“What?” Heidi Joy asked in confusion.
Most people didn’t know about my visions, and I liked to keep it that way. But sometimes explaining them was difficult. “What I meant is that it looks like a storm’s building to the west, and Hugo seems like such a live wire, I suspect he might run off.” Then I hastily added, “Muffy used to.” Which was totally untrue. I could only think of one time Muffy had run off, and that was right after I’d first gotten her nearly a year ago.
“Oh,” she said, shifting Clementine. “You’re probably right. I’ll keep an eye on him.”
I leaned forward and caught Tommy’s attention. “You too, okay?”
He nodded, his serious little eyes pinned on mine.
I waved goodbye and called to Muffy to follow me as I pulled out my phone. Another glance to the west proved a storm was building, which meant I needed to take care of this phone call and pay a visit to Joe before all hell broke loose.
Part Two
5
Joe
It caught me by surprise how right this place felt.
The Fenton County farmhouse I’d rented last November had been a disaster when I returned from El Dorado. I’d started repairing and remodeling as soon as I moved in, but when rumors surfaced that Skeeter Malcolm had taken over the crime world, I’d started to put in a lot more overtime at work. Especially when it looked like a new player had joined the pack—a woman who dressed to the nines but always wore a veil. She went by the mysterious name the Lady in Black.
Mason Deveraux and I had spent a lot of time trying to figure her out—where she was from, her motives, and what she was after. Neither of us ever would have guessed the Lady in Black was Rose in disguise. In fact, I suspect that if someone had asked the pair of us to bet our lives on it, we’d both be dead.
But soon after Lady’s appearance, Mason’s life had been threatened and my father had begun showing interest in Fenton County, a location he’d always claimed to despise; and then there was Hilary’s pregnancy. Any free time I’d previously had to work on the house pretty much evaporated.
Now, I’d been back in Fenton County for nearly a week, doing nothing but working on the place, sitting on the front porch drinking beer, and feeling a peace I’d never experienced. I was still haunted by demons—they nipped at my heels and screamed in my head—but I was finding more and more pockets of quiet. For the first time, I thought maybe, just maybe, I might be okay.
I took a break from installing sheetrock in the living room and went into the kitchen to grab a beer. As I opened the fridge, I heard a knock at the front door.
“It’s open,” I called out, grabbing another beer with it. “I picked up something at the store that I think you’ll like.” I’d discovered Maeve liked light beer, so I’d picked up a six-pack on my supply run to Columbia County the day before. I figured Columbia County was safe. No one knew me up there, and that was the way I preferred it. I was working my way back to society.
I rounded the corner into the living room and promptly stopped in my tracks, blinking in surprise. It wasn’t Maeve standing in the threshold. It was Rose and Muffy.
Rose was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a dark blue T-shirt that scooped low enough to show the rise of her breasts. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and I noticed she had let it grow longer over the last few months. She wore little makeup, but then she’d never worn much. She didn’t need it. A more natural look suited her.
I continued to stare at her in disbelief as Muffy tackled me, jumping up on my legs and barking in excitement. I shook my head and tried to clear it. “Sorry. I thought you were Maeve.”
Guilt washed over her face, and she took a step back. “I’m sorry. I can go . . .”
“No.” My voice was tight. “Don’t.” Seeing her brought a mixture of relief and guilt and more of that feeling of being at home, but that shouldn’t have surprised me. Rose had been the first person to show me what a home really was. “Please stay.”
A soft smile lit up her eyes, but there was a sadness there that I’d only seen after our breakup. Until she’d found happiness with Mason. “So it really is true,” she said softly. “You’re back.”
My breath stuck in my throat. “People know?”
“I suspect not many. Neely Kate didn’t know, and she usually knows everything.” She cringed as soon as her best friend’s name left her mouth.
I ignored the mention of my half-sister. “Did Maeve tell you?” I asked, even though it seemed unlikely as Maeve had promised to keep it quiet.
