by S. K. Lessly
My parents were perfect for each other. Shane had been right in his assessment of them. On many occasions, they told me how they were soulmates. I believed them. Things between them were… fuck… effortless.
Shit…
Got dammit…
Does that mean?
Fuck…
When the weekend rolled around, I figured I’d head home. I was sure Shane wanted his space back. But nope, Major Cooper wasn’t having it. Saturday morning, after our lovemaking, he dragged me on a run with him. Afterwards, we showered and spent the day on surveillance. We kept an eye on a few of the cells I labeled as real threats to national security. We went over the Perchenko case while we sat in the car, brainstorming and let me tell you it was the best Saturday of my life. Especially when he asked if I wanted to spar at a local dojo afterwards. Call me crazy, but that night was the best date of my existence.
Naturally, having his hands all over my body, feeling his hardness everywhere spiked a desperate need to fuck. Damn, it was so bad; we didn’t bother with showering at the dojo. We went back to his place, peeled our clothes off and went at it like rabbits the moment the water cascaded down our bodies.
Okay yes, it sounded like all we did was fuck, and maybe that was true. However, there was so much more between us. My heart did somersaults when he was near me. My stomach seemed to drop to my toes when he smiled at me and goodness when he touched me… my body came alive, my soul screamed for him and my heart melted. I felt like I was in high school and he was my first crush. Shit, he was my first crush. Imagine that.
Sunday rolled around and we found ourselves having a lazy day. Shane went to work out in the morning, I barely opened my eyes when he asked if I wanted to go with him. I was exhausted. This week had been more than I could handle. The sex, the emotions swimming through my veins, all of it too freakin’ much.
When he came back, I made breakfast—yes I can cook some things. Breakfast consisted of a veggie omelet, wheat toast and orange juice. Shane looked surprised when he saw me in the kitchen. He smiled, kissed me on my forehead and disappeared for a shower.
After that, we vegged out on the couch. I lucked up and stumbled on a movie marathon that filled my heart with joy. It wasn’t a scheduled one, but it seemed that every romcom—romantic comedy—I had ever seen and fell in love with came on. They were on different channels, but it didn’t matter to me. I was in heaven.
Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, Notting Hill, Pretty Woman, Sixteen Candles, America’s Sweetheart, Dirty Dancing, Overboard, Runaway Bride, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Bridget Jones Diary, Never Been Kissed…
Man let me tell you, I was glued to the television, lying on his couch dressed in an oversized t-shirt, panties and my heart on my sleeve. I didn’t realize it at the time that fate was setting me up, but the bitch was definitely fucking with me.
Where was Shane during my marathon of sappy romance movies you ask? Right beside me. Not all the time. There were times when he was at his dining room table, his face buried in paperwork. He’d have his laptop on his lap as he sat next to me on the couch, or he had a book in his hand.
He even ordered pizza for lunch, knowing damn well I wasn’t moving from my spot. Never did he complain. He asked questions about the movie I was watching or listened to me rant or gush and didn’t have a judging smirk on his face. He allowed me to be me.
Things changed however, while watching Runaway Bride, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. If you haven’t watched the movie, I suggest you do so.
In my humble and knowing opinion, the movie was about a woman who didn’t have a problem getting engaged and falling in love, however once it was time for her to take the plunge and walk down the aisle, she’d bail. Gere’s character was a reporter writing a story on her upcoming wedding hoping to catch her running. Of course as they spent time together, they fell in love. I won’t go into the rest and spoil it. However, what got to me was how Gere’s character, someone who didn’t know Julia’s character from Adam, read her like a book. He called her out on her shit, pointing out her flaws.
Julia’s character seemed to lose herself in relationships. She curved who she was to fit her mates. If they liked football then she’d immerse herself in the sport, learning everything she could in order to impress or to hold him down. Whatever her fiancé’s likes were, they became her likes. Naturally, she disagreed with his assessment of her but in the end it was true.
I say all that to say, I was Julia’s character, Maggie Carpenter. I didn’t get lost in relationships, but I dated men that I knew damn well wouldn’t challenge me, weren’t made for me. I used them to take the place of the one I really wanted.
Shane had called me out that first night on my patio, however he thought I was running from the idea of finding mister right. He was wrong. I was running from my feelings for him.
The thing of it was, I had handed over my running shoes a long time ago and I didn’t even know it. It’s a metaphor. You’ll have to watch the movie to understand.
Anyway, one of my favorites scenes was when Maggie said to Gere’s character Ike, and I’m paraphrasing, “I guarantee if I don’t ask you to be mine, I would regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me.”
I sat up with that truth admitted, my eyes wide as shit.
I wasn’t at that part of the movie on the screen, but I had reached it in my heart. In my soul.
Holy shit!
I looked over at Shane. His face was buried in the book in his left hand. His right hand was caressing my leg absently or maybe consciously, I don’t know. Don’t care. My heart broke open watching him. Love, of which I never felt before in my life, poured out of my heart and flowed through my veins. My soul reached for his, called for him.
