by Carré White
“I was preaching morality to her. That’s all.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“It doesn’t matter why I was in there.”
“What did she say?”
“About you?” He tried to hide the glimmer of panic in his eye, but I saw it. “Are you worried she spilled the beans about your…virility?”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.”
“Maybe she told me everything you’ve ever whispered to her in the heat of passion.”
His mouth had formed a grim line. “You’re gettin’ on my last nerve, Hannah. I take you to town to sell eggs, and you break all of ‘em. Then I find you coming out of a parlour house. I say you’ve lost your mind.”
“She’s a smart woman. I guess the word sassy applies.” I stared straight ahead, but I could feel his attention on me. “She had some interesting observations about things.”
“Like what?”
“Oh, this and that.”
When I wouldn’t elaborate, he gritted his teeth, as steam came out of his ears. He wanted to know what Ruby had said about him, but I wouldn’t divulge her secrets. The things I had learned were for my benefit, and I had a lot to think about.
Later that day, I wandered the property, staring at the field that Frank had planted, seeing rows of stalks, brimming with corn. We would harvest soon; the men were preparing for this event, having brought in the necessary equipment.
“Oh, Frank, if you could only see it. You’d be so proud.”
“It’s looking good, Mrs. Clark,” said Jerry, who wandered up the lane towards me. “We’ve had good rain this season. We got lucky.”
“Well, at least that’s one thing that’s worked out,” I mumbled. He wore a hat that shaded his face. “Do you think there will be enough money to see me through till spring?”
He nodded. “Oh, I think so.”
“Will you stay here, Mr. Pratt, or are you moving on after the harvest?”
“I move on.”
That was a surprise. “Where are you going?”
“Into the mountains to prospect.”
“In the middle of winter?”
“For a spell. Then I come back in the spring.”
“So you will come back?”
“Yes, Mrs. Clark.”
“You’ve been a good worker, Jerry. I’d hate to lose you.”
“I come back. Not much for farming in the winter, so I make money elsewhere.”
“That’s very practical.”
He eyed me with sympathy. “I am sorry for your loss. Your husband was a good man. A kind man.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re young and pretty. I know you’ll find another husband.”
I hadn’t been expecting him to say that. “Um…I’m in mourning now.” He nodded, his look imperceptible. The sound of a wagon had my attention. “Someone’s here.” I hurried down the lane to see who was visiting, as I wasn’t expecting anyone today. To my surprise, Sally Higgins stepped down from her perch.
“Hello!”
“Well, hello.” I rushed towards her. “What brings you out on this fine Friday morning?”
“I haven’t seen you since church last week.” Her gaze skimmed over me. “I thought I’d check up on you. I brought some sarsaparilla and peanut butter cookies.”
“Oh, that sounds delicious. Come inside.” I held open the door, ushering her down the hallway to the kitchen. Grasping two glasses from a shelf, I left them on the table. “So, how are you? How’s your husband and your kids?”
“We’re fine.” She lifted the cloth on a small basket, exposing the cookies. “Help yourself.”
“Thank you.” I took a bite, the sweet, crumbly cookie falling to pieces in my mouth. “Hum…it’s good.”
“Hannah,” her look was suddenly grave, “I’ve really come here to ask you a few questions. I thought it best that you heard it from me first, rather than some stranger.”
“What questions?”
“There’s a rumor that you were seen coming out of—”
“I know. The parlour house. I’m aware of it.”
“Is it true?”
I shrugged. “Yes.”
“What on earth were you doing in there?”
“I had a moment of insanity, Sally. I can’t say exactly why I did it. All I know is that Ruby Wallace is a nice lady. She’s very kind. She talked to me for a bit, and then I was on my way.”
Her eyes widened. “What does it look like in there?”
“Like a fancy house. There’s pretty furniture and plush carpet. She even has plants!”
“What do her girls look like?”
“I only saw one. She was very pretty. They wear make up. They dye their hair.”
“Oh, my.”
“She gave me some advice. That was all.”
“What sort of advice?”
“About men.”
“What did she say?”
“It doesn’t matter. I…have a lot to think about.”
“You must know that people are talking. I asked Adaline and Rhoda to come with me today, and they refused.”
“They did?”
“They’re trying to distance themselves from you.”
That revelation hurt. “I only spoke with the woman for five minutes. I’m tainted now?”
“I’m sure you’ll redeem yourself in time, Hannah, but people are all abuzz. That’s all anyone can talk about.”
I stood so quickly that the chair fell over with a bang. “I can’t believe this!” Pacing the floor, I took a deep breath. “How dare they judge me like that! It's not like I’m working there.”
“It’ll blow over. It’s just strange that you would pay a call to such an establishment. They don’t see that every day.”
“Can’t a person be curious?” Her look was doubtful. “So, I made a mistake. You’re right, it’ll blow over.” I glanced out the window, as something unpleasant settled in my gut. “I hope so anyway.”
But by Sunday, I felt distinctly uncomfortable in church, as I perceived many sets of eyes boring holes through my back. I tried to focus on Pastor Bailey’s sermon, but it was difficult being the object of rampant speculation. After the service had concluded, I made my way down the aisle, spying Ruby Wallace at the end, sitting with a wide straw hat on, which brimmed with flowers and feathers. I nodded to her, and she nodded in return.
