I swallowed my words. I wanted to give her little jabs about how her investment in the case had nothing to do with Cal. Alice was too worked up and I didn’t have the energy to go down that route. “I really don’t think there’s any way to get her, you know? There’s just no way to prosecute her without any proof.”
I nodded silently, my eyes trained on the entrance of the coffee shop. I wasn’t waiting for customers or trying to escape from Alice’s chatter like I usually did; I was just preoccupied with everything that was going on. Somewhere along the line, everything seemed to go crazy in my life. That wasn’t at all what I was used to. I had no clue how everything sucked me in like this.
The strangest part about it all was that I didn’t think I wanted it to be any different.
I was genuinely upset and frustrated. I liked NotCat. In such a short span of time I developed a soft spot for that dog. He was quiet and had a funny little personality. But even putting aside my affection for him, what Mrs. Christianson did was awful.
“He’s cute,” I said absentmindedly.
Alice rounded on me with a smirk, “Who is? Who’s cute, Cassie?”
I practically glared at her and laughed while shaking my head. She was way too giddy about her ‘gossip time’. She was probably thinking I was finally going to talk about Hunter or something.
I cleared my throat and clarified, “NotCat, Alice. The dog is cute.”
“Oh,” she said, downtrodden.
I laughed again, “You were a little too giddy for a second.”
“Can you blame me?”
I pointedly ignored the question. “He fell asleep in the crook of my knees. You know that night you abandoned me to be with your boyfriend? Well, NotCat-”
“He is not my boyfriend! What the hell,” Alice said a bit too defensively.
“Okay then,” I said without missing a beat, “Anyway. That night, NotCat curled up in the crook of my knees and fell asleep. It was so cute.”
“Was this before or after you fucked Hunter?”
I wanted to play this moment off as coolly as I needed to, “We were on the couch in the living room. I told you, it was after you forgot I existed so you could go have some fun with your-”
“ANYWAY,” Alice interrupted, drawing stares from a couple of the customers. She smiled at them sheepishly and apologized before turning back to me, “That’s a cute story, Cass. Really cute.”
What I failed to mention was that it was on the couch in Hunter’s bedroom. And it was after we had done the deed and had finally gone inside to curl up and get some sleep. It was just before we finally got into bed for the night. I couldn’t tell Alice that, though. She’d never let it go and I really didn’t want to get into all that with her.
“It’s almost as cute,” Alice said suddenly, a couple minutes later, “As you and Hunter.”
“I don’t know what that means,” I said flatly.
I knew exactly what Alice was getting at, but I refused to give in. I was determined to remain tight-lipped about the whole thing and play it cool. I just hoped some facial expression, a crack in my voice, or a blush didn’t give me away. I wasn’t the best liar.
“Right,” Alice mumbled, “You two are cute together, you know that? It’s really like those ‘opposites attract’ situations, but it just works.”
“Alice,” I said, trying to sound uninterested.
“Cass, it’s pretty obvious that you’re not… Look, all I’m saying is you don’t talk about him or to him the way you used to. That kind of change isn’t something that goes unnoticed. What happened? Why’d you finally come around?”
“I guess being forced to keep his company beat me into submission,” I muttered.
“Oh, come on, it’s not even like that. Besides, you two don’t have to become buddies and get all close just because you’re left alone.”
I looked at Alice and, without realizing, my face gave it away. There was a knowing look in her eyes.
There was no use lying to her anymore.
Later that night when I got out of the shower my phone rang. I rolled my eyes the moment I saw it was my mother.
“Hi mom.” I said, trying to sound cheerful.
“Hey Cass! How are things going?”
“Things are going good. I-”
“That’s great honey!” She cut in me before I even had a chance to continue. It wasn’t completely unlike her to run my sentences over when there was something she wanted to talk about. “Listen dear, your father and I were talking today.”
My eyebrows shot up as I gave a sarcastic, “uh huh”. I wasn’t looking forward to whatever this was going to be.
“He would have called you instead, but he’s at a meeting at the school.”
“Okay…”
“He was wondering if you’ve accomplished any of your goals in Vail?”
I hated hearing that word. Goals. It gave me anxiety. I considered myself a goal oriented person. I was always hyper focused on punctuality and professionalism, but when it came to real life goals—I froze up.
“Yea, mom. I think I’ve been learning a lot about myself.”
“That’s good honey. I told him not to worry about you, that you needed time to experience life and the world without your parents breathing down your neck.” I rolled my eyes yet again at her. It was ironic that she said that, even though she called me every night. “He’s just concerned that you might be wasting time in Vail.”
“I’m not wasting my time.” I scoffed. It was believable that my dad would say something like that.
“I know you’re not honey. I told him that no one waists their time if they’re actually living, you know?”
“Yea…” I said as if I knew what she was talking about. My mom always said things like that and before I just shrugged my shoulders and forgot about it. But now, For the first time in my life I thought I actually understood what she was saying. Everything I experienced with Hunter felt alive and thrilling. But it terrified me at the same time. It felt unstable. Almost like it was a burning building and at some point, everything would come crashing down.
