“I spend a lot of time here.”
“And there I was, thinking you were out getting drunk every night.”
“Oh, I do that, too,” he chuckles.
It warms me from the inside out, knowing that I can make him laugh. It’s not something he seems to do very often, and it only makes me want to make him do it more. His bad boy image lessens when he laughs and he looks more his age. “I’ve never brought anyone here before.” His voice suddenly takes on a more sombre tone.
“Thank you for sharing it with me.”
Dropping his hands from the wheel, he reaches over and once again entwines our fingers.
“Things haven’t been easy for me in that house, Lauren. I won’t taint you with the details, but it was my dad’s dream home. He and my granddad build it with their bare hands. Every day, it’s a reminder of everything I’ve lost.”
“I’m so sorry.” Bringing his hand up, I press my lips against his rough knuckles.
“I know I’m not the easiest person to get on with or even to share a house with, but Mum needs me.”
I want to tell him that she’s not his responsibility, that she’s got my dad to do that now, but I know it’s not what he needs to hear. And I’ve spent years keeping an eye out for my mum, so I do understand what he’s saying. “What about what you need? Who supports you?”
He shrugs. My heart breaks for him. I’ve heard stories about how close he was to both his dad and granddad. I can only imagine how their deaths have affected him.
His phone vibrating in his pocket ends our little moment. He lets go of my hand to slide his phone out. Groaning when he looks at the illuminated screen, he cancels the call and throws it down into one of the cup holders between us.
“So…what do you want to do now?” I ask when a tense silence descends around us.
“You want the truth?” Turning his head, he stares at me. The darkness in his eyes is almost a warning and my stomach turns over, although I’m pretty sure it’s only excitement I’m feeling.
“Always,” I whisper eventually.
Reaching over, he takes my cheek in his warm hand and leans forward. I find myself doing the same and, in seconds, our lips are almost touching.
“I shouldn’t have done that the other night. It was wrong—”
“But…” I say, sensing there’s more.
“I can’t stop thinking about it. About you.”
“Me, either,” I admit quietly.
“Fuck, Lauren. We shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Says who? As far as I can tell, the only two people who matter are—” My words are cut off when he closes the tiny amount of space between us. His lips part and his tongue finds its way in. His taste explodes in my mouth, my tongue running along his, eager to explore.
His hand cups my other cheek and he tilts my head to the side with his fingers in my hair to deepen the kiss.
I’ve been kissed a couple of times in the past, but never like this. It’s intense. Explosive. Consuming. Everything I previously had in my head vanishes, and the only thing on my mind is getting more of Ben.
Reaching out, I place my hands on his solid chest. I need to feel him. I need more than his lips. Every inch of my body aches for him, for his touch. So, when his hands slide down to my waist and he lifts me, I eagerly help to climb over the centre console until I’m sitting across his lap.
With his large hands around my waist, I settle myself into the kiss, but it’s not long before even feeling him beneath me isn’t enough. My head might not know what I should be doing in this situation, but it seems that my body is fully on board.
Needing more, I lift the hem of his t-shirt and go to run my hands up the taut skin of his stomach. But the second our skin connects, he rips his lips from mine.
“Shit. Fuck, Lauren. What the hell are we doing?” he pants, his eyes wide and his lips swollen.
Pressing his forehead to mine, his breath tickles across my face as I try to get control of my breathing. With his hands still on me and his solid thighs between my legs, it’s not all that easy.
Ben’s phone vibrates in the cup holder once again. After letting out a long breath, he breaks the connection between us and lifts me back into the passenger seat.
“I’m sor—”
“Don’t,” I snap.
“Let’s go home.” The sadness in his voice has me almost jumping back onto his lap. My fingers grip the leather beneath me to make me stay put as Ben starts the car.
Before putting it into reverse, he looks over at me. I open my mouth to say something, anything to take the pained look from his face, but he beats me to it.
“This is for the best.” I’m not sure who he’s trying to convince because I’m pretty sure neither of us truly believes that.
I never would have thought it, but the brooding boy who’s avoided me at all costs in the past makes me feel alive in a way I never have before. I know he’s trying to do the right thing, but damn if the only thing I want to do right now is break all the rules.
There’s no way we should be doing this. No one, other than us, will understand this pull, this incredible connection. The thought makes my heart drop. I could have found the one person most people spend most of their lives looking for…and he’s the one person I never should have looked twice at.
“Are you ready?” Ben asks after we’ve sat in the driveway in darkness and silence for a few minutes.
I desperately want to say no, that I’m not ready for our time together to be over, but he doesn’t need to hear it. His entire body is tense. I know he’s struggling with this just as much as I am.
“Maybe we should run away.” I suggest it as a joke, but when he turns to look at me, his eyes are deadly serious.
“Do not tempt me, Lauren,” he warns. The deepness of his voice hits me and I swallow a ball of emotion that threatens to form in my throat. He really hates it here. I wish he’d open up. I just want to understand, to help in any way I can.
“Come on, let’s get this over with.”
I don’t understand the concern in his tone. All we’re doing is going home. What’s he got to be so concerned about?
