by Carré White
“Every farm should have cats. They keep the mice and rat population down. A little kitten would be adorable and soft.” I inched closer to Frank, my leg rubbing against his.
“You little tart. I know what you’re doing.”
I batted my eyelashes innocently. “What do you mean?”
“You’re trying to get on my good side. You’re playing me like a fiddle.”
“Is that bad?”
He shook his head, placing the book on the nightstand. “I think it’s time to turn this lamp off. I’m mighty curious to see how far you’re willing to go to convince me to get a cat.”
The room was suddenly plunged in darkness. “Oh, Frank!” He drew me into his arms, his lips finding mine. “Um…” There was no need for talking now, as his hands discovered the flesh beneath my nightclothes. We had other things on our minds.
***
By Friday, I was excited for our afternoon trip into the city, because I would hopefully return with a kitten. I bustled around the house, dusting, plumbing up pillows, and preparing for our departure. The only thing missing was Frank, who had gone to the William’s with Nathan and Jerry to help erect their barn. They had been gone since before the sun came up. I’d prepared as much of dinner as I could; the rest would be heated up later.
Pacing the front porch, I waited for the men, knowing that it wouldn’t be long now. Then I sat on the steps, wishing we had rocking chairs. Another hour passed before I heard the sound of the wagon. To my dismay, Nathan commandeered it alone, his expression tense.
It struck me then that something was wrong. “What happened?”
He jumped down from the seat and strode towards me, removing his hat. “Mrs. Clark, Hannah…”
“What?”
“There’s been an accident.”
“What happened? Where’s Frank?”
“That’s what I’ve come to tell you. He…” his look was stark…“he fell from the roof.”
My hand went to my mouth, as my eyes watered. “Oh, my word! Is he dead?”
“No, ma’am. He’s not dead.”
“Where is he?”
“Resting at the William’s place.”
“I have to go to him!”
“Yes, I’ve come to get you.”
I raced to the wagon, hoisting myself onto the seat unassisted. “Let’s go! Oh, my!” He sat next to me, placing his hat on his head; his look was grim. “Did he break something?”
“The doctor’s with him right now, ma’am.”
“Oh, thank goodness for that.”
Nathan glanced at me. There was something in that look, something he wouldn’t say, that worried me more than anything. I had an awful feeling that I was in for bad news.
Chapter Six
The ride to the William’s was the longest of my life; the horse just couldn’t go fast enough for me. I wrung my hands, while nervous knots formed in my stomach. Nathan hadn’t said another word, and I refused to ask questions, fearing the answers. The farm in question was several miles away, the road winding along a swiftly flowing river. If I weren’t in such a state, I would have appreciated the beauty, but the only thing on my mind was Frank.
There were other wagons at the house, and people loitered; most of the men were strangers. Mrs. William appeared at the door. “Mrs. Clark.” She rushed down the stairs, while I slid from the seat, stepping on the bottom of my dress, but it hardly mattered.
“Where is he?”
“He’s in with Doctor Caldwell. Oh, my dear.” Her eyes glistened. “I’m so sorry. We are entirely responsible. He was on the roof and slipped.”
I brushed by her. “I have to see him.” I’d nearly made it to the house, when a hand wrapped around my upper arm, slowing my progress. It was Nathan.
“Hold up, there.”
“Let go of me!”
“No, ma’am. We’ll go in orderly. The doctor’s working right now, and pitching a fuss might distract him.”
I tried to snatch my arm back, but he dragged me to him, bringing me into the house, where people surrounded us. “Why does everyone look like they’re at a funeral?” Panic had set in.
“She can go in,” said Mrs. William. “It’s all right, Mr. Weaver.”
“I’ll take her to him.” Nathan led me down a dark hallway; a door was ajar, with male voices resonating. “He looks pretty bruised up.”
