Next, a studio portrait of her and Steve. There she was again, beaming. Steve looked like a deer in the headlights. He was furious about having to go through the charade of the wedding after already going to the justice of the peace, until Kelly told him they’d get lots of cash gifts. Everyone said how handsome he was, taking the first steps toward responsibility, but looking at him now, he was just a boy. To get married and then have to leave for war the next year, leaving a wife and baby behind, must have been horrible for him.
In Kelly’s optimism, it never occurred to her that Steve had left for Vietnam with escape in mind, to get away from her and Augie. He’d gotten involved with Lee, falling in love with her, because he was lonely and vulnerable.
The rest of the pictures were the standard lineup photos of her attendants, his ushers, the families, and the reception. A much thinner Karen wearing a slender satin sheath, stood next to Kelly in every photograph. Although fraternal twins, there was the psychic connection, and as she turned the pages of the album, she saw there was always something that linked the two, either one looking at the other, or touching each other. The photographer had captured Karen’s broken heart.
Looking at her watch, Kelly wondered if Karen was still on her date to Eastern Market. Like radar waves traveling through space, her phone rang, and looking at the number, it was Karen.
“I was just thinking of you,” Kelly said, relieved, happy to hear her voice. “How’s the date going?”
“Amazing,” she said softly. “Can I bring her to the family get-together?”
“Of course! Where’s it going to be?”
“Alice and Maxine are having it,” Karen answered. “So since Anne knows Maxine…”
“That’s fine,” Kelly said, happy for a new face in the crowd.
Hopefully, having Anne there would prevent the conversation from going south with more talk about Steve. A week had passed, surely that was enough time to move on? It was probably unreasonable.
“Aren’t you afraid dirty laundry might be exposed?”
“She doesn’t care about that. Kel, you have to believe that you are not the first person in the world whose husband turned into a schmuck.”
“My pride is such a problem. I wouldn’t listen to him when he specifically told me what he didn’t want. I blame myself for everything that happened.”
“You loved him, Kelly! You tried to make your marriage work. I didn’t see him leaving, because he was comfortable there.”
“Yeah, until old Lee showed up. Oh well. I guess you’ve heard the new son’s wife died.”
“No, I was spared that information. When did it happen?”
“This morning. Steve was there. Evidently, he’s beside himself,” Kelly said. “Augie said he went on and on about it. I’m so sorry for Titan, but this just pisses me off royally. When our family members died, he couldn’t even stir himself to get up and acknowledge it.”
“Kelly, let’s not go there. No one expected anything of Steve, and nothing is what we got. We enabled him.”
“Oh God, I’m so sick of that word! Everyone is enabled by someone else enabling them. But that doesn’t provide an excuse to be a jerk. Steve claims I used him to get the family I wanted. Maybe I did! But he hung around for a long time, living off the fruit of my labor. If he didn’t like it, why the hell didn’t he leave already?”
“Maybe he was afraid to be alone,” Karen said. “So when Lee showed up on your doorstep, it gave him the chance.”
“How depressing,” Kelly said, the words like the strike of a knife. “I know it’s for the best. I’m just having a bad day. By the way, thanks for letting me know about your extended date.”
“I’m sorry,” Karen said. “I knew Lisa would tell you and I didn’t want to spend too much time texting.”
“Okay, you’re forgiven this time. I’m so self-absorbed right now I can’t stand it. I’m jealous. How sick is that?”
“Of me?” Karen asked.
“Yes. Now that I’m alone, you have someone,” Kelly said, the tears coming again. “I don’t know how I’ll traverse that. I want you available to me every moment of the day.”
They laughed together, Kelly’s heartbreaking honesty breaking down all barriers.
“I’ll be available to you. I warned Anne I was a twin, and she said Maxine already told her to be prepared to take second place if this worked out.”
“So is it working out?”
Now that Kelly had gotten her problem off her chest, she was willing to devote the rest of the conversation to her sister.
“My attraction was instantaneous. You’ll see. She’s not stunning like Eve, but she’s very pretty. She has short hair, but it’s not butch short, like mine. I think they call it a pixie cut. And her jewelry reminds me of a gypsy.”
“What’s she wearing?”
“Jeans and boots, but her jacket was one of those down-filled monstrosities only skinny women can wear and not look like a sumo wrestler.”
“She’s a cop, right?”
“She is, here in town.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting her,” Kelly said.
They said goodbye. Groaning when she got up, Kelly felt like she was one hundred years old. Putting her hand to her head, she didn’t feel warm. “It must be my state of mind.”
Looking at her phone, she scrolled through numbers until she came to Alice’s, pressing call.
“Mom to the rescue,” Alice answered.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m it for this afternoon. What should I serve?”
“Chili and corn bread. It’s fast and easy. And store-bought dessert.”
She could hear her repeating everything to someone asking questions in the background.
“Who’s that?” Kelly asked.
“Terry Cramer is here,” Alice whispered. “Ken went into work. She was afraid if she didn’t get over here on her own, he’d forget her again.”
“Well, I’m glad she’s being aggressive. I think our family is pretty intimidating.”
“I know it is for me,” Alice said, and they burst out laughing.
