“We’re brothers,” Titan said. “I’m second, but I’ll step aside for whoever is next in line.”
“That would be Ben,” Ken said.
“Are you hungry?” Kelly asked, but Titan held up his fast-food trash.
“No, thanks. Two chili dogs, so I may ask for Tums. Where can I throw this?”
Ken took it from him and went back to the kitchen to throw it away. Reaching the trash can, he realized he was smiling. “You’re weird, Ken,” he whispered to himself.
“I’ll take you to your room,” she said, leading him to the staircase. “How long can you stay?”
“I’m taking the next three days off, but Monday I have to be back in Chicago. I hoped I could walk away from my practice with subs in place, but it’s not practical because I want to sell it. Fast. Until that happens, I’ll go back and forth. I appreciate staying here instead of rushing to get an apartment.”
“You have a lot to do,” Kelly said. “None of it fun.”
Placing his things in the closet, Titan looked over at Kelly. “I know you said I didn’t have to say it again, but I’m sorry about all of this. I hope I can convince you that had I known my mother’s plan, I would have never started the search for Steve.”
“Titan, it was for the best. Steve has always loved Lee. They can finally be together. I have a wonderful family, even without him. You mustn’t take that burden of guilt on now or you’ll never recover.”
“I still have to deal with Lee’s betrayal of me, not just of Baker. I hope I can forgive her.”
“It’s better to just move on,” Kelly said, thinking that if Lee had liver cancer, who knew how long she’d be around. “None of us know how long we have on earth, so it’s better to let it go, especially with your mother.”
“You’ve been gracious since I disturbed your life. I can’t believe I had the balls to walk up to your front door. The alternative responses are mind-boggling. You could have shot at me.”
“Beaver didn’t mind you, did you, boy?” she said, bending down to pet the dog. “He must know your family. I’m going to have a glass of wine. I’d admit, I used to have tea, but tonight calls for wine. Ken and I are both off work this week. Do you want to join us?”
“I’d love a glass of wine. I’ll be right down.”
Kelly showed him the bathroom, where she kept extra blankets, and then left. In the kitchen arranging cheese on a paper plate, Ken had the wine uncorked and three glasses ready. Not commenting about the plate, Kelly let the unimportant go and would try to do so from now on. If Titan minded cheese on a paper plate, they’d deal with it.
“Thank you so much. I like having you around,” she said, laughing. “Is that wrong?”
“Is it wrong that I like being back home? I can add that to my résumé`. AA member, coke head, alcoholic, lives with Mom.”
“Stop,” she said, unhappy with even a sarcastic description of her beloved middle son. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I failed as a parent.” She raised her hand to his objections. “Hear me out. I thought by working afternoons and nights, you kids wouldn’t be affected by my absence. I thought by having Grandma Boyd here that all your needs would be met. I never felt like she wasn’t a good babysitter, but your father wasn’t happy that she was around.”
“It was fine. She was always cheerful. I don’t remember her ever reprimanding anyone. We’d laugh and horse around, and then Dad would get home and the atmosphere definitely changed.”
“In what way?” Kelly asked, not sure if she should have brought the topic up now. Be careful what you ask for.
“He was just Dad. Grandma helped him get dinner on the table and then she’d leave. Dinner was something to get through. He occasionally got into fights with Augie, but I was so young I don’t remember what they were about. We were all happy when you switched to night shift.”
“Well, sorry about that,” she said. “I know there’s nothing I can do about it now. I’m glad going to nights worked out for the family because it about killed me.”
“I hate it, too,” Ken said. “Take my fancy cheese platter in, please, and I’ll bring the wine.”
Shortly after, Titan came down the stairs. Much later, Kelly used the word bright to describe him. His eyes were glassy, his normally sallow complexion ruddy, like he’d been out in the cold for a long time.
Ken noticed it, too, and didn’t waste any time checking him out. “You okay, buddy? You look spent.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good word for it. I’m starting to feel again instead of walking around in a stupor, and I think the stupor might have been better. I guess I’d better try to pull it together.”
