She sat rather primly with her hands in her lap, her mind flitting back to the last time she’d been in a car with a man. Then it had been with James. Gliding along the motorway in his company car on their way to a meeting with suppliers, she’d felt very much at home in that situation – quite smug if truth be told, in her new charcoal-grey suit and pale-blue silk shirt. The meeting had been at a clothing manufacturer’s in Manchester, James determined to reduce costs and negotiate a better deal for Bremners – which of course he had.
They had stopped for dinner at a small restaurant on the way back. It had been ludicrously expensive and they didn’t have a booking but James had handled it – on account obviously – securing them a table which just happened to be an intimate table for two discreetly tucked in the corner.
He’d had to take a few business calls during the meal – it was difficult for him to ever switch off – but James had talked that night about the new growth markets and the possibilities of opening up a Bremners store in the Far East to capitalise on their love of all things Scottish. Lily had envisaged herself being involved in a secondment to China or perhaps a role working with James in Dunn Equity. After all, she knew how the company operated, she had been a team player, embraced all the changes. It didn’t really matter what the role was, either way she and James would be together. Lily almost cringed now thinking how none of it had materialised, how it had all been in her head and she felt the familiar twist of disappointment in her stomach thinking about it.
Jack’s voice filtered into her thoughts, keeping his eyes on the road as he spoke. ‘So what are your plans for today?’
A good question and not one she had a ready answer for. ‘I don’t really know.’ She explained the situation briefly to him about finding the stock. She thought it all sounded somewhat random, a bit of a wild goose chase. ‘I don’t even know if she’ll be there.’
Jack shrugged, indicating it was no big deal. ‘Just play it by ear. Sometimes that’s the best way. It’s a good place to visit anyway. There’s a castle, gardens and a café so there’s plenty to do.’
Lily nodded vaguely. Playing it by ear wasn’t how she usually operated. She much preferred to have a plan and stick to it. But today, hurtling through the Highlands with a virtual stranger on her way to meet someone she didn’t know, she thought it was fair to say she didn’t have a plan.
Last night she’d gathered together all the scattered paperwork and for three hours she had forgotten everything else, losing herself in the numbers and figures, meticulously making her way through the invoices. All the stock had been bought and paid for which certainly made life easier and she reckoned the value of the stock could simply be included in the sale of the shop.
The only complication appeared to be all the products from Beth at Highland Aromatics, none of which had been paid for and she hoped today she would at least be able to tie up that particular loose end.
They had left the village behind now, their surroundings growing ever more remote as they drove through valleys and glens, the heather-clad purple mountains roaring up to the sky, looking simultaneously imposing and beautiful at the same time. Lily had never seen such space, even the sky seemed huge.
She tried not to think about what would happen if the car broke down but then decided Jack was more than capable of fixing an engine. He had that look about him, she thought, glancing surreptitiously at his hands which were broad, tanned and strong-looking. He drove with concentration but steered the vehicle with ease, seeming at one with his wild, rugged surroundings.
Lily reckoned she’d probably be hopelessly lost by now if she’d ever attempted this drive by herself. And while Jack Armstrong had this strange ability to make her feel oddly ruffled, she supposed she was at least grateful for him stepping in to help today.
‘Thanks for doing this.’
He glanced over with a smile. ‘As I said, I was going this way anyway.’
‘You said you were going to the estate?’ she asked.
He nodded. ‘To the distillery actually, to see my friend.’
Lily remembered when Bremners had decided to expand their range of whisky and whisky products and she’d worked alongside the buyer. With impeccable taste and effortlessly stylish herself, Arabella’s job was to research and evaluate the products that would ultimately end on Bremners’ shelves. Lily had enjoyed helping her do some background research into the whisky industry and found it fascinating.
She’d read about the process and art of blending whisky, how wooden casks that had once held port or rum affected its flavour and how only whisky made in Scotland could be called Scotch whisky.
There was a romanticism to whisky, something about holding a glass in your hand knowing the passion and history behind it, which people found beguiling. And although it was a multimillion-pound industry with a huge market it was also a very competitive and challenging one, with over a hundred distilleries in Scotland.
‘Which distillery is it?’ she asked.
‘Dallochmore. It’s a relatively small operation.’
Lily hadn’t heard of it but was interested. ‘Is it on the estate?’
Jack nodded. ‘It’s owned by the Montgomery family – they bought the land and outbuildings from the estate years ago. Jock’s been at the helm for years but he’s retired now and it’s his son Adam who’s taken over – we grew up together.’
A shadow crossed Jack’s features but it passed as quickly as it came. ‘He’s been in Canada for a while but he’s back now and taken over the running. He’s keen to get involved with this whisky festival event coming up and for some reason thinks my brains are worth picking.’ He gave a self-deprecating smile.
Lily recalled visiting one of the distilleries in the area years ago. She’d been too young to truly appreciate the experience and definitely too young to taste any of the whisky but something of that day had always stayed with her. ‘Whisky festival sounds like fun,’ she said.
‘Should be,’ Jack agreed with a quick smile. ‘Plus my sister works at the distillery so I’ll see her and that’ll earn me a whole load of points with my mum.’
