“Scared?” I asked, “Scared of what?”
“Living.”
I fell silent and leaned back in my chair. As annoyed as I was with Audra, I couldn’t find it in me to argue with her anymore. She hit on a touchy subject that I didn’t want to explore. It was bad enough having to picture Logan’s face. I didn’t think I could handle having a conversation about him.
Jack sat beside Audra with a concerned look. He’d always worried about me, from the time I was a little girl and he and Audra started going out. He was a good brother, a good husband to my sister. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ignore my sister and focus on Jack.
“Jack,” I said pointedly. “How’s work going?”
“Oh,” Jack said. He glanced at Audra who just shook her head and sighed. “It’s really good. Things have been…”
Jack launched into an explanation about how wonderful business had been lately. The repair shop he owned was the only one in town, so it wasn’t like he had competition, but it was his pride and joy. He loved that shop almost as much as he loved his family. It was his goal in life to pass it down to his sons when they grew up.
I listened to the rise and fall of Jack’s voice, not catching every word, but happy to be sitting there listening to him. Despite what Audra thought, I did miss being in Bradberry. It was nice to see her and Jack. It was nice to see my cousins and even Aunt Miriam. As much as I hated to admit it, I was even happy to see my parents. There was only one thing keeping me away from Bradberry and it didn’t have anything to do with my family.
The door clanged open behind me and I turned around instinctively. I expected to see another relative or family friend walk through the door and grab a pint, but instead my eyes fell on a familiar face. The exact face I had been picturing moments before.
Logan walked further into the pub, his eyes scanning the room. He looked bigger than the last time I saw him, stronger. His muscles were threatening to tear apart his suit coat and his tie seemed too tight around his neck. Still, he looked handsome. More than handsome. My eyes roamed over his body and his face, glad that he hadn’t seen me yet. I felt glued to my chair. I wanted to move, to run before he saw me, but I couldn’t. My entire body felt heavy.
“What is he doing here?” I heard a voice ask, but it took me a minute to realized it was mine.
“I don’t know…” Audra said, but her words were lost as Logan’s eyes finally found mine. We stared at each other for a fraction of second before my body suddenly felt light and I jumped to my feet. Without a word, I ran toward the back of the pub and disappeared out into the alleyway out back. I didn’t stop running until I was several streets away and breathing heavily.
My heart was racing and my forehead was dripping with sweat, but I didn’t care. I sat down on a curb and put my head between my knees. I told myself to breathe, that I was being ridiculous, but my mind was still racing.
Why was Logan at Kellan’s? Why would he show up to the wake? Was it to see me? Or was it to see…
I sat up and shook my head roughly. My thoughts were running away from me and I had to pull myself together. When Audra accused me of being scared to live I knew she was right. I didn’t want to admit it, but there was a truth to her statement that I couldn’t ignore. Ever since Logan broke my heart, I had been hiding. Ever since that night, I had been terrified of everything…
Seven
Logan
My first thought was that I should turn around and go home. I walked up to Kellan’s and stopped just before I made it to the door. There were people covering every inch of the patio. Some were walking to and from their cars, others were crowded around tables drinking and talking animatedly. My stomach felt weak as I finally took a step forward and pulled open the door. Screw this, if I was going to do it, I was going to fucking do it.
Immediately, I began looking around for her. I could feel pairs of eyes tracking my every move. I knew I should get a beer and find somewhere to sit down, but I needed to see her face first. Just once. Piper’s Uncle Jeff was someone I’d only met in passing since I’d moved back to Bradberry. He was a loner, the kind of guy who never married or had children. He only left his house to see his family and even that was an imposition for him.
Still, when I found out he passed, I was sad. My heart ached for the whole Prewitt family, but mostly for Piper. She hadn’t seen him in years, that much I knew, but I imagined the funeral would still be hard for her. I wanted to be there for her. So, even though I knew I shouldn’t, I went to Kellan’s hoping I would get a chance to talk to her again.
My eyes continued to roam around the room, searching for those curls and bright blue eyes. It wasn’t until I looked to the far corner of the bar that I saw her. She was sitting at a table with her sister Audra and her brother-in-law Jack. All three of them were staring right at me. They looked like they’d seen a ghost.
Not Uncle Jeff.
Me.
My heart skipped uncomfortably when my eyes met Piper’s. She didn’t look angry or upset. Her mouth was hanging slightly open in shock. In those few seconds, I took in every detail of her face. I let myself stare openly at her long, dark curls. They were cascading down her back and I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through them. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her lips looked exactly like they always did right before I kissed them. After all those years of picturing her, I never imagined she could look even more beautiful.
When I found her eyes again, she was still staring at me with that same uncertain expression. She looked like she wanted to run screaming from the bar, but something was holding her in her seat. Her eyes were locked on mine, she was staring at me with an intensity I would recognize anywhere…
It was two months into our relationship. Piper and I had somehow found our way to the backseat of my car and were making out like our lives depended on it. We never needed much encouragement, Piper and me. So long as we were alone, our bodies were wrapped tightly around each other. As our lips pressed together again and again, and our tongues danced gently, my entire body was alive with a fire I never wanted to put out. Piper had a way of tempting me like no one else ever had. Just one look from her and I was putty in her hands.
