitchen, he searched the downstairs, called her name and knew true fear when he realized she wasn’t inside. She hadn’t been calling his name from the porch as he’d thought.
She was in the snow.
He ran for the back door, grabbed the bundle of rope hanging from the side rail and tied it to the post before taking the free end and jumping back into the yard. He squinted into the wind, looked in every direction, and yelled her name.
Grace stopped when she heard Rafe calling for her. Tears burned her eyes and she blinked them away, turning her head in the direction the sound was coming from. “Rafe! I’m here!”
She felt a hysterical sense of fear wash over her as she frantically turned in circles. She could see nothing but white. The barn, the house…it was all gone. Hidden by a snow storm that swept through the valley in a matter of minutes.
Venturing off the porch had been the stupidest thing she’d ever done. After waking from a nap, and not being able to see out the windows for the snow, fear for Rafe had sent her to the porch, calling his name for nearly ten minutes. When he never answered, she feared he was lost somewhere between the barn and the house and had set out foolishly to find him.
Now she was the one lost, freezing, and tiring by the minute.
Walking in the deepening snow hadn’t been a problem when she stepped off the porch but now, with snow filling her boots, her feet were numb and every step she took felt as if she were walking on knives. The hem of her dress was frozen, her cloak hindering her movements at it dragged behind her, and every part of her body ached.
She listened for Rafe to call her name again and turned, pivoting in a slow circle and barely made out a dark shape to her left. She struggled toward it, disappointed to realize it wasn’t Rafe, but a
tree. Desperate to touch anything solid, she wrapped her arms around it the moment she reached it.
A glance around and she thought she was near the chicken coop. There wasn’t a sound other than the wind, the ting of sleet as it hit the tree limbs and the occasional shout from Rafe.
She looked in the direction of his voice and shouted, “I’m by a large tree!” She hoped he heard her. Her voice was shaky and raw, she’d yelled so much already. Her legs felt weak and she slid down the truck of the tree, trying to rest her legs. She wouldn’t be able to sit long but she had no choice at the moment. Her limbs felt wobbly. She had to rest.
It took him twenty minutes to find her. Seeing her slumped against the base of the tree nearly stopped his heart.
Forcing his legs through the snow, he crouched by her side. “Grace.” He lifted her head, fear stealing his breath to see her eyes closed. “Grace, wake up!”
He shook her, grabbed her under both arms and lifted her from the ground. Her skin felt cold, her complexion taking on a funny pallor. When she blinked up at him, he remembered to breathe.
“Come on, Grace. We’ve got to get to the house.”
Standing, he pulled her to her feet, worried when she sagged against him. He wrapped an arm around her back, scooped her legs up with the other, and lifted her into his arms.
He’d dropped the rope when he’d found her but could still make it out on top of the snow and followed it all the way to the house. It took longer than it should with the deepening snow and trying to carry Grace through it. He lost his balance twice, tumbling to the ground and cursing under his breath before finally making it to safety.
Carrying Grace to his room, Rafe stripped off her cloak, tossing it to the floor, and fumbled with the buttons of her dress. His fingers were like ice and getting the tiny buttons unhooked was damn near impossible.
Pulling at the material in frustration caused the buttons to fly, bouncing off every hard surface they hit. He ignored them as he undressed her, slipping the dress off her shoulders, untying her corset, chemise, and bloomers, and pulled everything down and off her legs. At any other time her naked flesh would have provoked him. Now, it scared the hell out of him.
She was so pale. Her skin like ice.
Removing her boots and stockings, he put her under the covers, naked, tucking the quilts in around her and searched the house, grabbing every spare blanket he could find before piling them on the bed. Then he did the one thing he never thought he’d get a chance to do.
He undressed and climbed under the blankets with her.
Cradling her in his arms, he hissed in a breath when her cold flesh came into contact with his warmed skin. She moaned, the first sound she’d made since he found her, and he slid down the bed a bit to be eye level with her.
“Grace, can you hear me?”
It took ages for her to open her eyes but relief flooded him when she did. “So… cold.”
“I know,” he said. He held her tighter to him.
They lay like that for what seemed like hours, listening to the wind howl, the creaks and groans made by the house the only thing to break the silence surrounding them. Rafe wondered where Jesse was. He hoped he was smart enough to stay in town. He couldn’t even fathom the thought of him trying to make it home.
He would never make it.
He put Jesse out of his mind, as hard as it was to do. Worrying wouldn’t help and right now, he needed a level head. Grace required his full attention and he wasn’t about to let her down. He’d spent his life letting those he loved down and he wouldn’t have Grace’s name added to the list.
It took only seconds to realize he listed her among those he loved. The realization shocked him. Lord knows he’d tried not to feel anything where she was concerned. But as he held her in his arms, her sweet breath warming the skin of his neck, he couldn’t deny the truth. He did love Grace. It was why he’d tried so hard to push her away.
Why it took so long to admit he wanted her for his own.