“Hey, man, your wife just passed four days ago. I think you can take a week to feel like crap.”
“Sit down, Titan,” Kelly said, leading him away from the uncomfortable chairs. “As my son so eloquently put it, Jean just died. Time to cut yourself a break.”
“I want to stop talking about myself. When a spouse dies, everyone looks at you, waiting for you to collapse into a heap.”
“Is that what you want to do?” Ken asked.
“Not really,” Titan said. “I’m giving myself a year. In a year, I hope my business will be gone, the house sold, my mother settled.” Catching himself, it was too late, the words lingered in the air. “I’m sorry. Even if we hadn’t found Steve, she was still in mourning for my father. For Ted Baker. Poor Ted, I feel like I need to tell you about him.”
“Please, tell us,” Kelly said. “Believe it or not, he has an important role in my story, too. I wonder if Steve has asked about him.”
“According to my mother, he’s a little jealous. I don’t understand the dynamics.”
“Do you mean the dynamics of Steve and Lee?” Kelly asked.
“Yes. You see, I could understand the lies to Ted Baker. She was desperate, pregnant and alone. The rumors came down that Saigon was going to fall, and the US forces were leaving.
“After Steve left Vietnam, my mother said she latched on to Baker right away. I understood her panic. He accepted that I was his son. He was able to get our visas in process. But this is what baffles me. I’m sure if she’d told Steve that she was pregnant, he’d have done the same thing. Instead of lying to Ted Baker, she could have maintained a relationship with Steve. But they didn’t do that.”
“Because he was married,” Kelly said. “Augie and I were here, waiting for him. I don’t understand why he came back to us if he was as in love with Lee as he says he was. I’ve questioned him about it as well, asking him why he didn’t bring you both back. I think he was just too young.”
Ken squeezed her hand, holding on to her while they talked.
“How old was Ted?” Ken asked.
“My mom’s age,” Titan said. “Maybe because he was an officer, he had more clout. I really don’t know. I thought he was my father. He used to tell me that the year after I was born during the time my mother and I were in Laos, he would fly over to see us every month. The separation about killed him.
“I know Steve isn’t to blame for my mother’s betrayal of Baker. But I feel like he has some responsibility.”
“This is heavy conversation for white wine. Anyone mind if I get a scotch? AA doesn’t start until tomorrow.”
“Do we have to share every detail with Titan?” Kelly said, feeling anxious.
“Damn right, I think we do,” Ken said. “If he’s going to hang around here for long, he might discover a few things about his real father that he won’t like.”
“I’ll have scotch, too,” Titan said, his anxiety palpable. “I don’t need to know anything right now.”
“I’m not surprised,” Ken said, handing him a tumbler with straight scotch. “You might want to rethink moving so close to us, however. We have a string of dirty laundry slowly unfurling. It’s out of our control.”
“Thanks to me,” Titan replied. “But I need to stay close to my mother because her health isn’t great. You know she has liver
cancer, correct?”
“Our issues have nothing to do with you, Titan,” Kelly said. “I made the best of a bad situation when I probably should have divorced Steve right away. But then I wouldn’t have my children, and you’ll discover my life revolves around them.”
“Yeah, thanks, Dad,” Ken said, giving Kelly the thumbs-up.
Titan burst out laughing. “It feels good to laugh. We haven’t had much reason to lately.”
A phone beeped and everyone checked theirs for a message.
“My mother wants to see me. They’re parked out in front,” Titan said, standing.
“Invite them in,” Kelly said. “It’s too cold and too late to be standing out on the curb.”
“If you’re sure,” he said, reluctant to impose.
“Absolutely,” she said.
“It’ll be good to see old Dad,” Ken said, making a valiant attempt at not slurring his words.
The door closed and Kelly turned to Ken. “Take it easy, will you? This isn’t the last supper.”