Piper pulled away to catch her breath, her eyes finding mine. They were sparkling with something that could only be described as pure desire. Fuck. I knew she wanted me and that made her even sexier. I tangled my fingers in her hair and pulled her lips back to mine. I kissed her fiercely while she moaned against my lips. The sound made my cock pulse. My hands roamed down her body until they reached her hips. I dug my fingers into the skin between her shirt and her jeans as I lifted her up gently. She kicked her leg over me and straddled my lap, our lips still fused together.
I pulled her shirt over her head and threw it into the front seat of the car. She shoved my chin up so she could kiss my neck. I was breathing heavily as my hands searched frantically for the waistline of her jeans. She knew what I wanted. She always did.
She was dirty like that.
In one smooth motion, she lifted herself up just slightly so I could unbutton her jeans. Then, she slid her legs out of them, never leaving my lap. I groaned and kissed her again, my tongue desperately tasting hers.
As we kissed, I laid her down against the seat and quickly tore my clothes from my body. Her hand was on my cock immediately. She stroked me slowly, teasing me mercilessly.
“Piper…” I moaned, my hips moving instinctively along with her strokes.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I threw myself on top of her and kissed every inch of her skin that I could reach. She tasted so sweet, delicious even.
Lifting her up, I tucked my hand under her back and unclasped her bra. My tongue was on her nipples in an instant. I kissed and licked and nibbled them until her back was arched and her moans were unbearable.
“I want you…” I whispered in her ear as I slowly slid my hand inside of her panties.
“Logan,” her voice was rough and low when she s
aid my name. I almost melted into her at the sound. Damn, she didn’t know how good she was.
Instead, my fingers explored her wetness with slow, methodical circles that made her legs tremble. There were beads of sweat pouring down her breasts. I leaned down to lick them as I continued to play with her.
“Please,” she whispered with desperation. “Logan, please.”
That was all I needed to hear. I slid her panties off and threw them impatiently away. I pulled us both up so she was straddling me again. Piper’s hands tangled themselves in my hair as she lowered herself down on top of me. When I was finally inside of her, I growled deeply and buried my face in her neck.
Our bodies moved together perfectly. We rocked and thrusted and held tightly to each other. I could feel our sweat mingling and our breathing was becoming more and more erratic. Piper held tightly to my shoulders as she leaned back and continued to ride me. Hard. My hands dug into her hips as we moved faster and faster.
My eyes roamed freely over Piper’s body. The bounce of her breasts. The curve of her neck. The way her eyes were half closed in pure ecstasy. I could have watched her forever. I never wanted this moment to end, but my body had other plans. I could feel myself growing closer and closer.
I wrapped my hand around Pipers curls and pulled her further backward while I lowered my lips to her breasts. She rode me harder as I licked her nipples. When my teeth closed around them, I could feel her shaking uncontrollably and I knew she was close, too.
The scream that escaped her lips when she came was earth shattering. I followed close behind her and we both collapsed against each other. I held her sweaty body against mine as we laid down together. Piper wrapped her leg around my waist and laid her head against my chest. We were breathing hard and I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs.
I played with her hair and kissed her forehead while we both calmed down slowly. Once we were able to breathe normally, Piper sat up slightly so she could reach my lips. She kissed me and I sighed deeply.
“My god, you’re amazing,” I said.
“Right back ya,” she laughed.
“Seriously, Piper,” I chuckled. “One of these days, you’re going to kill me.”
“Never,” she teased. “I’ll just make you think you died and went to heaven.”
I laughed and she kissed me again. Our eyes met when we pulled apart and I smiled. Her blue eyes searched mine questioningly.
“What’s that smile for?” she asked.
“I’m happy,” I told her simply. “I’m just really, truly happy.”
Piper grinned and laid her head back down on my chest. We were both naked and sweaty. The air around us was stale and steamy. Everything was sticky, but we didn’t care. We could have laid there in each other’s arms for the rest of the night and been perfectly happy, but we knew we couldn’t do that. Piper had class in the morning and I had to train.
Reluctantly, we got dressed and I drove her home. When we pulled up to her house, I kissed her slowly, wanting to remember everything about the way she felt.
“Keep doing that and I’ll never get out of the car,” she joked.
“That’s the plan,” I told her with a playful grin.
Piper laughed and pushed the car door open. I watched her curls bounce as she made her way across the yard and disappeared inside…
I shook my head and tried to pull myself out of the memory. That night was one of the best of my life. Hell, even after five years, it still stood out boldly in my mind. There were so many things I loved about being with Piper, but the way our bodies melded so perfectly together was by far one of the best. She had a way of captivating me completely: mind, body, and soul.
Eight
Logan
When I looked up, my eyes searching for Piper, I realized she was no longer sitting at the table with Audra and Jack. I frowned and looked around, but she was nowhere in sight. It was against my better judgement that I took a step forward. Audra watched me with narrowed eyes until I was standing right in front of her.
“Hi, Audra,” I said. “Jack.”
“Logan,” Jack nodded. He glared at me openly and slid his arm protectively around Audra.