“Have you made any friends other than Alice? I know one of the reasons you wanted to leave Boone was because your friends here weren’t as serious about life as you.” She chuckled.
“Yea, I’ve made some friends.” I gulped as I thought about all the reasons I came to Vail in the first place. It was to get away from the college kid nonsense of drinking every weekend, sleeping around, and not taking life as seriously as I did. My heart felt like it dropped.
I left North Carolina to escape that kind of stuff and I ended up right back in it. Even in Vail I wasn’t safe from people like that. Hunter, Cal, even Alice were those types of people.
“Your dad was telling me that you could easily get in for the spring semester here in Boone if you wanted? We know you’ve played around with the idea of medical school.”
“I don’t know if that’s right for me.” I said looking down to the ground.
“I know honey. And that’s okay! I know you don’t really know what you want to do in life yet. But don’t worry, you still have time.”
I cringed. I hated when she said out loud that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life. I hated it because it was true. I was already twenty-one years old—three years out of high school. I had only gone to college for a year before dropping out because I didn’t know what career path I wanted to take. I just couldn’t figure myself out. I always made good grades. I always showed up to class on time and completed assignments before anyone else, but I was too scared to get three or four years into a degree that I didn’t want. So, I just quit and moved to Vail in an attempt to ‘find myself’.
But deep down I knew the truth.
I was running away from it all.
What hurt even more was coming all the way to Vail and meeting somebody like Hunter. He looked like a slacker. He looked like the typical college guy who grabbed the nearest pair of jeans off the floor and made his
way to the coffee shop. He initially came across as an inexperienced jokester who didn’t have his life together. But that was just the service. Underneath he had accomplished more in several years than must people would in a lifetime.
And there I was—the total opposite.
I was totally put together, always on time, and always acted with the utmost professionalism. If people met me, they’d think I had my shit together. But I was a wreck underneath. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life. I just acted like I did.
I said my goodbyes with my mom, hung up the phone, then stared at the wall for a while as I re-examined my life.
I came all the way to Vail to hide from the fact that I didn’t know what I wanted in life.
I had to go back to North Carolina, pick a life path, and stick to it. The people in Vail weren’t right for me.
Hunter wasn’t right for me.
“He’s not right for you Cass. He’s not the same kind of person you are.” I said out loud to the wall. It made logical sense. But when I said it out loud, it hurt inside.
I pushed my feelings down and tried to ignore them.
I knew what I had to do.
I drew in a deep breath as I climbed out of the Uber car. After shoving a wad of cash through the window, hoping to God I remembered the house number, I turned to face the large log house. One look at it told me all I needed to know. This was Hunter’s place for sure. There was no way it could be mistaken. I started walking up the path to his house when I heard rustling in the bushes.
Then a low growl.
Only one thing crossed my mind—bear.
I stopped for a split second before bolting to the front door in a panic. I half expected a big furry monster to grab ahold of me from behind and put me out of my misery for good.
I started pounding on the door frantically.
Just as I was about to shout out, Hunter pulled it open. I stood in front of him with my mouth hanging open and my fists above my head. He looked at me, bewildered, before smiling in amusement. I was too afraid to care. I pushed past him, inviting myself inside, before poking my head out the door to see if I could catch a glimpse of the beast outside.
That was when I saw NotCat hobbling after me with his oversized cast.
He walked right up to the door and looked up at me with his grumpy yet loving expression. I was blushing fire engine red with embarrassment. I couldn’t believe I had just made a scene because of the dog. I crouched down to pet him and laughed awkwardly before straightening up and finally turning to face Hunter.
“Did I just save you from the three-legged, hobbling monster?” He laughed, “that would have been a terrible death.”
“It could have been a bear, okay. How was I supposed to know it was just your dog?”
“Technically, he isn’t my dog.”
I shot him a look of irritation before looking away and staring at NotCat. He was now hobbling away, making his way to the cushion in the corner of the living room. I looked at him for a moment and pushed away my upset feelings about Mrs. Christianson getting away with hurting him.
I had played the scenario in my head the whole way over to Hunter’s house. I was supposed to be telling him I was going back to North Carolina. I knew I wouldn’t technically be breaking up with him because we were never technically together.
But it felt like a break-up.
After the scare with the big ferocious “bear” I looked like a fool. Now I stood in front of him feeling like a nervous schoolgirl. All the while, I was just hoping he’d drop the whole shenanigan.
“I…umm…” my voice trailed off as I looked away.
Hunter turned around and walked toward the kitchen. I stood there silently, not knowing what to do.
“Wine?”
I turned to look down the hallway. I slowly walked to the kitchen and saw him standing at the end of it. I felt a bizarre sense of déjà vu as he led me to the wine vault. It felt like something was tumbling in my stomach, but this time there was no surprise hoisting up into the air. Hunter just quickly grabbed a bottle and before I could even answer, he was already pouring two glasses. He handed one to me.
“Where’s Cal?” I was so desperate to say anything that I just blurted out the first question that popped into my mind.
Hunter took a deep breath, “Pretty sure he’s taking a dump in Mrs. Christianson’s hot tub, but I’m not certain. If I were being honest, I’d rather not know because at least then I could plead ignorance.”
