by Vance Huxley
The gun repairs were finished even if Caddi didn’t know yet, so Harold spent time in the gardens and fields enjoying the spring sun. He could feel his spirits rising every day as spring meandered towards summer, as if he’dfinally woken up from a long, unpleasant dream. The sheer number of people out in the fields, laughing and joking as they worked, were enough to banish the blues. There were a lot more workersthan last year.The number of refugees who had trickled in became apparent, now they weren’t tucked away hiding from the weather.
*
The slow, happy summer feeling lasted less than a week. Harold straightened from weedingas his radio buzzed. “Gate, Harold.We’ve got a big convoy of Hot Rods. Cripes, that’s Caddi’s car, the big posh thing.”
“No problem Doll, he’ll have come for his gear and more beer. Just in case it’s more than that, warn the off-duty guards. Ask Emmy and Alfie to take theirweapons to the guardhouses, Casper as well, please.” Caddi hadn’t visited for a while, which made Harold nervous. He wanted Casper there to slow Mack up if trouble started,hopefully long enough for someone else to shoot the big man. As he went for his stick, machete and pistol, Harold tried to work out what had brought Caddi mob-handed.
Harold smiled when he arrived at the gate because someone had put his box out, the old one for looking over the barricade before it was a gate. He stepped up and Caddi might not be annoyed after all. Caddi’s Cadillac SUV, a Jeep, Mack’s minibus, two pickups and five quadsmade a big convoy, but Harold could only see fifteen people. The backs of the pickups were heaped with something under tarpaulins instead of armed men, soHarold relaxed.Caddi had come to trade.
Mercedes stood up from behind the Jeep driver and waved, smiling wide enough to be seen under her broad-brimmed hat. Harold’s mouth stretched in an answering grin and he raised a hand in reply. Cripes, he hadn’t thought about her in ages but she’d already got him grinning like an idiot.The Hot Rod boss cupped his hands to call. “I’ve brought some loot to trade instead of using all my hard-earned coupons. Can we borrow a few barrows, Harry?” Caddi also wore a smile, but his might not be real.
It took a moment for Harold to realise he’d assumed Mercedes wasn’t faking her smile.Cripes again, she’d got to him even at this distance. “No problem. I’ll go and get the trade goods.” Shouting guns would be a bad idea with the Army listening. As Harold came off his box, Casper sniggered from the nearby doorway.
“So that’s the one the Hot Rods keep hinting about. I haven’t seen you smile like that since… For too long.”
“Just happy to see a smiling face. Warm your hands up Casper, there’s a lot to search.” Casper’s laugh followed Harold up the street. None of the visitors would let Casper near them andthe mere threat of a gay search usually quietened any stroppy gangster. Even before he reached his workshop, Harold saw people with hand carts and barrows heading for the gate. The phones had been busy.
By the time Harold came back down the street,the gate guards had almost done with searching and disarming Caddi, Mack and eight Hot Rods. Mercedes came out of a guardhouse after being searched, followed by Patty. Both were laughing at something. Harold noticed that people were stopping work to stare, probably because Hot Rod women never visited Orchard Close.
The Hot Rods came up the street in a group, but as they came nearer the rest held back for Mercedes to walk ahead. She wore a long coat as well as the hat but as she came clear of the group, Mercedes passed the hat to one of the Hot Rods. She slipped her coat off and tossed it to another. Harold laughed, because the Hot Rod youth looked offended for a moment, then proud as if he’d received some high honour. Harold forgot the youth when he got a good look at Mercedes.
More or less everyone’s eyes widened as Mercedes strode up the road.Most Orchard Close residents had heard some sort of rumour about her reputation, or Harold’s overnight visit, but few had seen her.None had seen a visiting woman, even a Barbie, dressed like this. Mercedes hadn’t put on her minidress or even a short skirt, she wore a blouse with a pair of skimpy, skin tight, soft denim shorts.
Worse still for Harold’s peace of mind, they came with those stockings that held themselves up with magic. The Orchard Close audience would be impressed that she would wear them openly around gangsters,but the Hot Rods knew that the strip of thigh between the stockings and shorts was amputation territory. The stockingsthemselves were serious injury territory, notmuch stocking because Mercedes woreover the knee, high-heeledboots.