I pushed him away. “Let me see.” I stood in the doorway, my eyes adjusting to what they were seeing. Frank, whose face was black and blue, lay on his back, while his legs had been uncovered. Someone had used scissors to cut away at the fabric of the trousers. His limbs were broken; the left leg had an unsightly bulge in the thighbone, while the right shin was at a strange angle. “What’s happened?”
Doctor Caldwell glanced over his shoulder. “He’s in a bad way, Mrs. Clark.”
“Will he live?” There were two other men in the room I didn’t recognize.
“He’ll live, but…he might not ever walk again.”
I rushed to the bed, gazing upon the battered face of my beloved. “Oh, Frank!”
“He’s unconscious.”
“What?”
“We’re waiting for him to wake.” Dr. Caldwell’s expression was sober. This did not bode well.
“Is that bad?”
“Yes, he needs to wake up, but maybe it’s a blessing. We’re going to set these bones right quick while he’s still out. If he were awake, it would’ve been mighty painful.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No, ma’am. It’s best if you wait in the other room.” He glanced at Nathan, as if commanding him to take me away.
“Come with me, Hannah. You don’t want to see this.” His hand was around my arm, pulling me towards the door. “Let’s have some tea.”
“Poor Frank. He looks terrible.”
As I was taken from the room, I heard one of the men mumble, “That’s the least of his worries.”
In the hallway, my feet wouldn’t take another step, as tears flooded my eyes. The magnitude of the situation had set in. I turned, pressing my forehead into the wall, but I was suddenly enfolded in manly arms. I wept deep, heaving sobs, while I clutched the fabric of Nathan’s shirt.
“I’ve told these people to leave,” said Mrs. William. “There’s no need for them to stay. There are refreshments in the kitchen.”
“Thank you,” said Nathan. “Let’s sit down, Hannah.”
“No.”
“You’ll feel better.”
“Nothing will ever make me feel better. I want to see Frank.”
“He’s being tended to,” said Mrs. William. “Boy, do I feel awful about this. That poor man. Just thinking that he might not ever walk again. I just don’t know how we’ll ever be able to forgive ourselves.”
“It was an accident,” said Nathan. “It could’a happened to anybody.” I refused to budge, struggling, not wanting to move. “Stop that.” He shook me slightly, his expression concerned. “You need to be strong, Hannah. You just gotta keep it together for a bit longer. Let the doctor fix his legs, and then he’ll be awake.”
“I have sandwiches. She should eat.”
Tears flooded my eyes. “I don’t want anything.”
But I didn’t seem to have much choice, as I found myself in the kitchen, seated between Nathan and Betsy William. Her children, who were young, were rambunctious, and she had to shoo them from the room repeatedly. I sipped the tea, staring at the stained tablecloth and thinking that my luck had just run out. Things had been going far too smoothly: the happy marriage, the pretty house, and the new life in Denver City. Little did I know that misfortune had been right around the corner.
When the doctor had finished with Frank, he emerged, standing in the doorway. “I need to have a word with you, Mrs. Clark.”
I jumped to my feet, the chair falling back, crashing to the floor. “I have so many questions.”
Nathan reached for the chair. “I think I’ll listen in, if you don’t
mind.”
Mr. William had to remove the children from the parlor, as they had been playing with a wooden puzzle piece on the floor.
When the room had been cleared, Dr. Caldwell turned to me. “He’s broken both legs, but I suspect there’s paralysis as well. He isn’t able to feel or move his toes. He feels nothing in his legs.”
“Is this temporary?”
“I’m not sure. He fell pretty badly, Hannah. He landed on his back, but first his legs hit a fence. That’s how they were damaged.”
“Well, it’s not so horrible news. My husband’s alive. I guess that’s all that matters.”
“Yes, that’s true. He can’t be moved right now. He’ll have to stay where he is.”
“Is he still awake?”
“Yes, but he doesn’t remember what happened. I’m hopeful his memory will return soon. He needs plenty of rest. I’ve left some laudanum for the pain, but…he might not need it, since he can’t feel anything from the waist down.”