“How do you do?” I asked.
“Very well, and you?”
“Just fine, Ms. Wallace.” She smiled, her pretty features were downplayed today, as she wore only traces of the face paint she had on the other day. I was going to speak to Adaline and Rhoda, but their husbands escorted them from the church. Only Sally remained, waiting for me by the door. “Hello.”
“You scared everyone off.”
“Ouf!” I muttered, under my breath. “Was that all it took?”
“I’m astounded you spoke to her.”
“I only said hello. It’s not like she’s joining me for tea.”
Nathan stood across the street, leaning against the hitching post. His hat hid his eyes, but a palpable energy radiated from him in waves. His denim pants were a deep blue, while his shirt was a white and black calico. Every female instinct I possessed told me that his attention was focused my way. This produced a tingle of pleasure, my stomach flipping around distractingly.
Mrs. Hermosa was by my side. “I wait by the wagon, Mrs. Clark.”
“That’s fine. I’ll be right there.” I turned to Sally. “You’d think people would have a tiny bit of sympathy for my plight. I’ve just lost my husband, after all.”
“They have sympathy…”
“But?”
She appeared hesitant. “Well, you’re a single woman now. You’re young and pretty. A lot of male eyes turn your way. Even the married men are looking.”
“What does that mean?”
“Some women…some women can be insecure. They’re worried their men might leave them for you.”
I gasped.
“You can’t be serious? I would NEVER steal another woman’s husband.” Anger mixed with indignation. It was an effort to school my features. I smoothed my skirt with trembling hands. “I think I’ll stay away from town for a while. If I need anything here, Maria can come get it.”
“I’m sorry. I probably should’ve kept that to myself.”
“No, you’re fine. If it weren’t for you, I’d be wondering what in the graces is wrong with people.”
“The best thing would be for you to get married as soon as possible.”
“I’m in mourning,” I grated through clenched teeth.
“This isn’t home. This is the new frontier, and women need the protection of a man. There’s a social on Wednesday night. I’m providing the lemonade and some treats. You should come. There are eligible bachelors in Denver City, you know. Pastor Bailey for one. Dwight Bates is another. There are some businessmen who need wives. Marshal Peters lost his wife last year.”
It seemed unpalatable to be thinking of such things. “I shouldn’t.”
“No one would think ill of you, Hannah. You need to meet these men and see if any suit you.”
I glanced at Nathan. He’d tilted his head to the side, his eyes hidden in shadow. There was something graceful about the way he slouched, the line from his shoulders to his hips arched inwardly, leading downward toward lean thighs. I’d been in his arms before when he’d been in my bed, offering comfort. Now he avoided the house at night, refusing to provide those services, which was disappointing.
“I’ll think about it. I don’t usually come to town midweek.”
“It starts at seven. Please come, Hannah. You’ll have a good time, and you might even find someone who interests you.”
“Maybe.” I held a drawstring purse. “I must be off now. You take care of yourself.”
“I will. You too.”
As I strolled towards Nathan, he pushed himself from the hitching post, his expression neutral, but I felt a thrill as I neared. “I’m ready to go.”
“I see that.” He held my wrist, helping me onto the wagon. “Everything okay?”
“Oh, everything’s just fine.”
There must have been something in my tone, because his gaze sharpened. Maria stepped up, sitting next to me on the wooden bench. As we ambled out of town, I thought about what Sally had said. Perhaps I should attend the social and mingle with eligible bachelors. I had been far too quick to dismiss the possibility that I might find one of them interesting. If my mother knew I was even considering doing such a thing, she would be scandalized.
Nathan and Jerry went to work first thing Monday morning, harvesting the corn with a horse-drawn sled cutter, spending long hours in the field. The men came in for lunch and dinner and then went straight out again. Maria and I brought them water and sandwiches, watching as they picked, husked, and shelled by hand. They also had to bind the stalks into shocks for drying. It was tedious, exhausting work.
Come Wednesday, I prepared to go to town, although I hadn’t yet told Nathan about my plans. He had thrown himself into the pond, having wet his clothing through with perspiration. He’d disappeared into the bunkhouse to change, and, when he emerged, I approached him.
“I have to ask a favor.”
He looked at my bleary-eyed. “What’s that?”
“I need to go to town.”
“Now?”
“Yes. I’d go myself, but I need a revolver for safety reasons. Do you have one I could borrow?”
He shook his head. “You never go to the town this late in the day. What are you doing?”
“It’s a social.”
“What?” His hands went to his hips.
“I’ve been invited to a social. I need to meet eligible bachelors. I’ve been told I should marry…soon. Going into that parlour house ruined my reputation.”
His mouth fell open, but, first, two distinct lines appeared between his eyes. “I’ve been working since five this mornin’, getting the rest of the corn cut. I’ve been on my feet for three days, killing myself with this harvest. Now you want me to take you to town, so you can find a husband?”
“Yes.”
“What about being in mourning?”
“I am in mourning.”
