“Oh, we had beautiful Christmases there.” Cass smiled softly. “We didn’t get the piles of snow you do here. Just enough to make the world feel special. Our church would do a special dinner for the community. We used to roast chestnuts.”
Her eyes misted softly.
Her husband slid his hands over hers. “Cassy didn’t know what she was getting into when she married a man who was headed to Canada forty-two years ago.”
She smiled softly, and poked her husband in the ribs. “Of course I did.”
Des looked down at his wife. “Yes, but the plan always was that we were going to go back.”
Her eyes met his. “Plans change.”
Benjamin nodded slowly. Yeah, sometimes they did. Remodeling the beloved bed-and-breakfast to make it accessible might be hard, but it still had to be a lot easier than packing up their lives and moving back overseas at their age and stage of life.
“Have you managed to chop down a tree yet?” Cass asked Piper.
“No, not yet. Time sort of got away from me today.”
Benjamin glanced at the clock. “How about I go help you chop down a tree? I’ve still got some time before I need to leave. My sister’s delayed the wedding rehearsal until nine tonight.”
Besides, maybe both conversations they needed to have would be easier if he knew he’d managed to do something productive.
She nodded. “Thank you.”
They didn’t talk much on the drive to the Christmas-tree farm. Benjamin focused his attention on steering down the unpaved back roads through the woods, while Piper gave directions. It was only when the truck came to a stop and he turned off the engine that she turned to him on the seat.
She looked down. “I’m really glad you got a chance to meet Uncle Des and Aunt Cass. They are the most solid people and I’ve always been able to count on them. I owe them my life.”
Then her eyes met his, and for a moment there was something in their depths that reminded him of the rush he got the first time he set eyes on a new path of wilderness. Boundless. Fathomless. Filled with awaiting adventures.
His rational mind kicked him to say what he needed to say. But something deep in his chest rebelled. He needed to tell her he’d had a run-in with Kodiak and let him escape. But first, maybe they should just relax and enjoy this moment. It might be their last chance to ever be alone.
They got out of the truck and walked through the woods without talking, enjoying the easy, comfortable silence they’d fallen into back on the island. Her dark hair was tucked behind her ear, under her bright blue tuque, falling in dark waves around her shoulders in between the folds of her scarf. Snowflakes fell from the sky and swirled around them on the breeze. A glimmer of a smile curled at the corner of her lips.
This was the Piper he remembered from the summer. This was the Piper who’d made him excited to get up out of bed every morning. This was the Piper he’d—
The train of thought caught him up short and made a freezing cold breath catch in his lungs.
He’d what exactly? Been attracted to? Been drawn to?
Had felt himself falling for until his sister reminded him how foolhardy that would be?
“This’ll do. Don’t you think?” Piper stopped in front of a fir tree, at least fifteen feet tall, he’d guess, with thick, lush branches.
“It’s a beauty all right.” He let her pull the ax from his hands. “How were you ever going to cart a tree like this back to the barn by yourself?”
“Oh, I’d have figured something out.” She gripped the ax with both hands and swung. The loud, satisfying sound of the ax hitting the wood echoed through the forest. Her grin grew wider.
His eyes rose to the heavens.
Lord, my flight’s in two days’ time. How can I get on that plane without knowing that Piper is perfectly, totally and utterly safe?
The sound of Piper’s ax swings filled the air around them. He closed his eyes as his prayer deepened.
But I want so much more for her than just safety. I want her to be happy. I want her to have everything she’s hoping for, everything she’s dreamed of, every adventure she’s capable of having.
His heart ached knowing he’d never be the one to give all that to her.
He opened his eyes again, and stared at the ice-covered tree branches above him.
“Timber.” Piper stood back as the tree fell into the snow. “I’ve always loved this part. I might not be as big a fan as Aunt Cass of decorating or planning meals, but I could be out here chopping trees for hours.”
“Well, it suits you.”
Piper swirled the ax around in slow motion. “You think I should give up the bed-and-breakfast business to become a lumberjack?”
“No, I think you should come sail the world with my friends and me.”
NINE
Piper’s jaw dropped. The ax slipped from her hands and sank into the snow at her feet.
“There are several boats on this sailing trip, not just mine.” Benjamin said it so casually, as if he was just inviting her to join him and some buddies for pizza. “One’s an all-women crew and I’m sure they’d have an extra bunk if you wanted to join us for even part of the journey. A few months or a few weeks. Whatever. It wouldn’t have to be a big thing.”
Right, because spending thousands of dollars to fly overseas and go sailing for a while wasn’t a “big thing” at all. Not to mention her responsibilities here.
He ran his hand over the back of his neck. “Bring a friend if you’d like and we’ll find a space for them, too. I don’t even know half of the people I’ll be sailing with. It’s no biggie.”
So now he’d pointed out twice how little the invitation meant to him.
She held his gaze for a long moment. Then she bent down and picked up the ax. “Thank you for the suggestion, but that’s not really something I’d be able to do.”