I have claimed to love this man, said it to myself over and over again through the years. However, I didn’t know what it truly meant. I didn’t believe I felt what it meant to truly, unequivocally, love someone. But now…
I…I was in love. Seriously, was this how it felt? To be in love? To want someone so desperately, you could barely breathe?
Because, I couldn’t breathe now.
To make matters worse, the lyrics to that pesky song popped into my head. You know the one that had me running for the elevator a few weeks back? Yup, you guessed it, Fan-freakin-tasia, When I see you.
I was fucked…
I grabbed the t-shirt at my chest and started to rub, as if that was going to get my lungs to work again. Panic seized my body, held me so tight I was beginning to see stars from lack of oxygen.
I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t get past the huge boulder in my throat.
Shane glanced my way. Maybe he sensed what was happening to me, I couldn’t tell you. He closed the book, dropped it on the floor and shifted closer to me.
“Breathe, baby,” he demanded, his voice low, strong and god… so got damn sexy.
I tried to breathe, really I did. But I was in full panic mode.
“Grace, baby. Breathe.” He pulled my arm, lifting me into a sitting position. He shifted closer and hefted me into his lap. Warm palms enveloped my cheeks as tears gathered, clouding my vision. I took in the man that I loved through watered eyes… My soulmate. The one that God made just for me. Oh fuck…
“What’s wrong, baby? Talk to me?”
I shook my head, opened my mouth to tell him everything that was filling my heart. All the words, the emotions choking me, but I couldn’t speak.
So, I did the next best thing. I showed him.
I grabbed the back of his neck, fisted his hair and crashed my lips to his. He welcomed me immediately, opening to me without probing. My tongue found his and we danced, fondled, caressed each other with so much reverence I thought I would explode.
Shane’s arms dove underneath my shirt and wrapped around me. He held me so close, so tight as if he was letting me know he did not intend to ever let me go. Good because I didn’t want him to ev
er let me go.
I continued to drive this kiss, taking and taking and taking from him everything he wanted to give.
When I finally let us both up for air, we were panting hard. The green in his eyes, which was more prominent than the blue, met mine intently. Soft fingers caressed my face, my lips. I did the same to him, hoping like hell he saw what was in my heart through my eyes. Felt it in my touch.
I gave him a soft smile as my body melted into his.
“Fuck, Grace,” he whispered. “That look in your eyes…the look you’re giving me.” He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes as his hands continued to stroke my heated skin.
After a few heartbeats had passed, he leaned back and dark pools of liquid heat took me in.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
I tried to look away. He pulled my face back toward him and continued to destroy me and build me up all at the same time.
“I love you so fucking much. Since the moment we met, I’ve wanted you and I know it’s taken a long time but I’m here… baby look at me.” I blew out a shaky breath and met his eyes. What I saw in them was the truth behind his words staring back at me. “I love you. You’re mine Grace Michelle King. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to create a family with you, grow old with you.”
“Shane…” I tensed in his lap, unable to take the words falling from his lips. They were ripping me open.
Shane’s arm grew tighter around my waist, anchoring me to him as if he knew I was about to take flight. More tears formed heavy in my eyes and I tried to blink them away. It didn’t work. They fell without my permission.
“You’re it for me, baby,” he continued, swiping a thumb against my cheeks. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted and now that I have you, I’m never letting go.”
Shane held my gaze, never wavering, showing me just how much he wanted me, loved me, desired me. It was all too much.
Butterflies took flight in my stomach. My breathing, which by the way I had gained control of, now went haywire. My heart thumped against my chest and my skin tingled all over.
I leaned into him, rested my forehead against his and asked on a breath, “How do you know I’m the one for you?” When he didn’t respond right away, I sat up to watch his facial expression. It never changed. Until it did. It showed me more of him, more of his heart. It was a beautiful thing to experience.
“How do I know you’re the one for me?” he repeated then gave me a soft smile that unearthed my soul. God he was beautiful.
“I know it in my heart, in my soul. I can’t go a day without seeing you or talking to you. When I’m near you I can’t keep my hands off you. I crave you every second of every day. I’m addicted. I’m obsessed.”
I knew he saw the skepticism in my eyes, I couldn’t hide it. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe someone could feel the way he did. I didn’t believe someone could feel that way about me.
“Listen. Ask yourself this, if you had a choice to live your life without me, would you take it? Could you imagine how it would be without me? Because baby, I can’t live without out. I’ve tried and here I am, where I want to be, where I’m supposed to be.”
He captured my face between his hands and leaned in close.
“If the answer is—”
“No,” I said quickly, my heart ready to crumble with the thought of never having him in my life. I’d die. Shane looked confused for a second and I trapped his face between my hands and shook my head feverishly. “No, I can’t see myself without you. I need you. I want you. I Lo—”
My words were swallowed up in a kiss that took my breath away. It was rough, and demanding, and dirty and hungry and everything I needed.