Laying there in the silence with her in his arms, he knew he’d never be able to give her up. He couldn’t let her leave to marry someone else. She was his. She had been from the moment he set eyes on her.
Marriage or not, he’d never let her go.
Chapter Twenty-Five
When the snow accumulated enough to bury half the fence in front of marshal Avery’s place, Jesse knew going home was out of the question. He sighed, stared out the window, and tried to block out the noise in the house.
The snow storm had taken everyone by surprise. Mrs. Avery had continued to teach through most of it, noticing too late to dismiss everyone and get them home, which is why the marshal’s house was so loud. Every kid attending the school was there, bundled in front of the fire drinking hot tea and talking over each other.
Jesse had protested when Mrs. Avery insisted he come to Marshal Avery’s with them. He’d wanted to grab his horse from the livery stable and head home but the adults refused to let him go. That irritated him more than knowing Grace was home alone with Rafe.
Visions filled his head, visions of Rafe making sure there was enough wood to keep the fire burning, of Grace cooking and making the house warm and inviting, and then of the two of them settling in for the night. Of them looking at each other as he’d seen them do so many times before.
They liked each other, that much was obvious. They might even love each other and the thought burned like acid in his gut. Not because he loved Grace, because if he were honest, he’d admit that he didn’t. It was the fact that Rafe didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve anything. Not the farm, not Grace, not a moment’s peace, not after the way he’d treated his family.
He’d abandoned them, run off because some girl didn’t want him. He scoffed at the idea and turned his head when someone squealed. He saw Alexandra Avery when he looked into the study. She was fighting mad, as usual, her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at her step-mother.
She was wearing another dress today, a soft pink affair that made her skin glow and caused her hair to shine. Not that he cared how she looked.
As if she knew he was staring at her, she turned her head and glanced in his direction. Then made a face at him. “What are you looking at, Jesse Samuels?”
He grinned. “The ugliest boy I ever saw.”
Her face turned red, her arms swung down to lay at her sides and she turned on her heel, marched out of the study while her step-mothers voice chased after her to come back.
Alex advanced on him, murder in her eyes. “Take it back, you toad-face, mop-head.”
Jesse laughed and stood up. “Can’t do it,” he said. “My pa taught me to always tell the truth.”
She let out a screech that send chills up his spine and ran at him. He didn’t move fast enough and was tackled to the ground, the full weight of her landing on top of him. “I ain’t no ugly boy! Say it or I’ll pull your ears clean off your head.”
Jesse barely felt the pain when she grabbed his ears in a vise-like grip, he was laughing so hard. The adults were yelling in the background, the other kids, noticing the spectacle, laughing along with him, as Alex’s face turned redder, her hold on him tightening as that murderous look in her eyes darkened.
It was while he was looking up at her that he noticed the tears. They pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill over her lashes and for a brief second, he felt bad for teasing her all the time. She wasn’t ugly. If truth be known, she was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. Well, aside from Grace, that is.
Alex’s slight weight vanished when Marshal Avery suddenly appeared and lifted her, screeching and hissing like a wounded cat, her arms and legs flailing about as the marshal carried her, screaming to the other room. The laughter continued until Abigail Avery hushed the other kids and made them all go back into the parlor.
When the commotion died down, Jesse crawled from the floor, grabbed both his burning ears to see if they were still in place, and glanced into the study where Alex now sat fuming. She
turned her head to him, gave him a look that should have killed him where he stood, and kept her gaze on him through the entire lecture her step-mother gave her.
He heard bits and pieces of it, Alex’s new mother telling her she’d never catch a husband acting the way she did, and Jesse felt sorry for the poor fool who ended up married to Alexandra Avery. That was one hellcat he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy.
He grinned at her, then chuckled when she stuck her tongue out at him, before he turned back to the window. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be stuck in town and with so many people in the house, it would be torture. He hoped some of the parents of these kids came for them soon but that wouldn’t be happening. If the snow was falling too hard for him to leave, it would be too dangerous for anyone to come to town. Like it or not, he was stuck.
The prospect didn’t settle well, not when he remembered the wife he’d ordered was trapped at home with his brother. A man he was sure would take advantage of the situation. Was probably doing so at that very moment.
As much as Jesse hated to admit it, he knew there was something going on between Grace and his brother. He didn’t think they’d acted on those feelings he suspected they had for each other, but with the storm, and him being out of the house, it would probably be the very thing that brought them closer together. He also knew, after all was said and done, that Rafe would ask Grace to marry him. He just had to make sure he was there in time to stop her from saying yes.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Grace woke surrounded by heat. She flexed her fingers, feeling warm skin beneath them, and blinked her eyes open. She wasn’t alone.
Rafe laid beside her, his eyes closed. The fact he was sleeping didn’t surprise her as much as the knowledge that they were in bed together. And if she hadn’t lost every ounce of her wits, she was almost positive they were both very much naked.