While I knew Maeve worked at the nursery, I had no idea if the breakup had put a strain on her relationship with Rose.
Rose shook her head. “No.”
Muffy continued to bark, and I bent down and scooped her up, juggling the unopened beers with one hand. “I was about to sit on the porch and drink a beer. I thought you might be Maeve, so I grabbed one for her. You’re welcome to it.” I held the bottles toward her.
I could see the wheels spinning in her head. Her hesitation. Was she about to chastise me for drinking at two o’clock in the afternoon? Or did she plan to rip me to shreds for being gone so long without a word?
But her small smile returned as she grabbed the light beer I’d gotten for Maeve, and then she spun around and headed out the front door.
I followed and we sat in the two lawn chairs on the porch. The chairs were a constant fixture, because I found peace sitting by myself and surveying the fields in front of the house. I had bought the second chair for Maeve since she usually came every day around dinnertime to check on me and bring me food. She’d tried to convince me that I could hear the answers to all my questions if I listened to the rustling crops closely enough. So far I’d only heard geese flying home for the winter and cars on the highway, which ran several hundred feet from my front door.
I set Muffy on the floor next to me before I reached over and twisted off the cap to Rose’s beer, then my own, and tossed the metal lids on the small cast iron table between us. Muffy put her paws on my legs, and I leaned over and rubbed her head while we sipped our beers in silence.
“I’ve been worried about you,” she finally said.
I almost told her that I was fine, but I didn’t see the point in lying. She knew I’d been a mess and still was.
“I heard the FBI took your parents’ house.”
I lifted the bottle to my mouth and hesitated before I took another sip. “It’s true.”
“I’m sorry, Joe.”
“I’m not.”
She turned to me, all wide-eyed shock.
“The Simmons empire was built on blood money. I don’t want any of it. Well, that’s not entirely true. I want enough to take care of Kate, but nothing for me.”
I expected her to cringe or show fear or anger—something at the mention of my sister—but all she did was ask, “How’s Kate doing?”
“They finally deemed her mentally incompetent to stand trial. She’s in a psych ward in Little Rock.”
“I know you and Kate never really got along, but it has to be hard for you to see her like that.”
“I haven’t since she was committed a month ago.” I lifted a shoulder into a half-shrug. “That’s not exactly true. I’ve been to the facility. I just haven’t seen her.”
“Does she not want to see you?”
I took a sip to stall. “I’m not sure. I’m too ashamed to face her.”
“Joe.”
The sympathy in her voice sliced through my heart. My pain poured out, suffocating me with grief. “Don’t,” I choked out. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I’m the least scathed person in this whole mess.”
“That’s not true, Joe. You lost so much.”
“And yet here I sit. In one piece. I have my home, even if it’s rented, and apparently I still have my job.”
“Stop.” There was an authoritative tone to her voice that I wasn’t used to hearing from her. I recognized it as the same tone she’d used to confront my father. When she�
��d worn her hat and veil as the Lady in Black.
That woman intrigued me. Where had she come from? She’d probably been there all along, but I’d never once seen a hint of it. Further proof I wasn’t the man for her. Mason had encouraged that strength to blossom, while I’d tried to stunt it.
A soft, sad smile lifted her mouth as she stared out into the fields. “Remember when we sat on my front porch last June and you taught me the rules of drinking?”
That night was forever etched into my brain. When I was old and senile and couldn’t remember my own name, I was sure I’d remember that night. But I kept my feelings to myself and gave her my own sad smile. “Yeah.”
“That seems like ages ago, but it hasn’t even been a year. So much has changed.” She turned to face me, looking nothing like the girl I’d failed to resist that night. That girl had been innocent yet so eager to explore the great big world that had just opened up for her. The woman sitting next to me looked worn and battle weary.
“Yeah.”
She kept her gaze on me. “You told me that you wanted to be Joe McAllister, the man I fell in love with, but you also claimed he was a façade. That the real you would have come out in the end.”