“For me too, at times,” Kelly said. “Alice, I think I’ll lie down for a bit before it’s time to head over. And thank you for inviting Aunt Karen and her new friend, Anne.”
Placing the wedding album on her desk, the idea came to her to take it to Alice’s house. Let the kids divvy up the spoils. Each visit she’d find something that was meaningful to her marriage and let the children become caretakers of it.
Washing her hands and face in preparation for taking a nap, she realized she’d lost track of the time since she last heard from Steve. A dull, persistent ache under her heart let her know the pain was not over. Pulling down the spread, she crawled between the sheets, depression like a heavy comforter pushing her down into the mattress. Within seconds, she was sound asleep.
At four, awake and drinking coffee, numbness had returned, replacing the former depression. Augie and Sandy were going to pick her up. She wondered if they were in collusion with the rest of the kids. Poor Mom, always alone, someone pick her up.
The sounds of the house relaxed her: the furnace clicking on, the dog licking his paw. She was taking him along on the visit; the kids insisted.
“Let’s go, Beaver,” she said softly. “Time to see Alice.”
Alice and Reggie were still living at home when Beaver came to live with them as a tiny rescued puppy. The others soon made him their dog, too, even though they’d moved out long before. Beaver loved Steve, but Steve was too preoccupied to spend much time interacting with him.
“I love the dog, don’t get me wrong,” he’d said during a family discussion. “I’m just not good at living things.”
“Boy, is that an understatement,” Karen had said.
In the week that he’d been gone, he never inquired about the dog.
“Come on, Beaver, let’s wait outside,” she said, bending down to attach his leash.
Pulling
on her coat and hat, Kelly’s mental state was a fog. The week had collapsed in on her, the changes of a lifetime against her will, and the tendency to just go with it rather than make herself heard would cause repercussions. But the question remained, why would she beg Steve to stay? Because that was what it would be, her begging him not to go with the woman he loved.
The dog woofed, announcing the arrival of Sandy and Augie. “Let’s go.”
Augie’s kids screamed with joy when Augie opened the door for his mother and gave Beaver a boost into the back of the SUV.
“You’re gonna get my car all hairy, Beav,” Augie said, teasing. “I can’t think of any other dog’s hair I would want all over my suit.”
“Hi, everyone,” Kelly said, hugging her grandchildren. “Off to Aunt Alice’s!”
They arrived at the house just as the others were pulling in. The melee felt wonderful to Kelly, removing the fog, the joy her family always brought her increasing until her old peace returned.
“It’s so good to see you all,” she said, underplaying the intensity of her emotion. “We’re together!”
“We are,” Alice said, kissing her. “And here comes Aunt Karen and Anne.”
She nudged Kelly to look out the window. Her heart fell - they looked more like mother and daughter instead of dates.
“Well, what do you think?” Alice whispered.
“She’s very pretty,” Kelly said, concerned. “They look happy.”
“Maxine obviously didn’t see what I see, but I don’t get the attraction. Aunt is old enough to be her mother. It’s like the only thing they have in common is that they’re both lesbians.”
“Yes. I was thinking the same thing. I’m worried about my sister getting hurt. Karen’s already smitten. And if it ends badly, how is that going to affect Maxine and Karen’s relationship?”
“Mom, this is their first date. Chill. They might never see each other again,” Lisa said, rubbing Kelly’s back. “Here they come. Smile!”
They circled Anne, welcoming her, and Kelly noted that she was comfortable with the attention, and that knowledge helped to further relax her. Not everyone was out to get Karen.
“I thought we’d sit down and have drinks and noshes instead of milling around like we normally do,” Maxine said. “Less chaos.”
“Maxine is a control freak at home, too?” Anne asked, and they all laughed.
Helping out in the kitchen, Terry was right at home. Kelly went in to say hello.
“I talked to Ken today,” she said. “But I don’t remember if he said he’d be here or not.”
“He only worked eight hours, so he’s on his way,” Terry said, reaching around her for a tray of cheese and crackers. “Stick that on the table for me, please. Then sit down. We decided tonight is your rest night.”
“Aw, that’s nice,” Kelly said. “And tomorrow, I’m making dinner. It’s too cold to have an adventure tomorrow.”
“I never went anyway,” Terry said forlornly. “I wasn’t invited. But if you decide to go, just let me know. I love outings.”
Speechless, Kelly took the tray from her. A wave of guilt passed over her. She was encouraging this beautiful young woman to continue a relationship with Ken, her sick, alcoholic son. Sometime soon she’d confront Ken and include Terry in the confrontation. It was called an intervention. Chills and heat combined worked her into a frenzy, and she had to excuse herself to go to the bathroom to try to pull it together again.
Locking the door, she flipped the light switch on and looked at her reflection.
“Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,” she moaned. “It’s not your responsibility.”
Wasn’t it? Her son, as much as she loved him, was a drunk. Everything was coming to a head: Steve leaving, Titan’s wife dying, Ken having a blood alcohol draw at work, Karen in the kitchen with someone young enough to be her daughter.
“You, my friend, don’t have any control over any of it! You’re absolved from participating!”