“Yes, it is, and I plan on getting wasted,” he said. “Why the hell would my father cave and show up here after midnight?”
“I actually figured they might pull something like this,” she said, sighing. “He doesn’t care…”
“About anyone but himself,” Ken said, completing her sentence. “You can say it, Mother.”
“Why bother? Oh great, here they come! I thought he’d use his common sense and not impose, but no! Lee has to have what Lee wants.”
The chaos of new arrivals ensued, Kelly pretending she was a greeter at their local Walmart, standing off to the side with a smile plastered on her face, and Ken acted host, offering wine, which they accepted.
“Titan stay by you because we don’t want him to be alone,” Lee said.
“Mom, she can figure it out,” Titan said, mouthing I’m sorry to Kelly.
“Thank you, Kelly,” Steve said. “We really appreciate it.”
She ignored him, offering them the chairs by the fireplace while Ken went to the kitchen for more glasses. In spite of Ken and Kelly’s place on the couch clearly marked by their glasses and phones, Lee led Steve over to sit so they wouldn’t be separated by the uncomfortable chairs.
“Why aren’t you in your hotel?” Titan asked. “It’s late.”
“We got a bite to eat, and when we returned to the hotel, they were booked,” Steve said, throwing a pleading glance Kelly’s way.
“Surely that’s not the only hotel in town,” Titan replied, alarmed.
“No, but the other one is too expensive,” Steve whined.
It appeared they were going to ask to stay at Kelly’s, and by the look on her face, it was not going to be okay.
“Steve, you’re not staying here,” Kelly said. “I can see what’s happening, and I won’t be manipulated. As a matter of fact, you should leave. The only reason I’m being civil now is for Titan’s sake, but clearly, you don’t have the same sense of responsibility.”
“Go, Mom!” Ken whispered, returning with the glasses.
Reluctantly, Steve stood, reaching out for Lee’s hand. “I guess it was pretty nervy of us,” he said. “Sorry. Titan, we’ll talk tomorrow.”
“I don’t see why we should leave,” Lee said. They looked at her, shocked. “This Stevie’s house too, not just Kelly Boyd’s.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Titan said, putting his hand on her back, but she shrugged him off.
“I’m not going! If Stevie don’t act like a man, I’ll get what belongs to him. Kelly Boyd thinks she can keep this big old house.”
“I did leave,” Steve said gently, pushing her toward the door. “I lost my rights to the house then. Come on, honey. We go uptown and find nice hotel.”
Trying not to laugh, Kelly and Ken watched Steve coddling Lee, beginning to even sound like her, her words echoing in the still of the night.
“I wonder why you take me to that fleabag!”
“Nice,” Ken said.
“Is this going to be our life from now on, those two thinking only of themselves?” Kelly asked.
“Well, I guess this is it,” he replied, looking at his glass, half full of scotch. “Tomorrow is AA and a blood test. I’ll probably still be drunk.”
“I’ll drive you,” she said, watching Titan trying to pacify his mother and failing.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Ken asked. Kelly frowned and shook her head. “How did that guy come from those two?”
“Why not? I had six smart kids with the man.”
“I don’t know, there’s just something that feels off, don’t you feel it?” Ken asked.
Kelly frowned, but she had to agree. “Ya think?”
“I’ll be honest and ask him to get a DNA test. I’ll say it seems so unlikely. It would be so sad if he went through this for nothing.”
“Yes, how sad. And how unfair, unless Lee really thought she was pregnant by Steve,” she said, sighing, knowing she was exposing too much to Ken. “Amazing. Over a week has passed, and I still get physically ill when I think of him with her all those years ago. Not now so much. When you see them together, it’s almost like a charade. Dad calling someone honey? Are you kidding me?”
“Here he comes,” Ken said, feeling brave from the scotch.
“I apologize again,” Titan said, coming inside. “I was wondering out there if this is what the rest of our life will be like. My mother is unconscionable at times.”
“Ha! I just asked Ken if this is our life,” Kelly said.