‘Your family live around here?’
He nodded. ‘I grew up in the village next along from Carroch with my parents, three sisters and a brother.’
‘Sounds busy.’
‘Chaotic at times,’ he admitted with a low chuckle. ‘Only my youngest sister still lives at home now so my mum’s always thinking up ways to get as many of under the same roof at the same time. Christmas, birthdays, days ending in a y – any excuse will do.’
Lily smiled but felt the familiar pang in her chest. She never dwelled on not having all those family occasions but that didn’t stop her imagining what it would be like. A family of her own one day was a dream she held deep within her, to have what other people had and so often took for granted. But she rarely allowed herself to picture it – what was the point? Fate, chance, luck or whatever it was might see that it never happened for her.
‘And you?’ Jack’s voice filtered through. ‘Do you have a large family?’
‘No. It was just my mum and me.’ She turned to look out of her window, speaking in a matter-of-fact manner that hopefully conveyed it wasn’t an area she wanted to elaborate on.
Thankfully, Jack seem to pick up on it and waited a couple of moments before moving on. ‘So what’s your job then?’
‘My job?’ she echoed.
‘You said you had to get back to it.’
‘Oh yes. Well, actually I’m between jobs,’ she told him. ‘But I’ve got a few things lined up,’ she lied, thinking back to last night when she’d managed to find something not quite right with every job she’d seen. Perhaps she just hadn’t been in the mood.
‘What is it you do?’
‘I’m an accountant.’
He nodded thoughtfully but remained silent.
‘I worked in Bremners department store for the past six years, dealing with their financial matters.’ For some inexplicabl
e reason she wanted Jack to know how much she’d loved her job, how much responsibility she’d had and for the next few minutes heard herself babble on about profitability and growth, controlling expenditure and the intricacies of taxes and audits before stopping herself. She was beginning to sound like she single-handedly ran Scotland’s finances.
‘Sounds like a lot of pressure,’ he commented.
‘Well, some jobs are more stressful than others I guess,’ she responded rather waspishly.
He glanced over at her. ‘You were happy?’
‘Of course I was.’ Lily frowned. It seemed a strange and personal question to ask someone you hardly knew. Besides, her career was about much more than happiness. It gave her independence, security, the sanctuary of routine. But she wouldn’t expect him to understand any of that.
‘That’s all that matters then,’ he nodded. ‘I tried all that corporate stuff.’ He sounded contemptuous, waving a hand dismissively. ‘Guess it’s just wasn’t for me.’
That didn’t surprise Lily in the least. She certainly had difficulty picturing Jack moving in business circles or being tied to a desk all day.
As they had continued to travel, the road had started to curve inwards and Lily could see Highland ponies and sheep grazing amongst the grasses and rocky moorland. The wilderness was quite spectacular but the Land Rover made easy work of the terrain as they rattled over cattle grids and then over a stone bridge which crossed a burn tumbling down from the hills. After a while they turned off the main road and Lily became aware Jack had shifted gears and was slowing down.
Her pulse quickened. Oh my God, he was stopping in the middle of nowhere.
He stopped, cutting off the engine. He turned and looked at her, his face breaking into a grin. ‘Don’t look so worried. I want to show you something. Come on.’ He swung open his door and raced round to her side.
She stepped out, still unnerved. They were literally miles from anywhere. Lily didn’t have any choice but to follow him as he strode ahead, clambering over a few rocks to a raised ridge of land. Her trainers weren’t really designed for this sort of thing and she almost lost her footing. Slightly out of breath, she came to stand beside him.
‘Look,’ he said.
Lily trailed after his gaze as he stared into the distance. The scenery was certainly impressive but no different from the miles they’d just driven through – if anything it was just more remote and she couldn’t help thinking it was a fairly desolate spot to stop.
Even on a summer’s day like today, the landscape held a certain bleakness and despite the sun, Lily shivered, impatient to move. But Jack didn’t seem to be going anywhere. He stood still, seemingly with all the time in the world.
Suppressing a sigh, Lily loosened her shoulders, forcing herself to try and relax. She inhaled deeply and the air was so fresh and tinged with such sweetness she could almost taste it. Soaring high above them two birds of prey swooped by in an elaborate display of dipping and diving. She scanned the distance again, this time more slowly. And then she saw it.
A solitary tree on the moor. Bent and windswept, it was clinging onto the crags.
On first appearance it looked withered, almost dead. But as Lily continued to study it, she realised it was alive, somehow managing to survive in these harsh surroundings. There was something so beautifully rugged and wild about it, Lily could hardly tear her eyes away from it.
‘It’s extraordinary,’ she said, not sure there was a right word to encapsulate its raw beauty.
‘I must have driven this way a thousand times,’ Jack said. ‘Head down, eyes on the road. One day a deer suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I don’t know who got more of a fright – him or me. I was shaking so I got out and walked around for a bit. And then I saw the tree.’ He pointed to it. ‘I stayed for a long time, just thinking. About how short and precious life is.’
Jack stared into the distance. His expression was inscrutable but Lily could see something hidden in the depths of his eyes which suggested there was more to Jack Armstrong than she’d thought. She certainly hadn’t been expecting this moment of quiet reflection.