“I see. The best we can hope for are the broken legs. The worst—paralysis.”
“Yes, I’m afraid that’s what we’re looking at. I’m sorry, Mrs. Clark.”
“Can I see him now?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Thank you, Dr. Caldwell.”
“I’ll be back in the morning to check on him. I don’t anticipate any trouble with infection, but you never know with these types of injuries.”
“I…thank you.” Weariness seemed to settle in around my shoulders, the events of the afternoon weighing heavily on me. I hurried down the hallway. Frank’s face looked dreadful, dark smudges and puffiness were around his eyes. There was a huge bruise on his cheek. “Darling!”
“Hannah.”
“Oh, my goodness. What a mess you’ve made of yourself.”
“I guess I really had no business being up on a roof.”
I glanced at him, wondering at his cool demeanor, and then I remembered that he wasn’t able to feel anything. “Oh, Frank.” The men departed, giving us privacy. “You might never walk again.”
“I don’t believe that, my dear. I’ve broken my legs, but they’ll heal.”
“But you can’t feel them.”
“I suspect that will come back in time.”
“Are you sure?”
He took my hand, squeezing it. “I have faith that all is the way it’s supposed to be. I’ve had a silly accident, but things will be good as new soon enough.”
I sat on the edge of the bed. “I do hope so.” It gave me strength to see him so optimistic.
He touched my face. “You look tired. You should go home. I’ve taken over the William’s bedroom. Those poor people will have to sleep in the parlor.”
“You’re so calm.”
“There’s no reason to make a fuss. I’m a clumsy fool who had no business being on a roof. Did you ride out here alone? Someone can bring you home. There’s no need to watch over me tonight. I’ll be just fine.”
“I’m sleeping here. I’m not leaving you alone.”
“They said I shouldn’t move my legs at all.”
If I slept with him in the small bed, I was liable to disturb the doctor’s hard work, as Frank’s legs were in splints. “I…maybe I could sleep with the children.”
“Don’t be silly. Go home and have a restful night. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“I hate to leave you.” I held his hand, gazing into his battered face. “I thought the worst. I was so terrified.”
“I’m fine, as you can see.”
“What if your legs never work again?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“I can’t believe this.”
“Nobody ever said living was easy, Hannah. We’re being tested now, and He’s watching. How we go on from this day forth will reveal our character. I’m not going to let a couple of broken bones slow me down.”
His optimism was admirable, but a worrying feeling remained lodged in my gut. I couldn’t shake it. More bad news was surely on the way. “Fine. I’ll go home, but I’ll be here first thing in the morning.”
He kissed my hand. “Good night, dear. Have a safe ride. You still have a measure of light to guide the way.”
I hugged him, inhaling his scent, which was slightly musky. He’d been working and perspiring in the sun today. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I thanked the William’s for their hospitality, although Tom and Betsy looked crestfallen and exhausted. It was plain to see that they felt responsible for what had happened to Frank, as it was their roof he had fallen from. Nathan waited by the wagon for me, lending me a hand, whilst I took the seat. Jerry sat in the back, his expression blank. The sun had begun to dip, a ball of orange and yellow fire suspended over the mountains in the distance. I’d hardly noticed its beauty, my mind in turmoil over what had just happened.
Nathan said nothing, guiding the horse down the bumpy lane; the sound of the wheels crunching over ruts and gravel mixed with the repetitive creak of the running gear. At the house, I alighted without assistance, saying nothing, as I went to the door. The men slept in the bunkhouse, and I would not see them again until morning.
I lit a lamp, placing it on the kitchen table, while I moved about the kitchen, remembering the dinner I had been waiting to make. I put things away and saved what I could. In the bedroom, I changed into my nightclothes, washing my face and hands, pausing to look at myself in the mirror. There were faint circles under my eyes, and my skin looked exceedingly pale. Then I took down my hair, pulling the pins out, as thick locks fell over my shoulders. I made quick work of brushing and braiding. Once in bed, I glanced at the empty side of the mattress. It was strange to be in the bed alone. Turning down the lamp, I whispered my prayers, asking God to help heal Frank.