Everything starts to make a little more sense the second the front door clicks shut. Suddenly, all Ben’s ignored phone calls and his worry about coming back make sense.
“Get in here right now,” Dad booms from the living room.
Dread fills me. Looking over at Ben, his lips are pressed into a thin line, his eyes hard and angry.
I squeeze his forearm and make him look down at me. “It’s okay. I’ve got this.”
“I’m not leaving you with him.”
Ben doesn’t get to say any more because Dad staggers into the doorway, leaning against the frame for support. He’s drunk.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he hollers, his angry eyes focused on Ben. I immediately drop my arm and step in front of him. He shouldn’t have to deal with Dad like this.
Dad’s eyes don’t move from Ben, even with me trying to distract him.
“Go upstairs, Lauren,” Ben says behind me.
“No.”
“Lauren,” Ben growls. “You don’t need to be in the middle of this.”
“But—”
“Do as you’re fucking told for once, kid,” Dad barks. Tears sting my eyes at his belittling tone. With a quick glance at Ben, I run from the room and up the stairs.
“Shut your door and put some music on,” Ben says when my foot hits the first step, but I don’t respond.
My heart pounds and my hands tremble as I sit on the top step and wait for the shouting to start.
I’m not disappointed, and suddenly I understand why Ben hates it here so much. My dad really doesn’t like him. I just don’t understand why. So what if he’s a little moody and comes in late, drunk? He’s a twenty-year-old guy—that’s fairly normal. It’s probably no different to what he did at that age.
I can’t make out all of Dad’s words from up here. He’s
too drunk and most are so slurred that I doubt even Ben has a clue what he’s saying. But I hear his warning loud and clear. “I told you to stay the hell away from her. If I find out you’ve so much as laid a finger on her, I’ll fucking kill you.”
My stomach knots. I’ve never heard my dad talk like that before. Never heard him so vicious. I’ve hidden myself away from plenty of arguments between him and Mum in the past, even him and Jenny on a very rare occasion, but he’s never threatened either of them like that.
The second I hear footsteps, I jump up and run to my room, not wanting either of them to know I was listening.
Sitting on the end of my bed, I try to figure out what I’m going to say to Dad when he’s sobered up. There’s no way that Ben and I won’t be spending any more time together. The connection between us will make that physically impossible, especially when he sleeps just across the hallway.
Chapter Six
My mind races and my heart pounds as I wait to hear Ben come home. Dad crashed his way up to bed not so long ago; he’s probably passed out by now, so I know the coast is clear.
Grabbing my phone, I quickly type him a message.
Come back. Please. It’s safe.
I stare at the screen for ages, but it never shows that the message has been read and I get no response.
Breathing out a frustrated sigh, I turn over once again, trying to figure out what the hell my dad’s issue with him is. As far as I’m concerned, Ben’s done nothing wrong since the day they were first introduced, but then I’m always kept in the dark. Even living here, I feel like everything important is discussed when I’m out of earshot. It’s frustrating as hell.
I’ve almost given up hope that he’s going to reappear when I hear his footsteps creaking on the stairs. Holding my breath, I wait, hoping he’ll come to me like he did last time. But when a door clicks open, it’s not mine.
I force myself to wait a whole minute before throwing my legs over the side of the bed and getting up.
I knock on his door just to be polite, because what I really want to do is storm in and demand some answers.
When he doesn’t answer, I push the handle down and invite myself in. The second my eyes land on him, I panic. He’s too focused on filling a bag full of his stuff to notice my arrival. My heart picks up pace at the thought of him leaving.
Wasting no time, I race over and place my hand on his forearm. He flinches before dragging his eyes over to me. He looks exhausted, the deep frown line between his brows showing how much of a toll my dad’s putting on his life.
“Ben, I—”
“I can’t do this, Lauren. Just walk back out and pretend you didn’t see this.”
The sadness in his voice guts me.
“No. No way. I won’t let him push you away like this. This is your home. It’s where you belong. Your business is where you belong.”
He casts his eyes over my shoulder, his expression dropping even more, if that’s possible. “This isn’t my home. It’s just a place I stay to try to protect those I love. The business hasn’t been mine in a long time. It never will be. It’s time I accepted my life for what it is and try to do something about it.”
“No, please,” I beg, ducking under his arm that’s still holding on to the bag on his bed. I slide up his body, and the spark that I’m becoming to expect when we’re together crackles between us. “You’re better than just running from this. You’ve got more here than you think. Can’t you feel that?” I ask, my heart pounding with fear that I’m the only one with these crazy feelings.
His eyes flash with awareness and an acceptance that, even if he opens his mouth and denies it, I know he’d be lying.
“I can’t, Lauren. You deserve so much better than what I can offer you.”
“Bullshit,” I bark. “Do not believe any of the crap my dad tells you. You are so much more than he thinks. Don’t run from him. Prove who you are.”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried? I have, time and time again. I’ve done everything I thought was expected of me, but still…he’s taken everything and turned everyone against me.”
“No one’s against you.” I think of Jenny and everyone at work. Sure, they don’t all sing about how wonderful he is, but they certainly like him well enough.