“I thought you planned to do that for a full year?” His mouth twisted in displeasure.
“I would normally, but these are extenuating circumstances.”
“Really?”
“Look, you can bring a blanket and a pillow. You can have a nap while I’m at the social.”
His expression hardened. “Have a nap while you parade around flirting with strange men?”
“It sounds horrible, when you put it like that.”
He looked like he was going to say something else, but thought better of it. “Let me get my jacket. I’ll be back in a minute.” He stormed towards the bunkhouse, his boots stomping the ground.
Satisfied that my evening was going as planned, I got into the wagon, holding a thick shawl around my shoulders. The weather had begun to turn chilly at night. When Nathan came back, his face was pinched in a scowl, his posture rigid. He sat next to me, taking the reins, and, without another word, the wagon began to jerk forward. There wasn’t any conversation on this journey, as my traveling companion was in a fine mood, his look having frozen in place. I had never been to town at night; not knowing how rowdy Denver City was once the sun went down. There were miners in the streets shouting and laughing, while the saloon was ablaze with lights, as was the parlour house.
“Looks busy.”
“The “Fifty-Niners” are celebrating. I guess they found free gold. If I were feelin’ motivated, I’d join them for a spell and bring back some troy ounces.”
“Isn’t that why you came out here in the first place?”
“It was.”
“Did you ever mine?”
“I was on Pike’s Peak earlier in the year.”
“How’d you do?”
“Not so good. I have better luck gambling.”
“That’s hardly a profession for a gentleman.” He helped me down, and I met his gaze, regretting my words.
“I may not be learned like your husband was, but that don’t make me any less of a man.” He pointed a finger in my face. “If you were more of a woman, you’d know the difference.”
Chapter Fourteen
We stood on the boardwalk in front of the venue. I fumed with anger. “How dare you!”
“I’ve put up with more than enough from you now, Mrs. Clark. I’ve done nothin’ but help you in nearly every way possible, and what do I get? I get disrespected, is what I get. I’m sure tired of it.”
“I was taught that a gambler was a wastrel. I’m sorry my upbringing wasn’t the same as yours.”
“Jeesh! Just be quiet about that now. The more you say, the worse it gets.”
People walked by, their stares interested. I murmured, “We should talk about this when we get home.” It dawned on me how intimate that sounded, how inclusive. Well, he lives at the property. Technically speaking, it’s both of our homes.
“I’ve been nothing but good to you. I’ve worked my butt off for you. I busted myself these three days getting that corn in. I get no word of thanks from you. Not one. I don’t even get paid.”
“I’ll pay you as soon as I sell the product.” I met his gaze. “I am thankful I met you. You’ve been very helpful to me. I do respect your work ethic and how kind you’ve been and things. When I was at my wits’ end, you were there for me.”
“Why are you going in there then?” He pointed into the open door, which revealed a room full of people, as lively music played and voices were raised in conversation. “What are you looking for in there?”
“A…a husband.”
He closed his eyes, as if grappling with patience. “A husband. How nice.”
“Sally said there were some well-off bachelors, and I ought to meet them.”
“Ah, yes, cause marrying someone who’s poor is on the list
of what ladies shouldn’t do, right?”
“It’s not advisable.”
“Says who?”
“My mother. She’d be beside herself, if I married beneath me.”
“And if you were to marry someone like me?” His eyes gleamed with expectancy.
“She’d be unhappy.”
“She doesn’t even know me.”
“I’d have to tell her that you’re a…”
“A what?”
“A drunkard and a gambler and…you visit parlour houses.” He cursed under his breath, which was shocking. Then he grabbed my arm, hauling me towards the door. “Sir!”
“Let’s have a look at what your choices are, shall we?” He peered into the room. “See that bald man there, the one with the big gut?”
“I…yes.”
“There’s your future husband.”
“Well, I wouldn’t know that yet. I haven’t spoken to him.”
“Then that man.” His finger indicated a rotund fellow, whose face looked glossy with sweat. “There’s a catch. I’d sure rush in there and snatch ‘em up before some other lady does.” He glared at me. “You’re in for a fun night with this crowd of thoroughbreds.”
He was horribly jealous and angry. His demeanor was defensive, yet there was something vulnerable about him tonight, a weakness that I had caused. He seemed almost desperate for me not to go inside, his eyes begging me to reconsider. I found him utterly appealing in that moment, my insides turning to jelly, while I softened towards him, realizing that I was hopelessly in love with him.
“What about Pastor Bailey? He’s without a wife.”
“If you wanna marry yourself another gospel sharp, then be my guest. I’m not gonna stand out here arguing with you, Hannah. I’ll be in the saloon, having a couple of stiff drinks.” He turned to go. “Have a swell time.”
I watched him saunter down the boardwalk, his boots clopping on the wood. It felt strange to admit that I was in love with Nathan, although I hadn’t said the words out loud. He was rough and crude and obnoxious, but then I had plenty of my own faults. I’d always felt a connection to him, even before Frank had passed on, which led to a fair amount of guilt.
When he disappeared into the saloon, I entered the establishment, not really caring to meet anyone else. I’d already settled on my second husband, and I couldn't have been happier with the choice.