‘I promised myself that day that I’d never drive by here without stopping. I decided there and then that I always wanted to be able to take time and appreciate what I had around me.’
Lily knew he was right, of course; how easy it was to rush around, never stopping to appreciate something simple. She knew she was certainly guilty of it. It was so peaceful here, the silence reminding her just how much she’d been on autopilot over past few months – rushing around, climbing to some elusive point. But then it must be easier to catch peaceful moments in a place like this, far from crowds, buildings and noise.
‘How does it survive in these conditions?’ she asked him.
‘Probably because of its elevated position - it means sheep and deer can’t get to it.’
‘What kind of a tree is it?’
‘A rowan tree. They say they’re magical trees. They’re supposed to symbolise courage, wisdom and protection. People plant them close to their houses to keep away evil spirits.’ He waggled his eyebrows. ‘Tourist like that stuff.’
‘And you don’t?’ she smiled.
‘Not so sure about the magic bit,’ he replied with a grin. ‘You look cold, let’s get you back inside. The estate’s not far from here.’
Jack started up the engine again and Lily fastened her seatbelt trying to work out how she felt. For those few moments, she’d felt so far removed from reality, almost as if she’d slipped into some alternative universe. For a moment she had felt totally free, something she hadn’t experienced before. It was strange to think of Edinburgh now, only a few hours away. Pavements packed with people, buses and taxis and trundling along roads and the constant noise and movement. Lily thought of her life there. On some levels it seemed like an empty existence. No family, no friends she saw regularly. And a relationship with a man that had been a fantasy in her head. She hadn’t regarded herself as lonely but deep down she knew she had been.
Lily sat back in her seat as Jack drove away and felt an unexpected core of calmness within her. She was suddenly very glad Jack had stopped today and hadn’t chosen to drive by just because she’d been there.
The road started to flatten out and as they drove along the estate road, Jack pointed in the direction of the formal gardens and castle where Lily could just see the grey ornamental turrets visible through leafy green foliage of the trees. Jack turned the land rover in the other direction along a road lined with bright yellow daffodils and then drew up close to a group of small cottages. He cut the engine and turned to her.
‘Hope it all goes okay.’ He seemed to sense her sudden nerves. ‘I can come with you if you like?’
‘I’ll be fine. But thanks.’
They agreed where to meet again in a couple of hours and Lily made her way towards the cottages. Stone-built and picture perfect, they were clustered around a courtyard and separated by small front gardens. Lily scanned each of their wooden name plaques until she found Taigh-na-bruich.
She walked up the path and was met by the scent of the honeysuckle which wound its way up and round the side of the house. Taking a breath, she rapped the brass knocker against the red painted door and then stood back, feeling the heat of the sun on the back of her head.
There was a window to the side of the door and Lily could see a large white cat sitting on the sill, its cool disdain reminding her of Misty, who she’d left this morning basking in her own spot of sunlight. Purring contently and with her small white paws tucked neatly under herself, she had showed no signs of moving anytime soon but Lily had left her some extra biscuits just in case she was delayed for any reason.
Perhaps she hadn’t knocked hard enough. Either that or no one was here and it had been a mistake to just turn up unannounced. Lily knocked again and to her relief, after another few moments the door was opened by a woman.
She was wearing jeans and a loose shirt, her thick dark hair ti
ed in a loose ponytail. Slim to the point of thin, there was an air of wariness about her, almost a fragility. Her face was pale and dark circles marked the skin beneath her large brown eyes, but Lily could see the fine bone structure of a beautiful woman.
She wore a quizzical expression and Lily realised she wasn’t likely to get many passers-by here. She tried to smile reassuringly. ‘Beth?’
‘Yes,’ she replied cautiously.
‘Hello. My name is Lily, I’m Patty Ballantine’s daughter.’
There was a pause. Lily could see her making the connections and then she drew in a breath.
‘Oh, of course,’ she said, her frown easing slightly.
Lily wasn’t sure what to say next, she didn’t want to suddenly blurt out that her mother had died. Sensing her hesitation, Beth regarded her with concern. ‘Is everything all right?’
‘I wondered, could I come in for a moment?’
‘Yes of course, sorry,’ she flustered, widening the door.
Lily followed her down a narrow hallway which opened up into a kitchen at the back of the house. ‘I tend to live in here,’ she told Lily who immediately understood why. Two plump sofa chairs sat either side of a wood-burner, a pile of logs stacked up to one side. An oak table covered with books and magazines sat in the middle of the room and there were several shelves crammed with pottery and framed photographs. Lily thought it looked wonderfully cosy and cluttered.
Before she said anything else, Lily thought she had better explain right away why she was here. ‘I’m so sorry to have to tell you, but my mother passed away.’
‘Oh.’ The lady lifted a hand to her mouth and for a terrible moment Lily thought she might cry. ‘I’m so sorry … you must be devastated. What happened?’
Lily explained about the aneurysm, how Patty had been in Edinburgh at the time and how Lily had only come to deal with the shop now. ‘I found the delivery with your products along with your note and I wanted to speak to you in person.’
The Little Gift Shop on the Loch Page 8