Even if she did have the time and the money—which she didn’t—how could she possibly consider flying halfway around the world to spend time with someone who’d take something like that so casually? It had been hard enough to forgive her father for bailing on them when she was little and forgive her mom for chasing after a whole string of temporary relationships with men just as unwilling to stay. When Benjamin had walked into the retirement home like that for a split second she’d almost let herself believe that it meant something.
He reached into his pocket, pulled out a thick ball of twine and carefully helped her bind the branches. “I mean, obviously, you’re not going anywhere until those renovations are saved up for and sorted, and your uncle and aunt are able to move back in. But the initial trip will be about a year, and there will hopefully be more group trips after that.”
“Thanks. But I won’t be going anywhere, even after the renovations are done.”
“Oh. All right, then.” His shoulders dropped as if she’d just let the air out of his chest.
They dragged the tree back to the truck in silence and drove back to The Downs.
Piper’s eyes stayed locked on the window.
“I hope I didn’t say the wrong thing or offend you when I suggested you take a holiday from The Downs,” Benjamin said when he’d pulled his truck past the bed-and-breakfast driveway, down the hill and up to the barn. “Your uncle and aunt are obviously amazing people. I know how much they mean to you and I really respect your dedication to running The Downs.”
She pressed her lips together but didn’t trust herself to speak. Was she being oversensitive? After all, it was hardly Benjamin’s fault that he didn’t realize how serious her aunt’s health problems were. She hadn’t told him. But she didn’t know where to start.
The whole thing felt so huge and unwieldy in her head. It was the kind of conversation that took time. Time they didn’t have.
She turned away from
him and looked out her window. All around the property the trees were bent low and some had split from the weight of the ice. A fleeting shadow on the barn roof caught her eye. Please, not raccoons on top of everything else. There had to be at least six feet of snow on the barn roof and by the looks of things the branches of a huge tree were practically smacking the roof in the wind. She should really cut some before one cracked off and fell through the roof.
Benjamin’s eyes glanced at the cell phone mounted in the cradle on the dash. Her eyes followed. Twenty minutes, then he had to go.
Piper undid her seat belt and opened her door. Then she stopped, sat back against her seat and wrapped her arms around herself.
Lord, I need something solid right now. Everything seems to be crumbling around me right now. And my aunt, the strongest, most solid woman I know, is withering away in front of me.
“Hey,” he said softly. “Everything okay?”
“Aunt Cass couldn’t brush her hair this morning. My uncle brushed it for her, even though it probably hurt him a ton because of his arthritis. Not that he’d ever complain.” She ran both hands over her eyes. “Doctors don’t know what’s wrong with her yet. Her limbs are just kind of numb sometimes and don’t work like they should. We’re still in that phase where it’s all tests and waiting.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice was so soft it was barely more than a whisper.
“It’s okay. That’s the way life is sometimes, I guess. But you asked me what’s wrong with her. I don’t know what to say, because we really don’t know. I mean, when you hear words like amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or multiple sclerosis they sound like they should be kind of the same thing, but in reality they’re different and would mean totally different things for her life expectancy or the kind of help she’s going to need in the future. And those are just two of the many things doctors haven’t actually ruled out yet.”
His hand was lying right there on the front seat between them. She reached for it. He wrapped her hand in his and held it tightly.
“Maybe she only has a couple of years left to live, in which case I’m not about to head off on some fantastic trip overseas. I’m going to be here for whatever time she has left. Or maybe she’s going to outlive Uncle Des by a decade or more, in which case she’s going to need someone to live with and make her tea, brush her hair, fix her meals, run The Downs...”
Tears choked the words from her throat. Did he have any idea how helpless this whole situation made her feel? Yeah, more than anyone, Benjamin probably would.
“And you’re going to be there for them.” Benjamin slid across the seat and wrapped his arms around her. “No matter what they need. You’re going to be there.”
She let her head fall against his shoulder. “Yes. I really will.”
Because they took me in where my father abandoned us. Because they raised me when my mom kept wanting to run off chasing whichever man turned her head. Because I love them. Because they’re my family.
A tear slipped down her cheek. He held her tighter.
“I want to apologize.” His lips brushed the top of her head. “I’m really sorry if I ever made it sound like I don’t respect the sacrifices you’re making or how hard you’re working. I think you’re doing an amazing job. I respect you so much—you have no idea.”
For a long moment she didn’t say anything. She just let her body lay in his strength and watched the minutes count down until Benjamin had to leave. Tears filled her eyes and fought to escape her eyelashes. She didn’t pull away. He didn’t her let go.
“Remember that feeling of helplessness?” she asked, “Like everything’s falling apart and you can’t do anything to stop it?”