“You don’t have to keep apologizing for her,” Ken said. “I was thinking that it seems a little unlikely that Steve is your father. From what you’ve told us about Ted Baker, he’s a more probable candidate.”
“I’ve thought that, too. I’m going to have a DNA test. I’ve called around and there’s a testing lab here. I can go tomorrow. If it turns out Baker is my father, I don’t know what that will do to my relationship with my mother.”
“She may have thought she was pregnant, Titan,” Kelly said. “We can give her the benefit of the doubt.”
Ruminating on that for a minute, she began to clean up from their impromptu party. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m exhausted. I bet you two are too. We can pick up where we left off tomorrow. Or maybe not.”
The men laughed, helping her take their glasses and bottles to the kitchen.
“I’ve got AA in the morning, so you two can continue with this lively conversation.”
“Thank you again, Kelly, Ken, you too. You’ve both been so gracious. I can’t say I would be in the same circumstances.”
“Poor Titan,” Ken said, leading him to the staircase. “Guilt is a terrible thing.”
“I was born guilty,” he replied. “Lee’s my mother, remember?”
“Goodnight!” Kelly said, closing the door to her room and to the conversation.
Preparing for bed, she took a look around the room before she switched the light off.
“This is my next project,” she said out loud.
She’d make a new room for her new life.
Chapter 16
Kelly stayed in bed long after the usual time. She heard the shower running above her and footsteps on the staircase. Ken had an early AA meeting. Feeling guilty about not being up to wish him well, she had to redirect herself; he wasn’t a boy going off to school. The last thing he probably wanted was to make small talk with his mother. Dozing again for a while, the dog scratched at her door to get in, waking her. He would have slept with Ken last night, a treat because Ken cuddled with the dog in the bed.
“Come on, Beaver,” she said, walking through the house toward the back porch.
When she reached the kitchen, she had a surprise. The person of Titan Baker sat at her kitchen table. She’d forgotten he was there. Quickly smoothing her hair back, it was hopeless; she was in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt with no bra.
“Good morning,” she said, opening the door for Beaver.
“I mad
e coffee,” he said. “I hope that was okay.”
“Of course! It’s a treat to have someone else make coffee for me,” she said, reaching for a mug. “How’d you sleep?”
“Like a drunk,” he said. “I’ll pay for it today.”
“When I finish this,” she said, “I’m going for a run. That’s the only thing that cures my hangovers.”
“That’s the craziest thing I ever heard of,” he said, trying not to check her out. “So you run.”
“I do. It keeps me sane,” she said.
“It’s probably why you’re in such good shape,” he said, sipping coffee. The brazenness of what he said hit him and he sputtered, “I can be tactless, too, obviously. I’m so sorry.”
“Ha! Titan, you never have to apologize for telling a woman she’s in shape, especially one old enough to be your mother.”
“I guess that’s obvious since you’re Augie’s mother, but if I may say as a physician, you don’t look old enough to be the mother of all these adults.”
Watching her reach into the refrigerator for coffee creamer, he was admiring her from more than a physician’s viewpoint. He’d noticed last night how attractive she was, and how kind.
“I am their mother, I’m sure of it,” she said, smiling. “I had Augie right out of high school, right before Steve left for Vietnam. So, you see, I could be your mother, too.”
“Jean was older than I am,” he said. “She was so youthful, no one could believe her age. Of course, everyone at the hospital knew because she was my attending physician when I was a resident. My mother doesn’t know this. I chose not to tell my parents about the age difference because they were narrow minded regarding conventional things like age.”
“So you knew her for a long time,” Kelly said, encouraging him to talk.
“An orthopedic residency is five years. We got married as soon as I finished. We opened our clinic the following year.”
“Will it be difficult for you to leave it?” she asked.
“No. I wish I never had to go back. My wife was the heart and soul of that place. I’ll be lost without her there. It’s much better for it to have new life breathed into it from someone else.”
The Jade Emperor Page 21