I put everything I had in this kiss. My dreams, desires, cravings, fears, longing, yearning, needs, wants, joy, sadness, darkness… I gave him me. Every single unhinged part of me. I gave him my heart. I knelt before him and offered up my black soul and fuck if he didn’t take everything I gave him until there was nothing left.
I wasn’t the only one in a giving mood. He gave himself to me too. I felt it in his touch, his kiss. He opened himself up to me and gave me the inner most parts of him. I wasn’t worthy of this man, I knew it but I didn’t care. He was everything to me and I wasn’t about to let him go.
I pulled away from him, desperate for air and rasped, “I need to feel you, baby. Please. I need…”
I didn’t have to say another word. Shane leaned forward slightly and pulled his shirt off. I stood yanked my shirt off and got rid of my panties.
He grabbed for my hips and pulled me back on his lap. I reached into his shorts and released the beast. Shane barely pulled his shorts down before I gripped his hard shaft, raised up and slid slowly down his length.
“Fuckkkk, Grace,” he moaned and lightly met my forehead with his. We breathed each other in, savoring the feel of each other, the heightened sensation that flowed through us both.
Then he leaned back, his lips but a breath away and said softly, “Make love to me, baby. Show me how much you love me.”
And I did. I held his face in my hands, my eyes glued to his, and made love to him until we both came. It was… god. It was the best I had ever had in my entire life.
I had no idea where we went from here and I was scared half out of my mind. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to act nor what to expect. I had secrets that I needed to share and I would. Just… Not right now.
Right now I wanted to enjoy him. Bask in the happiness that filled my heart and hope that once I told him everything I didn’t lose him. That would truly suck hairy ass.
Shane
I woke to the sound of my woman moaning in her sleep. It wasn’t that good moan either, the one that I cause to fall from her lips every chance I get. No, this one was filled with aguish and agony.
I opened my eyes and found her lying on her side, facing me. Her beautiful face was pinched with pain. Her body jerked and shifted but her eyes remained closed tight. When my name fell from her lips in a soft cry of despair, I reached out and palmed her face. Sweat coated her clammy skin. I shifted my hands to caress her arm, and realized she was completely covered in sweat. I moved closer and soothed her with my words. I wanted to wake her up but I didn’t, not yet anyway. It was never wise to wake up someone like Misty when she’s enthralled in a nightmare. It could mean your life, especially if what she was dreaming about was violence. I needed to get her calm first.
I watched the expression on her face change from troubled and tense to soft and relaxed from the sound of my voice. I continued to talk to her, letting her know I was here, that she was okay and safe and that I had her. A set of wide eyes popped open for a few seconds, searched mine then closed just as fast. She shifted her body closer, burying her face into my chest, and throwing her leg over my hip. She mumbled something against my skin and shifted even closer.
I grinned, laid back and brought her body with me. She nestled close and in seconds, I felt her breathing slow. I kissed her forehead and wrapped an arm around her body keeping her close.
I closed my eyes and sent a quick prayer of thanks up to the man above. Finally. Finally, I had her right where I wanted her. She was officially mine; her admission of ownership falling gracefully past her luscious lips was proof of that fact.
This week had gone exactly how I expected. Don’t get me wrong, nothing was faked or rehearsed. I was myself with her. I let her feel what was in my heart. I let go and loved on her the way I’ve wanted since we met. I had expected, at the end of the week, for her to catch on and call me out or something. She didn’t. She did one better. She gave her heart to me. She finally opened herself up to me and let me inside her soul and I had chick flicks to thank. What were the odds.
My phone began to ring, disturbing the night. Misty mumbled her displeasure and pulled away from me allowing me to lean over and grab the offending object. I checked who was calling, found it was the office and climbed out of bed.
/>
“I’ll be back,” I said to her. In response, she grabbed my pillow, hugged it to her chest and moaned contently.
I grabbed my shorts from the floor and walked out of the bedroom, answering the call before it ended.
“Yeah, what do you have?”
It was Junior.
“We got a request from the CIA to meet in the morning around six am.”
I grunted, tucked the phone between my cheek and threaded my legs in my shorts. “Oh yeah. That’s nice of them. What made them change their tunes and finally commit?”
“Not sure. The call came in on the switch board. The DDCI’s secretary called in the order.”
“Order huh. Thanks. Let me give them a call.”
I hung up with Junior and sat down at the island. Clocking the time was four am, I called Santini’s cell. The call went straight to voicemail. So fucking convenient.
I ended the call and dialed his office. A pleasant yet stern voice picked up the call.
“How can I direct your call?”
“I need to speak to Santini,” I replied curtly.
“I’m sorry, the DDCI is unavailable. May I take a message?”
“Where is he? Is he in the office?” I asked irritation lacing my voice. I was tired of the bullshit and had no problem with showing it.
The woman paused before she answered, “As I said, he’s—”
I cut her off. “Listen, I know you’re just doing your job so don’t take this the wrong way. Or do. But I don’t have time for these games. Have Santini call me now or trust me when I say, he won’t like the outcome.”