“What do you want?” Audra demanded. “Why the hell are you here?”
“I heard about your uncle and I wanted to…”
“To what?” Audra snapped. “Pay your respects?”
“Something like that,” I shrugged. I could feel my face flush and I looked away for a split second. There was nothing that could turn me into a shell of my former self faster than being face to face with Piper’s fiercely protective older sister.
“Thank you,” Jack said. His jaw was tight. “We appreciate you coming.”
I nodded and asked, “Where’s Piper?”
Audra laughed derisively and shook her head like she couldn’t believe I would dare speak Piper’s name in her presence.
“She ran out when she saw you,” Jack explained.
“Oh.”
“Are you surprised?” Audra demanded.
“A little,” I answered honestly. “I don’t know what I expected to happen when we saw each other again, but I didn’t think she would run away from me.”
“And why not?” Audra asked.
“Well, things didn’t end that badly,” I said quietly, speaking more to myself than to Audra.
“Maybe not for you,” Audra hissed. “But for Piper, it was…”
“Aud,” Jack said warningly. Audra turned to face her husband who simply shook his head.
“What?” I asked. “For Piper, it was what?”
“Nothing,” Jack said with a tone of finality in his voice. “For Piper, it was nothing. She just doesn’t want to see you. Can you respect that?”
“Of course, I can,” I nodded. “Will you just…”
I paused, not knowing exactly what I wanted to say. A hundred different ideas ran through my mind as I stared blankly at Jack. He waited patiently, his eyes never leaving mine. I could tell he wanted nothing more than for me to turn around and leave, but he was too polite to say so.
With a sigh I started again, “Will you just tell Piper I’m sorry? For her loss I mean.”
“We will,” Jack promised. He glanced toward the door, his intention perfectly clear.
“Thanks,” I said lamely. I turned to walk away, but Audra’s voice stopped me.
“Logan,” she said. “I know it may have not seemed like anything to you, but what you and Piper had meant everything to her. You broke her heart.”
I felt weak as I let Audra’s words wash over me. What did she mean by that? Didn’t she know that it meant just as much to me? Didn’t Piper know that?
Without a word, I left the pub and hurried across the parking lot to my car. I climbed inside and took a few deep, steadying breaths. Dammit. That was not how I pictured my reunion with Piper.
If I was being honest, I imagined we would pick things up exactly where we left them five years ago. When we broke up, it wasn’t because I wanted to leave her, but I had to. I couldn’t pass up my chance to be a SEAL. Piper of all people understood that. The night I told her, was a hard one, but I thought she knew what she meant to me.
Audra’s words made everything suddenly seem less clear. In my mind, Piper and I parted equally broken-hearted. We were both wrecked. We were both miserable. But, we were both setting out to fulfill our dreams. I always thought, once those dreams came true, that we would…
I shook my head and my eyes flew open. There was no use fantasizing about a future that was never going to happen. If what Audra said was true, then I couldn’t blame Piper for running out of the pub.
As I sat in my car everything began to click into place. All the letters I wrote to Piper and she never once wrote back. In the beginning, when I still tried to call, she never picked up the phone. Back then, I thought she was just taking some time. I thought she just needed a little space to heal and figure everything out herself. I wanted to give her that, so after a whi
le, I stopped calling.
I kept writing. For years, I wrote her letters and sent them to the only address I had for her: her parents’ house.
Eventually, I gave that up too, but I still never let myself believe things were over. Surely, Piper would want to see me if and when our paths were to cross again. After everything we had, there was no way she would be able to deny our connection. I held out hope. I believed we would find each other.
Now that we had, I realized none of that was fucking true. I wondered if I held onto the thought of Piper to escape the reality of my life. Was our connection truly as strong as I believed it to be? Or, was I romanticizing something that had long been over?
Nine
Piper
Sitting on that curb, I felt ridiculous. How could I have let Logan run me out of my own uncle’s wake? He hadn’t even spoken to me. He didn’t say a word. And still, I bolted. I ran out the back door like a burglar and didn’t stop until I knew I was alone. When did I become this person? So, afraid of confrontation?
That night came back to me in a flood of emotions. I was sitting on a bench in McKinney park waiting for Logan to show up. We’d agreed to meet after my last class. We had plans to see a movie and grab a drink, but he was late.
I called him a few times. No answer. After an hour, I decided to just go home and wait for him to call me back. Something must have happened. I was beginning to worry he’d been in an accident or something.
When I walked through the backdoor, my phone finally rang.
“Hey,” I said, my voice full of relief. “Where have you been? Are you okay?”
“I’m great!” Logan said cheerfully. “I’m really sorry I stood you up. Can you meet me now? At Kellan’s?”
“Sure,” I said apprehensively. “I’ll be there in a few.”
“See you soon!”
I hung up and turned back around. Climbing in my car, I felt a horrible sense of dread wash over me. There was something going on with Logan, that much I knew, but I couldn’t imagine what it could be. In all the time we’d been dating, Logan had never been so much as two minutes late for a date. Never. He blamed the fact that he was obnoxiously early on his military training. Whatever was going on, it had to be pretty big if it meant Logan was deviating from his prompt nature.
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