She wasn’t driving, so her goal for the evening was to drink enough wine to relax and have fun. The thought occurred that perhaps that was exactly how Ken had started, but she ignored the taunt because she never drank until the kids were grown.
Returning to the kitchen, everyone talked at once, laughter ringing out. Beaver sat under the table, with Karen’s Boston terrier, Roger, watching the activity, while Kelly felt disconnected, like she was standing outside of the circle, the sensation disconcerting. Someone handed her a glass of wine. She looked at Ken.
“When did you get here?” she asked, leaning in to kiss his cheek.
“I just walked in,” he answered. “Are you okay, Mom? You look a little glassy-eyed.”
“I’m great,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I’m glad you’re here. What happened after we talked?”
“Nothing. I did what you said and called the union rep on call. They’ll handle it on Monday.”
Kelly knew the time was right - not at the gathering, but later, when they were alone - to tell Ken she was worried about him, but she didn’t have the courage to confront him. How did you tell your own flesh and blood that they were in trouble? Convincing herself that he wasn’t that bad, she’d swept his issues under the rug, now hating herself for her cowardice.
“Did they do a breathalyzer?” she asked.
“No, because I’d already been there all morning. I saw bitch Price at nine. She must have sniffed me out then.”
“Mary needs to get a life,” Kelly replied.
“Listen up, family,” Augie said. “We’ve got an issue to discuss.”
They stopped chatting and paid attention. Augie rarely asked the family for anything, so their curiosity was roused.
“Titan’s wife died today.” He waited until the moans subsided before continuing. “He’s leaving Chicago permanently. He’ll obviously have to commute for a while until his affairs are straightened out. Since Dad and Lee don’t have a place yet, he asked if Titan could stay with one of us so he won’t be alone.”
“I find it hard to believe that a grown man will take any solace staying with a bunch of strangers, especially whose lives he helped fuck up.” Everyone turned to Ken, who held up his beer. “Just sayin’.”
“I agree with you,” Augie said. “But the man asked so I’m passing it on to you. Shit rolls downhill.”
Going around the room, each person made their excuses. Sandy placed her hands over one pair of ears, but the other kids were intrigued. “We really don’t have the room,” Sandy added. “Unless I put all the kids in one room and let him have Junior’s room.”
“I don’t want to bunk with the other kids,” Junior whined.
“No one expects you to do that,” Ken said.
“I really don’t feel comfortable having him here,” Alice said. “I’m still pissed! Why should we be inconvenienced? I’m sorry his wife died and all, but this is over the top.”
“Well, you know I’m not a candidate,” Reggie said, who lived in a boardinghouse.
“Us either,” Terry said. “We barely fit in our apartment.”
“The baby is enough distraction,” Ben said. “A stranger might push us to the edge.”
“We might be able to make it work,” Liz said. “I mean if it’s an emergency.”
“Nope, we have enough on our plate right now,” Ben replied, squeezing her hand.
“I’m obviously out of the running,” Lisa said. “He’d have to sleep on my couch, and that is unappealing.”
“I’d offer,” Karen said. “But I made the decision this week that I’m putting the condo on the market right away. I’m ready to move on.” They made a point of not looking at Anne, so Karen added, “I made the decision before I met Anne.”
The family laughed at her explanation.
No one spoke for a moment, the sounds more wine being poured and Sandy whispering to her children.
“I guess that leaves me,” Kelly said, forlorn.
“Oh my God,” Karen said. “No one expects you
to put the man up, Kelly.”
“Mother, no way,” they echoed.
“Why would you even consider it?” Ken asked.
“I guess because I’m a human being,” she said. “I have a big house with lots of empty rooms. He seems like a nice man, and he’s your brother.”
“I’m worried about your sanity,” Karen said.
The group voiced their protests, Kelly’s well-being taking another nosedive.
“Listen up!” Maxine called out. “Your mother is a grown woman. If she wants to have the man there, it’s her decision. I think it makes sense. Like she said, he’s your brother - your half brother. Even if his mother was a ho, you can’t let the guy move to be close to his family and then not do something to help him. It’s not the way this family has worked, in my opinion.”
“Mom, we’ll help you,” Sandy said. “We can have dinner at our place a couple of times a week. Maybe the others can fill in, too. I agree with Maxine. And he might be company for you.”
Kelly started to laugh. “I’m enjoying my solitude, believe me. But Maxine’s right. We have never looked the other way when someone needed help.”
“Yeah, think of all the losers who slept at our house over the years,” Reggie said.
He was correct, any friend in need was welcome to camp out at the Boyds’ house, and there was always an extra kid or two at the breakfast table in the morning.
“I miss those days,” Kelly said. “I know you’ll laugh, but they were the happiest days of my life.”
“Mom always liked a bunch of smelly strangers in the house,” Alice said. “She used to keep the porch door unlocked with a stack of old blankets in case anyone got kicked out of the house. They knew right where to come.”
“I remember her doing laundry for our friends,” Lisa said.
While her children teased her, that previous feeling that she wasn’t part of the group dissipated, and the old happiness, so difficult to maintain now, returned momentarily. She’d recognize later that she was on an emotional roller coaster.
The Jade Emperor Page 18