“You so sure about that?”
“Yeah, and my dad…he’s just being protective.”
Anger fills his eyes. “I told you to shut yourself in your room tonight.”
“I don’t always do what I’m told, Ben. It’s time people started learning that I’m an adult who can make my own decisions. As soon as Dad’s sobered up, I’m going to talk to him about tonight. I’m—”
“Don’t even think about it. You coming to my defence isn’t going to help my case.”
“But—”
“There are no buts here, Lauren. He won’t accept this.” His eyes drop to where we’re still pressed up against one another. “He’ll never accept this.”
“So, who gives a fuck what he thinks? Who made him God?”
“Lauren,” he warns, but I can already tell I’ve won. The anger that was in his eyes has been replaced by something else entirely.
Lust.
His gaze stays on mine for a few more seconds before dropping to my lips. I wet them in preparation and I’ve barely got my tongue back in my mouth before he’s on me. His lips press against mine and his tongue sweeps into my mouth. His hands slide up my waist and around my back, holding me tight and bringing us even closer together. My curves mould against his hard, muscular body and I melt under his touch.
Groaning into his kiss, I find the bottom of his t-shirt and run my fingers up the warm, smooth skin of his back. When I start to drag my nails down, he moans and starts to harden against my stomach.
Excitement flutters in my belly that I have this power over him. He’s the bad boy that every woman I know lusts after. All my friends want him and the women at work wish they had the chance. But I’m here, in his arms, with his lips pressed against mine.
All the reasons why this really shouldn’t be happening are far from my mind as I lose myself to his touch. My skin burns wherever he touches me, and my body aches for more.
Shifting his hands to my thighs, he grips and lifts me so I have no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist. His hardness presses against me. A wave of sensations I’ve not experienced before explode from my centre. Pulling my lips from his, I suck in a surprised breath. His hooded eyes lock on mine as he rolls his hips. The same thing happens again, only it’s stronger this time. A sexy and determined smirk tugs at his lips, making something unfurl inside of me.
“Ben, please.” I’ve no idea what I’m asking for, but whatever it is, I need it. I need it badly.
Dropping his lips to my neck, he kisses the sensitive skin below my ear. Goosebumps spread across my body and heat plumes in my belly.
Holy shit, I want him is the only thing I can think as he lowers me to the bed.
But instead of continuing, he stands and goes to walk away.
“What are you doing? Come back.” My words come out in a rush. My need for him has heat hitting my cheeks and spreading down my neck.
“Patience,” he says with a chuckle.
The second he flips the lock on his bedroom door, something heavy settles in my lower stomach. Oh my God, this is happening. I probably should be scared, but that’s the last thing I’m feeling as I watch Ben cross the room, scroll through his phone, and then turn on his speaker. Before turning back to me, he reaches behind him and drags his t-shirt over his head.
“Holy cow,” I whisper, more to myself than him, when he turns towards me. Not only are his eyes so dark they’re almost black, but what I always knew to be a muscular body is so much more than I ever imagined. I didn’t think bodies like that existed in real life. The dark tattoo I didn’t know he had wraps around his ribs, a stark contrast to his lightly tanned skin.
“You know it’s rude to stare.” Amusement fills his voice as he sl
owly stalks back over to me, his eyes never leaving mine.
“S—sorry, I just…” I stutter, not really sure what I should be saying in this situation.
“I’m joking, Lauren. I don’t want anyone else’s eyes on me but yours.”
I’m not stupid. I know he’s been with plenty of women. I’ve even had the pleasure of bumping into a few after he’s kicked them out. But it’s easy to put all of that to one side when he’s looking at me with longing in his eyes like he is right now.
“I shouldn’t be doing this. I think we both know I don’t have the right to take anything from you.”
“I’ll give you everything you want. I’m yours.”
The muscles in his neck and shoulders tense, but his lips stay pressed into a hard line.
“You’re not mine to take. But I can make you feel so fucking good.” With those words, he wraps his fingers around the waistband of my shorts and drags them and my knickers down my legs.
I gasp, embarrassment filling me momentarily, but no sooner has he dropped them to the floor, he sits me up and pulls my lips to his. His kiss washes away any concern and embarrassment I have. And by the time he’s kissing down my neck and curling his fingers around the bottom of the hoodie he gave me, I’m panting for more.
The sweatshirt joins the rest of my discarded clothes before he peels my vest from me. My breasts feel heavy, my nipples peaked painfully, and it only gets worse when his eyes drop to take them in.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. Too fucking pure and innocent for the likes of me.”
Pushing me back to the bed, he kisses across my collarbone and then down over the swell of one breast.
I’m not totally innocent. I’ve done things with guys in the past, but each encounter was a rush job just to get them off. I’ve never experienced anything like this—being adored and worshipped. Having my own pleasure matter.
My back arches as he sucks one of my sensitive nipples into his mouth.
“Oh God, Ben.”
He looks up at me and another pool of lust explodes between my legs.
“Oh, please…oh…oh,” I chant as he kisses lower.
Falling for the Forbidden: Forbidden Series #1 Page 5