In the morning, I woke exhausted, having only slept a few hours. After dressing and fixing my hair, I discovered Nathan in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a teacup in his hands.
He glanced at me, as I neared, my skirts, rustling. “Good morning.”
“Good morning. I have to milk the cow.”
“No need. Already did it.”
“Thank you.”
“Have some tea.”
“I’m making breakfast first.”
“Jerry and I ate already.”
“What did you eat?”
“I hardboiled some eggs. Made some slapjacks. Nothin’ fancy.”
I glanced at the sink, noting there weren’t any dishes. “Oh.”
“We clean up after ourselves pretty good.”
“When we come back from the William’s, I’ll make a proper lunch.”
“There’s no need.” I turned to look at him, seeing a man who hadn’t shaved in a few days. He eyed me. “You sleep at all last night? Doesn’t look like it.”
“I…tried.”
“Maybe there’s good news today. Doctor Caldwell’s gonna take a look at those legs again.”
“Yes, I know. I want to be there when it happens.”
“You best eat somethin’ then, so we can get a wiggle on.”
My appetite was nonexistent. “We can go now.”
“You haven’t eaten anything.”
“I…can have something later.” This didn’t sit with him well, as his expression dimmed. “I’m fine, Mr. Weaver. I usually eat very little in the morning anyhow.”
“You’re welcome to call me Nathan.”
Our eyes met. “Thank you for being so kind to me.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Hannah.” He got to his feet. “Jerry’s staying to work the field. We’d best go, so I can help him later.”
“I can take the wagon on my own. You don’t need to escort me.”
“I’m seeing to your safety, Mrs. Clark. You’re not going out there alone.”
His concern was endearing, and I felt myself softening towards him. My earlier assumptions had been rash, but he was still only a stranger. In the wagon, I gla
nced at him. “You’re from Missouri?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Is your family there?”
“My ma and pa died of sickness, my brothers took off to parts unknown, and my sister went to California. All that’s left are a handful of elbow relations.”
“That’s sad.”
He gave me a look; his eyes were shaded beneath the hat. “Yeah, well, I’m not waiting on any Christmas cards.”
“That brings me to mind. I need to write my mother and sisters.”
“Your family’s in New York?”
“Yes, near Troy.”
“Never heard of it.”
“It’s north of the city.”
“Never been out that way before.”
He wasn’t older than twenty-five. “Have you ever been married?”
“Nope.”
“Ever come close?”
“Nope.”
“Ever been in love?” I watched him carefully, his mouth working, while he swallowed. He was difficult to read, and I wasn’t sure in the least, if I had hit a nerve or not. “Mr. Weaver?”
“I got nothin’ to say about that. Nothin’ a lady should hear anyway.”
We didn’t speak again, until we reached the William property, where, to my surprise, there were men working on the roof of the barn, finishing what had been abandoned the day before. I tamped down the bitterness I felt, hating the emotion.
Nathan glanced at me. “You look like you’re about to cry.”
“Maybe I am.”
Chapter Seven
When I thought about things, they either fit into “the before Frank’s accident” or “after Frank’s accident”. What came before were happy memories of times spent in each other’s company, working towards our goals and starting a new life out west. My new memories were not as joyful. My days were spent tending to Frank, who continued to be perplexingly upbeat, even though he wasn’t able to feel anything from the waist down. Then there was the constant worry over the future and what would become of us now.
Doctor Caldwell had pulled me aside a week earlier, saying, “I don’t know how to tell you this, Mrs. Clark, but…he might never be able to walk again. The bones are healing, but the paralysis seems permanent. You’d best prepare yourself, because there’s a strong possibility he’ll be incapacitated.”