As a gang boss,Caddi kept his machete whileMack had an alli baseball bat. The rest wore belt knives. Harold would bet money on a blade inside the boots Mercedes wore, and this time she wouldn’t need to bend to get it. Mercedes saw him glance at her legs and smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Want to search me, ‘Arold?”
“Love to, Mercedes,if you ask nicely and step into my private office?” Harold joined in the laughter from the Hot Rods,while most of the Orchard Close people were a bit puzzled. Not Patty or Casper, who had followed. They were stood, grinning, just behind the Hot Rods.
“Tempting, ‘Arold, very tempting, so don’t stop trying.”She took a step closer. “I thought you said you’d run if I came for you?”
Harold kept his smile but watched her eyes. He wasn’t sure he’d get any warning from them, becausethey were flat and dead again. He caught movement from the corner of his eye aspeople gathered around them, some from other gangs.
“There didn’t seem much point in running. After all, you told me you’d hunt me down.” Harold waited just a couple of beats before saying, “And I want to be facing you if I’m caught.” Mack and Caddi laughed but what mattered to Harold was that those dead eyes flickered. Once again Harold wondered how much of the real Mercedes still survived in there. He also wondered why it mattered to him, and why he kept trying for the flicker.
Caddi watchedthe meeting with his little smile, while the Hot Rod fighterswatcheda denim-clad ass. So did several Orchard Close men, a couple of Geeks, and four GOFS who had come out of the canteen. Further up the street a Barbie kept well clear. Caddi spoke up. “I had to bring Mercedes, Harry. Herself reckons she needs to know just where you are, in case she can’t wait any longer.” The Hot Rods laughed and Harold saw another flicker in those dead eyes. He wondered if the time mightbe coming when Mercedes woke up and went crackers.
“Mercedes knows she’s always welcome.” Damn it, Harold found he meant that.
“She’s out to get you, Harry. Our little Killer Queen is mad as hell that you got away. She took it out on the neighbours.” Caddi looked tremendously pleased about that. “I thought that if the guns are ready it might be a good idea to wind her up again. Besides, Mercedes is such a good negotiator.”
“Yes Caddi, but the rules are a little different here. Especially with the ladies present.”
“Yeah, we know, the language will stay right. I’ve threatened to geld anyone who steps out of line,with a hammer. That won’t stop Mercedes much, because she won’t be bargaining with words.” Caddi looked round and pretended to be surprised at seeing Tessa. “Oh dear, I hope you’re not embarrassed by meeting Mercedes in front of your, what is she?”
“Friend, Caddi. I’ve got a good few here.” Harold smiled amiably rather than breaking the bastard’s teeth, which was what he deserved.
“He’s been a good friend to me and Eddie, the best I’ve found since the Crash.” Tessa showed a lot more defiance than the last time she’d met Caddi, and his eyes widened.
“To me as well, and a lot of others in here.” Patty might not be sure what this was about, but she’d got her crossbow loaded. So had at least a dozen others, Harold realised, including five of Patty’s squad. A general mutter from the audience agreed.
Caddi looked around him and back at Harold. “My, my, Harry,you’ve got a proper little army.Now can we get the weight off our feet, since we can’t drive in here civilised like?” Not likely, four lengths of steel girder were concreted end on into the road to stop just that.
>
Mercedes stuck out a hip,a dangerous hip despite the soft denim. “Well ‘Arold, aren’t you going to ask?” Mentally Harold sighed, publicly he smiled.
“Will you ask me to get a firm hold on your delectable posterior, Mercedes, please?”
Mercedes burst into delighted laughter,her eyes flickering before she turnedto the Hot Rods. “Now that’s how you boys need to learn to treat a lady.” The mutters about who might be a lady died whenMack glared, sweeping his eyes around to remind them where they were. Sharynand most of the residents were looking puzzled, but Tessa wore a definite smile. There would be questions after this.
“As a reward.” Mercedes paused to wind the gangsters up a bit. “No, but will you please put your hand firmly on my shorts. Right over the delectable bit, ‘Arold.” The temptress stepped up close and her fingers walked up his arms. “Then we can sit and negotiate.” Harold took a firm grip on the denim and leaned forward.For a moment, Mercedes thought he was going to kiss her,but she didn’t back off. Harold wondered just how she’d react if he did, then realised Mercedes had got to him again.