I shook my head. “Rose, stop.” I didn’t want to be reminded of everything I’d lost.
“I’ve always told you that you are that man. You could be him.”
“And I proved you wrong.”
It was her turn to shake her head. “No, Joe. That man is in you. You just have to be him.” She turned her body to face me, a fire lighting her eyes. “You were so scared those first few months we were together, so scared your family would come to claim you and you’d lose the life you wanted.”
“And I did lose it,” I said, my agony growing. “Why are you rubbing this in my face? Is this your way of making me pay? For taking Mason from you? For sabotaging your life?”
“Taking Mason from me?” she asked in disbelief. “No one took him from me. I lost him all on my own, with my lies and deceptions. I hid my secret life from him, and from you and from everyone else, but you want to know my shame, Joe?” Her voice was shaking. “I’m not sorry I did it. Maybe I would change a few things if I could, but I wouldn’t change becoming the Lady in Black.” She looked up into my face, her eyes bright. “I saved Mason several times over. I saved you. I can’t be sorry for that. No matter what it cost me.”
Though she spoke with confidence, I could see she was holding something back, some secret she still wasn’t willing to share.
“Joe, listen to me.” She set her bottle on the table and took my hand. “Your family can’t hurt you anymore. You’re free. You can be anyone or anything you want to be. You can become Joe McAllister, and no one’s going to stop you. Not Hilary. Not your father. Not Kate.”
I struggled to catch my breath as the truth washed over me.
“When Mason left, my heart broke into a million pieces, but he knew I needed the chance to be free. No expectations from anyone. No one holding me back. I could just be me.”
“You wanted that?” I asked. “Freedom?”
“No. Not at the time, and I still feel like a part of me is gone, but he was right to leave. Sometimes we have to walk through fire, then rise from the ashes and see who we’ve become. That’s what I’m doing right now. I’m seeing the person I’m supposed to be. And this is your chance to be the man you always wanted to be.”
I hadn’t considered that before now, but she was right. I had been freed from my family’s interference. Forever. “And the pain?”
Her hand squeezed tighter. “It hurts like hell, but I’m finding my way to the other side, and so will you.”
“What if this is as good as it gets, Rose?” I asked. “What if I should just give up?”
There was a flicker of fear in her eyes before they became firm again. “Life’s not done with you yet, Joe McAllister.”
My throat burned and I choked back a sob. “I don’t think I can do it, Rose.”
She got out of her chair and kneeled at my feet, taking both of my hands in hers. “You can. You have friends who care about you. Me. Maeve.” She paused. “Neely Kate.”
I tried to jerk free, but she held on tight.
“I have no idea what you’re thinking, Joe, but Neely Kate needs you just as much as you need her, even if you don’t realize it.”
I shook my head, unable to speak as tears burned my eyes.
“I know she’s not your full sister, but look at Violet and me. Sure, we’ve had our differences, but I’d do anything for her, and she protected me time and time again growing up. And I know the situation is different for you and Neely Kate. I’m sure it’s hard to accept her when she’s the hard evidence that your father cheated on your mother. But if you can overlook that and get over the shame that she’s your sister—”
“Shame?” I asked in shock. “Why would I be ashamed she’s my sister?”
She grimaced. “Because . . .”
“Because she’s a bastard?” I asked, sounding harsher than intended. “I am ashamed, Rose, but not for the reason you think.” I got up and stood in front of the railing, staring out into the coming storm. “God, no. Neely Kate’s the victim in all of this.”
She rose to her feet as well but didn’t move from in front of the chair. “Then why on earth have you shut her out?”
“My father. The destruction he left in his wake. Literally everything he touched was scorched by his greed and his maniacal power. Even Neely Kate. Why in the hell would she want to have any sort of relationship with me?”
Rose moved next to me. “You’re just as much a victim in this.”