“I really do. In fact, I feel pretty helpless right now.” Benjamin’s voice dropped. She turned around until they were facing each other. His left hand spread across the small of her back, as his right slid up her cheek. His fingers brushed a tear from the corner of her eye. “I haven’t actually felt this helpless since I was lying flat on my back in a hospital bed with all four limbs in a cast. Only that time was almost easier because the pain was mine to fight. This time it’s not. The pain is yours and I can’t figure out how fix it, even though I’d do anything in my power to make things right for you.”
“I know.” She leaned her forehead against his. “And you can’t. But thank you for wanting to.”
She closed her eyes. She could feel him there, breathing the same inch of frosty air, her tears brushing the soft scruff of his jaw.
Then slowly, as naturally as breathing, his lips found hers. They’d barely met when a loud, incessant ringing filled the cab.
“Your phone!” She pulled back from the kiss.
Benjamin leaped back so quickly his head bumped against the roof. “That’s not my phone. Mine’s not ringing.”
“Well, I don’t have a cell phone. Mine was destroyed yesterday.”
The ringing grew louder and seemed to be coming from the backseat. Benjamin reached around behind him and yanked his bag into his lap. Her jaw dropped. What had he done to his bag? It was filthy and patched with duct tape.
He ripped back the zipper, rummaged around inside and pulled out a phone. “This isn’t mine. I must have accidentally picked it up from the alley.”
“The alley? What alley?”
He glanced at the screen. His face paled.
“Benjamin, what’s going on?”
He held up the phone toward her.
And she saw who the incoming call was from.
Alpha.
TEN
Benjamin stared in disbelief at the ringing phone in his hands. Kodiak must have dropped his phone in the alleyway during the fight and, somehow in all the confusion, Benjamin had scooped it into his bag with his things.
And now Alpha was calling it.
Piper was staring at him now. Her hands rose to her lips. “Why is Alpha calling you?”
“He’s not calling me. This is obviously Kodiak’s phone and I picked it up by mistake when we fought in the alley.” But now what? The only question that really mattered now was whether or not he should risk answering it. His gut was dying to, but if Alpha realized someone else had Kodiak’s phone, it could rob the police of a valuable lead. Lord, I don’t know what to do—
“I don’t understand what’s happening here.” Piper’s voice rose. “What fight in what alley?”
The phone stopped ringing.
Benjamin sighed. Probably just as well he hadn’t answered it.
He looked at her. “After you dropped me off at the garage, I saw a man walk into the alley after you. It was same man we saw smoking outside the bar and I thought he might be following you, so I followed him. He jumped me and we fought. Turned out to be Kodiak.”
Her eyes grew wide.
He glanced down at the phone. The screen read: Missed Call.
“And then?” Piper was still looking at him. Not at the phone in his hand. At him.
“Then he got away, I went to report it to the police and then came to find you and tell you about it.” Only I didn’t tell you. I held off because you seemed to be happy and that made me happy, and I didn’t want to ruin the moment. In fact, he basically tried to leave it to the last possible second. And then, he’d gotten swept up in the feeling of her in his arms, and he’d kissed her. He couldn’t begin to guess what she might think of him now. He didn’t even know what to think of himself. “But that’s the reason my sister agreed to delay the rehearsal.”
“Oh.” Piper sat back on the passenger seat. “So, that’s why you hadn’t left town yet.”
“Well, yeah. Why else did you think I’d still be sticking around here?”
Piper’s eyes dropped to her knees.
Oh. Guilt stabbed Benjamin’s heart. She’d thought he’d come back for her.
The phone started to buzz as texts appeared rapid-fire on the screen.
When I call your phone I expect you to answer!
Did you find Charlotte?
Answer me!
Did you find her?
She told me she was going to the Downs for Christmas!
The messages stopped. Piper leaned in and read over Benjamin’s shoulder.
“He still thinks Kodiak has his phone,” she said. “And apparently Charlotte told him she was coming here. Although there’s no reason why she couldn’t have been lying about that.”
He nodded. “Looks that way.” Now he was grateful he hadn’t answered the phone call. These texts might actually lead to something useful.
The messages faded from the screen. He pressed the unlock button to read them again, but the phone demanded a password. He set it down on the dashboard. “I’m going to drop it off to the police on my way out of town. I was already able to give them a good description of Kodiak without a mask on. Might take them a few days, but hopefully between the phone and that description they’ll have enough to be able to catch the guy.”
She shook her head, then looked straight ahead to the snow falling thick and fresh on the windshield. “You should have told me. Right away. Kodiak tried to kill me. You had no right to hide something like that from me.”
“You were already dealing with a lot.” Heat rose to the back of his neck. “I was trying to protect you.”
She spun back. Her eyes flashed at him. “I never asked you to protect me.”
The phone began to buzz again, rattling across the dashboard toward Piper. She caught it and held the screen up where they could both see it.
Hello? Hello?
Where are you?
She said something about a Christmas thing. Did you check all the Christmas things?
Did you check the brick? I think I heard her say something about bricks to that guy.
You know, that guy she’s cheating on me with!
Christmas Blackout Page 9