“There’s more than one delectable bit, Mercedes, so do I get to choose?” Caddi had reverted to curious looks at the hands-on offer, but sod him and the rest. When Mercedes got up close like this, Harold couldn’t help flirting. He wondered if the young woman gave off those pheromone things? At least the round of laughter distracted Harold a bit andthis time a couple of his own people joined in. They were realising this had to be some sort of a private joke.
“Ooh, naughty ‘Arold! Then again, if you keep trying and I like it, who knows?” Mercedes stuck her hand on Harold’s to keep it in place as she turned, giving him the fun tour across her ass again but this time in public. She raised her free hand. “Do I have to ask?” Harold smiled and shook his head,so she put her hand in the back pocket of his jeans and squeezed.Harold’s hand replied. Caddi and Mack, followed them into the embassy, along with the Orchard Close contingent. Harold headed for his armchair and sure enough, Mercedes saton the arm.
He smiled up at her. “This is my chair, so does that mean I can make up new rules?”
“Maybe, in time, but right now be careful because these shorts aren’t very long. Don’t let your hand slide too far, ‘Arold.” Here we go, Harold thought. It might be a routine but the length of thigh across one of Harold’s knees and her partially unbuttoned blouse made it effective. Mercedes smiled down at Harold, slowly undoing an extra button to make it easier for him to win the bra betting. Harold averted his eyes as Mercedes leaned forward a bit, smirking as she started their private game.
“If those stockings were longer I might be tempted. I’m curious how they manage to stay up all on their own.” Harold gave the short length of stocking an obvious and appreciative look.
“They don’t need help. They’re called thigh highs because they come a long way up my thighs.” Mercedes raised both legs, laying them right across his kneesso Harold could see just how far.
“Lucky stockings.” Harold moved his eyes away as her cleavage tried to intervene, looking around the room.
Bernie, Patty, Casper and Sharyn were in here,three of them fully armed as a statement of whose turf this was. Patty kept lookingat Mercedes and smirking,while Casper and Bernie took their cue from Sharyn, who chose to treat the whole exchange with tolerant amusement. Caddi leant back, taking a swig of his beer before opening the bargaining.”I’ve brought charcoal,damaged machetes, knives and spears, and a broken knitting machine. I thought you could bring your smith to work out what the ironwork is worth.” Caddi’s smile at Pattyfaltered a little, when he noticed she had her crossbow cocked and a Liz special pointed at his groin.”The knitting machine might be useful for Patty. The Demon now, I hear?”
“Patty is already a knitting machine, and definitely a demon knitter.” Harold didn’t want gang names attached to anyone in Orchard Close.He didn’t even like his own gangster name, Soldier Boy. Caddi wouldn’t be giving the blacksmith a nickname, because he didn’t know her name or even her sex.Lizlived in permanent fear of a gangster finding out, so she wouldn’tlook at the ironwork any place visitors could see her.A year after the last time one of Caddi’s men had discovered who she was, and despite him dying before spreading the knowledge, Liz still kept the forge door barred to stop surprise visitors. “Hang on a minute.” Harold used the phone to call Emmy, who promised to arrange for someone to inspect the ironwork and knitting machine.
When the phone went down, Caddi leaned forward expectantly. “Now why am I actually going to give you all my lovely loot?”
“Because someone forgot to mention just how screwed up some of the weapons are? Not only that but some of the last lot of radios were close to junk.” Caddi waved a hand to acknowledge the truth of both allegations.
His eyes sharpened when Casper opened the bag and took out the repaired firearms. “That’s nearly all of them, including the toy rifle.”
“This two-two rifle was a mess, and needed serious repairs.” Knowing how hard Caddi would bargain, Harold started straight away.
“I know. ET told me when he picked up the other radios. You showed him it had no firing pin?” Caddi smiled when Mercedes leant to look at the rifle.