I violently shook my head. “Don’t. Don’t go there. You kept warning me that he would hurt you, and I refused to listen. I put you in danger.”
“Joe.” She rested her hand on my arm. “It’s done. Clean slate.” She grabbed my arm and turned me to face her. “There’s a great man inside of you, Joe. A man you’ve always been destined to be, but your father held you back. Hilary held you back. You’re free. You can do this.” Then she threw her arms around my neck and pulled me into a hug.
Something in me stirred. Part of me still loved her. I was sure I’d always love her, but Mason was right. She needed to be free for a while, to see who she was meant to be without having to answer to anyone.
“I’ll always be sorry I lost you,” I whispered in her ear.
She froze, but then leaned back and gave me another sad smile. “You haven’t lost me, Joe. Our relationship’s changed is all. We’re friends. And I know that in time you’ll find a woman who will be good for you. I’m just not her.”
While part of me knew that, the rest of me still mourned the loss of her. “I know.”
“I’m still here for you. Whatever you need. Whenever you need it. But please, I’m begging you, reach out to Neely Kate. She’s devastated, Joe.”
A new wave of guilt washed through me, but I still wasn’t ready to face her.
Rose hesitated and gave me a guilty look. “If you’d like, I can tell you with certainty that everything will be okay.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can have a vision. I can look for when you’re happy. I can tell you what I see.” When I didn’t answer, she said, “I can do this, Joe. I can look for specific things now. It’s how I saved Mason.”
I stared at her in disbelief as the truth hit me. “That’s why you became the Lady in Black. You questioned criminals.”
She stiffened. “I did what I had to do to protect him.”
“Who did you talk to?”
Her guard went up. “Is this an official police investigation?”
I ran my hand through my hair. “God, no, Rose. How can you ask me that? I’m asking as your friend.”
“You weren’t my friend when you arrested me for a murder you knew full well I didn’t commit.”
I took several steps away, my frustration growing. We’d had this argument more times than I could count, and i
t never ended well. “Rose, I’m currently on leave from the sheriff’s department, and I suspect half the people you questioned are now dead. You’ve given up your alter ego, so what would it serve legally?” I paused. “You just caught me off guard. I still think of you as the woman who needed protecting. Thinking of you alone with those criminals scares the shit out of me.”
She bit her lower lip, then said, “I wasn’t alone. I had protection.”
“You had a gun?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Well, a gun later, but I was talking about a person.”
My stomach fell. “Skeeter Malcolm.” I turned to look at her. “How’d you get involved with him?”
“Off the record?”
“I told you—”
“I need your word that you’ll never take what I tell you and use it against him.”
My mouth dropped open. “You’re protecting him.”
Her chin lifted in defiance. “He protected me.”
“You like him?” It was more of a statement.
Her back stiffened. “We’re friends.”
“You’re friends with a criminal? A crime lord. A murderer.”
“That’s not the man I know, Joe.”
“Yet that’s the man he is, Rose!”
“No. He’s more than that.”
I studied her closely. Why was she protecting him? Had Mason left because she was sleeping with Malcolm?
But I knew her. She would never cheat, and there was no denying she’d loved Mason. I was pretty sure she still did, even months later. Watching her now, she had the same fierce stance she took when she was defending Neely Kate. Malcolm really was her friend, although I wasn’t so sure why that surprised me. Look at Bruce Wayne. And Jonah Pruitt. She picked the most unlikely people as friends.
People like me.
“I promise,” I said. “We’re having this conversation as friends. I won’t use anything against him.”
But she still hesitated. “I was the one to go to him. I made the rules. He risked his life to protect me.”
I slowly shook my head. “There’s no way Malcolm would risk his life for you. Especially if you needed him to help the assistant DA. What did you give him?” While I waited for her to answer, I started connecting the dots. “You questioned criminals. You gave him information.”
Sins of the Father: Rose Gardner Mystery Novella 9.5 Page 4