It would be just like Cal to do something so immature and have Hunter egg him on. Still, I laughed. The thought alone was pretty funny. It was a genuine, wholehearted laugh. It was the type I rarely showed people, least of all Hunter. It wasn’t lost on me when he looked at my face, all smiles and shining eyes. I felt the tumbling in my stomach start up again. It set off a fluttering in my chest. It was all so cheesy, but I couldn’t help wondering if he was feeling something similar. I was curious to know just how much he truly enjoyed hearing me laugh.
Then my thoughts turned back to reality. I started thinking about why I was really there.
“Thanks for the wine,” I said after the first sip, eyes looking to the ground.
“Thanks for the visit,” he shot back.
I gave a little smile, “So you are glad to see me?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
I shrugged. I went over to his house to end things with him. As much as I wanted to flip the switch and go through with it, I couldn’t.
“You have a really pleasant laugh.”
“I- I do? I mean… Thanks.”
Hunter set his glass of wine down and chuckled, “It’s a compliment. Take it.”
“I did take it,” I pointed out.
“Then that’s all I could ask for, right?” He smiled.
I stayed quiet. He always made it easy to talk to him. I had even flirted with him, but now, for some reason, I was just a bundled-up ball of nerves. Maybe it was because I finally accepted I had real feelings for him. Or maybe it was because I finally accepted that I needed to leave Vail.
“So,” he interrupted my thoughts, “What brings you over?”
“I… I wanted some wine.” I joked. I cursed myself inside my head for not following through with my plan. But I couldn’t tell him I was breaking things off with him now. It would be too awkward.
Hunter laughed and pushed the bottle toward me, “You can have it all.”
“I want it all,” I responded playfully.
He smirked and moved in closer, “I’m sure you do. You’ve certainly made it clear before.”
I gulped down the rest of my drink and decided I needed to put an end to this. This was my moment. I wasn’t going to let this keep going, especially not when my initial plan was ruined by NotCat.
I could have started calling him ‘NotBear’ after that little incident.
But before I had a chance to spit out the words, Hunter took one last sip of wine and set the glass down carefully, his eyes glued to me as he walked toward me. I froze. I couldn’t say anything. I wanted to tell him this wasn’t going to work between us. But then he grabbed ahold of me and pulled me against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and resisted the urge to turn my head and place it on his chest.
He looked deep into my eyes as he ran his hand through my rich, brown ringlets. He tugged at one and it came up with a bounce, making him smile. He was admiring all the little things about me. I suddenly felt a ball of nerves tighten in my stomach. Each time we were together the intimacy went up another notch. There were real feelings, strong feelings, now. I wanted to convince myself that he was like any other douchebag guy and he didn’t really care about me. Even though it would make leaving him easier, I knew it wasn’t true. Why else would he be taking his time stroking my arm so gently? Why else would he want to run his thumb over the apples of my cheeks and take in every inch of me?
Hunter took a deep breath and tightened his arms around my waist. I felt one of his hands open
flat on my lower back, moving it in small circles. I let out a small noise of enjoyment and leaned forward into his body. Once again, this wasn’t going according to plan. My visit was supposed to be the exact opposite of this. But now I couldn’t help but melt into his touch.
It felt so good to just be in his arms, breathing in his scent.
He pulled me in so my body was flush against his and that was when I felt him press into my leg. I breathed with a smile, drawing my head back to look at him. A sigh escaped his mouth. The way he touched me, the way he looked at me—this time was different.
“So?” I whispered.
“You know where my bedroom is,” he told me with a grin. I smirked and took the bait. I walked away from him and headed upstairs. I stepped inside and turned to look at him, nodding toward the doorknob.
As soon as he clicked the lock into place I was flying onto him. I flung my arms around his neck. I drew in a deep breath and felt his arm wrap around my waist and pull me in tight. I pressed my lips to his cheek and then to the other before pulling back and looking into his eyes. My hands slipped down to rest on his chest, loving the way my palms trailed over his hard muscles.
My breasts pressed into him as I pushed into his body. I wanted to be as close to him as possible. I wanted to feel every inch of his skin on mine. I moved onto the tips of my toes to give him more kisses. I let out a little tremble as I felt him getting harder against my leg. He groaned and tightened his grip on my waist.
He smelled and felt so amazing that I felt like it could take me to another world– a world full of pleasure and satisfaction. It was the sort of feeling that sent warmth over my skin. A fire erupted in the pit of my stomach and traveled between my legs.
“Kiss me,” he whispered.
“I’ve been kissing you, silly,” I said teasingly.
Hunter ran his hand up my back and pulled me impossibly close, “Kiss me for real.”
I ran my fingers through the lush locks on his head. Tracing my hand through his hair was addicting. I felt my heart stutter when he leaned in, stopping short of my lips. I saw the hungry, passionate glow in his eyes and the fire raged inside of me. I slowly lowered my gaze to his lips before bridging the gap, closing my eyes the moment my lips touched his. They melded perfectly, smoothly together as the two of us sunk into a deep, slow kiss. For all the passion he had in his eyes and the heat raging in my body, the kiss was soft and sweet.
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