Harold looked away to avoid winning the bra bet, but kept talking.”Yup, plus somebody had used it as a club, and possibly for cleaning toilets.” Casper took out the bolt before passing that and the rifle to Caddy. “It took time to make the parts, but you get the usual guarantee that it shoots straight now.” Caddi accepted that guarantee because if the weapon didn’t work properly, Harold would sort it out as a freebie. He also accepted the charge for making the parts, because Harold didn’t always admit he’d used spares.
Caddi grunted as he worked the bolt, inspecting the open breech. “The Spuds probably used it for growing spuds. All their guns are bunged up with crap.” His face broke into a smile. “Which I can’t complain about because it means they misfire or jam up. This rifle might have actually been used as a club, once it stopped working. What about that nine mil?” Casper passed the handgun over,after checking that both the weapon and clip were empty. Handing Caddi a loaded semi-automatic handgun was not on anyone’s to-do list.
Harold gestured at the weapon. “That was jammed up solid. The clip, the action and even the barrel were full of crud. I also did some straightening and the mechanism had a couple of broken bits. Some idiot probably used a crowbar to try and clear the jam.”
Caddi went over the weapon thoroughly. “Yeah. I couldn’t even get the bloody clip out. Ah, that’s better. Here.” The warlord popped the clip in and out a couple of times, before holding the handgun out to Mercedes.
She ran through the operation quickly and smoothly. “A lovely job, ‘Arold. Would you like to check over my weaponry?” Mercedes licked her lips while her muscles did a little tango under Harold’s hand. “Maybe you could strip and oil it thoroughly, and check the action?”
Harold didn’t have to try for sincerity. “If you bring everything down to my workshop, I promise I’ll strip it down there and then. I’d do it right now, but then everyone would know my little secrets.”
That raised a long, slow flicker behind her eyes. “Mmm, tempting. Secrets. You could show me yours, and I could show you mine. I’ll just put this on there, shall I?” Mercedes leaned far enough forward to put the nine mil on the back of Harold’s chair, but he managed to avoid burying his nose in her cleavage.Harold already felt sure any bra must be the size of two postage stamps, and held on by glue or magic.
Now he’d seen what he had to pay for, Caddi swung into negotiating the value of his loot. The knitting machinecame first, or rather, whether Orchard Close wanted it.When Emmy arrived to let Patty go and find out, Caddi raised his eyebrows. “Hello, I’d heard you’d retired to run a market garden.”
Emmy patted the sawn-off shotgun she must have borrowed from Seth, curling a lip at Caddi. “Pleasure before business. I don’t get much chance to practice and it’s
ages since I shot someone up close and personal. Wouldn’t want to miss a chance.” Casper laughed and so did Mercedes, but although Caddi kept his smile, it seemed a little uncertain. While Patty went to look at the machine, the talk revolved around gardening for a couple of minutes.As usual Caddi complained about the quality of his veg,soEmmy promptly offered to sell him decent seed. Emmy and Harold were certain that Caddi’s problem came down to how he treated the gardeners, not seeds, but why miss a chance of profit?
When Patty called Harold out of the room to talk, Mercedes pouted,standing slowly so that Harold’s hand took its time sliding off.He paused after standing up. “I’ll be back soon, so don’t let anything get cold.”
“Don’t worry, I know just how to get warmed up again.” Mercedes sat in Harold’s chair and wriggled. “Mmm, still warm, that should do the job nicely.”
Harold went through to the next room to talk to Patty, keepinghis voice down because Liz had arrived. The discussion didn’t take long, becausethe ironwork had been put in a garage to letLiz sneak in through the back to look.The best of the bent machetes were well worth having,maybe as good asGOFS work.The rest of the bladed weapons weren’t as good, but she could straighten them if Caddi included charcoal in the deal. Liz could repair the knitting machine with a mix of rebuilding, fettling and artistic ironwork, but the result wouldn’t be as wide as the original.
Patty asked for details, becausethere weren’t any books with itso she’d have to work out how to use the thing. According to Liz, the size of the needles meant the machine would only take thin wool. Without a booklet they’d not be able to manage patterns or shaping, but someone unskilled could still crack out oodles of plain knits. After chewing it over, Harold and Patty reckoned that it would be good for scarves, and sewing strips of plain knitting together would make crude jumpers for the night guards. Patty thought they’d eventuallywork out how to shape the strips, enough to make woollens for the kids. That would be a big help because the children grew so quickly.